• 1. When you get to Yaba and see the queue for the shuttle.

    What is all this?

    2. You, passing Love Garden at night, looking at all the couples like:

    Later you’ll be crying that you’re pregnant.

    3. When you see people dressing for lectures like it’s Lagos fashion week.

    Please go and collect your prize from the Dean.

    4. How the library looks around exam time:

    Ah! These many students even know where the library is.

    5. When NEPA waits till exam time to become completely useless.

    How will I now read, ehn?

    6. When you see people using street lamp and GTB ATM light to do overnight reading.

    You people are the real students oh!

    7. How Ampitheatre looks during exam prayers:

    See all of them. Na by this one?

    8. When your squatter brings their own squatters.

    You must actually be possessed.

    9. When porters come and start checking for squatters in the middle of the night.

    Hay God. What is it?

    10. When one small celebrity comes around and you see people throwing their home training in the dustbin.

    Is it Dammy Krane that is doing you people like this?

    11. When you go to Iya Moria and dodo has finished.

    Why do bad things always happen to good people?

    12. When someone jumps the long queue in Shop 10 and starts shouting “Aunty Eno” and “Aunty Ireti”.

    It’s like you want to be slapped today.

    13. When the gate gets blocked because some students just decided to start protesting.

    Every time, protest. You people will not go and read your book

    14. You, waiting for the ‘any work’ you sent to bring your food.

    Na wa. Are they taking a tour of the university?

    15. When you’re broke and you start wondering if the risky burger behind Mariere is actually worth the risk.

    So, should I die of starvation or die of food poisoning?

    16. How you use the toilets in your hostel:

    Can’t go and carry disease that doesn’t belong to you.

    17. When you see your friend’s babe entering jeep in front of Moremi.

    Chineke, see Janet oh.
  • Nigerians and Africans in general are Kings of dance and groovy music. Here are 7 times Nigerian music gained note worthy international exposure:

    1. When D’banj showed the world that Nigerian music can be jammed to, by any and everybody, with his Oliver Twist song.

    The song topped UK music charts in 2012 and is still relevant till date.

    2. In 2013, three African ladies, CEO dancers, took Nigerian dance to the UK at the Britain’s got talent competition.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blC90s8axy8

    3. When Alicia keys and Swizz Beatz grooved to Wizkid’s Ojuelegba in 2015.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/5-r_daSDPF/
    Cool vibes.

    4. When Wizkid and Chris Brown performed together in South Africa in 2015.

    Showing us serious awesomeness.

    5. When Jermaine Jackson commended P-Square for their Micheal Jackson tribute song, Personally.

    6. Missy Elliot really felt the Shoki dance and just had to do it in her comeback song of 2015.

    Ahh shoki!

    7. And when her dancers choreographed to Olamide’s Shakitibobo.

    We hope Nigerian artists get inspired and we look forward to more internationally exposed Nigerian songs.

  • 1. All the parties have caught up with you and now you are half dead

    2. Financially you are destroyed

    3. Like your situation isn’t dire enough, everyone is doing “New Year new me” so the prices of everything in all the stores have gone up

    4. Yet everyone still expects you to “do New Year” for them

    5. You this morning, realising you have to go back to the office

    6. And you see your office nemesis still has not resigned even though you begged God to do it for you as a new years gift

    7. Your boss is still alive

    8. Traffic has come back with a vengeance

    9. But at least the IJGB’s have carried their wahala and gone

    10. Then you realise you still have no significant other and valentines day is around corner

    Written by Zikoko contributor @Jollz
  • Remember those good old days of buying Chocomilo, ice water, sugar and Kuli Kuli with this.

    Blissful days! Some of you are old though!

    Although this beauty can’t even buy a sip of water anymore and is going into a very quick extinction, Here are 10 ways a 50 kobo coin can still be a part of your life.

    1. Properly scratch recharge cards.

    Stop using your nails please.

    2. Pay for stuff at Shoprite.

    Now you won’t dash them your 3 Naira change anymore, thank us later.

    3. Pay for fuel.

    50 Kobo has been shaved off the fuel price so you can pay the exact amount for the fuel you buy in Naira and Kobo.

    4. Donate into this charity box at Shoprite.

    50 kobo will go a very long way in changing people’s lives if you don’t know.

    5. Teach a child how to count.

    Instead of counting with fingers and stones.

    6. Open Milo and milk tins with ease.

    That struggle can be annoying sometimes.

    7. Make really pretty jewellery.

    Slay can come really cheap.

    8. As a screw driver.

    When real screw drivers become hard to find.

    9. Charge your phone battery.

    Because, who Nepa don epp?

    10. Portraits and other artsy items.

    This is a brilliant art project idea.

    What other things do you think a 50 kobo coin can be used for?

  • When a married man cheats on his wife, one logical solution is to call the said man to order.

    Come, give yourself brain and don’t be unfortunate.

    However, there is logic and there is also the African method of taking care of a cheating husband.

    It’s about to get real.

    A quick African solution is to pity the man and blame the woman involved with him.

    Find her and beat her up or bathe her with pepper. But if you’re feeling kind, simply rain heaps of curses on the woman and her generations.

    … Or simply do what this woman did.

    And let the whole world know you have lost all chill in the world.

    What’s your own style of warding off a home wrecker?

    [zkk_poll post=15260 poll=content_block_standard_format_4]
  • 1. When they stop putting on the generator for you when they take light.

    Get ready, they have already started pitying you less.

    2. When they tell you to buy fuel by yourself if you want the gen on.

    Ah! It has officially begun; your status is expiring

    3. When no one has asked you “when did you get back?” in weeks.

    Basically everyone that can see you has already seen you.

    4. When you stop converting naira to dollars/pounds in your head.

    You are starting to accept your fate.

    5. When your parents go from “don’t stay out too late” to “be back by 10”.

    The curfew has arrived.

    6. When your parents go from asking you to help them do a chore to telling you to go do it.

    Their eyes are starting to clear.

    7. When the chores go from little ones like washing plates to washing toilet floor.

    You know they are rating you less and less.

    8. When you stop saying “innit” and “mate” as much.

    By this time “ehen” and “my guy” have pushed them out.

    9. When you haven’t complained about the heat in weeks.

    You’re already getting used to it.

    10. When you either queue for fuel for over an hour or argue with a conductor.

    The moment any of these happen, your IJGB status has officially expired.
  • Nigerian weddings are one of the most common avenues to really turn up. But then, it’s never always about the Jollof rice or beautiful bridesmaids.

    They can be one of the worst events to ever attend. Here are 11 annoying things about Nigerian weddings.

    1. They are usually very crowded.

    Because, Nigerians will find a way to sneak into a strictly by invitation event.

    2. …And time wasting.

    You probably will spend more than 6 hours of your life in a loud wedding depending on how much African time is spent.

    3. Lord! The overpriced Aso ebi.

    Let’s not even talk about the fact that you cannot wear that same Aso ebi to another wedding because you have to keep buying more Aso ebi.

    4. Expenses! Expenses! Expenses!

    With expensive Aso ebi comes expenses like a nice clutch, face beat because your face has to slay, shoes and let’s not even talk about tailor charges.

    5. The many stages and tiresome procedures.

    The introduction dress, traditional/engagement dress,  church/Nikkah dress and reception dress. Kilode!

    6. Not getting served Jollof rice because you didn’t buy Aso ebi.

    Yes! People get petty like that.

    7. Weddings MCs are boring and tell the worst jokes.

    When will this trash end?

    8. The annoying people that steal all the drinks and small chops at the table.

    You have eaten your fear of God with the small chops, abi?

    9. Getting criticised for dressing hotter than the bride.

    https://twitter.com/Irruaprincess/status/683264223871385600
    You can’t unlock your full potential at a Nigerian wedding.

    10. The low chances of getting seized.

    Nigerian weddings are the fields where seeds of heartbreak are sown. Ironic abi?

    11. Dealing with those “Your own is next” comments.

    Wipe the stupidity off your mouth please.
  • In light of the new Forex restrictions and the depressing state of our currency, it’s only expected that we do the most Nigerian thing we can: at least try to find some humor in it. So here are 15 tweets about the Naira that are guaranteed to make you laugh.

    1. The tweet about one head being better than two.

    2. The tweet about collecting change.

    https://twitter.com/UcheIsClown/status/667977017485324289

    3. The tweet about online shopping.

    4. The tweet about bargaining.

    https://twitter.com/Femi_17/status/658746810438172672

    5. The tweet about blood money.

    https://twitter.com/Lhanraay/status/666014688321359873

    6. The tweet about the exchange rate.

    https://twitter.com/SageSeid/status/626874874749919232

    7. The tweet about waste.

    https://twitter.com/Pope_khofe/status/657622384527196160

    8. The tweet about finding money.

    9. The tweet about credit alert.

    https://twitter.com/e_aboje/status/645953086314426368

    10. The tweet about a foreign currency hedge.

    https://twitter.com/dodoshyne/status/534685924970725377

    11. The tweet about spraying money.

    12. The tweet about calculating.

    13. The tweet about studying abroad.

    14. The tweet about picking money off the floor.

    15. The tweet about home and away jersey.

    https://twitter.com/LukeJr_/status/658026057593933824
  • Nigeria is beautiful! Yes, we said it!

    Although we often complain about the bad roads, litter and often unorganised environment in our Nigerian cities/towns, there are times when we do have to give credit to Nigeria for it’s beauty and this is one of them!

    1. This breathtaking shot of Obudu mountains in Cross River

    My God!

    2. The aerial view of Bonny Island

    So much green! So much space!

    3. The forever beautiful Jos

    Always? Beautiful?

    4. River Niger bridge in Onitsha

    Potentially the perfect shot in a Nollywood movie! Not every time big mansion with white pillars in Lekki oh.

    5. The perfect postcard image from Kano

    Northern Nigeria on fleek!

    6. Another perfect image of Kano

    Can we just move to Kano?

    7. This traffic-free image of Ibadan is beautiful just for that reason

    This could be Lagos… but only on public holidays.

    8. This peaceful and well-built road in Enugu

    Lagos why u no be like this?

    9. The aerial view from this roundabout in Benin city

    Just look at it!?

    10. This picturesque roundabout in Abia

    It seems Nigerians have perfected the art of building roundabouts.

    Have you got any beautiful images of your Nigerian town or city? Share with us!

    All images from Nairaland Featured image from jujufilms

  • 1. Realizing those bowls of eba and slices of pizza have started taking you away from the road to FitFam.

    This food will not eat itself please.

    2. Staying calm and minding your business until Lagos traffic made you insult everybody around you.

    Lagos traffic is not for the meek.

    3. Getting tired on the first day of work after resolving to be more diligent at the office.

    Can we have another public holiday next week please?

    4. Skipping the first Friday/Sunday service of the year even though you planned to be more religious throughout the year.

    Shebi God will understand now.

    5. Already getting curved by a potential bae and it’s not even February yet.

    Perhaps I will be alone forever?

    6. Getting too drunk on 1st of January after resolving to quit alcohol.

    This life is per head abeg.

    7. Resetting all the 5 alarms that woke you up every morning of the past year.

    5 more minutes of sleep please.

    8. When you have already given up on having a tidy room for the rest of the year.

    I can’t kill myself abeg.

    9. When fuel scarcity and inflation are already preventing you from that good life you planned on having.

    Hay God!

    10. When you’re already too broke to start meeting your savings goals.

    Cries in empty bank account.

    How many of your resolutions have you kept or failed at? Let us know.