Nigeria | Page 190 of 223

1. Really, what else were you expecting to be number 1?

Geles for the win.
2. Your mother’s “I’m here for my breakthrough” Sunday hat:

You already know she is not there to play.
3. The “I’m going to slay at Asalatu” veil:

GIVE THEM!
4. The “let’s go and scatter that Owambe” jewellery:

Mama Di Mama!
5. The ‘I beta pass my neighbour’ bead set:

Oshey, mummy of the bride.
6. Your mother’s wardrobe is basically incomplete without:

Nigerian mothers love their matchy-matchy.
7. The bag your mother always forgets her phone in:

Why they never answer your call.
8. The unofficial Nigerian mother wig:

If your mother is funky, she will have it in brown too.
9. Your father’s ‘pass me the remote’ polo:

You know he is about to watch football.
10. Every Nigerian adult’s reading glasses.

They will now put it on their nose.
11. The shoes your aunty who’s always complaining loves to wear:

https://twitter.com/No1chick/status/736872736669245440

12. Your father’s favourite stay-at-home outfit:

Just add his newspaper and slippers and he is fine.
13. Your father’s “I’m going to see a friend” shoes:

They ALL have it.
14. Your favourite Nigerian uncle’s shoes:

The one that always gives you ‘biscuit money’.
15. The cap your least favourite uncle owns:

He was meant to stay with your family for just a week… It’s been 3 years.
Two years after going through a kidney transplant, Nigerian producer and singer, OJB Jezreel, has died at 49.
Babatunde J. Okungbowa who was popular for producing Tuface Idibia’s African Queen died after suffering from a kidney failure relapse on June 14.

In 2013, he was diagnosed with kidney failure and only survived after one of his wives, Mabel, donated a kidney to him. Several Nigerian celebrities also helped in funding his operation in India.

He will be remembered for his amazing songs and here are some of them:

1. Pum Pum

2. Searching

3. Pretete

4. Missing You

5. Beautiful As U R

6. Jah’s My Light

He left behind 3 wives and 8 children.

Rest in eternal peace, OJB.
PS: Baby boy here means he’s winning at life a.k.a ‘chopping life’. Ooni of Ife, Oba Adeyeye Ogunwusi, who is on a visit to the U.S, will be hosting the Odunde festival which celebrates the Yoruba race in the U.S annually. Here are 10 reasons why he’s an awesome Nigerian monarch:
1. He is an established accountant and a member of professional bodies such as the Institute of Chartered Accountants of Nigeria (ICAN) and an Associate Accounting Technician.

2. He is forty and still living the royal baby-boy lifestyle.

3. He runs a chain of successful businesses including Inagbe Cocowood Factory, a home furniture brand which makes use of local raw materials for production.

4. He made efforts to squash the notorious Ife/Modakeke beef and even started a fund to develop both towns and their environs.

5. Celebrities like Olamide aren’t shy to sit with him.

6. He even paid Super Eagles player, Obafemi Martins a visit.

7. He and his wife, Olori Wuraola, only know how to slay.

8. To add to his feathers, he was recently appointed as the Chancellor of University of Nigeria, Nsukka

9. During his visit to the U.S, he will be visiting President Obama at the White House and is set to receive a honorary award.

10. In his honor, New York senator, Kevin Parker and Brooklyn Borough President, Eric Adams, secured permission and declared June 13 as Yoruba day.
1. How you felt when you first heard “GREAT LIONS AND LIONESSES!”:

“ROAR!”
2. When you were still eating at Chitis in 100L and your wallet was just looking at you like:

You will soon find your level.
3. When you wake up and the first thing that comes to your mind is going to chow at Santa Villa.

Akpu of life.
4. Your face, whenver you hear “OKPA DI OKU”.

YES LORD!
5. Your network, as soon as you step into Abuja building.

It will just vanish.
6. This annoying struggle:

The worst!
7. When you tell a babe you stay at Odenigwe or Hilltop.

Bye, sir!
8. How lawn tennis court looks when exams are close:

Oshey, prayer warriors.
9. When someone tells you they are studying Statistics.

Good luck oh!
10. Whenever a girl sees Akionu approaching them.

Just run.
11. When you go to NSLT for night class and you see people forming love.

Better read your book.
12. UNN girls and their pee bucket.

Inseparable.
13. When UNN security will be doing oversabi like they are FBI.

Chill, abeg.
14. When staff kids come and spoil your show with their parent’s cars:

Carry your 504 and be going, biko.
15. When you go to CEC to chill and you see frat boys holding meeting.

ALL THE TIME!
16. The queue for Mama Ebuka’s yam beans:

Saving lives since forever.
17. You, turning up at Grace Manor on Friday.

The best!
So, what UNN memories do you have? Share them in the comments section.
In record breaking and women-empowering news, Bauchi state got its first female judge when Justice Rabi Talatu Umar was appointed in June 2016.

She was appointed 2 years after the former Chief Judge, Justice Ibrahim Zango, retired in 2014.

However, her appointment didn’t come so easy. In March 2016, her recommendation as the most qualified and suitable candidate for the position of the Chief Judge of Bauchi State was met with protests and petitions.

One of them claimed Justice Umar wasn’t qualified enough because she wasn’t the most senior judicial officer nor an indigene of the state.

However, Bauchi state governor, Mohammed Abubakar, on the swearing-in ceremony argued that her appointment was legal and based on her long-standing record of being upright and professional in her official assignments.

Although haters tried to stop her, Justice Rabi has made history in Bauchi. We wish her all the best at her new job!
1. When that camera around their neck is all they need to steal all the attention from you.

It can pain.
2. Your face, when you find out they just took an off-guard picture of you.

Please respect yourself.
3. When you’re walking with them one second and the next second they’re taking a picture of the sun.

Is it not the same sun you saw yesterday?
4. When they start hitting you with all those technical terms.

What are you saying?
5. When you guys are taking pictures in public and you see agberos coming.

RUN!!!
6. You, the first time they asked you to model for them.

I knew I had it in me.
7. When they wake you up to take pictures because they like the way the moon looks.

What is it?
8. When you see them putting their phone outside danfo to take a picture.

Behave yourself.
9. When they make you do embarrassing poses as per concept.

Hian!
10. When they get you a ticket for one of all the fancy exhibitions they attend.

YES!
11. You, waiting for them to finish editing so you can finally hang out.

Finish na.
12. When their models are flirting with them and ignoring you while you’re there carrying lights.

See my life.
13. When they keep telling you about all the expensive lenses they want to buy.

Didn’t you just buy one last week?
14. When they start doing the most to get that mad shot.

My Guy! Co-written by Zikoko Contributor, Obeyaa Atta and @De0lu
1. Him, if you try to make the first move:

BYE!
2. What he actually means when he finally asks you out.

Get ready.
3. Essential reading when the relationship starts:

Have to be prepared.
4. When he already knows the drill.

Just get to the point, aunty.
5. When you’re waiting for him to come and romantically open the car door for you.

Be waiting.
6. How he looks at you try to eat out of his food when your own is in front of you.

Why, though?
7. His face, when you buy him singlet and boxers for the third Valentine’s day in a row.

I’m not crying.
8. When his friends suddenly start calling you “Iyawo wa”.

Be careful, the cheating has probably begun.
9. Whenever you accuse him of being unfaithful.

The master.
10. When you catch him but he still has a “logical explanation”.

Men will always have an excuse no matter what 😂😂 #Nollywood https://t.co/N4d2Ar5LC7
— Nwoke ga agbambo (@UbaSocrates) June 23, 2014

11. When you offer to pay on a date and you’re waiting for him to stop you.

You played yourself.
12. His face, whenever you ask to see his phone.

Oh God!
13. How he looks at you when you ask him to help carry your handbag.

See this one.
14. His face, when you’re telling him about your day:

He is on autopilot at this point.
15. When you bring up marriage on your 5th year anniversary.

Take it easy, aunty.
16. You, when he is sick vs. Him, when you’re sick:

Carry your germs and be going.
Popular Nigerian fashion magazine, FAB magazine, released the first online edition of their monthly publications featuring Wizkid.
Of course, they had to put him on the cover with a brilliant cover theme showing The Milky Way which contains billions of stars, just because Wizkid is also StarBoy.

But that’s not why we’re here.

Let’s talk about this really ‘interesting’ picture from the magazine shoot.

Wow! So Wizkid wants us to believe he actually uses Pound Sterling notes as tissue paper.

Or what exactly was he trying to achieve with this picture?

When Olamide sang about using Pound Sterling as tissue paper, we never imagined it this vividly, thanks Wizkid.

We totally get it, he has so much money and wears designer clothes to the toilet.

But next time he wants to ‘break the internet’ like this, he should kindly send us a warning notice.
1. When the inside of your phone that costs N120,000 is the same as the inside of another N10,000 Android device.

Oh joy!
2. When your charger spoils…

What the…!
3. …But pretty much any wire can charge your device.

And it’s not even expensive.
4. The difference between you and an iPhone user.

android users:

-can i have my phone please?

people with iPhones:

-can i have my iPhone 6s plus Gold aircon tomato sauce mushroom please 😂
— FUT: iamdoxel (@DRCongoFUT) March 31, 2016

Ugh!
5. Whenever an iPhone user is complaining about battery life.

Who sent you?
6. When an app is not available in the Nigerian play store.

Where is it now available?
7. When other people already have an app update but you’re still there waiting like:

Ordinary update.
8. The struggle of using your Nigerian bank MasterCard on the Playstore.

Kuku kill me.
9. When your Android falls face down and it is not a Samsung or HTC.

When you’re ready you’ll stand up.
10. When these phone manufacturers release a new, more expensive Android phone.

They all look the same.
11. When Google Now cannot really understand your accent.

Better behave.
12. When people make fun of Android Snapchat quality.

I’m not crying.
13. You, refusing to update your OS because there will always be problems.

Updates always, always come with terrible ringtones.
14. When your auto-correct starts correcting and suggesting words for you.

No auto-correct, I really meant to type that.
15. When the OS argument is going on and Windows phone users want to join in.

This doesn’t concern you though.
16. You, when an iPhone user moves to Android.

You’ve seen the light.
1. When you thought English was going to be your best subject.

Something you’ve been speaking since you were a kid. Should be easy!
2. When your teacher asks you to write an essay on how you spent your last holiday and you have to write about all the places you’ve never been to.

“I went to Jamaica with my family…”
3. When you see “write a letter to the local government chairman of your community…” on your question paper.

What’s this nonsense?
4. When you ask your classmates to explain something to you and they’re speaking big grammar.

Shoot me please!
5. You, trying to understand the point of those summary passages.

Still don’t know the point.
6. When you still can’t differentiate between ‘its’ and ‘it’s’.

See my life!
7. You trying to pronounce words like “discombobulate” correctly.

I must not disgrace my ancestors.
8. When you try to read the newspapers to improve your English and see ‘words’ like “feedbacks”.

Jesus!
9. The main reason you hated English Language in school.

Is it not just ordinary ‘love’ we are talking about again?
10. When you try to form big grammar and end up shelling terribly.

I don mess up.
11. You when you try to say the ‘th’ in ‘mother’ and ‘they’ correctly.

So much stress.
12. When someone still comes to say you can’t use ‘will’ and ‘would’ whenever you like.

Oversabi.
13. You trying to understand the difference between American English, British English and Nigerian English:

Nigerians and ‘short knicker’.
14. You trying to remember “I before E except after C”.

‘Receive’, ‘believe’ etc…I’m still confused abeg.
15. When they ask you to write an essay that ends with ‘it was the most unforgettable experience of my life’.

Can you not stress me?
16. “House is to houses, but Mouse is to mice”.

Bruhhhhh.
17. When you hear that the plural of ‘chief’ is ‘chiefs’ but the plural of ‘thief’ is ‘thieves’.

What is all this?
18. When you still don’t get an A in English after all the wahala.

The shame.
19. This perfect example of why English is just stress abeg.

Ghoti=Fish.