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  • 1. When you thought living alone meant turning up more, but this is you every weekend:

    Is this my life?

    2. When you fall ill and there’s no one there to pamper you.

    I miss my mummy.

    3. When you leave home and can’t remember if you turned off the iron or not.

    Should I go back?

    4. When you’re super hungry but too tired to actually cook.

    Epp me, plix.

    5. You, whenever a new bill comes:

    I am tired of being an adult.

    6. When you start to know the price of things you never cared about before.

    https://twitter.com/The1989grey/status/671667164194217985

    7. When you develop a strong relationship with Indomie.

    Oh #Indomie how I love thee !! U remain to be the best thing that ever happened to me after midnight 🍝💛 pic.twitter.com/utjK7dGe9j

    — Kal (@KultureKween) July 31, 2015

    8. When you start to appreciate Owambes more.

    https://twitter.com/Punthief/status/671643256959168512

    9. When it’s time to zip up your dress.

    The struggle.

    10. This perk:

    The only good thing about living alone is that all the meat in the pot belong to you.

    — desperate chicks’ waist (@duchesskk) December 1, 2015

    11. When you magically become a pro at budgeting.

    You can account for every single Naira.

    12. When you come back home and everything you own is exactly where you left it.

    Wonderful.

    13. …but the plates you left in the sink are still there too.

    Ugh!No!

    14. When you get to walk around naked all you want.

    The absolute best.

    15. When you realize how boring it actually is.

    The absolute worst.

    16. When it’s time to clean up the house.

    Ugh. Why am I so dirty?

    17. When it starts raining and you can’t remember if you closed your windows.

    Hay God!
  • Uniformed men and women have abandoned the comfort of their homes and families to stand at the war front against terrorism. They sacrificed blood, sweat and also put their lives on the line for so many people they have never met.

    As a show of gratitude for selfless service, the Anakle team initiated a Military appreciation campaign from the 4th to 10th of December, both on and off social media.

    We are using the Internet as a kick-off platform to appreciate our men/women in uniform. Theme: #ThankASoldier pic.twitter.com/6pyJ6K00NW

    — Anakle (@Anakle) December 1, 2015
    They launched the Thank A Soldier hashtag on Twitter and are topping that with an end-of-the-year party at Bonny camp.

    Nigerians on Twitter responded to the hashtag and tweeted their thanks. Here are some of them:

    https://twitter.com/BashirAhmaad/status/671720661463801856

    …Our relentless men in uniform.

    https://twitter.com/BashirAhmaad/status/672698153834033152

    Prayers were offered for them.

    May the good Lord continue to protect and bless our soldier as they continue to protect us with their own life.#ThankASoldier

    — Omoade (@victoradeyelu) December 6, 2015

    May Allah Be Your Guide. Nigerian Army! #ThankASoldier

    — Ashraf Babagana (@BabaganaAshraf) December 6, 2015

    Our security is courtesy of their efforts.

    https://twitter.com/akintonmide/status/671680873935319040

    When you are on bed snoring , He is there trying to protect you and yours for you… #ThankASoldier

    — Rufos (@Rufaimb) December 1, 2015

    Family and friends of the troops shared their thanks too.

    My lil cousin told me last night that he's been mobilized among a team of 10 to head to the NorthEast this month. 😑 #Thankasoldier

    — UgoBenz™ (@delurxe) December 1, 2015
    https://twitter.com/KizzOkey/status/673411529526657024

    On civilian harassment.

    As we say #ThankASoldier, @HQNigerianArmy @DefenceInfoNG should ensure our soldiers behave @chairmanNHRC should pic.twitter.com/FN6IgAtRLf

    — #FreeMubarakBala #justiceformubarakbala (@SienceTalk) December 6, 2015

    Remembering fallen soldiers.

    #ThankASoldier.
    Thanks #ChimdaHedima.
    Never forgotten. A hero in life & death. pic.twitter.com/cIvKh2JtiI

    — Adeolu (@MrAshaye) December 4, 2015
    https://twitter.com/CallMe_Meerah/status/671964092693803008

    Politics came to play as usual but the tweets were slammed.

    This is not APC, PDP or "fencists". We cannot afford divisions. BH is united against us. I hope we all find ways to support #ThankASoldier

    — Funmi Iyanda (@Funmilola) December 2, 2015

    And the thanks were well received

    At 12 points yesterday, I showed #ThankASoldier tweets to soldiers. They were very happy. These little things matter pic.twitter.com/aom0k07snh

    — Editi Effiòng (@EditiEffiong) December 3, 2015

    …They took cool selfies too.

    The friendliest soldier I've ever met. Thanks for the welcome to Dodan Barracks. #ThankASoldier pic.twitter.com/bil7ZhqSSn

    — Editi Effiòng (@EditiEffiong) December 4, 2015

    On my #ThankASoldier visit to Dodan Barracks! Selfie with the baddest soldier girl pic.twitter.com/QdS599VVs8

    — Editi Effiòng (@EditiEffiong) December 4, 2015

    Salute!

    To the men and woman serving in the Nigerian military, we say thank you. #ThankASoldier pic.twitter.com/Ynel7BGYwp

    — Editi Effiòng (@EditiEffiong) December 4, 2015

    #ThankASoldier with a salute today. pic.twitter.com/MiPcwMXhqw

    — Chidi Okereke (@Chydee) December 4, 2015
    Featured Image By Chine Ezekwesili.
  • They haven’t been covered much in the foreign mainstream media but Boko Haram have been terrorising Africans with devastating, widespread and long-lasting consequences.

    Responsible for more deaths than ISIS.

    According to the Global Terrorism Report, they have overtaken ISIS as the world’s deadliest terrorist group. It should be noted that in March this year, they pledged allegiance to ISIS. The two groups are responsible for more than half of all terrorist attacks in the world.

    Who are they?

    Boko Haram promotes a version of Islam which makes it “haram”, or forbidden, for Muslims to take part in any political or social activity associated with Western society. This includes voting in elections, wearing shirts and trousers or receiving a secular education. Boko Haram regards the Nigerian state as being run by non-believers, even when the country had a Muslim president – and it has extended its military campaign by targeting neighbouring states.

    800,000 people have fled their homes since June.

    Since the beginning of Boko Haram’s attacks in 2009, 2.1 million people have been forced to leave their homes with a staggering 800,000 having fled between June – September 2015.

    An estimated 1,100 schools have been destroyed this year alone.

    The UN have stated that over a thousand schools have been destroyed in Cameroon, Chad, Niger and Nigeria in 2015 so far.

    This is a list of their major attacks so far in 2015:

    Although the figures of deaths are numerical, please remember that these are people who had jobs, lives, families, dreams, hobbies, just like you. They are more than numbers on a screen. January 3 – 7th: The town of Baga in the north-eastern state of Borno is attacked.  Bodies lay strewn on Baga’s streets with as many as 2,000 people having been killed. January 9th: Following the Boko Haram massacre, 7,300 flee to neighbouring Chad while over 1,000 are trapped on the island of Kangala in Lake Chad. January 18th: Boko Haram militants kidnap 80 people and kill three others from villages in north Cameroon. January 28th: Boko Haram fighters killed 40 people while on a rampage in Adamawa State. February 15th: A suicide bomber kills 16 and wounds 30 in the Nigerian city of Damaturu. February 20th: Boko Haram militants kill 34 people in attacks across Borno State and 21 from the town of Chibok. February 24th: Two suicide bombers kill at least 27 people at bus stations in Potiskum and Kano. March 7th: Five suicide bomb blasts leave 54 dead and 143 wounded in Maiduguri. March 18th:  A mass grave of 90 people is discovered in the city of Damasak . March 29th: Voting in the Nigerian general election is delayed for a second day. 25 people have died in Boko Haram attacks. June 12th: Several days of nighttime raids on six remote villages that left at least 37 people dead in Northeastern Nigeria June 16th:  Twin Suicide Bomb attacks in Chad capital killed 24 people and wounded more than 100. June 17th: Bombs found at Boko Haram camp kills 63 people in Nigeria June 23rd: Twin female suicide bomb attacks at busy fish market in Maiduguri kill 30 people. June 28th: Five dead in suicide blast at Nigeria hospital June 30th: Militants attacked Muslim residents after they had finished prayers, leaving 48 men dead. July 1st: Attacks on Muslims praying in Mosques before breaking their Ramadan fast kills  97 people in Kukawa. July 2nd:  Two female suicide bombers attack a village in Borno state killing at least 10 people July 3rd: Militants slit the throats of 11 people July 3rd: Several suicide bombers killed dozens of people in Zabarmari village. July 7th: Bomb attack kills at least 25 people and wounded 32 others in northern Nigeria’s Zaria city July 11th: At least 14 people were killed in a suicide bomb attack at a crowded market in Chad’s capital  July 17th: Suicide bombs have killed more than 60 people in multiple blasts in the north-eastern towns of Gombe and Damaturu. July 22nd: A double suicide attack killed at least 11 people in the far north of Cameroon July 25th: A child and a middle-aged woman detonated suicide vests in two separate attacks, killing 34 and wounding over 100 people Aug 2nd: 13 people killed and 27 injured in an attack on Malari village in northeast Nigeria’s Borno state Aug 3rd: Eight people were killed and about 100 others were kidnapped in an overnight raid on a village near Cameroon’s northern border Aug 5th: Militants behead a policeman in Nigeria Aug 7th: Boko Haram attacks on two villages in Yobe kill nine people Aug 11th: A bomb attack on a packed market in north-eastern Nigeria killed about 50 people. Aug 17th: Insurgents raided a village in Borno state, Nigeria, near the border with Niger, killing 7 people Aug 18th: Up to 150 people drowned in a river or were shot dead fleeing Boko Haram gunmen who raided a remote village in Nigeria’s north-eastern Yobe state Aug 23rd: Army Chief’s convoy attacked, 11 people killed, 5 injured Aug 25th: Extremists killed 28 people during attacks on remote farming and fishing villages in northeast Nigeria. Aug 30th: 56 villagers are killed in in Baanu village of Nganzai  Sept 1st: Gunmen on horseback kill 79 in trio of attacks Sept 3rd: Militants killed about 30 people and wounded 145 others in attacks on a market and infirmary in northern Cameroon Sept 20th: More than 100 people were killed in northern Nigeria in a quick succession carefully coordinated bombings Sept 24th: 15 people killed in an attack by Boko Haram militants on a border village in south-eastern Niger Sept 27th: 9 people killed in attacks on Mailari Village  Sept 27th: Militants attacked the town N’gourtoi, a Nigerien village, killing the village head and 14 other civilians. Oct 1st: An attack on a village in south-eastern Niger killed two soldiers Oct 3rd: 15 killed in bombings in Nigeria’s capital city, Abuja Oct 4th: Militants killed three civilians and a soldier in a double suicide attack in Niger Oct 6th: 11 Chadian soldiers killed in a surprise attack near Lake Chad Oct 10: Five suicide bombers targeted a market and a refugee camp in Chad killing 36 people and wounding 56 others. Oct 6th: Suicide attacks in northern Nigeria kill at least 17 people, injuring 11 Oct 7th: At least 12 worshipers have been killed in set of twin suicide attacks on a mosque in Borno State Oct 22nd: 20 people were shot dead outside the Jingalta village Borno state, Nigeria Oct 23rd: 23 people were killed in a bombing in a mosque in Borno State Oct 28th: Thirteen people were killed and three injured in an attack on village in south-east Niger  Oct 29th: Many killed and houses burnt to the ground in Bara town of Gulani  Nov 8th: A twin suicide bombing near Lake Chad on Sunday killed two people and wounded 14 others Nov 11th: 25 dead in raid on a village in southern Niger  Nov 12th: The government of Chad has imposed a state of emergency on the northern region by Lake Chad Nov 17th: At least 32 people have been killed and 80 injured in a night-time suicide bomb attack at a truck stop in Yola, Adamawa state, Nigeria Written by Zikoko Contributor Xan Oku
  • Although we live in a democratic country, it appears the ruling government might try to encroach on our freedom of speech.

    A new social media bill that could potentially censor free speech on social media platforms has been proposed by the House of Senate.

    According to the bill, anyone who writes anything negative against somebody else (most probably politicians) will face jail time – two years to be exact.

    How dare they? Can someone please tell them that it is not allowed.

    Nigerians on Twitter have expressed their thoughts on the issue via #NoToSocialMediaBill. Here are some of them:

    On fighting for our rights:

    Everyone who values his or her right must express a resounding #NoToSocialMediaBill

    — JJ. Omojuwa (@Omojuwa) December 2, 2015

    For Ben Bruce to speak out:

    https://twitter.com/AndyMadaki/status/672391907528605696

    On how it will affect us:

    My people! My people! They must not pass that bill o. Even your business that you are promoting online will suffer #NoToSocialMediaBill

    — JJ. Omojuwa (@Omojuwa) December 3, 2015

    This mathematical calculation:

    https://twitter.com/ebuka_akara/status/672336016280330240

    Our keyboards as tools of expression:

    https://twitter.com/Skiwo/status/672311879029686272

    On what will happen if the bill is passed:

    I am 100% sure that we will close down d Senate & send all Senators back to where they belong if this bill is passed #NoToSocialMediaBill

    — Ali G (@aligthebaptist) December 2, 2015

    This person being a devil’s advocate:

    To publish a petition you will need to an affidavit…Who issues affidavit, govt. I just want to make common sense #NoToSocialMediabill

    — Rex Showunmi (@remirex) December 2, 2015

    Comparing the previous government to the current one:

    https://twitter.com/owuyi/status/672153384242270209

    A gentle reminder of what country this is:

    https://twitter.com/ebuka_akara/status/672152442105176065

    Reminding the Senate who’s really in charge:

    https://twitter.com/Lilianne_2014/status/672144747348275201

    Democracy and freedom of expression must work together:

    https://twitter.com/owuyi/status/672147023156654081
  • Just because Connect is all the rage!
  • A day ago, it was reported that a number of Nigerians (48, 50 or 500 depending on who you asked) were deported from the UK, due to immigration related offences. These are the various reactions.

    When the person that promised to file UK visa for you is part of those that were deported.

    When the person that promised to file UK visa for you is part of the 500 Nigerians that were deported #LilMamaCrying pic.twitter.com/oo4phjvlLk

    — ✨ (@Chidinma_xo) November 25, 2015

    When you’re single and ready to mingle.

    https://twitter.com/UNCLE_AJALA/status/669596014689525760

    When your among the Nigerians that were deported.

    https://twitter.com/mikerrezzy/status/669579273183862786

    When you discover your one time best friend that forgot you as soon as he got to the UK is part of them.

    https://twitter.com/ThatNsukkaBoy/status/669554936645054465

    When you’re expecting some people to blame Buhari.

    500 Nigerians deported. . .
    Let me fold my arms and watch how the Wailers will link it to Buhari & blame him for it.

    — Plangkat (@peekaymila) November 25, 2015

    When they do blame Buhari.

    Some Nigs blaming PMB on deportation of 500 Nigerians , is common sense so that scarce , I thought Ben Bruce is sharing common sense

    — OSINACHI 👳🏿 (@BITO_WALE) November 25, 2015

    When you know that there are probably even more immigrants over there.

    The 500 Nigerians deported from the UK are only out of another 28,000+. Embarrassing stuff.

    — JJ. Omojuwa (@Omojuwa) November 25, 2015

    When you’re just being a monitoring spirit.

    https://twitter.com/TWEET_BENDER/status/669519062922326016

    When you’re still expecting the deportees to come back with something.

    Those 500 Nigerians are forming stranded……

    Lagosians are waiting for them to bring out dollars!

    — Chima 🎨 (@chimaperson) November 25, 2015

    When you get this advice…

    Babes, beware of- Foot d bill this season & I'll pay back once I get to d UK by Jan. Na lie! Don't fall Maga. UK just deported 500 Nigerians

    — 'Yomi Adebayo (@yomisaint) November 25, 2015

    And this one.

    Go and pick your family members from the airport o…The 500 Nigerians deported from UK sun iso suna airport

    — 埃及排名 (@iAm_Mikeraj) November 26, 2015

    When you think about what’s going to happen.

    https://twitter.com/UNCLE_AJALA/status/669598385280851968

    When you wonder about Buhari.

    No Light

    No Fuel

    Boko Haram on Rampage

    500 Nigerians deported from the Uk

    Don't we all like Buhari's Body Language?

    — OMOTOLA 🇳🇬🇺🇸 (@MISTER_PANACHE) November 25, 2015

    When you welcome them home.

    Since nobody is sensitive enough 2 say dis let me just say Welcome home to d 500 Nigerians, it's a hot time in d year pls manage @odia5th

    — Ivanovovich (@odia5th) November 25, 2015

    When you emphatize with their plight.

    Deportation is inhumane. If you've been in a plane with someone being deported you won't make jokes of the 500 Nigerians brought home today

    — Victor Owo (@owo747) November 25, 2015
  • 1. When you’re in the middle of ironing for the next day and the light goes off.

    Well, there goes my responsible look.

    2. When your football team is just about to score and they take the light.

    The god of football will punish you.

    3. When you’ve not had light for three days and NEPA flashes the light for 3 seconds.

    OH MY GOD!

    4. When they cut your light but you’ve paid your bills.

    Wait, what is happening?!

    5. Then you complain and they ask you to pay to fix it.

    Are these ones not foolish like this?

    6. When your house has an electric fault and you’re the only one who doesn’t have light.

    It hurts so bad.

    7. When your phone is at 10% and they bring the light…then they take it.

    You horrible people!

    8. When you’re cooking with electricity and the light goes off.

    Soggy plantain is still plantain.

    9. When your prepaid units run out in the middle of the night.

    Welcome to sweat station.

    10. When NEPA brings light that’s too high and it blows all your gadgets.

    NEPA, y u no get sense?

    11. Or it’s too low and you can’t even see anything.

    Well, small victories.

    12. When it’s bill period and you suddenly start having light.

    This isn’t life.

    13. Then the bill comes, and the light you’ve had and the amount on the bill don’t add up.

    Please, don’t be stupid.

    14. When they keep bringing and taking the light and you have to keep putting your gen on and off.

    Make a decision.

    15. When they bring light at every other time EXCEPT when you really need it.

    Why am I not surprised?

    16. When you leave the AC on the highest forever because you don’t know when they will take the light.

    THIS IS SPARTA!
  • A few weeks back we shared these 14 beautiful pictures of Northern Nigeria which featured some of the beauty in Yola and Bauchi. And we’ve got more images today! This time highlighting the beauty of Kano.

    Zikoko contributor, Kolapo Oladapo shared some of his shots from Kano with us:

    1. This section of the palace of the Emir.

    2. The path to the fourth gate of the palace.

    3. This picture of a young boy tending to his horse.

    4. What a beauty!

    5. A female baby horse being tended to be this young boy.

    6. All the suya you could ever want!

    7. This picture of the suya village.

    8. Hungry yet?

    9. This colourful image of fresh food in a market.

    10. The Crescent Secondary school’s football pitch.

    11. Young men enjoying a football game on the polo grounds.

    12. A man in a football jersey enjoying a game of polo.

    13. This shot of a Fulani kid.

    14. Fulani kids happily riding their bicycle.

    15. A Fulani house.

    16. This image of the Kano streets.

    17. This shot of the Ado Bayero Mall.

    All images by Kolapo Oladapo. Got any beautiful shots of Nigeria? Share them with us!
  • 1. The Nigerian sandwich starter pack:

    2. The ‘survive in traffic’ starter pack:

    3. The GEJ starter pack:

    4. The Ikoyi husband starter pack:

    5. The Nigerian music video starter pack:

    6. The Owambe starter pack:

    7. The Agbero starter pack:

    8. The Nigerian boarder starter pack:

    9. The cheating Nigerian husband starter pack:

    10. The Nigerian barber starter pack:

    11. The Unilag guy starter pack:

    12. The Unilag babe starter pack:

    13. The Nigerian police starter pack:

    14. The happiness starter pack:

    15. The security guard starter pack:

  • You travelled for business? Pleasure? It doesn’t quite matter which. All that matters is that you temporarily escaped the mad house of your beloved Nigeria.  Temporarily. And now, it is finally time to go back. Long sigh.  We know exactly how you feel. Because every time you’ve had to go back, you are like:

    1. Kai, it’s time to go already?

    Abroad, I’m gonna miss you.

    2. You are already thinking about your next trip.

    3. Then you spy all those Nigerians at the boarding gate…

    Supporters club of life and destiny.

    4. And you’re real happy to hear folk speaking a familiar language.

    Doesn’t matter if you are Yoruba and they are speaking Tiv, Naija knows Naija.

    5. Until the familiar Nigerian energy starts making you tired inside.

    Therefore, Nigerians are this guy pic.twitter.com/4YJYQ70HDf

    — Bankole Oluwafemi (@MrBankole) November 7, 2015
    Nigerian reiatsu is on permanent Bankai.

    6. And when one of them inevitably begins to mix it up with the flight officials, you are like..

    7. Because, right now…

    8. But when you run into the Nigerian celebrity who’s traveling back on the same flight as you, you remember your roots once more.

    No one is above famzing.

    9. That time when the plane touched down in Lagos, and everyone clapped for the pilot.

    Jesus took the wheel.

    10. When your luggage that is filled with abroad shopping appears not to be coming onto the conveyor belt in baggage claim.

    Blood of Jesus!

    11. Praying in tongues so the customs people don’t check your bags and discover all the shopping you brought back from Dubai.

    Tax is not my portion, IJN!

    12. You are frantically looking for Naira to settle the airport lackeys, but you mistakenly pull out hard currency.

    Choi! Na you mess up.

    13. When someone asks you how you are leaving the airport so they can hitch a ride.

    Look at my passport very well, I am Nigerian, not a Samaritan.

    14. When your relatives and friends who came to pick you up are asking “what did you bring for us?”

    My friend, better enter duty free and buy KitKat, now now.

    15. When you step out of departures and are greeted by that blast of hot, humid air.

    Welcome back to Nigeria. Driver, please turn the air conditioning all the waaaay up.

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