Nigerian Food | Page 3 of 9

Rice is a staple meal in Nigeria. Our Jollof rice has travelled far and wide and caused debates across countries, most popularly Nigeria vs Ghana Jollof wars. Although rice is a multitalented bad bitch, it’s not all hits with rice meals. Some meals are glorious, while some others are bland at best.

BEST

1. White rice and stew

The ability to slap in your natural state with little to no assistance is why rice and stew reign supreme. Rice and stew can be eaten at any time of the day with any type of protein and still bang. The only time rice and stew isn’t a hit is when the stew isn’t well prepared.

2. Rice and beans

Rice and beans cooked together is one of God’s best ideas given to man. There’s no stew type with which rice and beans can’t be eaten. This meal is a queen, and that’s on periodt.

3. Concoction rice

Concoction rice is the middle child that knows how to get shit done and comes through when necessary. When you’re low on cash, this meal is your knight in shining amour.

4. Jollof rice

Jollof is in third place because although it’s a delicious meal, it’s not always gotten right. Also, the fact that the spelling and preparation of this meal are inconsistent has taken away some points from the greatness — For starters, wtf is “jellof”?

5. Native rice

A true bad bitch is what native rice is. The taste of native rice will stay on the tip of your tongue, leaving you wanting more of it. God bless the person who created this recipe.

6. Ofada rice and ayamase/ofada sauce

Ofada rice is best eaten with ayamase sauce, and even tho ofada sauce works. The issue with ofada sauce is the overpowering peppery taste when it’s not cooked right when more attention is given to the pepper than the sauce.

RELATED: 6 Nigerian Meals That Are Perfect for the Rainy Season

MOST UNNECESSARY

1. Pepper rice

Special shoutout to Yoruba women and Babcock University students for inventing this meal. As the name implies, it’s peppery rice, and it’s best eaten with peppered turkey or snail.

2. Coconut rice

Coconut rice is any type of rice you like cooking with coconut milk. This one just likes to be extra, always doing the most. It’s delicious, though. The problem s its oversabi.

3. Banga rice

Banga rice bangs like a banger. It’s a pretty delicious meal, but it’s something we can do without. Banga soup works best with swallow, and mixing it with rice feels like overkill sometimes.

4. Fried rice

Fried rice is coming in last place because no real baddie needs as much assistance as it does. So fragile and so high-maintenance. Ain’t nobody got time for dat. Fried rice requires all the condiments in the world and still manages to spoil with the slightest excuse. If you’re not going to see the break of dawn, why are you so extra and want everything to be put inside you?

ALSO READ: 7 Meals You Can Eat on Sunday Instead of Rice
If you’re like me, and you like to enjoy the ~~frequent~~ occasional meal in the middle of the night, you can relate to the guilt that comes with it. But why feel guilt when you’re enjoying life? No, you’re not eating like a thief. You just like enjoyment.

These are the 7 foods that slap better at 2 a.m.

Eba

Eba is a meal you can eat at anytime of the day. But eating it at 2 a.m. when your body is in rest mode makes it settle better in your stomach — especially when paired with hot Egusi or Okra soup.

Noodles

Eating noodles with two boiled eggs and one sausage at 2 a.m. will change your life. And the great part is, it’s always very easy to cook and you also don’t have to wash too many pots. Enjoyment.

RELATED: Eat These Delicious Foods And You Won’t Gain Weight. We Promise

Custard

With plenty of milk and sugar, else it won’t bang. If you’re struggling to sleep at that time, make yourself some custard. The warmth and sweet taste of it will knock you out.

Bread and butter

Eating just bread at that time slaps, especially when you squeeze it in your hand before putting it in your mouth. But if you now add butter and sardine? Hay God, words can’t describe the deliciousness! I know Sardine is expensive but remember, you came to this life for enjoyment.

Leftover restaurant food

Fajita fixings and flour tortilla in a carryout box

Leftover restaurant food is what you told yourself you’ll eat for breakfast or lunch the next day but somehow ended up eating at 2 a.m. Not because of hunger, but because it was just on your mind. And the food always tastes so much better after microwaving at midnight than when you eat it in a restaurant.

Plantain and beans

Frying plantain in the middle of the night is stressful, but the reward is worth it. Midnight is when you can fry and eat as many plantains as you want without anybody begging you or asking you to fry for them.

Meat

Going to the kitchen to take meat from the pot of soup or stew is only something you do in the middle of the night. Because the fear of being caught is part of the ingredients. Just make sure the pot cover doesn’t fall and make noise, else its mission failed — even if you live alone.

ALSO READ: You Should Eat These Seven Foods Chilled as a Treat for Your Tastebuds

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The rainy season is upon us, and unlike other seasons of the year, it’s an exceptional one. This season comes with the lethargy that makes you want to lay in bed all day and do nothing. What we eat during this time directly impacts our productivity and need for companionship.

These Nigerian meals are perfect for this rainy season.

Eba

The rainy season is the perfect season for sleeping, and eba is the ideal meal to induce sleep. When you’re done eating the eba, you won’t remember you’re alone in bed. The type of eba doesn’t matter.

Beans

Picking beans is an effective way to keep your productivity levels up during the rainy season. We usually want to lay in bed under our sheets doing nothing when it rains. Make it a habit to pick and cook beans to help keep your energy up. This theory has been tested and trusted.

Pepper soup

Nigerian mums and aunties have sold us that pepper soup helps with cough and cold. You want to enjoy the weather without catching a cold because of small rain.

RELATED: How to Make Pepper Soup

Boiled yam and ofada sauce

Yam and eggs is an everyday meal, but boiled yam and ofada sauce is a special meal for rainy days. Imagine having some boiled yam with ofada sauce with hot milk and milo on a rainy morning. You can kiss your tasks goodbye for the day, but do your tasks matter?

Amala, ewedu, gbegiri and goat meat

Amala is the bad bitch of Nigerian meals. Come rain, come sunshine, she’s the ultimate companion. You can trust amala to stick with you like a friend who stays closer than a brother through the rainy season. For premium enjoyment, buy your amala from your favourite bukka.

RELATED: A Step-by-Step Guide to Loving Amala

Your partner

Please, eat your Nigerian partner out till their eyes roll to the back of their head. It’s the least you can do for them on a rainy day.

ALSO READ: 9 Things Single People Can Do During ‘Weather for Two’
Sometimes you’re not in the mood to cook. And you’re also not in the mood to spend money on food, because you don’t have money in the first place. What’s left is for you to open your fridge and check what you can re-heat. To make it easier for you, we’ve listed seven foods that taste just as good when eaten as leftovers.

Jollof Rice

Of course, this is number one on the list. Jollof rice will always bang no matter how many days it’s been kept in the fridge. In fact, the longer it stays, the better it tastes. That’s why it’s a bad bitch.

Banga Soup

Banga soup bangs —pun intended — when you have to re-heat it. This is because by the second day, all the juices in the soup have settled and everything has mixed well. Because let’s be honest, Banga soup was never created to be eaten on the first day.

Ofada Stew

Keeping ofada stewand re-heating it days after makes the pepper settle well and come out stronger which then makes the rice —or whatever you’re eating it with— taste better. And this is why it’s a top tier leftover food, especially if you’re a fan of spicy food.

RELATED: QUIZ: What Celebratory Food Are You?

Spaghetti

Stir-fry spaghetti that is re-fried in a pan tastes amazing. It tastes just as if you just made it. If it’s plain spaghetti you have leftover, simply mix it with any stew you have while heating and you have yourself some Jollof spaghetti.

Eba

Wait, before you cancel me, hear me out. You can eat eba the next day and it’ll still slap just as if you just made it. There are two ways this can work: re-heat the eba in a microwave, or make sure your soup is really hot and eat it with the cold eba. You’ll thank me for this.

Yam

The only thing about eating yam as a leftover is that it should be eaten the next day. If not, the yam becomes too hard to eat. There’s no need to waste that extra yam that you couldn’t eat. Eat it with eggs or stew the next day.

RELATED: We Ranked These Yam Dishes From Worst To Best

Fried plantain

This only works if you’re warming the plantain in a microwave and eating it with any type of rice afterwards. That’s when it hits.

Ogbono

Ogbono tastes the same no matter how long it’s been left over for. And that means you can always count on it whenever you’re thinking of what to warm and eat.

Suya

In fact, I’ll argue that leftover suya tastes better than suya you buy and eat on the same day. There’s just something different about the way the meat tastes after it’s been kept in the fridge. It’s hard to explain. It then tastes so much better when you add it to noodles.

Beans

Porridge beans is another meal that can be eaten as a leftover no matter how long it has stayed in the fridge. That’s why that a lot of Nigerian households use large pots to cook beans so that if there’s nothing else to eat, there’ll always be beans. And it would still bang. Just eat it with plantain or agege bread.

ALSO READ: Eat These Delicious Foods And You Won’t Gain Weight. We Promise
Amala, ewedu, and gbegiri, also called “Abula”, isn’t a meal that exactly enjoys the best PR. In fact, it’s one of the most slandered meals on Obasanjo’s internet, especially by people who didn’t grow up in Western Nigeria.

However, according to the Zikoko Bureau of Imaginary Statistics (ZBIS), a lot of people fall in love with the Western Nigerian staple once they give it a chance. Having met and spoken with people who overcame their initial disgust to fall in love with abula, we have decided to draft a step-by-step guide on how to love and enjoy the meal.

1. Don’t judge a book by its cover

You know that looks can be deceiving shey? I mean, look at the disappointment that is strawberries and Lagos Island at night. Some of you have said that abula isn’t particularly big on aesthetics, but what it lacks in looks, it makes up for in taste.

2. Be brave

Yes, we admit that deciding to start eating abula as an adult is no easy feat, especially as you may have some issues with its UI. But you have to be brave in your resolve. You have to be determined to try, against all principalities and powers preventing you from giving this meal a chance.

3. Be open-minded

Being open-minded is not just about understanding the opinions of others. You have to be able to give things a chance regardless of what other people have said about them. Gather courage and look beyond all the amala slander that flies into your face every time you log in on Twitter.

4. Therapy

For people who have been scarred by traumatic images of amala and ewedu on the internet, it may not be easy for you to come up with the psychological resolve to eat it on your own. You may also not be mentally ready for the shock you’re about to experience when the delicious taste of abula hits your taste buds. So you may need to see a shrink to mentally prepare you for what’s to come.

5. Divine guidance

Some of you may have never tasted abula because you lack the spiritual foresight to know the good things of this life. So you may need to contact your spiritual leader after you’re done with therapy.

With these few guidelines we have provided, we hope you now have the tools to execute judgment upon the next bowl of abula that comes your way.

ALSO READ: Interview With White Amala and Black Amala: “Hating Amala Is A Character Flaw.”
Thyme, curry and crayfish are the staples of a typical Nigerian kitchen. If you have any more spices, are you sure you’re not doing too much?

1. White pepper

If it’s not red, is it really pepper? White pepper is the spice keeping creamy pasta and seafood dishes around. Think of it as a version of dried red peppers with a more pungent flavour and smell. The only upside is the fact that it’s hotter than black pepper. But why do you have white pepper in your house when you’re not opening a restaurant?

2. Black pepper

Black pepper isn’t even spicy, so why this? What can it do that fresh red pepper and suya pepper can’t achieve? If you have black pepper in your kitchen, you know it’s just occupying space on the shelf. How many times have you even used it? Don’t lie.

RELATED: Here’s Proof That Nigerians Will Put Pepper in Anything

3. Cinnamon

First of all, cinnamon overpowers everything it touches. I know cinnamon toast lovers will come for me, but all you need is fluffy agege bread with akara. Cinnamon is an overkill, please

4. Nutmeg

I’ll excuse the people using this for pastries. But it’s the people that add nutmeg to jollof rice for me. Why? Nutmeg is sweet and completely throws off the taste of smoky jollof. Keep it strictly for pastries, please.

RELATED: 10 Food Combinations Nigerians Need To Normalise

5. Turmeric

Apart from staining every single thing it touches, what is the purpose of turmeric in your kitchen?

6. Cumin

If you have curry powder, then you’re not missing out on cumin. I agree it adds a nice smell to food, but are we eating aroma? No. So, please dear.

7. Oregano

Oregano is like the minty version of thyme, so having it in your house is simply oversabi. You don’t need it.

8. Rock salt

Why do you need rock salts when it tastes like regular salt? It’s basically an overpriced version of salt, and in this economy, what are you trying to prove?

QUIZ: Score 9/11 to Prove That Your Food Isn’t Tasteless
Everyone knows Bread is a bad bitch. She can be a bad bitch either alone or with company, so it’s no surprise when everyone tries to be Bread’s lover. She’s seen jam, beans, butter and even pap compete to be her primary companion.

Today, Bread invited all her admirers to debate on why she should spend the rest of her life with one of them.

Jam

Bread, you are sweet, but with me, you’re sweeter. I know I was created with you in mind, my sweetness was made for yours and my creator made me because you exist. I can’t imagine a life without you and I don’t want to spend the rest of mine without the food that works best with me. Ignore what the rest of them say because when you’re with me, you’re your best self.

Butter

I know I’m multifaceted, but I spread better when I’m with you. We work together, I in you and you in me. Issues may arise from me seeing other foods, but you’re the one I want to continue spreading on for the rest of my life. Yours, butter.

Beans

Butter said it’s multifaceted, but I’m the Beyonce of meals. I have been with you in different forms and I have weathered many storms with you. I’ve been with you as cooked beans, as ewa agoyin, as moin-moin, as akara and as ekuru. The list goes on and on. You too, see how many good and tasty things we’ve achieved together. I’m with you and for you and I look forward to being yours for as long as I live.

Fried Egg

I am risking my relationship with Yam to be here today. Bread, if you don’t accept me, I’ll have nowhere to run to. You know we shouldn’t be doing this

Mayonnaise

To be very honest, I don’t know what I am doing here. I heard people shouting Bread and I decided to follow them. All I know is that people keep trying to force a relationship on us and I have been encouraging them. Even I know that we don’t go well together. I am a colonizer and that’s what I’m about to do here.

Stew

I’ve been by your side before the rest of them existed and I have to admit that I’m a little heartbroken that you’re letting the others get to your head. Contrary to what you think, I am not your bro, I know my siblings and they know me. I want to be your lover, Dip yourself into me and experience hot, spicy, unspeakable joy.

Peanut Butter

I saw jam coming here and decided to join them. All I want is for Bread, jam and I to be a throuple and I’ll be ok.

Indomie

I think I’m lost. Where is the way out of here?

*Oats and avocado are still at the door knocking, but Bread has heard enough*
Since the beginning of time, garri and groundnut have been saving the lives of broke Nigerians. While this combination bangs with ice-cold water after a long day, here are eight other things you need to try out for an even better experience with garri.

1. Nutri-c

Make it cold. If you already put milo or milk in your garri, this is something you need to try. Nutri-c made everything better in secondary school, so why not? It’s simply flavoured water and will elevate the taste of garri.

2. Ice cream

Think of it as a creamier version of garri and milk. You’ll never look back.

3. Boiled eggs

Ghanaians are already on this combo with waakye, so what’s stopping you? If you can eat garri and akara, then boiled eggs are a more proteinous option.

4. Coffee

It’s a quick snack before work if you’re too lazy to cook. Think of it as a version of cornflakes you don’t have to be worried about getting soggy.

5. Honey

For one, it’s healthier and still sweet, so you’re already one step ahead of diabetes. We have to look out for the older millennials and fit-fam people that still love to enjoy garri.

6. Sausage

It’s also the same price with groundnut if you’re buying from a mallam, 50. So you don’t have to break the bank for enjoyment. A substitute that tastes just as good as chicken suya when you’re broke.

7. Fried grasshopper

What’s the difference between this one and dried fish? Besides, it’s a cheaper option because you can catch it yourself and fry. You don’t need to spend any extra money when you’re already broke.

8. Sardine

Fish is fish. Sardine is too expensive for anyone to assume it’s SAPA making you drink garri. This is how the elite do it.
Meat pie is perfectly imperfect because it doesn’t contain these 8 ingredients. If we fix up and start including these ingredients in meat pie, it’ll finally become elite. You’re welcome.

1. Yam

What are potatoes if not yams yassified? Anything potatoes can do, yam can do. Yam even has an upper hand because it can choke you and I’ve never seen potatoes do that, please.

2. Beans

Knowing that this is already a thing in Warri just shows that they have good taste. Elevate your taste buds today and add this in the next time you’re making meat pie.

3. Scent leaves

I feel like there’s nothing that scent leaves can’t make better. They can give you clear skin, make the quality of your life better, attract money to you — we’ve tested, tried and and now trust our findings, don’t worry.

4. Eja kika

`Just let us put you on to good things. There’s fish and then there’s eja kika. It’s not the same thing I promise you. The texture, the taste — especially when boiled — just imagine it inside meat pie. Something divinely inspired this recommendation.

5. Okra

For one, okra is vegan, so you’ll be elevating your lifestyle. You can boil it, fry or bake it, and it would still slap. What’s a little sliminess for you, anyway?

6. Akara

What’s better than beans? Fried beans. Meat pie stuffed with akara is basically agege bread and akara that studied abroad anyway.

7. Atarodo

Just slice raw and add them to the pie so that we can actually taste the heat, please. Meat pie is too sweet please, we should humble it with a little atarodo.
Which popular Nigerian food are you? Take the quiz to find out.

1. White rice and stew

2. Rice and beans

3. Concoction rice

4. Jollof rice

5. Native rice

6. Ofada rice and ayamase/ofada sauce

1. Pepper rice

2. Coconut rice

3. Banga rice

4. Fried rice

Eba

Noodles

Custard

Bread and butter

Leftover restaurant food

Plantain and beans

Meat

Zikoko is launching a new series where we explore those friendships, familial and romantic relationships that are no longer sailing.

Eba

Beans

Pepper soup

Boiled yam and ofada sauce

Amala, ewedu, gbegiri and goat meat

Your partner

Jollof Rice

Banga Soup

Ofada Stew

Spaghetti

Eba

Yam

Fried plantain

Ogbono

Suya

Beans

1. Don’t judge a book by its cover

2. Be brave

3. Be open-minded

4. Therapy

5. Divine guidance

1. White pepper

2. Black pepper

3. Cinnamon

4. Nutmeg

5. Turmeric

6. Cumin

7. Oregano

8. Rock salt

Jam

Butter

Beans

Fried Egg

Mayonnaise

Stew

Peanut Butter

Indomie

1. Nutri-c

2. Ice cream

3. Boiled eggs

4. Coffee

5. Honey

6. Sausage

7. Fried grasshopper

8. Sardine

1. Yam

2. Beans

3. Scent leaves

4. Eja kika

5. Okra

6. Akara

7. Atarodo