The study considered factors such as GDP per capita, homicide rates, income inequality, unemployment, urban air pollution and life expectancy for the ranking.
Nigeria was number 1 as a result of high unemployment rate (23.9%) and the 70% stress level.
Hay God!
Before you start arguing, is there light in your house?
How long did you queue to buy the fuel in your generator? (that’s if there’s fuel inside sef).
Is your job paying you what you really deserve?
How many hours did you spend in traffic today?
Is the Boko Haram issue not enough cause for worry?
Abi FOREX isn’t affecting you in anyway. Let us know so we can come to your house since you’re no longer Nigerian.
The study has really shown all the wahala happening in the country to the world. We hope things will improve so Nigerians can go back to being one of the happiest groups of people in the world.
1. When you go about starting a conversation with “As someone who is ripe for marriage”
Over ripe sef.
2. When you’ve enrolled in marriage counselling but you’re still single.
I’m starting for both of us. My husband can join me when I find him.
3. When you start randomly wearing rings on your left hand.
Lol! Please engage me.
4. When you’ve been a bridesmaid 15 times.
Ejoor. Me too I want to marry.
5. And caught the bouquet 14 times.
I caught it…again!
6. When people around you get engaged and you feel the need to update bae about them.
“Very nice ring too!”
7. When you’ve watched ‘Lord of the Rings’ with your bae like 6 times and they still haven’t gotten the hint.
Till I shout it in your face abi?
8. When you go to the mall and you take bae past the ring shop more than once but they still don’t get.
Tori Olorun, buy ring now?
9. When your instagram feed is full of Bella Naija weddings and aso-ebi Bella.
I’m ready.
10. When you dedicatedly trended the #seizethebae2015 and #commitorcomot2016.
Yes! Seize me, please.
11. When everytime your bae buys you a gift in a box, your heart skips a beat.
But then you open it…
12. When more of your friends are getting engaged and it’s upsetting you more and more.
I hope you’re miserable happy.
13. When every white dress starts looking like a wedding dress.
Is this a sign, Lord?
14. Everytime bae bends down, you assume it’s a proposal.
*faints*
15. When someone asks you out but all you want to do is skip dating and go straight to engagement.
It’s getting late abeg.
16. At this point, you don’t mind if someone tosses the ring at you as proposal. Sha propose.
12. When you see light as you’re heading home and they take it right before you reach your house.
My enemies want to see me cry.
13. When the first thing you do when you enter a building is to search for where to charge your phone.
How far socket, biko?
1. When it’s payday and you’re waiting for that credit alert.
Where is my money oh?
2. When they send an email apologizing for the delay.
Are we playing here?
3. When your boss tells you to do something and you’re just there like:
Better leave me.
4. When you realize you are using your money for transport to go and work for the people that are owing you.
Hay God!
5. When the bus you normally enter to work increases by N50.
Well, no more work for me.
6. When you’ve already mentally spent all the money and you’re just there waiting for alert like:
What is all this?
7. When it’s time for lunchbreak and you have to pretend like you’re not hungry.
I’m alright, please.
8. When you finally get alert, but it’s just your bank debiting you for SMS charges.
These ones think I’m playing.
9. You, before checking your account balance at the ATM.
God, do it for me.
10. When the weekend comes and your friends start calling you to hang out.
See these ones.
11. When you see your coworkers still spending money and you’re just looking at them like:
Are all of you now doing prostitution?
12. When you start regretting every single thing you bought when you still had money.
13. When your data finally finishes and your phone basically becomes a calculator.
Epp me please.
14. When you finally receive that credit alert.
FINALLY!
15. You, eating your first meal after the money enters.
#RichGang
How many weeks has it been since we had fuel and light simultaneously? Or you know, even one after the other. But you know, we are Nigerians, so we have to survive.
1. Always remember that this period is not the time to be moving up and down.
If it’s not urgent, you’re not going.
2. Instead of driving your own car or paying for bus, mount a truck.
You won’t spend money or fuel. Imagine the breeze though!
3. Before you visit anyone, ask them if they have fuel. If they do, will their generator be on?
Let’s not waste each other’s time.
4. Banish the spirit of shame that will not let you charge your phone at the meeting you’re attending.
We are all going through the same things.
5. When you plug your phone, go ahead and plug everything else that needs charging.
Yes. Even your rechargeable fan.
6. When you go to a bank with free sockets, plan to spend at least two hours there.
You need the full battery, and they have AC. This is your home now.
7. To extend your stay at the bank, allow people that enter after you to cut the line in front of you.
They think they’re doing you, but you know better.
8. To make your stay at the bank look legit, withdraw N1000.
It’s still money.
9. Sit in the bank, watch Buhari on CNN and get upset all over again.
This N1000 must be worth it.
10. The next day, go back to the bank to deposit the N1000 and repeat 5, 6, 7 and 8.
They won’t suspect.
11. Carry a water bottle around, you cannot tell when you will encounter a cold water dispenser.
Prepare for the best.
12. When you go to a reastaurant, sit near the sockets.
Take your time to select a seat, they’ll think you’re tush.
13. Then eat as slowly as possible so you can enjoy the AC and charge your devices.
You sha paid.
1. When your parents keep calling you the wrong name by accident.
Na wa. You born me by mistake?
2. When your parents constantly treat you better than your older ones.
WINNING!
3. When your parents send your siblings on an errand and they make you do it.
What is all this?
4. When everyone treats you like the baby of the house even when you become an adult.
You people should free me.
5. When everything in your wardrobe is basically second-hand.
When will I see new cloth, biko?
6. Whenever your siblings say “when you’ get older…”
Sorry oh Oldest Olamide.
7. When your siblings leave you at home because they think you’ll spoil their fun.
Na wa oh.
8. When your parents now force them to take you along and they ignore you throughout.
Are we even related like this?
9. When you report your siblings and your parents punish them.
Good for you.
10. When your teachers constantly compare you to your siblings.
Should I go and bring them back to your class for you?
11. When someone is bullying you and you tell your siblings.
My defenders,
12. When people start buying you things because they want to date one of your siblings.
You sabi.
13. Whenever people just assume you are spoiled.
You don’t have sense.
14. When all your siblings finally move out and your parents officially turn you into the help.
Is this my life now?
15. Whenever your parents left the house and left your older siblings in charge.
I’m dead.
1. Just sleep.
You probably had to wake up at 5A.M. But keep one eye open, before they chance you.
2. Make friends with your fellow queuers.
Nigerians are nothing if not friendly in crisis.
3. Write a book.
We hear that suffering increases creativity.
4. Turn it into a picnic.
LMAO! Bring the rest of your family to join in the wait – along with food.
5. Start a small business – pure water, bottled water, cold drinks, novels, hand fan etc.
What do you think your boot is for?
6. Write a Nigerian song.
Eedris, African China…they found inspiration in our hopelessness. Honestly, it’s not that hard.
7. Find your bae. Your type will surely be on one of the queues.
With the amount of people queuing, if you don’t find someone in one of the petrol stations, it’s your fault.
8. Get your summer bod ready.
Those kegs and generator tanks are useful for lifting.
9. Take a faux-deep, over edited artistic shot of real Lagos life. Caption: Beauty Within The Madness.
Please. Please. We are all artists.
10. Create a snapchat film. You can still be woke in your suffering.
Yass Queen!
11. Start a Twitter fight about how fuel queues are killing feminism or slutshaming.
