Nigeria | Page 216 of 223

1. You, when the harmattan first crept in to replace the insane heat.

You didn’t realize what was coming.
2. Till it came in full force and the dust rolled up like:

The first disadvantage set in.
3. When this became your how-to guide to bathing:

This is basically an art-form at this point.
4. You, everytime that cold water touches your back.

When cold water touches your back on a harmattan morning

pic.twitter.com/hlTF6ePpL6
— 🎵 (@TloffTloff) August 24, 2015

5. Whenever you forget to use lip balm before leaving your house.

My lips are cursing me right now.
6. Your face, when you don’t use any cream.

The struggle.
7. When you go somewhere and the AC is on full blast.

You people should calm down na.
8. Your legs, if you don’t douse them in Vaseline.

This ashy life.
9. When the people in the north hear the rest of us complaining.

See these ones.
10. You, before going out vs. You, after going out.

Harmattan Season

Before u go out VS after u go out pic.twitter.com/5CrFUTw51s
— Plangkat (@peekaymila) December 2, 2015

11. When you have to wake up in the middle of the night to put off your fan or AC.

Cold will not kill me today.
12. You are tired of seeing people dressing up like it’s winter.

Where do you think you are?
13. When the sun comes out and you can’t tell if you’re actually hot or cold.

My body is confused.
14. Trying to clean up during harmattan.

Let me clean off this dust, visitors will arrive in the next 30 mins

Harmattan: pic.twitter.com/zkqxs2drKX
— Bouff Daddy ™️ (@__Abdulmaleek) December 5, 2015

15. You, waking up hoping it’s finally over, but realizing it isn’t.

Can this thing just end?
Being gorgeous and outright funny is one thing.

Making near perfect impressions of people is another level of awesomeness.

https://www.instagram.com/p/_ou9iGR8ps/?taken-by=maraji_
Meet Gloria Oloruntobi, a Covenant University student who has unlocked all known levels of lip syncing and impression making on Instagram. She makes her lip sync videos via the musical.ly app.
Her rap game is on point.

https://www.instagram.com/p/_rJwJ_R8vI/?taken-by=maraji_

https://www.instagram.com/p/-vh3EWx8hd/?taken-by=maraji_

This is awesome.

https://www.instagram.com/p/-08c6Ix8hF/?taken-by=maraji_

This one about approaching a woman.

https://www.instagram.com/p/_cib8nR8gg/?taken-by=maraji_

..And these absolutely hilarious videos.

https://www.instagram.com/p/_W87XwR8ku/?taken-by=maraji_

https://www.instagram.com/p/_KcTFzR8lg/?taken-by=maraji_

https://www.instagram.com/p/9it59PR8u8/?taken-by=maraji_

Her personal favorite from 2015.

My best video 2015 #hmmmm 😋 pic.twitter.com/ApLAaafi1y
— Gloria Olorunto (@Maraji_) December 31, 2015

The one she posted for independence celebration in 2015.

https://www.instagram.com/p/8S5jGOR8ob/?taken-by=maraji_

She nailed this one of Siri perfectly.

https://www.instagram.com/p/_v6WbUx8lr/?taken-by=maraji_

..And Frank Donga too.

https://www.instagram.com/p/-rFDRix8mb/?taken-by=maraji_

Which one of them is your favorite?

You can check out more of her videos on her instagram page @maraji_. Featured Image credit: @maraji_
1. When it finally hits you that the holiday is over.

Just like that?
2. When you could have sworn the holiday was longer.

https://twitter.com/MissIgho/status/683557659941957632

3. When you remember you’ll soon have to see your annoying boss/lecturer.

No, God.
4. You, trying to find where all the holiday went.

I could have sworn I had 1 week left.
5. When you start thinking about all the turn up you won’t be able to do again.

Na wa oh!
6. You, trying to go back to your old sleep schedule.

God, epp me.
7. When you remember that people are coming back from the village so traffic will suck again.

The thing can pain.
8. You, already waiting for the next public holiday like:

I’m already tired, please.
9. When you finally settle down and really check your account balance.

Hay God! Was I robbed?
10. Returning to work/school on the first day like:

Can I just go back home?
11. You, waiting for January salary/allowance like:

How far that credit alert though?
12. When someone welcomes you with “you’ve added oh!”.

What happened to “hello”?
13. When you finally check your weight for the first time after the holiday.

Hian! Did I eat a human being?
14. When coworkers /classmates you barely talk to start asking what you brought for them.

Is this one drunk?
15. You, during the holiday vs. You, one month after resuming work/school.
1. When your parents wake you up for cross-over service.

Can I sleep?
2. Your mates turning up in the club vs. You turning up in church.

3. You, trying to stay awake for the entire thing.

The realest struggle.
4. When sleep starts taking over and the usher tries to wake you up.

Just don’t.
5. When the pastor says this is the year you’ll find a spouse, but he said that last year too.

Na so.
6. When the pastor tells you to write what you want God to do for you in the coming year.

Can’t even dull it.
7. When you see that church member that only comes for cross-over night.

See your life.
8. You, ignoring all the ‘Happy New Year’ texts and calls.

Don’t these ones have church.
9. When you finally enter into the new year and the turn up intensifies.

All the sleep will clear at this point.
10. You, returning home after the service.

HELP!
1. On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me: A large bag of Basmati.

2. On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me: 2 nkwobi bowls.

3. On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me: 3 live hens.

4. On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: 4 cans of beer.

5. On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: 5 golden rings (because who doesn’t love gold?)

6. On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: 6 weaves for fixing.

7. On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me: 7 days off, travelling.

8. On the eight day of Christmas my true love gave to me: 8 vouchers; shopping.

9. On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: 9 drummers drumming.

10. On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: 10 kegs with fuel in.

11. On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me: 11 yards worth sewing.

12. On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: 12 months free browsing.

Oya, sing it: On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: 12 months free browsing, 11 yards worth sewing, 10 kegs with fuel in, 9 drummers drumming, 8 vouchers; shopping, 7 days off, travelling, 6 weaves for fixing, 5 golden rings, 4 cans of beer, 3 live hens, 2 nkowbi bowls, and a large bag of Basmati.
‘Tis the season to be jolly! Christmas is in two days and Father Christmas is already in town. Whether you’ve been naughty or nice all year, he has something for all of you! But first, incase you’re wondering who Father Christmas is, he is Nigeria’s Santa Claus.

But are they the same? Nigerians say they’re not.

https://twitter.com/zikokomag/status/679591184558342144

But seriously though, Father Christmas does certain things that makes us go like…

Check them out.
1. This one with a pot belly and a huge bum. We’re sure he can twerk!

2. This one that is trying so hard to be white and failing woefully!

3. This Muslim Father Christmas who came bearing gifts!

4. This one that probably lost his sleigh.

5. This one was probably stuck in traffic and decided to take a quicker route.

6. This faceless Santa.

7. Another faceless one with a grown man on his lap.

8. This Babalawo Christmas. Could he be Santa or satan?

9. This one that is just chilling.

10. This Santa band.

11. This one with Brazilian weave beard.

12. This Santa is husband material!
1. When you tell people you don’t celebrate Christmas they be like

What type of childhood did you have?
2. When you say you still believe in Jesus though

Is that a thing?
3. You, as a child when you watched other kids wearing their fine clothes on Christmas day

I’ll have my revenge during Eid.
4. When people expect you to know every Christmas carol

Really?
5. When others are getting into the Christmas mood

why are you people so happy all of a sudden?
6. Preparing for all the awesome events during the period like

My body is ready!
7. When your boss wants you to work during the holidays because you don’t celebrate Christmas

Let’s not be unfortunate please.
8. While others are getting turned up on the 25th

Wake me up on the 27th.
9. You, plotting graphs on how to devour all the plates of jollof you will receive

10. When the food finally arrives with big pieces of chicken

You guys are the MVP sha.
1. When you have to become their personal driver.

“Oya! Take me to the market.”
2. You, trying to find some privacy.

The absolute worst.
3. When they always manage to find something to lecture you about.

Hay God!
4. When your friends that live alone start complaining about bills.

Who sent you?
5. You, when your friends say they want to visit.

Uhm. Maybe some other time.
6. When they start complaining about you always being in your room.

Can I be, please?
7. When you try to form adult for them.

“Under my roof?”
8. When they start inventing weird chores for you to do.

“Clean the back of the TV and under the car.”
9. When they keep shouting your name without ever saying what they want.

What is it sef?
10. You, when they are sleeping vs. Them, when you are sleeping.

It can pain.
11. When you stay out late without calling them.

“You will come home and meet me.”
12. When they call you to get something that is right beside them.

Na wa oh!
13. When they send you to bring something and you say you couldn’t find it.

“If I go and I find it…”
14. When every small thing you do starts to annoy them.

It’s like it is time to move out.
15. When you’re out with your guys and they call you to start coming home.

See ehn, this one hurts.
Imagine you take an interstate flight as you go home for Christmas and your plane lands safely.

You thank the Almighty for making it possible.

Then you get ready to disembark.

Only to be told that the passenger stairway has malfunctioned and you won’t be able to leave immediately.

What would you do?

Well these Nigerians who chartered a plane definitely had a really practical solution. They used a ladder!

Aero Contractors had a problem with their stairway and apparently didn’t have a spare.

Passengers who arrived the Abubakar Tafawa Balewa International Airport were forced to leave the aircraft via a makeshift ladder.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbI0XCGzvVI

Now other countries are making fun of the “giant of Africa” for this.

Nigerians are asking, “Where is the Minister of Aviation?”

This is disappointing!
[zkk_poll post=14527 poll=content_block_standard_format_11]
1. When the usher tries to lead you to the front seat.

That what happened?
2. You, if you miss praise and worship.

It can pain.
3. When you hear “I don’t want to take too much of your time”.

We will be here all day.
4. When the pastor tells you to turn to your neighbour, but your neighbour turns to someone else.

Wow. What a betrayal.
5. You, when the pastor says a prayer for financial breakthrough.

AMENNNNNNNNN!!!!
6. When you hear “after the service the youths should stay behind”.

Nope.
7. You, when an usher tells you to stand up during prayer.

Why?
8. When the pastor says “welcome 3 people” and a 4th person approaches you.

I’m done. Thanks.
9. How everyone looks at you when you’re a first timer:

What na?
10. How you feel when you’re the first timer:

Well, this is awkward.
11. You, when you hear “it’s offering time”.

Where did I put that money?
12. When you’re broke and you hear “second offering”.

Ah. Not today.
13. When an usher tells you to put your phone away.

As my bible is now inside it ehn?
14. When the pastor is preaching about immorality and keeps looking in your direction.

Hay! What did God tell pastor now?
15. When you open the bible passage before the pastor starts reading.

As a boss.
16. When the pastor says “hold someone’s hand and pray” but you can’t find anyone to pair up with.

Uhm. Now what?
17. When you hear “we will be rounding up shortly”.

You said that an hour ago.

1. You, when the harmattan first crept in to replace the insane heat.

2. Till it came in full force and the dust rolled up like:

3. When this became your how-to guide to bathing:

4. You, everytime that cold water touches your back.

5. Whenever you forget to use lip balm before leaving your house.

6. Your face, when you don’t use any cream.

7. When you go somewhere and the AC is on full blast.

8. Your legs, if you don’t douse them in Vaseline.

9. When the people in the north hear the rest of us complaining.

10. You, before going out vs. You, after going out.

11. When you have to wake up in the middle of the night to put off your fan or AC.

12. You are tired of seeing people dressing up like it’s winter.

13. When the sun comes out and you can’t tell if you’re actually hot or cold.

14. Trying to clean up during harmattan.

15. You, waking up hoping it’s finally over, but realizing it isn’t.

Being gorgeous and outright funny is one thing.

Making near perfect impressions of people is another level of awesomeness.

Her rap game is on point.

This is awesome.

This one about approaching a woman.

..And these absolutely hilarious videos.

Her personal favorite from 2015.

The one she posted for independence celebration in 2015.

She nailed this one of Siri perfectly.

..And Frank Donga too.

Which one of them is your favorite?

1. When it finally hits you that the holiday is over.

2. When you could have sworn the holiday was longer.

3. When you remember you’ll soon have to see your annoying boss/lecturer.

4. You, trying to find where all the holiday went.

5. When you start thinking about all the turn up you won’t be able to do again.

6. You, trying to go back to your old sleep schedule.

7. When you remember that people are coming back from the village so traffic will suck again.

8. You, already waiting for the next public holiday like:

9. When you finally settle down and really check your account balance.

10. Returning to work/school on the first day like:

11. You, waiting for January salary/allowance like:

12. When someone welcomes you with “you’ve added oh!”.

13. When you finally check your weight for the first time after the holiday.

14. When coworkers /classmates you barely talk to start asking what you brought for them.

15. You, during the holiday vs. You, one month after resuming work/school.

1. When your parents wake you up for cross-over service.

2. Your mates turning up in the club vs. You turning up in church.

3. You, trying to stay awake for the entire thing.

4. When sleep starts taking over and the usher tries to wake you up.

5. When the pastor says this is the year you’ll find a spouse, but he said that last year too.

6. When the pastor tells you to write what you want God to do for you in the coming year.

7. When you see that church member that only comes for cross-over night.

8. You, ignoring all the ‘Happy New Year’ texts and calls.

9. When you finally enter into the new year and the turn up intensifies.

10. You, returning home after the service.

1. On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me: A large bag of Basmati.

2. On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me: 2 nkwobi bowls.

3. On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me: 3 live hens.

4. On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: 4 cans of beer.

5. On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: 5 golden rings (because who doesn’t love gold?)

6. On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: 6 weaves for fixing.

7. On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me: 7 days off, travelling.

8. On the eight day of Christmas my true love gave to me: 8 vouchers; shopping.

9. On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: 9 drummers drumming.

10. On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: 10 kegs with fuel in.

11. On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me: 11 yards worth sewing.

12. On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: 12 months free browsing.

But are they the same? Nigerians say they’re not.

But seriously though, Father Christmas does certain things that makes us go like…

1. This one with a pot belly and a huge bum. We’re sure he can twerk!

2. This one that is trying so hard to be white and failing woefully!

3. This Muslim Father Christmas who came bearing gifts!

4. This one that probably lost his sleigh.

5. This one was probably stuck in traffic and decided to take a quicker route.

6. This faceless Santa.

7. Another faceless one with a grown man on his lap.

8. This Babalawo Christmas. Could he be Santa or satan?

9. This one that is just chilling.

10. This Santa band.

11. This one with Brazilian weave beard.

12. This Santa is husband material!

1. When you tell people you don’t celebrate Christmas they be like

2. When you say you still believe in Jesus though

3. You, as a child when you watched other kids wearing their fine clothes on Christmas day