1. When you want to borrow the money, be as humble as possible.
In fact, if you have to fall in love with them to get the money, do it.
2. Thank them well even when you have no intention of giving them the money back.
But they don’t know that.
3. For the first few days (or weeks) after borrowing the money, stay loyal.
You gotta make them feel comfortable.
4. When they ask you when you plan to return the money, never be straightforward.
If you’re in love it’s perfect. They won’t ask.
5. When they ask you for collateral for this money.
Give nothing!
Now to the hiding:
6. Make your Instagram account private.
Do not let them see you flexing.
7. If they’re on your Twitter timeline, you can’t tweet or even ‘lol’ at tweets.
Just save your fire tweets as drafts and ask God for help to gather the money.
8. When your phone is ringing and it’s them, do not pick.
Like, don’t touch the phone.
9. After a while, pick up and tell them your phone fell in the toilet or that you’ve been sick.
That scores you sympathy points or you can just say “I didn’t see your missed call”.
10. When they start shouting for their money, get angry too.
“Is it because of ordinary 45 million naira?”
11. If they catch you at a lit hangout, tell them your rich friend sponsored you.
Before they start thinking you have money.
12. When they don’t believe, ask if you can pay in installments.
1 million naira now, 44 million in 50 years.
13. But you already know it’s safer to avoid lit hangouts and just follow them online.
Sorry, but na you owe money.
14. When you see them walking towards you in public.
Run! Or hide.
15. If you think you might never pay them back, block them across the digital universe.
Just hope they don’t know your house!
16. Or die.
That way you win. You never have to pay.
On April 28, Tiwa Savage’s husband, Tee Billz had a public meltdown that had us all worried and wondering if his account got hacked. However, Tiwa confirmed that Tee Billz tried to jump off the Lekki-Ikoyi bridge but was rescued and taken to Banky W’s house.
Tiwa Savage, in an interview with pulse TV shared her own side of the story and addressed the speculations about her marriage.
She explained how worried she got when she learnt about Tee Billz suicidal rants and how concerned she was for his safety.
However, she also revealed the problems she faced while in the marriage and how she didn’t want to keep up appearances.
Fighting back tears, she told the interviewer of the unfortunate miscarriage she had recently.
In the Interview, Tiwa revealed how Tee Billz stole from her while he was her manager. She fired him just to make things work between them.
However, as she said, Tee Billz cheated on her frequently and even had a child by another woman during their relationship.
She also discovered he had ‘interesting’ conversations with another woman which he saved as ‘Edible catering’ on his phone while she was dealing with her miscarriage.
Tiwa also told of how she caught him doing cocaine and how he had drug and alcohol problems.
Although she paid off some of his debt which include a Mercedes Benz and Rolex watch, he still incurred a 45 million Naira debt and is currently wanted by the EFCC.
Although he continued to claim he ‘made her’ and accused her of stealing his manhood and cheating on him, Tiwa said she never cheated on him.
According to her, the marriage was a mistake and is over. However, she wishes Tee Billz the best and will keep praying for him while she focuses on her son.
Nigerians showed their support for her.
I strongly feel for @TiwaSavage. That's the definition of a strong woman.
You can watch the full video of the interview here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O22u_FUkmu8
Wizkid is a great musician, no doubt. His music has been getting serious international exposure and recently, he was featured sampled in a Drake single, One Dance, which is currently number 3 on the Billboard hot 100. To add to his many milestones, his Instagram account just got verified.
He was recently hosted by the president of Sierra Leone and he shared this picture on his Instagram page.
On, April 28th, Drake’s 4th studio album, VIEWS, was released and it included the single with Wizkid. Wizkid was also credited as a producer on the album.
1. When their aim is always to become the madam of the house.
Mission Impossible.
2. How they plot to steal their madam’s husband.
It must happen.
3. The official Nollywood housegirl hairstyle:
What is a comb?
4. Nollywood housegirls and amebo.
Always with the housegirl next door.
5. When they go out with their fellow house girls.
Hot sturvs.
6. When they always wear bum shorts to clean the house.
This your ‘steal the oga’ mission sha.
7. When they are only ever from Calabar.
Na wa.
8. When they wait for their oga to be around before coming out in their towel.
Professional seductress.
9. The madam, when the housegirl starts vomiting in the morning.
She cannot just be sick again?
10. Whenever the gateman tries to toast them.
Face your gate, biko.
11. The madam, when they break a plate in the kitchen.
They must always break plate sha.
12. What they cook vs. What they let them eat:
Is it fair?
13. When one rich man or prince falls in love with them out of nowhere.
Oshey Cinderella.
14. The housegirl, when a pastor comes to do deliverance in the house.
They are always possessed.
Nigeria is very hot! And what makes it more unbearable is that there’s no light to even power air conditioners or electric fans. On top of that, there’s no fuel to power generators even though some people have been making false promises.
A Twitter user, @Zebbook, shared 11 hilarious responses Nigerians should expect from Nigerian politicians concerning the heat in Nigeria:
Journalist: “What are your thoughts on this heat Nigerians are complaining about, and what is the government doing about it?”
2. Lai Mohammed: “This is the result of PDP’s misrule, they stole the ozone layer”.
3. Femi Adesina: “Mr President promised us change, and that includes change in temperature. Change is here, embrace change”.
4. Akinwumi Ambode: “We have signed a $10 million deal with LG to install air conditioning across the Lagos skyline”.
5. Ibe Kachikwu: “I assure you that this heat will disappear by 2pm on 29th May”.
6. Bukola Saraki: “Tinubu wanted the heat to be more than this, but I opposed him out of my love for Nigeria and that’s why they are witch hunting me”.
7. Goodluck Jonathan: “The heat was not this bad when I left power, but Nigerians did not appreciate me”.
8. Adams Oshiomhole: “Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala stole the N100 billion meant for temperature control research”.
9. Nasir El-Rufai: “We’re in talks with General Electric to see how they can generate power from this heat”.
10. Rauf Aregbesola: “I just approved payment of January salary so Osun workers can buy hand fans”.
11. Aliko Dangote: “Next week, we are commissioning the Dangote fan factory. By 2030, Australia will be buying fans from us”.
12. Ben Bruce: *Tweets* “When Naira is weak and inflation is high automatically there will be heat. This is common sense”.
1. When that friend that never drops money comes on Friday to ask if there is turn up.
See this one.
2. When you get to Quilox and the bouncer says the place is full because celebs are around.
Hay God!
3. Your face, when a bouncer slaps one of your guys.
Someone cannot play with you again?
4. You, showing your guys the best part of the fence to jump in from.
We must do this turn up.
5. When they finally let you and your squad enter.
Yes Lord!
6. When you hear how much they are selling Rosé but you still act like you’re considering it.
Just wait first.
7. When you see the babe you came with rocking Iyanya upstairs in VIP.
Is this my life?
8. You and your guys, scanning the area for all the fine babes.
Let’s plan this thing.
9. You, when some idiots start breaking bottle and fighting.
Na wa! Just like that?
10. When your squad is managing 2 bottles of Henny and you see some Yahoo boys popping basins of Moët.
Allow us be great, abeg.
11. When you see your bill after ordering just 3 plates of snail.
Are you mad?
12. You, trying to price Olosho.
How much last?
13. When you and your guys see the person that sold you fake Henny.
See the bastard.
14. When you get home and finally see what Quilox did to your account balance.
Hay God!
When a food lover and chef on Twitter asked Nigerians to share their worst cooking experience, the responses were hilarious as we expected.
