But he surprised us o! He threw mad shade at the Onigbese people that called him for a show but refused to pay.
Eh ya! his fans won’t be seeing him perform at the show.
But what shocked us was how he switched from his signature comedic mode to a very serious, ‘phoney-speaking’ professional.
Abeg, who is owing Falz money o?
Come and pay your gbese so people can turn up abeg!
1. You, going to the sick bay when you know your teacher is going to inspect your notes.
I cannot come and chop cane.
2. When you carry your friend that just vomited in class to the sick bay.
You will now stay there with them to dodge class.
3. How you run to the sick bay when you didn’t do your assignment:
It’s not me they will beat today.
4. You, looking at that girl that always faints when they are about to flog the class:
Oversabi.
5. How all the boys rush to carry the girl to sick bay when she faints:
See these ones.
6. When you stab class and lie that you were in the sick bay and the teacher wants to go and confirm.
Hay God!
7. How you feel when you successfully convince the nurse that you’re sick:
“and the Oscar goes to…”
8. You, when the nurse now gives you actual drugs to take.
Uhm. Actually…
9. When you go to the sick bay with a cough, a cut, a broken leg or heartbreak.
That’s all you people know.
10. How the sick bay nurse gives you your injection:
The worst.
11. You, using the sick bay to dodge manual labour like:
No cutting grass for me.
12. How boys go to the sick bay when the nurse is fine:
See these ashewos.
13. What the sick bay always looks like during evening prep:
You people should do and go, abeg.
14. How you sleep in the sick bay when you know they are flogging your classmates:
The best.
15. You, leaving the sick bay when the class you were stabbing is over:
WINNING!
The Rio Olympics started on Friday 5th August 2016 and so at Zikoko, we decided to take a trip down memory lane and chose 10 of the most memorable athletes Nigeria has had over the years!
1. Blessing Okagbare
Blessing is an Olympic and World Championships medalist in long jump, and a world medallist in the 200m. She has also won medals at the All Africa games, IAAF continental cup and the World Relays.
2. Hakeem Olajuwon
One of Nigeria’s greatest exports to the NBA, Hakeem played center for the Houston Rockets and then the Toronto Raptors from 1984 to 2002. In 1996, he was a part of the olympic gold medal – winning United States national team and was recently selected as one of the 50 Greatest players in the history of the NBA.
3. Augustine Azuka “Jay-Jay” Okocha
The former professional footballer became a favourite with Nigerians after his feats at the 1994 African Cup Of Nations and the 1996 Olympics.
4. Chioma Ajunwa
After suffering quite a few setbacks in her early career, Chioma became the first Nigerian to win an Olympic gold medal (during the 1996 Atlanta Games). After her sporting career, she joined the Nigerian Police Force.
5. Kanu Nwankwo
Kanu Nwankwo is one of Nigeria’s favourite football players. His career accolades include a UEFA Champions League medal, a UEFA Cup medal, three FA Cup Winners Medals, two African Player of the Year awards and an Olympic Medal.
6. Mary Onyali
Mary won the bronze medal in the 4 x 100m relay at the 1992 Olympic Games and in the 200m at the 1996 Olympic Games. She also won the 1994 Commonwealth Games 100 metres title. Her record at the All Africa Games is outstanding and includes Gold medals in the 100m (1991, 1995 and 2003) and 200m (1987, 1995 and 2003).
7. Rashidi Yekini
Rashidi was Nigeria’s record goal scorer with 37 goals in 58 appearances and even scored Nigeria’s first goal in a World Cup in 1994. He also topped the goal charts in the 1994 Africa Cup of Nations and was named best player of the competition.
8. Vincent Enyeama
A member of Nigeria’s national team from 2002 -2015, Vincent served as the captain of the team from 2013 till he retired from international football in 2015. He is Nigeria’s most capped player of all time, with 101 international caps.
9. Segun Toriola
A professional table tennis player, he has been ranked as Nigeria’s best player since 2005 and Africa’s best player since 2009. His accolades include; 4 African Table Tennis Singles Championships (1998, 2002, 2004, 2006), 2 African Table Tennis Doubles Championships (1992, 1994), a Commonwealth Singles Championship (2002), 4 All African Games Singles Gold Medals (1995, 1999, 2003, 2007) and many others.
10. Stephen Keshi
A former player and National team coach, the late, great Stephen Keshi’s popularity soared when he led the Nigerian national team to victory during the 2013 African Cup of Nations.
We’re not lying, seriously, just look at the circular that was passed by the CBN.
Can you imagine that?
At a time where many people in the North-East are suffering from starvation and lack of medical support, this gist cannot be any more shocking and mind boggling.
Perhaps they think those of us that have been buying the dollar at almost N400 have two heads sha.
Abi do they think we’re children of Satan that don’t deserve good things?
When you realise the government is wasting money on pilgrimage while most of its citizens can’t afford the current exchange rate.
Nigerian government and all the leaders, abeg:
We will not take this o! The Nigerian government should fix this economy instead of doing ojoro up and down.
In case you missed it, the Super Eagles Under-23 Team has clinched its first victory at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games, despite some serious glitches.
Even after Olivia the Parrot (soccer psychic) predicted a Japan win, the U-23 team beat Japan 5-4, bringing Nigeria her first win at Rio 2016.
This victory comes as a big surprise, considering the incredible amount of stress the U-23 team members went through just hours before the match.
The Nigerian sports ministry, ever so organized, somehow had the team stranded in Atlanta, USA. The team missed a flight last Friday due to a communications mix-up.
Another flight was booked for Wednesday this week, but unfortunately could not transport all the team members at once.
Minister of Youth and Sports Development, Solomon Dalung while addressing the cause for the delay implied that the government was not responsible for it.
"@Ayodeji_13: Ladies and Gentlemen , Meet Solomon Dalung, United States of Nigeria"s Youth and Sports Dev. Minister. https://t.co/vUPfp4MQfD
Planning and logistics for the team is the direct responsibility of the Nigerian Football Federation, but would it hurt if the sports minister showed some concern?
Delta Airlines had to come to our rescue. General Manager, Mike Lowry, and his team prepped a plane in time for an early flight to Manaus, 6 hours before the game, FREE OF CHARGE!
The drama did not end there. A wrong National Anthem was mistakenly played before the match.
Even after that experience, Oghenekharo Etebo scored 4 goals in a single match! That was after Sadiq Umar scored a goal in the first 7 minutes of the game.
We just want to thank the Nigerian Government, especially the Honorable Minister for Sports, Solomon Dalung, for all the support they’ve shown the Dream Team VI so far.
In fact, the way our government is treating Nigerian Athletes representing us at Rio 2016 is too wonderful! Continue!
Against all odds, we see our team is ever ready. According to Team Captain Mikel Obi: “We may be tired and frustrated, but we’re all still together and ready to win gold in Rio.”
Nigerian Athletes, please continue with the good work o! We wish you all another amazing Atlanta ’96 win!
