2. When the principal announces that there will be no classes.
YES LORD!
3. When one teacher still wants to teach during inter-house sports practice.
Leave this place.
4. That teacher that always carried the training on their head as if it was for Olympics:
Biko, calm down.
5. When you see that Milo truck arriving.
Cold Milo for the men them.
6. When your house captain gives you the glucose to hold.
The best.
7. When girls hear “It’s time for 100m senior boys”.
The only race that matters.
8. When you see someone from a visiting school talking to your crush.
It can pain.
9. You, when house captain is looking for people to do match pass.
God forbid.
10. Those students that couldn’t care less about participating:
All of us at some point.
11. What it looked like after every 800m race:
Na die.
12. When your parents come to watch you and you come last.
Hay God!
13. Your guys, when your parents bring food from home.
YES!
14. You, waiting for glucose after winning a competition for your house.
Oya na.
15. When your house wins the inter-house sports.
Turn Up!!!
16. When people start crying because their house lost.
Usually Yellow House people.
Like Olajumoke, many successful people of today didn’t have a rosy background but ended up with a miraculous breakthrough.
She began her hustle in Iree, Osun state as a hairdresser. She later moved to Lagos and began selling bread to support her family.
Just like Leicester City forward, Jamie Vardy. Although he didn’t sell bread, he also “started from the bottom”.
When he was 16, Jamie tried to make his dreams as a footballer come true. He was rejected by Sheffield Wednesday because he was too small and wasn’t the kind of footballer they wanted.
However, he joined Stockbridge Park where he was paid 30 pounds a week, and worked as a carbon factory worker just to make ends meet.
Although he was earning roughly 850 pounds a week by the time he was signed to Leicester City, the team still didn’t stand a chance of winning the league by the time he joined.
Jamie Vardy’s team survived relegation in 2015 and with his help, miraculously won the league.
Just like how the God of Olajumoke came through for her only months after she came to Lagos…
That photobomb brought Olajumoke endorsements, a luxury apartment and of course, money!
Jamie is also cashing in roughly 80,000 pounds a week (as of early 2016) which is a lot considering where he came from.
And just like Olajumoke…
Vardy doesn’t joke with his family.
They’re both awesome and inspiring! Carry on jare!
1. How they are named:
Na wa.
2. You: “I’m looking for a blue shirt”. Them: “This yellow shirt will fit you more.”
Are you mad?
3. When they wash and hang okrika for you to buy.
Better leave this place.
4. When they add the price for their AC and transport on each cloth.
See me see trouble.
5. You, when you hear their prices.
Chai!
6. When you see the real price of what you bought somewhere else.
Jehovah!
7. Nigerian boutiques and blue fluorescent.
All of them.
8. When whatever you buy is always finer in the boutique.
The boutique light jazz.
9. When the only shoes they know how to sell are loafers.
Ugh!
10. When they are selling Louis Vuitton and Gucci bags for “ten thazand”.
Gallant soldiers such as Air force Commander, Chinda Stephen Hedima, chose to protect Nigerians by fighting off these terrorists.
He and his co-pilot were sent on a combat mission when their aircraft was shot down by Boko Haram terrorists.
He was captured and later executed by the terrorists but unfortunately, the Nigerian military refused to acknowledge his death even after members of Boko Haram released a video of his execution.
The late commander had his combat simulator training on the Alpha Jet with Aero Vodochody in Czech Republic.
And two years after his death his widow, Dr Hedima was awarded a post-graduate scholarship to study Epidemiology by the Czech Republic government.
The Czech government recognised her late husband’s sacrifice for his country especially because of the great diplomatic relations the country has with Nigeria.
Although the Nigerian military authorities are just confirming his death after two years, we wish her all the best in her studies.
There are scores of widows whose husbands died while serving and protecting Nigeria and its citizens from the brutal terrorists. It’s sad that it takes an international country to appreciate one of them.
We hope the Nigerian government honours these soldiers for their sacrifice.
1. When a fresher asks you where “Ofolawbasement” is.
See this one.
2. When you see the queue for uniben shuttle to new Benin.
God forbid.
3. When you’re walking with a girl in Ekosodin and you hear “guy show”.
Not today, satan.
4. When there’s no light in school and you go to charge at GTB.
Na wa.
5. How reading halls look during exam time:
You people know how to read now abi?
6. You and your guys, when Post UME babes start showing:
We move.
7. When you tell the intra-campus bus driver that you’re going to block of flats.
Ah! No vex.
8. When you see shotput nylons flying out of hall 2.
Damn!
9. When the smell of beans hits you as you enter hall 4.
YES LORD!
10. You, watching insults fly between hall 2 girls and hall 3 boys.
Are you not entertained?
11. When you’re trying to read in night class and you hear “My brothers and sisters, I won’t take much of your time”
Chai!
12. When you decide that your life is more important.
I cannot come and go and die.
13. When you are passing BDPA at night and you hear something that sounds like a gunshot.
Jehovah!
14. When you get to 500LT by 6am for an 8am class.
What the hell?
15. Uniben and long queues.
B.Sc in Queueing along with your real degree.
16. When you’re single and you see couples loving up at hall 2 car park and love gutter.
What are you people doing?
17. When you are waiting for buka 7 rice and someone tries to cut in front of you
You wan’t to die ba?
18. Whenever you have to use a toilet in the hall.
Disease is not my portion.
Co-written with Zikoko contributor, @TheGrandVezir
1. Everyone older than you is either your aunty or your uncle.
We are not even related.
2. What every grade means:
The struggle.
3. Every Saturday morning is environmental sanitation.
Ugh! The worst.
4. When you want to call any of your older siblings you have to start with “Brother” or “Sister”
Why na?
5. When you see an adult sweeping you have 3 seconds to run and collect that broom from them.
Hay God!
6. Your left hand is for you, your right hand is the only hand that matters.
What did the hand do to you people?
7. When your parents call you, the answer is never ever “what?”
“YES MA!”
8. The Morning Fresh is never finished, just add water.
Don’t waste money.
9. University and Religion are NOT optional.
Unless you want to go and live under the bridge.
10. You can’t date until you’re married.
See wahala.
11. When your parents are angry every question they ask is rhetorical.
Just keep quiet.
12. If you don’t want rice then you’re not hungry.
Na wa.
13. Your career options:
Chineke!
Ghanaian Pastor Addison Adamu, the founder of Freedom House Church International, Atlanta, Georgia wanted us to know how much he loved children when he shared pictures of him “backing” a child on his Facebook page.
That’s not the best part, he managed to preach the word of God, and heal the sick…
With this adorable little girl on his back.
He captioned the pictures “Having awesome time during Ephphatha conference: babysitting, preaching and healing the sick at the same time. what an awesome time to love on little kids Jesus so love dearly.”
He loves children just like Jesus did but couldn’t he give the little girl a chair to sit on while he preached and watched over her?
Is backing a child the only way to babysit?
Is this little girl not too old to be backed with a wrapper?
Are women (including female pastors) this celebrated for backing a child while preaching?
Is it necessary for any pastor or public speaker whether male or female to literally back a child while talking to an audience?
