14. When someone blocks you in front of your hall with “excuse me! Please, can you help me call…”
Better leave my front.
15. “In a short while, we shall be rising up to pray.”
Didn’t we just finish praying?
16. You, the first time you stabbed chapel service:
Is this how I will go home?
17. When you go to the buttery and all they have is Hebron drink.
What is this life?
The vice president of Nigeria, Yemi Osinbajo turns 59 today.
A Senior Advocate of Nigeria and Professor of Law, he was born on March 8, 1957.
As the saying goes, behind every successful man, is a woman. As cliché as it sounds, this adage more than applies here.
We’re here to talk about how the second, most prominent couple in politics keeps inspiring us.
1. Prof Yemi Osinbajo is married to Oladolapo Osinbajo, the grand daughter of Obafemi Awolowo.
Her mother is Otunba Olubusola Soyode, one of the children of Awolowo, who was one of the founding fathers of Nigeria.
2. Obafemi Awolowo had given the couple his blessings to get married 15 years before they actually did.
In an interview with The Sun newspaper, the vice president’s younger brother Akin Osinbajo said:
“Papa stood up and faced our parents and said one of the boys should marry one of his girls (that’s granddaughters) And Mama said that can’t happen. But Papa said in Israel cousins do marry. That was about 15 years before they actually married. By the time they were marrying Papa had passed on. When the two of them came to say they want to marry later and the family said they could not marry because they are blood relations, Mama said Awolowo said they should not stop them from marrying, that Papa had said it while he was alive that they would marry.”
3. They’ve been married for 26 years.
The couple got married on November 25, 1989 and they’re still going strong!
4. They have 3 beautiful children.
Their names are Kiki, Kanyinsola and Fiyinfoluwa.
5. They hold pastoral positions in their church.
Prof. Yemi Osinbajo is the pastor-in-charge of theRedeemed Christian Church of God (RCCG), Lagos Province 48, and his wife Dolapo Osinbajo, the leader of the Ladies Fellowship of the same church.
6. They’re not shy about showing a little public display of affection every now and then.
Aww… Couple goals.
7. In 2007, Prof. Osinbajo and his wife founded The Orderly Society Trust, a non- governmental organization that is dedicated to the promotion of Christian ethics and orderliness.
The trust is in honour of the memories of Isaac Opeolu Osinbajo (1919 – 1996) and Oluwatoyin Osinbajo (1962 – 2006). Its aim is to disseminate ethics of integrity, patriotism, respect for civic obligation and etiquette.
Happy birthday vice president!
1. When you finally enter SS1 and can change uniform and punish juniors.
TURN UP!!!
2. When you become a senior and they suddenly say you cannot punish juniors again.
After all I suffered? NEVER!
3. When you send a junior and he says “no.”
Am I dreaming?
4. When a prefect that is your mate tries to punish you.
Is your uncle mad?
5. When you ask a junior for provisions and they say they haven’t opened it yet.
Are you confused?
6. When you see someone punishing your school child.
Better respect yourself.
7. When you send a junior and you hear them grumbling.
What did you say?
8. When you punish a junior and you see them heading to the staff room.
Ah! I don enter am.
9. When that rude junior you and your guys have been timing enters senior block.
It’s all over.
10. When a junior starts an excuse with “my mummy said…”
Just shut up, abeg.
11. When you send a junior and they say someone already sent them.
How does that one concern me?
12. When a junior tries to fight with someone in your class.
You’re not even afraid?
13. When you beat a junior and they come to school with their parents.
Ahahn! That small beating.
14. When you see your school child carrying provisions on visiting day.
God is really good.
15. When a junior enters your class.
See dead man walking.
1. You know that you will not meet light at home after a long day at work.
It’s such a bloody stretch.
2. And it’s so hot that you’re convinced that someone left the gates of hell open.
Like we are not suffering enough already.
3. When you’re a woman in Nigeria, everyone assumes that they can tell you what to do.
You cannot even drive in peace without a ring on your finger.
4. And blame you for being raped or kidnapped. It was how you were dressed and where you were walking.
Victim blaming is the new norm.
5. Nigeria imports everything but our exchange rate is nonsense and our salaries are even worse, so we can’t can’t buy anything anyway.
Please, help us.
6. The exchange rate is bloody, but your President’s response is “Well…”
“Those who can still afford it can afford it.”
7. Why should the President care? He hasn’t even spent a full three months in the country.
Bye!
8. Nigerians collectively can not come early. We even have a name for it – Nigerian time.
Fix your lives!
9. If you live in Lagos, half of your entire life is spent in traffic.
You’ve become one with the distance.
10. All customer service agents think they’re above doing their jobs – especially the ones in banks.
As if it’s not my money.
11. Nigerian politicians don’t even respect us enough anymore to tell intelligent lies.
They won’t even invent believable excuses.
12. People are stealing money yet everybody else is broke.. someone had $1 million in his soak-away!
In his soak-away!!!
13. The landlords want you to pay 2 years rent upfront. Like if you had that money you wouldn’t have built your own house.
Mscheww!
14. When you put something on your social media account and the entire Nigeria descends on you.
It does take a village. *rolls eyes*
15. NNPC only gets fuel to keep the country ‘wet’ for 2 weeks out of every month.
What in the entire hell?!
16. When you get credit alert and it is quickly followed by Stamp Duty charge or the ‘100 naira monthly fee + VAT’ charge from the bank.
It’s the stupidest policy in the world.
17. As an unemployed person, your biggest problem is work experience. Where will you get it from without a job?
But no one wants to listen.
18. Those waiters that will wait till you finish your food to let you know that POS is not working.
HAY GOD!
19. What are students supposed to eat now in school…other than indomie, now that Lassa fever won’t let you drink garri?
I don’t know too.
In these hard and difficult economic times, there are people that are thriving. Being a millionaire isn’t the in thing any longer. The value of the naira has depreciated too much for it to matter. You have to be a billionaire and in dollars for everyone to know that you have arrived.
Forbes has compiled a list of the richest Africans and as usual, there are Nigerians repping us!
These are the Nigerians on the list:
1. Aliko Dangote
Coming in first on the list is Aliko Dangote. Is anybody surprised? I mean seriously. I’m sure some of us are like “Can somebody please take over from this man?” But he’s a hustler and it’s paying off. He’s the founder of Dangote Cement, which is Africa’s largest cement-production company. He’s worth $14.4 billion.
2. Mike Adenuga
Second on the list is Mike Adenuga. He’s now worth $10 billion, which is $6 billion more than he was worth last year. This increase in his fortune is attributed to the increase in value of his telecom, oil and real estate holdings.
3. Femi Otedola
He’s number fourteen on the list. Otedola is the controlling shareholder of Forte Oil, an oil marketing and power generation company. He’s worth $1.85 billion.
4. Folorunsho Alakija
She’s the sixteenth on the list. She’s the vice chair of Famfa Oil, an oil exploration company that has a 60% participating interest in block OML 127, one of Nigeria’s largest deepwater discoveries. She’s the only female Nigerian billionaire and one of Africa’s richest female billionaires. She’s worth $1.55 billion.
5. Abdulsamad Rabiu
Coming in at number twenty-two is Abdulsamad Rabiu. He is the founder of BUA Group which includes: sugar refining, cement production, real estate, logistics and port operations. He’s worth $1.1 billion.
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Is this your face right now?
Well it’s uncle M.I that started it oh.
J. Cole fans were jejely tweeting their disappointment in him for failing to release the album he promised to drop in February 2016.
Have you ever been in traffic for more than four hours and spent the whole time wondering why, what, who, is causing the damn thing? Say no more we’ve got you. Disclaimer: You still can’t avoid it.
