But this same Aunty K. Michelle tried to speak “Nigerian” in the most ridiculous manner.
She shared this video on her Instagram page and claimed she was only speaking Nigerian Pidgin English.
And when Nigerians started dragging her…
… She went and posted more videos. Oh dear!
As if that first one wasn’t enough torture, she went on to throw shade at African-Americans in her next video.
She said “I am not African-American, I am just African. Because African-Americans too busy getting worried about ‘tea’ and getting no bread. Wetin dey happen? How far?”
And she ended the drama while speaking at the top of her voice with a shout-out to Nigerian-American rapper, Wale.
“Look at me, I’m ‘oh-ga’ at the top. Look at you, mumu, just gossiping, blogging and suffering. Look at you, shine your eyes”.
What exactly was she trying to say in those videos?
Because they were just ridiculous and confusing.
Who told her the only way to speak pidgin English was by speaking so loudly?
Who was she even calling ‘mumu’ in the video?
When African-Americans try to ‘speak in an African accent’ but fail woefully…
Can you not?
If she was trying to win us over with those videos, we’re so not impressed!
Watch the rest of the videos on her Instagram page, @Kmichellemusic.
Nothing can be more shocking than discovering that the management of a Chinese supermarket has allegedly refused entry to Nigerians in groups, except when escorted by a police officer due to their alleged criminal activities.
According to the DailyTrust, this decision was reached after the supermarket was attacked by armed robbers who stole over 2.5 million Naira, leaving the owners injured.
Although the sign above says everyone is welcome to the store, an attendant who spoke with DailyTrust, explained that the alleged decision to bar Nigerians wasn’t discriminatory but a safety procedure to prevent recurrence of such activities.
The attendant however said Nigerians are allowed to enter the supermarket individually and not in groups except accompanied by a policeman.
In a now deleted post, Facebook user, Mohammad Jamu, claimed to have gone to the supermarket and was well-received only that people had to go in one at a time because of the robbery incident.
But wait a minute…
It’s not rocket science to know that there are several ways to improve security in any organisation than making only Nigerians go into the supermarket one at a time.
This development also points out the flaws in the Nigerian security situation and the risks Nigerians and foreigners are regularly exposed to.
However, the Nigerian police has to make efforts to curb criminal activities all over the country immediately.
This post as updated on June 16, 2016, includes the alleged account of the Facebook shopper, Mohammad Jamu, who went to check out the supermarket.
5. When the group members are no longer having it.
It’s only right.
6. You, when your friends start fighting in the group.
Continue, please.
7. This struggle:
The worst.
8. When you open the chat after the gist has already finished.
It can pain.
9. When someone leaves the group and you become the admin.
Time to add ‘Administrative Skills’ to my CV.
10. When you’re ranting in the group and no one is answering you.
See my life.
11. Whenever a group member posts a joke everyone has already seen.
Oga, keep up.
12. When someone gets kicked out with style:
Na wa for you people.
13. When you do your finishing move:
The best.
14. How you feel when you’re finally out of the group.
FREEDOM!!!
Some of the best movies ever made are the ones that were adapted from novels.
And because Chimamanda’s greatness must never be overlooked, her award-winning novel, Half Of A Yellow Sun, was made into a film produced by Biyi Bandele.
And in seriously awesome news, Chimamanda has signed the film adaptation rights of a short story from her award-winning collection, The Thing Around Your Neck, to Ghanaian director, Adoma Akosua Owusu.
The short story, On Monday Of Last Week, reveals the experience of a Nigerian immigrant, Kamara, and her interest in the mother of the boy she babysits.
Scheduled to play Kamara’s role is Chinasa Ogbuagu, who recently featured in Off-Broadway Nigerian-themed play, Sojourners.
Akosua Owusu who fell in love with the story because it addresses issues like race, self-awareness and liberalism has launched a Kickstarter campaign to help fund the project.
We’re so excited and can’t wait to see how great this movie will turn out!
To help towards making the production of this film possible, check out the Kickstarter campaign video here.
1. When they change their menu for their fancy client.
This one pass your power.
2. When they tell you they don’t do small chops.
3. How they listen to you tell them to come early when they know they damn well won’t:
You will wait.
4. When you see their bill for the first time.
I’m dead.
5. When the guests are not even having it.
Is it aso-ebi they will eat?
6. When you no longer trust your caterers to share the food well.
No time.
7. How they look at guests that come back for more food:
Better leave this place.
8. When someone tries to “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?” for them.
They don’t care oh!
9. Nigerian caterers and “meat has finished”.
ALL THE TIME!
10. When they serve you strong meat and you’re wearing white.
Is it fair?
11. When you taste their puff puff and it’s actually not soggy.
It’s a miracle.
12. When you make eye contact with the caterer stealing centrepieces during the event.
“Wetin you dey look?”
13. When you see the caterer that told you food has finished carrying packs home.
Is it like that?
Nigeria’s Colonel Charles Nengite broke a 38-year record and became the best performing foreigner in the U.S Army War College.
He went home with not just his M.Sc degree in Strategic Studies, but 6 other awards for outstanding performance in different courses.
The College authorities also recognised Col. Nengite’s efforts towards elimination of sexual harassment in the workplace when he wrote a seminar paper titled “I am your friend”.
He also won the US Army War College Commandant’s Award for Distinction in Research for a paper he wrote on how to combat Boko Haram.
Beating 380 other students to the top position, his performance was described by the College Commandant, Maj.-Gen. William Rapp, as one of the best in the international fellows programmes at the USAWC.
Congratulations to Colonel Charles Nengite and we hope this achievement is recognised by the Nigerian Armed Forces!
1. When you enter the office and see that overeager colleague approaching you.
Just don’t abeg.
2. When that colleague that lives around your side always gets to work before you.
Oshey, employee of the month.
3. When you’re getting along with your colleagues and they spoil it by inviting you out after work.
Take it easy.
4. That colleague that keeps trying to talk to you when you have your earbuds in.
Are you well?
5. You, avoiding your colleagues in public at all costs:
This 9 – 5 is enough, abeg.
6. That colleague that always tells you personal stories that leave you looking for their point like:
Well, that was a waste of my time.
7. Whenever one of them manages to find you on social media.
Is there no escaping you people?
8. Nigerian colleagues and “you’re adding weight oh!”
Thank you, weight scale.
9. You, at every single work event.
Kill me now.
10. Colleague: “I can’t come to work, I’m not feeling fine.”
We know the truth.
11. When you’re single and your colleague is constantly trying to set you up.
Is it your ‘single’?
12. When you’re sneaking out during your lunch-break so nobody asks you to help them get food.
Not today, biko.
13. When you say “come and join me” while you are eating and they actually come.
See what home training has caused?
14. When your colleague with terrible taste keeps playing their music with loudpeakers.
Later you will say you have sense.
15. You, pretending to be busy so you don’t have to walk out with anyone.
I don’t have your energy.
16. You, when they start arguing about football or politics.
Let me just face my front.
17. How your colleagues look at you when you leave the office at 5 on the dot:
Na una sabi.
18. When they ask you to “wait small” so you can give them a ride home.
See this one.
When people who love to travel return from their journeys, they come with souvenirs and stories of their experiences and the people they met.
Telling the Al-Majiri story with pictures is Kolapo Oladapo, a UI and graphic designer who takes interest in changing the African narrative with code and design.
During his travel across some northern states, he learnt about the Al-Majiri community and how they are invisible realities in their own community.
Although the Al-Majiri system is now a nightmare compared to what it used to be, the number of children in the system keeps growing.
Kolapo decided to tell the story of these children who should be the future of tomorrow.
In his words, “I could show you a thousand photos exhibiting the rare & preserved beauty of Northern Nigeria”.
“I’ve seen the beautiful tall city gates, the horses,the castles…I could tell you about the INVISIBLE PEOPLE, my people, our people who are seen only by outsiders but not the indigenes and I will. They move in troops & their cloaking device is abject poverty, that way you cannot see them because they blend into the general statuesque of Northern Nigeria and indeed the entire nation, poverty”.
These children are found everywhere in the north and are usually treated like outcasts. In this photo story, Kolapo explains the story of the average Al-Majiri child.
“They are everywhere, everywhere”.
These children who ought to be in school usually work as refuse collectors.
“Refuse collectors in Kano. Lots of children ages 5-15 are engaged in menial jobs around Nigeria but a little more than usual in Northern Nigeria”.
Their parents place them in the care of Mallams who are expected to teach them Arabic and Islamic education.
“The Al-Majiri kids usually between age 5-15 can be found everywhere in Northern Nigeria even in the eyebrow places like malls, parks, the zoo, etc. It’s almost like they are INVISIBLE”.
In return for their education, their parents send funds and farm produce for their upkeep and also in appreciation of the Mallam’s efforts.
“The Mallams like pimps use the wards as beggars who file returns to them at the end of the day. If they don’t meet the target, the sleep in the many abandoned infrastructures around. Places like old theaters houses, behind public toilets, market stalls & so on”.
One can only imagine the harsh conditions they have to go through.
“An Alimajiri eating his morning ration (breakfast) from a polythene bag”.
Most times, the few who meet their daily target get to sleep in a crowded room of 20-30 people.
“Most times in pursuit of the Mallam’s happiness they get beaten, injured, whipped for either trying to steal or behaving like one who lacks home training. These are the times where the indigenes see the INVISIBLE PEOPLE. But I wonder how a child can have home training, when they have no home”.
Some of these children resort to menial jobs.
These harsh conditions of survival drive some into petty crime.
Even though their children will have to beg for a living, some parents still continue to send their children to these Mallams.
“I told my friend Abdul that in Lagos the government through its task force picks up children who hawk during school hours…He laughed and told me that if the government tried that here, they’ll be chaos because most parents don’t want their wards in “western styled” schools. They prefer them learning from the Mallams”.
Check out more stories from Kolapo on his Instagram page @Kp.e.
1. Your face, that moment your car or bus breaks down in the middle of the bridge.
I’m dead.
2. When it’s a bus so you know at least you’re not going to die alone.
We are all in this together.
3. How the other passengers move when a car actually stops:
You people should chill small.
4. When you get down and discover how much the bridge actually shakes.
How is this thing still standing?
5. When your mind starts doing ‘1000 ways to die’ because you’re alone.
Baba God, pick up.
6. You, realizing how many steal-able things you actually own.
Why do I have so much stuff?
7. When you start calling your friends to come out and pick you.
Friendship no reach that one.
8. How Lagosians look at you when you try to stop them for help:
Keep dreaming.
9. How they actually see you once it’s after 7pm:
You are automatically an armed robber. Don’t argue.
10. You, remembering all the stranded people you never stopped for.
Is this karma?
11. When you look at the water and start remembering all the mami water gist you’ve ever heard.
This can’t be how I die.
12. You, calculating how many miles you would have to run to get off the bridge.
Let me just sit here and die, abeg.
13. When a suspicious looking car starts slowing down beside you.
Hay God!
14. When it’s actually a good Samaritan that is stopping to help you.
