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  • Moderator: Happy New Year and welcome to 2023! This year, we have a long list of people who want to make their case in front of the judge. For our first debate of the year at Zikoko HQ, Amala, Eba and Pounded Yam will go against each other for the title of “Best Swallow in Nigeria”. To make it more interesting, Semo will make a case for why they should be included as one of the top swallows. 

    As usual, there are two rounds. The three parties will present their arguments to the judges in the first round. They have two minutes each, so they have to be as brief as possible. In the second round, they’ll go toe-to-toe. May the best swallow win.

    Eba, you’re up first. 

    (Eba walks to the stand) 

    Image credit: Tribune online

    Eba: Good morning my able panel of judges, accurate timekeeper and moderator. My name is Eba, and I’m here to assert the motion that I’m the best swallow in Nigeria. You see, I’m a staple food in every Nigerian home. When there’s nothing to eat, I’m there. And unlike Amala, I’m not limited to one soup.

    Amala:

    Eba: I’m the cheapest swallow, and I come in many variations — yellow, white and Ijebu garri — so people get to experience me differently. Oh, and let’s not forget I’m easy to make. I’m ready in five minutes, and you don’t have to use all the power in your body to turn or pound me. 

    (Eba walks back to their seat as Amala walks to the stage) 

    Amala: There is this constant debate about whether I’m trash or not. But the people who say I’m trash usually haven’t tried me yet.

    Exhibit A

    I may be tough to make, but trust me, I’m worth the wait.

    Pounded yam: Are you flirting with the judge?

    Amala: Shut up. What are you saying? 

    Like I was saying, I’m not a common commodity eaten by everybody, like eba and pounded yam. I’m a rare gem. I’m mostly seen at parties where people rush me. My dear audience, how many times do people ask for eba at parties? Are they even invited for parties? Exactly. I’m the most talked about swallow, and if I wasn’t the best, people wouldn’t be out there fighting for me.

    (Amala walks back to their seat as pounded yam mounts the stage) 

    Pounded yam: Good morning, everyone. My name is pounded yam, and I’m THE best swallow in Nigeria. First of all, I’m the only sweet swallow; people can decide to eat me without soup, and I’ll still taste delicious. My skin is smooth, so unlike eba, I won’t get stuck in your throat. Swallows like semo and fufu tried to copy me but they didn’t turn out right, and that’s why many people don’t like them. I’m wanted both at home and at parties, and that’s why I’m the best.

    (Semo walks to the stand)

    Image credit: Business day

    Semo: I’m tired. I’m tired of the constant semo slander. Many years ago, people loved me. I was one of the top swallows in many households. Then the Gen-Zs and younger millennials came around and started tainting my name. Now, pounded yam has the audacity to tell me I’m trying to be like them. Me!

    Amala: Ermmm. This isn’t supposed to be a movie monologue. It’s a debate. Get to your points.

    Semo:

    I need people to stop slandering me. Not only is it affecting my mental health, but also, everything bad being said about me comes from Gen-Zs. So clearly, there’s an agenda against me. How can you say I taste like ass when Fufu exists? 

    I look and taste good. If not, why did Brighto always cook me in the Big Brother Naija house that year? If I’m that bad, why are factories still producing me? Clearly, I’m wanted. It’s 2023, time to stop with the insults and grow up. I’m a good ass swallow (no pun intended), and I deserve to be added to the list of best swallows. 

    (Semo walks back to their seat, and the moderator returns to the stage) 

    Moderator: Well done on the first round. Now, it’s time to face one another. You have five minutes.

    Amala: Pounded yam, how do you expect to be the best swallow when people have to suffer from body aches every time they pound you? 

    Pounded yam: If you had some sense, you’d know there are new methods that don’t involve pounding. 

    Eba: I don’t even know why this debate exists. I’m clearly the best. Do you know how many times I’m eaten in a week? Some people even eat me for breakfast and lunch. 

    Amala: Being cheap and available to be used by everybody doesn’t make you the best. It just means you’re low-quality.

    Eba: Coming from the person who’s constantly called trash? Not the pot calling the kettle black. 

    Amala:

    Semo: I don’t care about all these things you people are saying. I just want everyone to agree I deserve to be at the top just like all of you. 

    Amala: See this plagiarised pounded yam talking. Abeg, shift. 

    Semo:

    Eba: Please, don’t make pounded yam feel important. *Looks at pounded yam* People barely eat you or talk about you. Sometimes, we even forget you exist. Even semo is more talked about than you. Even if it’s slander.

    Semo:

    Pounded yam: What is this one saying? You that tastes like sand. You’re only good for sticking things on the wall.  

    Amala: And you have a serious case of identity crisis because you can’t decide if you want to be yellow, white or Ijebu.

    Eba: Are you mad? 

    Amala: And Pounded yam, you make people feel too heavy. That’s why they don’t like to eat you. 

    Pounded yam: People don’t like to eat you cause you’re black.

    Amala: Wow! The colourism jumped out. Not that I expected better from a light-skinned person anyway. 

    Moderator: Okay, that’s enough. Time’s up. Let’s take a short break to give the judges time to collate the results and decide on a winner. 

    (One of the judges walks to the stage) 

    Judge: You all did well in your arguments. But a winner must be decided.  

    Judge: And the best swallow to exist in Nigeria is… Amala!

    Amala: 

    ALSO READ: Port Harcourt Bole and Lagos Boli Fight for the Title of “Best Roasted Plantain” 

  • Moderator: Today at Zikoko HQ, we have three debaters — fried, jollof and coconut rice — going against each other for the “Best Rice in Nigeria” title. There are two rounds. The three parties will present their arguments to the judges in the first round. 

    They have two minutes each to make their arguments, so they need to be as brief as possible. In the second round, they’ll go toe-to-toe. May the best rice win.

    Coconut rice, you’re up first.

    (Coconut rice walks to the stand) 

    Coconut rice: Good morning my able panel of judges, accurate timekeeper and moderator. My name is coconut rice, and I’m here to assert the motion that I’m the best rice in Nigeria.  

    Jollof rice: 

    Coconut: Unlike my colleagues, fried and jollof, I’m the healthiest rice. The coconut milk used to make me has anti-viral properties and is good for brain development and bone health. I am not fried or cooked in oil like my opponents here, who can clog people’s hearts from the amount of fat inside them. Also, I’m highly sought after because I’m not common. Also, have you ever walked into a room where I’m being cooked? The aroma is so divine it’ll make you crave me more. I can be eaten alone or with my friends: shrimps, prawns, carrots, peas, beef and co. Whichever way you choose to eat me, I’ll taste great. 

    (Coconut rice walks back to its seat as Jollof walks to the stage) 

    ALSO READ: 5 Types of Rice Nigerians Need to Respect More

    Jollof: Good morning, my able panel of judges, accurate timekeeper and moderator. My name is Jollof, and I’m here to assert that I’m the best rice in Nigeria. Now, I’m not going to come here and mention health facts that I Googled five minutes before getting on stage. 

    (Jollof smirks and looks at coconut rice)

    Coconut: 

    Jollof: I don’t need to say too much. I’m the most popular rice out there. I’m so famous that African countries constantly fight about which version of me is the best. No event is complete without me there, whether it’s a wedding, office party or burial. Even in game nights, I’m there. I’m a delicious necessity; people just can’t do without me.

    Thank you. 

    (Jollof rice walks back to their seat as fried rice mounts the stage) 

    Photo credit: JCI

    Fried: Good morning everyone. My name is fried rice, and I’m here to tell you that I’m the best of the best. I may not be at every event like Jollof, but sometimes we end up sitting side by side on plates.  When that happens, people tend to eat me more because they’re just tired of Jollof.

    Jollof: 

    Fried: I’m famous in Africa and worldwide. I can be made in many different ways, and you’ll never feel like you’re eating the same type of rice. You can’t get bored with me. Families love me during special occasions like Christmas, Ramadan, birthdays etc.  And on that note, I hope I have been able to convince you and not confuse you, that I’m the best rice in Nigeria. Thank you.

    (Fried rice walks back to his seat, and the moderator comes back to the stage) 

    Moderator: Well done on the first round. Now it’s time to face one another. You have five minutes.

    Jollof: Fried rice, if you’re so popular worldwide, why are you here trying to fight for the title of the best rice in Nigeria. 

    Fried: Because Nigerians are yet to properly acknowledge my greatness. And if the judges rule me as the best rice, people will stop serving your mediocre ass at events.

    Jollof: I can never stop being served. I am the king of foods in this country, I’ve been around the longest, and I deserve to be voted as best rice. 

    Coconut: You realise that all you bring to the table is tomato and pepper. You’re literally white rice and stew mixed together. 

    Jollof: What’s this one saying? Elders are talking, and you think you can put your mouth? 

    Coconut: Such a classic boomer move, trying to use age to win an argument.

    Jollof: Yes, as long as I’m older than you, I deserve to be the best.

    Coconut: 2+2 = water bottle. What are you even saying?

    Fried: What even gave you the audacity to be here in the first place? Nobody eats you like that. How are you here, and white rice isn’t?

    Coconut: How can white rice be here instead of me. White rice can’t even stand without stew. 

    (White rice walks in through the doors and goes straight to the moderator)

    (All the other rice look confused)

    White rice: Good morning sir. I just found out there was a debate about the best type of rice in Nigeria, and I don’t know why I wasn’t invited. 

    Moderator: I’m very sure we sent you an invite. 

    White: I didn’t see anything in my e-mail.

    Moderator: Maybe it’s your network. What network do you use? 

    White: Glo — shit!

    Moderator: You see. Anyway, you’ve already missed the first round, but you can join now and make your case. 

    (White rice walks over to where the other debaters are)

    White: I can’t believe all of you are gathered here to argue about who’s the best rice when I exist. 

    Coconut: You that depends on other people’s sauce to be eaten?

    White rice: That may be true, but the other people I come with are bad bitches — pepper sauce, turkey stew, curries, vegetable stew and so forth. 

    Fried rice: But you still rely on others 

    White rice: Don’t you rely on curry and thyme and your many ingredients that take forever to cut? As for jollof, you think you’re big because you’re served at events? I’m a staple food in all Nigerian homes. Hello? Have you heard of Sunday rice?. 

    Jollof: And that’s why people get tired of your old ass. You may come with many “bad bitches”, but the most common one we know you with is tomato stew that comes with one small piece of chicken. 

    Coconut: You this baby-boomer rice, you need to rest. Your time has passed. Gen-Z rice is here to take over. 

    Fried, Jollof and white: Shut up!

    Moderator: Okay, that’s enough. Time’s up. Let’s take a short break and give the judges time to collate the results and decide on a winner. 

    White: But I didn’t even have enough time to make my argument!

    Moderator: That’s not on us, blame Glo

    White rice: (storms out in anger)

    (One of the judges walks to the stage) 

    Judge: You all did well in your arguments. Unfortunately, one person came late, but we’ve judged according to the arguments they were able to make within the time they had. A winner must still be decided. 

    Judge: And the best rice to exist in Nigeria is…Fried rice!!!

    Fried rice: 

     ALSO READ: Port Harcourt Bole and Lagos Boli Fight for the Title of “Best Roasted Plantain” 

  • I didn’t go to a boarding house for secondary school, so I have no idea what the eating situation there is like. But I’m constantly hearing stories about terrible school food and the weirdest combinations students are made to eat. 

    I’ve been intrigued about this for the longest time. Today, I finally decided to ask young Nigerians about the most bizarre things they ate in boarding school. Their answers will terrify you. 

    “We mixed egusi soup and beans because we were late for lunch”

    —  Emeka*,19

     On this particular day, eba and egusi soup was served for lunch. Unfortunately, my friends and I couldn’t make it to the lunch room on time, and all the eba had finished. We collected the soup, and some girl in the lunch room said she had leftover beans from breakfast. Because hunger was killing us, we took it and mixed it with the egusi. We created a space in the middle of the beans and poured the soup, and that’s how we ate it. The soup was so watery, some ate it like beans and garri. They’d take one spoon of beans, then drink the egusi.

    Another time, we had Jollof garri. This was made by cooking raw garri, palm oil, crayfish, onions and pepper, in a pot with no water. I still eat it to this day. The only problem is the severe constipation you’ll face much later. 

    “I drank garri with sardine inside”

    —  Abiola*, 21

    School food always tasted terrible, and we would do anything not to eat it. This meant we had to rely on our provisions whenever we were hungry. Once our provisions and money for snacks finished, we had to come up with ways to combine foods so we won’t die of starvation. 

    A lot of the weird things we ate revolved around eba. There was “ebansa”:eba and sardine, “ebange”: eba and geisha and “ebanspice”: eba with Maggi, salt, pepper and a little water. But it all started with “ebanketch”, which is eba and ketchup. 

    I remember a time we stole scent leaves from someone’s farm, washed and cut it, put it in a plate of water, and added salt, Maggi and pepper. We ate it with eba. When the eba finished, we ate the rest of the “soup” with Cabin biscuit. We spent the rest of the day going back and forth to the toilet. It was epic. 

    We also tried beans and pineapple, bread and palm oil, boiled egg with pepper, salt and Maggi. Sometimes, I drank garri with sardine inside.  

    ALSO READ: 9 Life Hacks From Boarding House That Helped Us Survive in Nigeria

    “We ate termites and raw corn” 

    — Ogochukwu*, 21

    Termites were a special delicacy for students in my boarding school. 

    We’d catch them by putting bowls of water underneath the lights they were swarming around, before going for prep at 7 p.m. When we came back at 10 p.m., there would be a lot of termites in the bowl. For the next two hours, we would sit and stick long broomsticks through them and wrap in newspapers. In the morning, after breakfast, we’d head to the kitchen and roast them over coal, garnished with salt and pepper. We ate the termites while drinking garri. 

    We also ate raw corn. My school was a federal government college, so there were many farms owned by staff and people who rented land around it. We were prohibited from going to the farms, but we always snuck in to steal corn. We’d try to roast it at night over the coal iron in our room, but the smell always spread immediately, so we couldn’t roast for more than five minutes. This meant we always ended up eating it raw, but the corn was very milky and juicy, so we didn’t mind. I’m sure this contributed to my appendicitis a few months after graduating.

    “Fasting made me eat eba and beans” 

    — Fatimah*, 20 

    During Ramadan, we ate beans and eba for Iftar in the evening. Due to the fasting, we had to combine our afternoon meal(beans) and evening meal (eba and soup). It actually tasted nice. There was also this meal called “fetch”, which was basically eba mixed with sardine or geisha. We ate it like eba and soup. It was very disgusting, but we ate it almost every weekend because we had no choice; the school food was awful.

    “We made our sandwiches with groundnut, milo and milk”

    — Ismaila*,23

    On Sundays, our school served us bread, butter, Milo and milk for breakfast. And my friends would make a sandwich out of all the ingredients, including Milo and milk, then add sardine. Jollof rice with boiled eggs and fruits was served for lunch one particular day. I’d kept my breakfast till after lunch because I wanted to add the boiled eggs and groundnuts to my sandwich. So it became a sardine, butter, milk, Milo, groundnut and boiled egg sandwich. I loved it. 

    ALSO READ: 10 Nigerians Talk About Traumatic Experiences They Faced In Boarding School

    “We created our own cereal by mixing cornflakes, garri and sardine”

    — Itohan, 21

    We mixed cornflakes with garri, sardine and pepper. It was a delicacy we ate once in a while, usually on Saturdays. Some of my roommates would do just garri or cornflakes, but I liked to do both. And it had to be Nasco because it tasted better than any other cereal. Everything about the combination was elite; the crunch, the flavour, the pepper… they mixed well to make such a delicious meal. I still eat it at home once in a while. 

    “One of the best things we had was Milo candy”

    —  Kai, 22

    Back in school, we mixed ground cabin biscuits with butter, milk and sugar. If we had money, we’d also add chocolates. It tasted amazing, much better than school food. We also did this thing where we’d put Milo in sheets of paper and place it under our mattresses for at least a day. The next day, it would be really hard like candy. We loved it so much because we didn’t have access to candy or anything sweet in our school, except when people’s parents visited. We also mixed Tasty Time and Nutri C to make soda during hostel parties. It tasted great back then, but it’s not something I’d drink now. 

    ALSO READ: Ranked! Boarding House Meals

  • In this Nigerian economy, I can’t understand how and why mothers are feeding their babies Cerelac. First, it’s expensive (if you can afford Cerelac, you’re part of the rich we should be eating). Secondly, with the type of energy babies expend, there’s no way a mix of wheat and milk is enough for them. They need to eat proper food like the ones I’ve listed below. 

    Akara and Bread

    Image source: Maryam’s Nitty Wall

    Only feed this to them on Saturday mornings. So they know it’s part of a routine. It’ll even be better if you give them a few chores to do before they eat. That way, they’ll learn about delayed gratification and reward for hard work. 

    Jollof rice 

    Image source: Premium times 

    If there’s one significant meal babies must eat, it’s Jollof rice, the meal that brings Nigerians together across all tribes. It’s a part of our traditional and pop culture. Feeding them white man’s food (Cerelac) is almost disrespectful when they’ve not had Nigeria’s staple. Also, they need context to properly fight the Jollof wars when speaking to their baby friends from other African countries. 

    Amala, ewedu and gbegiri 

    Image source: African Foods Export 

    We’ve been blessed with an elite meal, amala, and I don’t see why babies should be deprived of such a blessing. Also, how else will they understand the jaiye lifestyle if they’re not eating one of the significant Nigerian party foods?

    ALSO READ:  I Liked Eating These Meals as a Child, But Now I Hate Them

    Rice and stew 

    Image source: Spark Recipes

    This is to remind them that there’ll always be rice at home. Let them get used to the taste of what that feels like. So when they tell you they want to eat burger, and you say, “there’s rice at home”, they won’t give you an attitude. 

    Beans 

    Image source: Bella Naija

    Do you not want your babies to grow? So feed them what their body needs. But let it be ewa agoyin with fried plantain and two ponmo because that’s the complete package. You can blend the ponmo if you want. 

    Akpu 

    Image source: Cookpad

    Akpu is to teach them that life can be hard sometimes. If you’ve eaten akpu before, you’ll know what I’m talking about. From the name alone, you can already tell how hard the food is. 

    Isi ewu 

    Image source: The Guardian Nigeria 

    This teaches them that they’ll always be the head and not the tail in life. And it’s also sort of a prayer that they’ll be G.O.A.Ts in whatever they do. 

    Creamy pasta 

    Image source: No spoon necessary

    Babies need to eat creamy pasta to be bad bitches when they grow up. The type who goes to Ilashe beach on weekends and knows how to enjoy life. 

    Semo

    Image source: Cookpad 

    Only feed them this meal once. So they’ll know to avoid it for the rest of their lives. Nobody deserves to eat semo, not even crackheads babies. 

    ALSO READ: Nigerian Women Need to Leave Pasta Alone and Try Out These 8 Other Meals

  • The food you eat says a lot about your personality. So do the snacks. Let me tell you what your favourite pastry says about you.  

    Egg Roll 

    You don’t like stress at all. You live a very simple life surrounded by work and a few friends. You’re the type who doesn’t tell people where you live because you don’t like people in your house. When people try to make plans with you, you say you’re busy. Meanwhile, all you want to do is stay home and press your phone while watching TV.

    Fish Roll 

    Every time you’re being ratioed on Twitter for saying one foolish thing or the other, you don’t care; you like going viral. You use an iPhone with those bunny ear phone cases. You’re always making mouth and acting tough like you can fight. But when it actually comes down to fighting, you’re nowhere to be found. 

    Meat Pie 

    Just like the meat pie, you’re filled with many great talents. There’s nothing you can’t do, and that’s why you’re a hustler. Back in school, you were the one collecting all the awards on prize-giving day. You’re the type to have one thousand and one jobs while complaining about being stressed out, and your social life is almost non-existent. You have a Twitter account with 200 followers you only use once every three months. But you post everything going on in your life on your Whatsapp status. 

     ALSO READ: These 7 Things Will Slap Inside Meat Pie

    Scotch Egg

    You’re always saying you’re for the streets. Meanwhile, you catch feelings every two market days. Your timeline is filled with relationship posts, and you stop yourself from commenting “God when” on all of them. All the genders are scum, and you don’t want to chop breakfast, but you’re tired of being the one they give the phone to when it comes to taking couple pictures.

    Chicken Pie 

    You live a soft life. Your motto is “Any money wey I get like this, na enjoyment. No worry about my future.” By the week after payday, your money has finished, and you’re complaining about having just 1k in your account. But somehow, you still find ways to go out and chop life.

    Doughnut 

    You’re a chronic procrastinator. The sexual tension between you and doing things at the last minute is quite strong. You tell your boss, “You’ll get it tomorrow” when you haven’t even started the work. And you’ve been saying you’ll go to the gym for the past six months, but you don’t even remember where your gym clothes are.

    Cinnamon Roll 

    You’re a Nigerian parent. You go to bed at 9 p.m. and wake up at 4 a.m. Amongst your friends, you’re the one always advising everybody and watching out for them. When you all go out, you’re the designated driver who takes care of everyone while they get stupid drunk. To be honest, you’d have preferred to stay at home, video calling your long-distance lover.

    Sausage Roll

    You plan and organise every second of your life. And once anything doesn’t go according to plan, you start shedding tears. You’re constantly trying to get your friends and colleagues to be organised too, but they always end up frustrating you. You like to budget all your money, and half of it goes to savings and investments. You may be broke now, but you’ll be rich in the future, and that’s all that matters. You look at all your friends spending their money now and shake your head in sadness, thinking about how they’ll beg you when you’re rich.

    ALSO READ: What Does Your Favorite Beer Say About You?

  • Ask a Lagos woman what she wants to eat and her first answer is “I don’t know” Her next answer is, “… pasta.” I need us to take a break for a bit and try out other meals. Beginning with meals from our beloved Nigeria, I’ve listed eight foods from different tribes across the country below. Try them and your life will never be the same. 

    Ekpang Nkukwo

    Ekpang Nkukwo is cocoyam porridge, and it’s one of the traditional meals of the Akwa Ibom and Cross River State people. It’s made with freshly grated cocoyams wrapped in tender cocoyam or ugu leaves. It’s a meal that can be very stressful and time-consuming to make yourself. So take advantage of your next lunch/dinner and order ekpang, instead of ordering pasta for the third night in a row.

    Gbanunu soup

    Gbanunu soup is a traditional soup from Ondo state. There are no words to describe how delicious this soup is. As I’m thinking about it, I’m looking for where I can order a plate today. Eat gbanunu with pounded yam or pupuru (cassava flour) which tastes just as good as any other swallow out there. 

    Ji mmiri oku 

    You’re ordering pasta when there’s hot, sweet yam pepper soup? Ji Mmiri Oku is a traditional meal of the Igbo people, and it tastes amazing — Yam pepper soup that’ll take you to a different realm entirely. Eat it on a rainy, cold day and experience it hit you differently. 

    An interesting fact: in Igbo land, this is usually the first dish given to a woman immediately after childbirth. It’s mostly prepared by her mother, who comes to take care of her for the first few months after childbirth (Omugwo).

    RELATED: We Ranked Nigerian Pepper Soups From Worst to Best

    Abanga 

    Abanga is unripe plantain pottage. A traditional dish of the people of Brass and Nembe in Bayelsa state. Eat it with palm oil and pepper soup with an assortment of seafood inside, if you want maximum enjoyment.

    Miyan taushe soup

    Food from northern Nigeria is not as appreciated as it should be, and we need to change that because they taste great. Miyan Taushe (pumpkin soup) is one I wish I could eat as often as possible. There’s just something about the flavours in the soup that makes it taste as great as it does. It may have something to do with the combination of pumpkin and groundnut. The soup can be eaten with tuwo (rice fufu) or any other type of swallow. 

    Ukang ukom 

    Another plantain porridge meal, but Efik edition. If you ever go to a Calabar wedding, you’d find this meal being served there. It’s how Lagos people see Amala; a ceremony isn’t complete without Ukang Ukom on the menu. This shows you how special this food is and why more people need to eat it. I encourage (read as: order) you to enter a Calabar restaurant today and order this. Stop looking at the creamy pasta on that restaurant’s menu that will most likely only come with only two tiny pieces of chicken. 

    ALSO READ: These Are the Easiest Nigerian Soups to Make, According to Ifeoluwa 

    Afia efere soup

    My first experience with afia efere (white soup) was when I visited a friend’s house and found her eating it. It’s a soup popular with the Efik people. Since that day, I haven’t looked back. Eat afia efere today and neither will you.

    Ofe Onugbu 

    This is a very popular Igbo soup made from bitter leaf and cocoyam paste. It’s so interesting how something so delicious comes from something so bitter. I recommend this soup to anyone and everyone. To enjoy it well, eat it with very hot eba. 

    Now that Pasta has been dealt with, let’s look at 7 Meals You Can Eat on Sunday Instead of Rice

  • Nigeria is hard these days, and things are getting more expensive day by day, but man must chop. These nine recipes work with tight budgets and ingredients you already have in your kitchen or can easily be sourced.

    Plantain fufu 

    When you’re tired of eating staple swallows like eba, pounded yam, etc. It’s also a lot healthier and lighter. Enjoy with your favourite soups. 

    Find the recipe at Chef Lola’s Kitchen

    ALSO READ: What’s The Best Way To Eat Plantain? We Ranked Them All

     Garri chips 

    An interesting way to eat garri that I totally recommend. It’s not every time you have to drink garri and groundnut. Sometimes you have to try things outside the box. I doubted the recipe until I tried it, and I haven’t looked back since then.

    Find the recipe at Ife Grace

    Plantain and ice cream 

    I’m including this recipe here because I’ve tried it and it bangs. There’s a whole video of me trying it, and I was shocked at how good it tasted. The recipe isn’t complicated; just fry plantain and eat with vanilla ice cream. 

    Find the recipe on TikTok

    Spaghetti Jollof 

    I like to believe that spaghetti Jollof is a staple in every Nigerian home. In my house, we make it at least twice a week, because it’s easy to make and doesn’t cost much. But just because it’s quick to make doesn’t mean you should cook it anyhow. Here’s a recipe that’ll have you feeling bougie. 

    Get the recipe on Zikoko

    Agege bread French toast 

    I know this may sound strange, but the French toast slaps much harder if made with agege bread. It slaps even without nutmeg or vanilla extract.

    Get the recipe at Dobby’s Signature

    ALSO READ: Which Bread Is the GOAT? We Ranked Them All

    Egg toast 

    This is one of the ways Indians like to make bread and eggs. It’s sort of the same way you make French toast, but you add a few other ingredients like tomatoes, onions and pepper. 

    Get the recipe at India Healthy Recipes

    Yamarita without flour

    Most people include flour when making yamarita, but I just found out that you can do without the flour and it would still taste great. I’m very excited about this because I stopped making yamarita due to the high price of flour, but now I’m back. These are the things I love to see. 

    Get the recipe from Adanna’s kitchen

    Plantain chips 

    I genuinely thought the process of making plantain chips was a long, difficult one until I read the recipe. Please why have I been buying plantain chips instead of making them in my house? 

    Get the recipe at Precious Core 

    Jollof rice with corned beef

    The day my mother cooked this at home, I wondered what was going through her mind. Why did she think mixing rice and corned beef was a thing to do? Then I tried it and all my doubts went out the window. Try this recipe out today. 

    Get the recipe at Telande World 

    Also try out some of the chocolate recipes: 8 Homemade Chocolate Recipes for World Chocolate Day

  • If there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s that Nigerian soups are elite and amazingly diverse. Our soups deserve a place on the coat of arms — they’re that good.

    According to Ifeoluwa — a food blogger who believes food is an art that shouldn’t be limited to rules — one of the best things about Nigerian food has to be how easy it is to make these staple soups. Anyone can make them.

    1. Egusi soup

    This is one of the easiest Nigerian soups to make, but the method differs depending on tribe. 

    Ingredients for three to four servings

    • 1 cup of ground egusi
    • Assorted meat
    • Blended pepper mix (onions, red bell peppers and scotch bonnet peppers according to your tolerance) 
    • 2 -3 tablespoons of palm oil
    • 1 onion (sliced)
    • Half a cup of ground crayfish
    • 1 tablespoon of locust beans (optional)
    • 1 cup of chopped vegetables (ugu, uziza or bitter leaf)
    • Salt and seasoning

    Preparation

    I prefer the frying method, so here’s how it’s done:

    • Fry the onions and pepper mix in hot palm oil. You may add the locust beans at this point as well. Also, start boiling your meat in a separate pot, so it’s ready when you need them.
    • Mix the ground egusi and crayfish with a small cup of water into a bowl, just enough to form a thick paste, and add to the soup base. 
    • After frying the paste for a bit, add the boiled meat (including the stock), and allow it to cook well. Don’t forget to season to your taste.
    • Add your chopped vegetables of choice and allow to cook for about three minutes.
    • Enjoy your soup with whatever side you want. No stress.
    demarcated white party plate with egusi and meat in one section and wheat in the other section

    2. Okro soup (Ila Alasepo)

    Okro soup is another versatile meal that won’t have you spending time in the kitchen. 

    Ingredients for two servings

    • 1 small bowl of okro
    • Boiled meat and stock
    • Blended pepper mix 
    • 2 -3 tablespoons of palm oil
    • 1 tablespoon of locust beans (optional)
    • 1 cup of chopped vegetables (ugu or bitter leaf)
    • Salt and seasoning

    Preparation

    My trick for ensuring my okro soup stays slimy is adding a little water when blending, or using a food processor. Here’s my process:

    • Fry your pepper mix in hot palm oil and add your meat, stock and any other protein of choice, to form a soup base. Season to your preference, and let it cook for about ten minutes.
    • Add the okro. I like processing some of the okro to ensure it’s slimy, and chopping the rest to add a crunchy texture to the soup.  
    • Let it cook for about three minutes then include your chopped vegetables — ugu, bitter leaf or whatever you prefer. 
    • Your soup is ready!
    white ceramic serving bowl of okro & vegetable soup with multiple pieces of boiled chicken

    3. Ogbono soup

    Ogbono is another Nigerian fave that can be made in many ways. But good ogbono starts from your vendor — some ogbono soups taste soapy because the seeds weren’t great. It’s important to choose trusted vendors.

    Ingredients for three to four servings

    • Half a cup of ground ogbono
    • Assorted  meat
    • Half a cup of ground crayfish
    • 2 -3 tablespoons of palm oil
    • Scotch bonnet peppers
    • 1 cup of chopped vegetables
    • Salt and seasoning

    Preparation

    This is my trick to achieving smooth, tasty ogbono:

    • Mix the ground ogbono and hot palm oil into a paste, and set aside. This will help dissolve the particles until it’s smooth. 
    • Next, boil your meat and season appropriately with pepper, salt and stock cubes. Igbo Nigerians use a lot of crayfish, which gives the soup a great taste.
    • When properly cooked, add your ogbono paste. You might not need any more palm oil.
    • Pour in your chopped vegetables of choice. 
    • You’ll notice your soup is smooth and slimy, plus you didn’t spend all day in the kitchen.
    shallow brown ceramic bowl of ogbono soup with a lot of meat pieces

    RELATED: You Should Try These Nigerian Foods

    4. Efo riro

    Efo riro is a Yoruba staple, most people who grew up Yoruba already know how to make.

    Ingredients for two servings

    • One bunch of vegetables (efo shoko or efo tete)
    • Boiled meat and stock
    • De-boned panla fish
    • Half a cup of ground crayfish
    • Pepper mix
    • 1 onion (sliced)
    • 3-4 tablespoons of palm oil
    • 1 tablespoon of locust beans 
    • Salt and seasoning

    Preparation

    • Start by blending your pepper mix into a coarse texture.
    • Fry the blended pepper with hot palm oil, onions and locust beans.
    • Add crayfish, meat, the de-boned panla fish, seasoning and some water to cook it properly. Efo riro needs very little water.
    • For your vegetables, use efo shoko or efo tete. You may either blanch your vegetables or wash them at least thrice, before chopping them. Once this is done, pour into your soup base.
    • To retain the greenish colour of your vegetables, it’s advised to cook for just two to three minutes.
    white serving bowl of efo riro soup with a lot of meat pieces

    5. Ewedu

    Ewedu is pretty straightforward and typically paired with stew. It’s also a Yoruba staple. 

    Ingredients for two to three servings

    • One small bunch of ewedu leaves
    • 2-3 tablespoons of ground crayfish
    • 1 tablespoon of locust beans 
    • Salt and seasoning

    Preparation

    Blend the leaves before or after cooking. I prefer blending them after. 

    • Rinse the leaves and boil in water for a bit to make them tender. I like to cook it on low heat to ensure it stays slimy. 
    • Once tender, take them out and blend. Don’t blend for too long so it’s not super smooth.
    • Transfer back to the pot (on low heat), and add the locust beans, ground crayfish and seasoning to your taste. 
    • Your ewedu is ready!
    white spoon scooping steaming hot ewedu from an orange shallow cooking pot

    NEXT READ: These Nigerian Meals Are Perfect for the Rainy Season

  • Before you read this article, we want you to rid your mind of whatever you think you already know about food. This is not your regular food article; this is a fight for inclusion.  

    Owambes are great but everyone knows the highlight is the food, which is why no one forgets the party where they didn’t get served or the one with the unchewable meat. 

    If food is such a big deal, why do we limit ourselves to a few key players? Why not include more of these six Nigerian dishes on our party menu? All foods matter after all. 

    Ewa Agoyin

    Nigerians are finally beginning to see the light because a few owanbes already have this on the menu, but we can do better. Since people are always complaining about eating too much rice, it would be nice to have ewa agoyin and soft agege bread as an option.

    Indomie

    Nigerians are in a secret relationship with indomie because why is it okay to fall on it when sapa has you in a chokehold or when you’re too hungry or lazy to spend more than 15 minutes cooking, but draw the line when it’s time to show it off on your special day?

    They make it work in boarding schools, so clearly it can work for owanbe parries.

    RELATED: All The Many Times Indomie Saved Us  

    Bread and Tea

    The more you think about it, the more you see that bread and tea are perfect as both starter and main dish. Sometimes, people just want something light, so instead of having them pick at the food and end up wasting it, how about you try bread?

    Akara and Pap

    Before you raise your eyebrows just imagine this as a starter — you’re munching on hot akara and drinking your pap while waiting for your main dish. In this rainy weather, what could be better?

    You might end up falling asleep at the event, but even though! 

    Bole and Groundnut

    Have you ever had bole and groundnut before? The combination is orgasmic, so what are we saying?

    Garri Salad

    We’re not saying there’s anything wrong with salad, but we are Nigerians forgusake, we’re supposed to stand out and nothing does that better than infusing our salad with garri.

    The Nigerian dream

    ALSO READ: 13 Pictures Of Food That Will Make You Miss Owambes  

  • These days, I can’t eat yam pottage even if they pay me to eat it, but I loved the meal as a child. Apparently, I’m not the only one who liked eating certain meals as a child but ended up disliking them as an adult. We’re many, so here’s what some of us have to say.

    “I almost died from stealing meat”

    — Isaiah, 26 

    I hated the fact that my father used to get three pieces of meat while the children got only one. One day during the summer holiday, my mum cooked soup for dinner. After she had served everyone, she went outside to pack the clothes from the line. I stood up from the dining table and told my dad I was going to get water. The truth is, I was going to steal extra meat from the pot. What I didn’t know was that the soup was still very hot. At 10 years old, it was a struggle to reach into the pot and so it fell on me —a full hot pot of ogbono soup fell on top of my body. My mother beat the hell out of me for wasting the food she just cooked. The incident scarred me so much, so I’ve not eaten meat since then.

    “I can never drink tea again”

    — Tife, 23

    I used to like tea as a child. Now tea, coffee, hot chocolate and all their cousins disgust me. I now hate tea because I once left my cup of tea under the fan and it formed this really thick upper layer which was gross. I’ve not had tea in like ten years and I don’t intend to, ever again.

    “The way my brother ate peanut butter disgusted me”

    — Oretha, 25 

    I used to like peanut butter a lot when I was younger. I started hating it at 13 because I couldn’t stand the way my brother used to eat it. Every opportunity he got, he was eating peanut butter. He had it with bread, crackers, popcorn etc. It was too much abeg. He made eating peanut butter disgusting. How do you eat peanut butter and garri? Is that normal human being behaviour?

    “I think I overdid it with chocolate”

    — Ifoghale, 22 

    My dad came home from this long trip to Europe with a lot of chocolate. For months, I was eating chocolates that never seemed to end. I think I overdid it. Now I see chocolate and I’m like, “Meh. Not interested.”

    RELATED: Eat These Delicious Foods And You Won’t Gain Weight. We Promise

    “I prefer my garri without sugar now”

    — Asa’ah, 32

    I used to like garri with sugar as a child. Now if there’s sugar in garri, I won’t touch it with a 10-feet pole. Sugar in garri just doesn’t sit well with my stomach and taste buds anymore, and I don’t know why.

    “Picking fish bones pisses me off”

    — Pharoah, 28

    As a child, you could use boiled fish to kidnap me. Now, anywhere I see it, I run away. The reason I no longer like it may be petty, but fish has so many tiny bones and having to pick them off pisses me off. I cannot suffer to make money and still suffer to eat my food just because I’m picking bones out. I already pick out the onions in food, I can’t give myself more work with fish.

    “Coconut makes me sick”-

    — Dammy, 25 

    I hate everything made with coconut, except coconut rice, for some reason. One day in secondary school, I ate so much coconut candy I got nauseous. Since then, I cancelled coconut for life.  

    RELATED: 6 Nigerian Meals That Are Perfect for the Rainy Season

    “I ate pounded yam throughout my first year in Uni”

    — Mobolaji, 24

    Not that I liked pounded yam growing up, but it was something I could eat. Going to uni in Èkìtì changed everything. I ate it every other day in my first year, and by my second year, I stopped eating it entirely.

    “Beans almost made me take a shit in my pants”

    — Francis, 27 

    I liked eating beans until the day I was almost disgraced in school. They served beans during lunch and, I don’t know how they cooked it but it gave me the worst running stomach. It happened during extra-curricular while I was playing football. It hit me quick, the poo almost dropped in my boxers while I was running. That was the last time I went anywhere near beans. 

    “My mother used Jollof rice to apologise after beating me” 

    — Mary*, 30

    I hate jollof rice now because as a child, my mother would beat me when I misbehaved, and then use Jollof rice to apologise. She’d call me downstairs and put a plate of jollof rice and meat in front of me and walk away. That was her apology. Sometimes she cooked the food, sometimes she bought it. Jollof rice gives me PTSD.

    ALSO READ: 7 Childhood Snacks You’ll Miss if You Grew Up in Northern Nigeria