Nigerians always get creative in finding new and hilarious coping mechanisms when our leaders show us shege pro-max unprovoked, which is all the time.
In case you’ve heard your friend or neighbour using the phrase “floating berries and groceries” loosely on Twitter, it’s not because they’re rich. Let’s bring you up to speed real quick.
Grocery
The most popular of the bunch, grocery in Jagaban’s Nigeria is simply the new name for garri.
Floating berries
Our sense of humour will always get us through the tough times because tell me why this is the new name for groundnut. Tears!
Spicy steak
There’s no need to feel intimidated if your friend goes on and on about spicy steak. In Tinubu’s Nigeria, that’s the new name for kilishi.
White caramel
Source: All recipes
Look no further, this is milk—whether powdered or evaporated.
Crunchy peas
Source: cookpad
One of the biggest scams of the agbado era is the new name for roasted corn.
Sweetener
Source: CNN
Sugar has also gotten a fancy name. For example, if you want to have garri with milk, groundnut and sugar, you’ll say: “I want to have some groceries, floating berries, some sweetener topped with a dash of white caramel.”
Seafood
Source: wikimedia commons
Please dear, you won’t be getting jumbo prawns or calamari. This is the new name for deep-fried panla. God, abeg.
Chocolate crunches
Source: Tasteatlas
Again, no need for any form of intimidation if you see anyone using this term loosely in Tinubu’s Nigeria; they’re talking about kulikuli.
Heated maize smoothie
Source: Grainfield
You’ve probably had it while it was cold and raining but since you were not informed at the time, now you know this is pap. A.k.a ogi.
Oceanic Aqua
Source: iStock
A glass of oceanic aqua please.
