At 27, *Ifeanyi earns ₦2.6m monthly as a management consultant in Nigeria, but this wasn’t the plan. Graduating with an accounting degree from a private university in Nigeria, he set out to build a career in finance and investing. But two years later, he pivoted to consulting, starting at the Nigerian branch of a “Big Four” before moving to one of the world’s leading consulting firms.
His career hack? Strategic job-hopping and always solving for himself first. Here’s how he made his biggest salary jumps and what he’s doing to secure an even bigger paycheck.
This is *Ifeanyi’s story, as told to Aisha Bello:
I’m a management consultant at a leading global firm with a presence in Nigeria. While I’m based here, my work cuts across industries and markets worldwide. I solve complex business problems for companies across various sectors. A consultant’s job is to step in with a fresh, strategic perspective whenever a company faces a challenge. Think of us as brains for hire or doctors for businesses.
Starting Out: Equity Research Analyst (₦183k/month) | 2021 – 2022
Fresh out of university, I landed an internship at an investment bank that paid just ₦20k/month. It was a great learning experience, but I needed something more sustainable.
But first, NYSC.
I was posted to Abuja for my service year. Five months in, I secured an entry-level role as an intern analyst at a financial advisory firm, earning ₦150k/month plus my NYSC allowance (₦33k), bringing my total earnings to ₦183k/month.
After NYSC, I got promoted to a senior role in the same firm, and my pay increased to ₦220k/month. However, I wanted to transition to private equity, so I left.
Private Equity Firm (₦220k/month) | 2022
By mid-2022, I joined a private equity firm as an analyst trainee, but the pay was the same as my previous role. I was excited about the switch, but a “Big Four” firm came calling two months in.
I got the offer towards the end of 2022, and started as a graduate trainee in their Risk Consulting unit, earning ₦286k/month. However, within a week, I discovered another unit focused on management consulting. It was broader, more generalist, and felt like a better fit for me. So, I spoke to my manager, reached out to the new unit’s leadership, made my case, and transferred immediately.
Consulting is fast-paced. One month, I could work on a public sector project; the next, I’ll be deep into oil and gas or banking and finance. The constant challenge kept me engaged.
After a year, I was promoted to Analyst in 2023, earlier than the usual 18- to 24-month timeline.
I had been identified as a top performer. I took on more work, delivered results, and earned the trust of my seniors. Seeing my performance, they recommended me for the promotion. I moved up, and my salary jumped to ₦467k/month.
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By mid-2024, it was reviewed to ₦640k/month as part of a company-wide cost-of-living adjustment.
I was on track for another promotion to Senior Analyst, which would have bumped my salary to ₦800k/month, but I left before this happened.
Big Four firms may have global brand names, but each country operates independently. The Nigerian unit, for example, is owned and run by Nigerian partners, just like the US and UK branches operate separately.
They share a name and some resources but aren’t one big global company. That’s why working at a Big Four firm in Nigeria doesn’t guarantee international mobility. I wanted something different: a consulting firm where my career wouldn’t be tied to just Nigeria. So, I made my next big leap.
The Big Move: Global Consulting Firm (₦2.6m/month) | Present
At junior levels, salaries at consulting firms are fixed; no negotiation. The only way to increase your earnings is to move to a firm that pays significantly better.
That’s exactly what I did.
Breaking into this firm wasn’t easy. The interview process is one of the toughest in the world, and candidates spend months preparing for it.
So, I spent 5-6 months on rigorous case interview practice and hundreds of mock sessions. I used online platforms to connect with other candidates and practised with people already working at the consulting firms.
Then, I started applying to top-tier global consulting firms, and by mid-2024, I had landed an offer. My remuneration would be over three times what I earned at my “Big Four” job.
I resigned from my “Big Four” job and transitioned to my present firm shortly after.
Beyond the pay and global mobility, promotion politics was one of my biggest reasons for leaving. At my current firm, that’s not a thing. If you deliver results, you get promoted.
I currently earn a net salary of ₦2.6 million monthly, and a pay bump follows every promotion.
I work at a firm that operates at the same global standard, and my role now extends beyond Nigeria to international projects.
But the job is brutally demanding. Late nights are the norm, and wrapping up before 11 p.m. counts as an early finish. It’s incredibly fast-paced, so getting time to rest and recharge is a rare luxury. But I put up with it because I enjoy the work, and the rapid growth makes it all worth it.
Key Lessons from My Salary Progression
I’ve never been afraid to leave a job, even after a month or two.
People call it job-hopping, but it’s about making moves that serve my personal growth and financial goals. In just five years, I’ve worked at five different companies. Here’s my two cents about career growth:
Always solve for yourself first: If your salary isn’t growing significantly, look for better opportunities.
Strategic job-hopping works: I took control of my career and didn’t stay in roles that didn’t push me forward.
Brand matters: Working at a global-recognised firm opens doors to better pay and career growth.
Negotiation is limited, so play the long game: Your level determines your salary in consulting. If you want more, aim for a firm that pays higher at your level.
Stay ready for opportunities: I secured my current job six months before resigning. Have a plan before making any move.
What the next five years look like
I don’t see myself staying at any company for over two or three years. My primary focus is delivering my best in my current role, but when a better opportunity comes knocking, I won’t hesitate to make the jump.
That said, I don’t see myself returning to a Big Four. That’d be like a footballer playing in the Europa League, then levelling up to the Champions League, where the competition is tougher, the stakes are higher, and the rewards are greater. There’s no going back once you’ve played at the highest level.
People say consulting is for those still figuring out their long-term career path, and maybe they’re right. It throws you into different industries, working alongside top executives and decision-makers you wouldn’t otherwise have access to. That exposure is priceless, and it shapes your next career move.
Maybe I’ll find my place in banking and finance or oil and gas. When I do, I’ll go all in. But for now, I’m focused on growing, learning, keeping my options open, and playing at the highest level I can.
Join 1,000+ Nigerians, finance experts and industry leaders at The Naira Life Conference by Zikoko for a day of real, raw conversations about money and financial freedom. Click here to buy a ticket and secure your spot at the money event of the year, where you’ll get the practical tools to 10x your income, network with the biggest players in your industry, and level up in your career and business.
If you’re tuned in, hip to the latest trends, and totally in the know, this is your chance to show off your pop culture knowledge and recall everything that has happened this March. Shall we?
Take the quiz:
Questions
This is a question
“Achalugo” became a viral buzzword, thanks to a Nollywood movie titled what?
One of these is the correct title of Chimamanda Adichie’s new book.
What is #CorruptTok?
Which African president is the most viral subject of #CorruptTok?
The new Funke Akindele movie that had people talking is titled what?
Which popular twin musicians and their brother recently had a court case and EFCC issues?
Which Nigerian singer recently had a public drama with his father?
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Good job. Nothing misses you. If you don’t have the info, no does.
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You can do better, if you always want to know about the things around you.
Haha. It seems you have been offline for a while o. You have a lot of catching up to do sha.
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We are only three months in, but 2025 is already shaping up to be an explosive year in Nigerian pop culture — and not just because of the flurry of hit songs. From messy online draggings to heated defamation suits, this year has delivered nonstop drama, public fallouts and bizarre fan wars.
Here are the eight wildest Nigerian celebrity fights of 2025 so far.
January 2025: Cubana Chief Priest and Burna Boy
In January 2025, Burna Boy and socialite and show promoter Cubana Chief Priest clashed online. Burna Boy referred to Cubana as the “Owerri Rick Ross” in an Instagram story and later called him an “Azaman,” implying he acts as a middleman for Yahoo boys.
The feud escalated, with both men trading accusations. Cubana insinuated that Burna’s Grammy win was influenced by Diddy. Burna denied the claims, insisting, “Everybody in Lagos knows my style, all my shit paid for, sometimes cash sef.” Their rivalry turned into a show-off when Burna gave $30,000 to an alleged younger brother of Cubana, a phone repairer at Alaba International Market.
In January, a legal dispute arose between gospel singer Mercy Chinwo and EeZee Tee, the owner of her former label EeZee Conceptz Limited.
Chinwo accused EeZee Tee of not remitting royalties for some of the songs she released while she was signed to him. He, in turn, accused her of performing behind the label’s back and not remitting cuts, per her contract.
EeZee Tee was eventually arrested by the EFCC, where he claimed he was forced to transfer over $274,000 to Chinwo. Chinwo did not confirm receiving any money from him, but she accused him of bullying and intimidation. She also claimed that he had targeted her because she refused to renew her contract with his label.
She allegedly breached her five-year contract with the label by performing and releasing music without consent, despite the label’s significant investment in her career.
January 2025: 2Baba and ex-wife, Annie Macaulay
If you’ve followed 2Baba and Annie Macaulay’s relationship over the years, their marital drama comes as no surprise. However, on January 26, 2025, 2Baba made headlines when he announced their separation and impending divorce.
Though the post was later deleted, and reports claimed his Instagram had been hacked, 2Baba dismissed the rumours. In a follow-up video, he confirmed that he stood by his statement about their separation and divorce.
This sent social media into a frenzy, with critics saying he should not have made the announcement.
February 2025: The Okoye brothers
The long-standing feud within the Okoye family has taken a new turn, with tensions between P-Square’s Peter (Mr. P) and Paul (Rudeboy), and their older brother, Jude Okoye, reaching new heights. The rift, which began after P-Square’s 2017 split, has now extended to their business dealings, particularly Northside Entertainment.
The drama escalated when Peter accused Jude of secretly setting up Northside Music to funnel P-Square’s royalties into private accounts. Despite Jude’s insistence that everything was legitimate, Peter filed a petition with the EFCC, alleging financial misconduct involving Jude and his wife. This led to an investigation, and in February 2025, Jude was arrested for money laundering and accused of diverting ₦2.95 billion into personal accounts.
As the controversy unfolds, the brothers continue to publicly defend their actions, deepening their family rift.
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February 2025: Portable fights law enforcement officers
In classic Portable fashion, the controversial singer found himself in trouble again in February 2025. This time, he clashed with officers from the Ogun State Ministry of Physical Planning and Urban Development, who came to inspect his bar in Ota. Things escalated quickly, with Portable and his crew allegedly attacking the officials, after which he went into hiding.
By February 17, the Ogun State Police declared him wanted on multiple charges, including conspiracy, serious assault, unlawful possession of weapons, breach of public peace, and even attempted murder for allegedly ordering thugs to attack the officers. The authorities were not taking the matter lightly.
Then came the twist. On February 18, Portable took to social media, claiming he was “mentally unstable” and receiving treatment at the Federal Neuropsychiatric Hospital, Aro, in Abeokuta. A day later, on February 19, he surrendered himself to the police.
March 2025: Fido drags his team online
In March 2025, rising singer Fido sparked controversy after publicly criticising his former marketing team, Inner Circle Entertainment, and distributor, Cidar Africa. In a series of social media posts, he accused them of a lack of transparency regarding revenue and marketing funds for his tracks, including the “Mr. Lover” and “Awolowo” remixes. According to Fido, the company received $15,000 for marketing but reported only $5,000 to him. He also called out the industry practice of marketers taking a larger share of earnings while keeping artists in the dark about their revenue.
The dispute quickly turned bitter, with Fido accusing his former team of trying to control him and withholding financial data. Inner Circle Entertainment denied the allegations, insisting that all marketing costs were properly documented and communicated. The back-and-forth escalated into a public feud, with Fido claiming he was being exploited and painted as ungrateful.
As the controversy unfolded, fans and industry figures urged Fido to move on — especially now that he has signed with Empire Africa under his new label, Oosha Records.
March 2025: Asake and his family
In March 2025, singer Asake found himself in a public dispute with his family. On March 13, a video surfaced online showing his ailing father pleading for financial assistance. In the clip, Asake’s father identified himself, revealing that he had suffered a stroke and was unable to reach his son.
Asake responded the next day with a freestyle on his Instagram story, throwing a subtle jab: “Baba mi gan tun fe cajole me” — suggesting that no one is ever satisfied and even his own father was trying to pressure him for money.
By March 15, tensions escalated when members of Asake’s extended family demanded a ₦50 million house as compensation for allegedly neglecting his father. They also accused him of being a deadbeat dad, claiming he had an 11-year-old daughter named Zeenat and urging him to take a DNA test.
However, the controversy was short-lived. On March 16, reports confirmed that Asake had reconciled with his father, who assured the public that their issues were being resolved. He also expressed gratitude to Nigerians and confirmed that Asake had taken responsibility for Zeenat.
March 2025: Between Timi Dakolo and Pastor Femi Lazarus
In March 2025, a video of Pastor Femi Lazarus criticising the high booking fees of a certain gospel musician went viral. In response, singer Timi Dakolo challenged the pastor to name the artist in question.
The tension was eventually resolved when Pastor Lazarus shared a photo on Instagram with Dakolo and Pastor Emmanuel Iren of CCI, announcing that they had reached a truce.
If you enjoyed the first and second editions of our Nigeria’s Current Affairs quiz, you would love this edition even more. From major political moments to key decisions shaping Nigeria today, this 15-question quiz will challenge how well you really know the country’s political landscape. Ready to flex your muscles again?
Who is the current speaker of Nigeria’s House of Representatives?
Abbas Tajudeen is the current speaker of the House of Reps. Tajudeen represents the Zaria Federal Constituency and has been a house member since 2011.
Which of the following places is home to the Zuma Rock?
The answer is Niger. Contrary to popular assumption, the iconic monolithic inselberg is not located in Abuja, but in Madalla, in neighbouring Niger State, north of Abuja.
Which of the following ex Nigerian Presidents was also a former Head of State?
The answer is Muhammadu Buhari. Born in 1943, Buhari joined the military at age 19. Following the military coup of December 1983, he emerged as Head of State and Commander-in-Chief of the Nigerian Armed Forces at 41 and served in the position until August 1985.
Which Nigerian President is famous for wanting a third term in office?
It’s Olusegun Obasanjo. Though he has denied it before, the ex Nigerian President was rumoured to have pushed for three terms in office (twelve years) against the constitutionally allowed two terms (eight years.)
What do the horses in Nigeria’s coat of arms represent?
The two horses, standing at each side of the black shield, symbolise Nigeria’s dignity.
Which of the following is Nigeria’s largest state by landmass?
The answer is Niger State. Created in 1976 under the military rule of Murtala Muhammed, the North Central State occupies a space of 76,363 square kilometres
Which Super Eagles player is currently the Best Player in Africa?
It’s Ademola Lookman. Though born in England, the 28-year-old plays for Nigeria’s senior football team and has done so since 2022. Lookman who plays for Serie A team, Atlanta, was crowned Africa’s Best Player (Male) in December 2024.
How many geopolitical zones is Nigeria divided into?
The answer is six, and they include SouthSouth, SouthEast, SouthWest, Northeast, Northwest, and Northcentral. These zones, created during Sanni Abacha’s regime, were not particularly carved out on the basis of geography but rather on ethnic and political similarities and for the purposes of administration and politics.
In what year did Nigeria become a republic?
The answer is 1963. We cut you some slack if you chose 1960— although many people confuse both events and dates, they’re not the same. While Nigeria became an independent nation in 1960, it only became a republic three years later in 1963.
Which of the following countries does not share a border with Nigeria?
The answer is Ghana. Even though their citizens engage in never-ending sibling-like fights over whose jollof is supreme, Nigeria and Ghana do not share borders. Nigeria’s neighbours are Cameroon (to the east), Benin Republic (to the west), and Niger (to the north).
How many local governments are there in Nigeria?
There are 774 local government areas in Nigeria. Each of these local governments is administered by a local government council. It is made up of a local government chairman (as its head) and other officials known as councillors.
In which of these states is the Obudu Cattle Ranch located?
The answer is Cross River. Obudu Cattle Ranch, or Obudu Mountain Resor,t is located in the Obaniku Local Government area of the state and is one of Nigeria’s most popular tourist attractions.
When will Nigeria’s next general election be held?
Nigeria’s next election will take place in 2027. This is because the country’s elections are conducted every four years, and its most recent one was held in 2023.
Which of these political parties has ruled the longest in Nigeria?
It’s the PDP. Although it is just an opposition party now, the PDP was Nigeria’s ruling party from 1999, when the country returned to democratic rule, to 2015 (16 years) when APC’s Muhammadu Buhari won PDP’s Goodluck Jonathan in the general election. Though both parties say they differ, many Nigerians struggle to identify those differences as they continue to suffer the same problems as they did in PDP’s time.
Which of these Nigerian States is also referred to as The Food Basket of the Nation?
The answer is Benue State. Home to the popular ‘Benue Yam’ and other food items like cassava, rice, soybeans, mangoes, oranges, and more, the state is blessed with arable land that makes it perfect for agriculture. In recent times, however, Benue’s farming communities have suffered insecurity as a result of farmer-herder crises.
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If you want to grow your money without stress, these investment apps make it easy to diversify, manage risk, and maximise returns, all from your phone. In an economy where inflation constantly eats into savings, investing is one of the smartest ways to stay ahead.
These platforms give you access to various investment options, from stocks and real estate to treasury bills and mutual funds.
We’ve curated a list of the best options, what they offer, potential returns, and how to get started.
1. PiggyVest
Piggyvest gives Nigerians access to pre-vetted low to medium-risk investment opportunities, including fixed-income, real-estate and equity options.
What they offer: Investments in different industries, including fixed-income, agriculture, real estate, transportation and more.
Minimum Investment: ₦5000
Returns: Up to 35% returns per annum.
How to get started: Download the app, fund your wallet and explore available investment options.
What they offer: Automated investment plans in dollar-denominated stocks, real estate, and fixed-income assets with different risk levels and expected returns per annum.
Minimum Investment: $10
Returns: Historically, between 8%–15% annually, depending on your plan.
How to get started: Download the app, sign up with your BVN and valid ID, fund your account via bank transfer or card, and pick an investment plan.
3. Bamboo
Nigerians can access over 3,000 US and Nigerian stocks on Bamboo, making it easy to invest in companies like Apple, Tesla, and Dangote.
What they offer: Stocks, fixed income, and fractional investing, so you can start with small amounts.
Minimum Investment:You can buy a fraction of stock with as little as $2. Bamboo offers a service called Fractional Investing, which means you can purchase parts of any stock based on how much you want to invest.
Returns: Varies based on stock performance, with historical averages of 7%–10% annually.
How to get started: Download the app, verify your account with your BVN and ID, link your bank account, and start trading.
4. Cowrywise
Cowrywise automates savings and investments through mutual funds, fixed deposits and emergency funds, offering low-, medium-, and high-risk investment options.
What they offer: Naira and dollar mutual funds, automated savings, and fixed-income investments.
Minimum Investment: ₦1,000 for naira mutual funds or $10 for dollar mutual funds.
Returns: Historical average 22.87% annually on the Cowrywise investment portfolio.
How to get started: Download the app, sign up, link your bank account, and choose your preferred investment plan.
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5. Chaka
Chaka provides local and international stock trading with access to over 4,000 stocks and ETFs across 40+ countries.
What they offer: Nigerian and global stocks, ETFs, and bonds.
Minimum Investment: ₦1,000
Returns: Varies based on market performance.
How to get started: Sign up, complete KYC, fund your account and start trading.
6. I-Invest
I-Invest specialises in fixed-income investments like Treasury bills, Eurobonds, and equities. It’s ideal for low-risk investors seeking steady returns.
What they offer: Treasury bills, government bonds, fixed-income securities, and equities.
Minimum Investment: ₦100,000
Returns: 10%–15% annually, depending on the plan.
How to get started: Download the app, verify your BVN and ID, fund your account, and start investing.
7. Wealth n.g
Wealth.ng offers stocks, fixed-income, agriculture, and real estate investments, making it a diverse option for active and passive investors.
What they offer: A diverse investment portfolio that includes stocks, treasury bills, fixed income, mutual funds, real estate, and alternative investments like agriculture.
Minimum Investment: ₦10,000
Returns: Up to 22% for agriculture, 20% for real estate, and 13% for fixed income.
How to get started: Sign up, verify your identity, fund your account, and choose an investment option.
8. Bravewood
Bravewood is a CBN-regulated digital finance service that offers Nigerians low-risk investment options and decent returns.
What they offer: They offer investment plans for every goal, from securing a child’s future to other financial goals for maximising wealth.
Minimum Investment: ₦50,000.
Returns: Up to 25% annually.
How to get started: Sign up, fund your account, and choose from different investment options tailored to your financial goals.
9. Invest now
Invest Now is a digital investment app that offers mutual funds, equities, and fixed-income investment options. It caters to investors of all risk levels, providing real-time market updates and automated investment options.
What they offer: Mutual funds, equities, trusts and fixed-income investments.
Minimum Investment: The funding amount is based on the assets you choose to invest in.
Returns: Variable based on market performance, with earnings coming from dividends and capital appreciation.
How to get started: Open an account, choose an investment option, fund your investment, and start receiving returns.
10. Trove
Trove is an investment platform that allows Nigerians to invest in local and international markets.
What they offer: Access to Nigerian stocks and US stocks (including Fortune 500 companies like Apple and Tesla), Chinese stocks, government bonds, ETFs and more.
Minimum Investment: $10 or ₦1,000
Returns: Up to 5.5% returns on Dollar investments and up to 20% returns on Naira investments.
How to get started: Download the Trove app, sign up, browse the available options and start investing.
Bottom Line
Whether you’re looking for steady, low-risk returns or high-growth opportunities, these investment apps give you the flexibility to build wealth on your terms. You don’t need millions to start; just choose an app, invest and let your money work for you.
Join 1,000+ Nigerians, finance experts and industry leaders at The Naira Life Conference by Zikoko for a day of real, raw conversations about money and financial freedom. Click here to buy a ticket and secure your spot at the money event of the year, where you’ll get the practical tools to 10x your income, network with the biggest players in your industry, and level up in your career and business.
Dating a married person is messy. Whether you knew upfront or found out later, one thing is certain: sooner or later, reality will slap you in the face. For these five Nigerians, the slap came in different forms: shocking discoveries, guilty consciences, and, in one case, a very pissed-off wife with serious juju threats.
Here’s what made them finally walk away.
“She said she was single, but her husband’s IG told a different story” — *Femi, 27
Sometimes, the truth slaps you so hard you have no choice but to leave. That’s exactly what happened to *Femi (27), who was having the time of his life with a woman during NYSC, until he found out she had a whole husband and kids.
“I met her during NYSC, and we clicked instantly. She was fun, carefree, and never mentioned a husband. We were always together and hanging out after camp activities. I thought I was just having an innocent fling, but it felt like something more.
One day, while scrolling through Instagram, I saw her tagged in a post. The caption? ‘Happy anniversary to my rock, my soulmate, the best husband and father.’ My heart sank. I went to her page, and boom, more family pictures. I confronted her immediately. At first, she denied it, but when I sent her screenshots, she sighed and said, ‘It’s complicated.’ Complicated how? You have kids! I felt sick.
I blocked her everywhere, but I was still posted to the same PPA as her, so I had to see her every day for months. She’d act like nothing happened, smiling and greeting me, but I felt like vomiting every time. Never again.”
“His wife started sending me messages, and I knew it was time to leave” — *Ada, 28
Most people like to think they’d leave a married person the moment they realise the situation is wrong. But sometimes, convenience and pleasure keep you stuck until a reality check forces you out. That’s precisely what happened to *Ada, 28, when her lover’s wife sent her a message that made her rethink everything.
“I won’t lie, I knew he was married. And yes, I felt terrible about it. But the sex? Phenomenal. He was attentive, always available, and never made me feel like the second option. I convinced myself I was just enjoying the moment and that I wasn’t hurting anyone.
Then, one random evening, I got a message: ‘I know everything. Leave my husband alone before something happens to you.’ I froze. My heart started racing. At first, I tried to convince myself it was a scam message, but then another one came: ‘I hope you sleep well at night knowing you’re breaking a home. It won’t end well for you.’
I knew I had to run. I ghosted him immediately, blocked his number, and stopped going to places we used to meet. I was not about to be the main character in a true-crime documentary. He sent me a few angry texts, then a few apologetic ones, then he stopped.
Honestly? I still think about him sometimes. But fear is a powerful thing. I choose peace.”
“I still don’t know why I left, but those family photos haunt me” — *Tobi, 26
For some people, the reality of dating a married person doesn’t sink in immediately. It’s easy to pretend like the spouse doesn’t exist until you’re confronted with proof you can’t ignore. *Tobi, 26, shares:
“I met him on Twitter. He was this super successful, well-dressed older guy who had everything going for him. I wasn’t even looking for anything serious, but he was persistent. He took me to the best restaurants, gave me money without asking, and made me feel like I was the only person in his world. At first, I thought he was just one of those rich, single uncles. He never talked about a wife or kids. He lived in this massive house alone, and nothing about his lifestyle gave ‘married man.’
But then, one weekend, I went over to his place, and curiosity got the best of me. His house was super neat, almost like a showroom, but there was this one closed-off section I hadn’t noticed before. When he stepped out to take a call, I wandered in, and that’s when I saw framed pictures of him, a woman, and two kids. Wedding photos, vacation pictures, family portraits. The whole happy-family package.
When I confronted him, he didn’t even flinch. He just sighed and said, ‘Oh, they live abroad. It’s not a problem.’ Like that was supposed to reassure me. I won’t lie; I still kept seeing him for a while. He was rich and generous, and honestly, the sex was great. I told myself that since his family wasn’t physically here, it didn’t count. But something about those photos stuck with me. Every time I went to his house, I couldn’t stop thinking about the smiling kids and the woman in the pictures who had no idea what her husband was up to.
One day, I just stopped responding to his messages. I ghosted him completely. I still can’t explain why exactly. Maybe it was guilt, and maybe it was just time to go.”
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“I was catching feelings, and it wasn’t worth it” — *Dapo, 31
If you’re going to be the ‘side piece,’ the first rule is not to catch feelings. *Dapo, 31, broke that rule, and when he realised he was getting in too deep, he had to make a difficult choice.
“I never planned to be someone’s side guy, but things just happened. She was married, yes, but she was also unhappy. She told me her husband was emotionally absent and that he didn’t even notice her anymore. And I believed her because she was full of life with me. We talked every day and went on secret dates, and I convinced myself that what we had was different.
Then, one night, she called me crying because her husband surprised her with a trip to the UK for their anniversary. I felt jealous. I, a whole grown man, was hurt that her husband — the actual person she took vows with — was doing what husbands do.
That’s when I knew I had to stop. I wasn’t some random sneaky link anymore; I was in love. And that was dangerous. I told her I couldn’t do it anymore. She cried, begged me to stay in her life ‘in some way,’ but I knew I had to cut her off. It took months to fully get over her. But looking back, I realise I was just a placeholder, something to fill the gap in her marriage. That’s not the kind of love I want.”
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“I couldn’t stand how he talked about his wife and kids” — *Farida, 29
Some people knowingly get involved with married partners, convincing themselves that it’s “just vibes” or that they’re not really hurting anyone. But for *Farida, 29, the illusion shattered every time he opened his mouth.
“I won’t lie; I knew he was married from the start. He didn’t even hide it. In fact, that was part of the appeal; no pressure, no expectations. I was freshly out of a long-term relationship, and he gave me attention, spoiled me, and kept things exciting. I thought I could handle it.
But then, every time we spent time together, he would find a way to insult his wife. ‘She doesn’t understand me,’ ‘She’s just focused on the kids,’ ‘She’s let herself go.’ At first, I ignored it. Then he started talking about his children, calling them ungrateful and saying he regretted having them so young. Something about it just didn’t sit right with me. If he could disrespect his own family like this, what made me think he wouldn’t eventually do the same to me? I started feeling disgusted every time he spoke.
One day, we were at a restaurant, and he spent the entire time ranting about how his wife’s food was tasteless and how he preferred eating out. I just looked at him and thought, ‘What am I doing here?’ I knew I had to leave. That night, I blocked his number and moved on. He tried calling me from different lines for weeks, but I didn’t look back. I had to remind myself that I wasn’t special, I was just convenient.”
If you’ve been on the internet recently, you might have seen doctors around the world celebrating Match Day. It’s when medical school graduates find out if they got into a US residency program. But here’s the thing: the journey to matching costs a lot of money.
We asked two Nigerian doctors who got matched to break down what it means to match, the steps involved, and how much Nigerian doctors spend to secure a US residency.
But first, let’s explain a few things:
What Does It Mean to “Match” as a Nigerian Doctor?
Matching means securing a spot in a US residency program, a crucial step after medical school for doctors who want to specialise and earn more.
Without it, you remain a general medical practitioner or a medical officer.
Residency is where doctors get hands-on training in their chosen speciality, and it typically lasts 3-7 years, depending on the field.
Doctors become medical consultants after completing their residency program.
The USMLE: Your Ticket to Residency
The United States Medical Licensing Examination (USMLE) is a three-step exam for every medical graduate, including Nigerian doctors, who want to practice in the US.
Passing a foreign licensing exam is non-negotiable for any doctor looking to practice abroad.
It’s like a conversion process for your medical degree, and the USMLE is required to apply for US residency programs through the National Resident Matching Program (NRMP).
The Three Steps of the USMLE:
Step 1: Can be taken after your second year of medical school.
Step 2 CK (Clinical Knowledge): Usually taken in the final year of med school or after graduation.
Step 3: Taken after ECFMG certification, typically during or before residency.
Nigerian doctors can take the first two steps as undergraduates, while Step 3 is done after starting clinical practice.
What It Cost Me to Match Into a US Medical Residency at 24
I officially became a doctor in January 2025 after completing my medical degree at the University of Lagos. I haven’t started practising yet, but on Monday, March 17, I got matched into a US residency program to specialise in Emergency Medicine.
The journey to this point started in September 2021, just as I resumed my fourth year of medical school. That was when the US Medical Licensing Examination (USMLE) announced a major change—Step 1, which had always been a scored exam, would now be graded as simply “pass” or “fail,” starting from January 2022. This meant that Step 1 scores would no longer be disclosed to residency programs.
Before this change, Step 1 was the most important part of a residency application, especially for international medical graduates like me. Residency programs heavily relied on it to compare applicants, and a high score could make you stand out. The pass mark was 194/300, but anything above 240 was considered competitive.
For U.S. medical students, this change wasn’t as big of a deal since they were already studying within the system where they’d apply for residency. However, for international students, it was a huge disadvantage. We lost one of our biggest opportunities to prove we were just as qualified. With Step 1 now pass/fail, residency programs could no longer use it to rank applicants, making Step 2, which was still a scored exam, the new deciding factor.
At this point, I wasn’t even sure I wanted to practise in the US. However, a senior colleague who had just taken the USMLE advised me to take the Step 1 exam before the change made things even more competitive. So, I bought the UWorld study materials in September and started preparing.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t fully prepared to take the Step 1 exam when the grading system change took effect in January 2022, so I took it right after my fourth-year MBBS exams in March 2022.
Getting funding for the process
My family played a major role in ensuring I could go through with the matching process. My parents had started saving for my exams in 2021. At the time, a dollar was exchanged for around ₦415, and Nigerian banks allowed up to $4,000 (₦1.6m) per quarter in foreign exchange transactions.
By March 2022, when it was time to pay for my USMLE Step 1 exam and US clinical rotation, we exchanged approximately $4,000 to cover the estimated expenses. Convincing my parents wasn’t easy, but they trusted my judgment and saw the bigger picture. Once they committed, it became a major thing we were doing in the house; everyone in the family invested in making it happen.
Taking the USMLE Step 1: $2,369
I prepared for Step 1 alongside my 400-level exams, which made that year the toughest of my time in medical school. Step 1 was my first real exposure to the US medical system in terms of studying, and it was intense. Luckily, my best friend Raphael Eloka, who also matched into a Radiology program, was preparing at the same time. So, it wasn’t as tough as it would have been if I were the only one in my class doing it.
Step 1 is an 8-hour exam with 7 question blocks, each lasting an hour, plus an additional hour for breaks.
The exam covers the basics of medicine, similar to what we study in our second and third years of medical school in Nigeria, with a few additional courses. The challenge is that their questioning style and curriculum are completely different from ours. So, if you’re taking it while in school, you’re essentially studying two different systems at once. It’s tough but doable.
There were no exam centres in Nigeria, so I travelled to Ghana to write it at a CBT centre. Here’s what it cost me:
I had done enough practice exams to feel confident that I’d pass, and I did. I was very ecstatic.
Immediately after my exams in March, I had to do a one-month elective clinical rotation before moving fully into my 500 level.
I could have done my rotation at a hospital in Lagos, but completing a clinical rotation in the US would significantly boost my chances for the matching process. And that’s exactly what I did.
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Medical Rotation in the US: $2,200
UNILAG partnered with Northwestern University Hospital in Chicago, allowing students to do clinical rotations there for free. My best friend Raphael and I were the only two Nigerians selected out of many applicants.
I’d confirmed my selection while preparing for the Step 1 exams and had already received my US visa. So, after the exams, I travelled to the US for my rotation. This was still March 2022.
The rotation was my major turning point.
Medicine in the US was nothing like what I was used to in my previous rotations as a medical student in Nigeria. Resources were abundant, robotic surgeries were a thing, and as students, we were actually allowed to assist in procedures. It was a completely different level of learning, and I knew that this was where I wanted to train.
Regardless of what happened, I decided I would commit to the process, write all the subsequent steps, and do everything I needed to qualify for a residency program in the US.
The rotation was a very challenging experience, but it also gave me the opportunity to network with other Nigerian residents — connections that later became instrumental in my matching process.
Although the clinical rotation program was free, I had to cover other expenses:
I started preparing for my Step 2 exam during the eight-month ASUU strike in 2022 and took it just before my 500-level MBBS exams in October 2023.
By then, the naira had jumped from ₦415 to ₦747 per dollar, an 80% increase from the rate we exchanged in 2022.
Step 2 was easier because I was already familiar with the exam structure. I knew how to manage my time, balance studying with school, and handle the pressure. Honestly, anyone who has made it past their first two years of medical school is already in the top 1% — with the right guidance, you can ace any exam.
I had to travel to Ghana again to write Step 2 at a CBT centre. Here’s what it cost me:
I passed my Step 2 exams with a score of 244 out of 300 and received my results in two weeks. With that, I was ready to start applying for the match process.
The Match Process: What it cost to apply to 66 residency programs
In September 2024, during my final year of medical school, I applied for residency in the US through the National Resident Matching Program (NRMP). My CV was strong, but I needed to improve my chances, so I secured another free, short clinical rotation.
This opportunity came through a Nigerian doctor, Dr. Nsikak, whom I connected with on Twitter. She had matched into Emergency Medicine, the same speciality I was interested in. I reached out, and she agreed to mentor me. I got the clinical rotation opportunity through her at Lehigh Valley Health Network (LVHN) in Pennsylvania.
To make the most of my trip, I also attended an Emergency Medicine conference around the same time.
Residency applications are expensive, and I had to be strategic.
ERAS Token ($165): To start my residency application, I needed to register on the Electronic Residency Application Service (ERAS), the official platform for submitting applications. The ERAS token is a one-time fee to open an account and access the system.
Occupational English Proficiency Test ($400): Since I studied medicine in Nigeria, I had to prove my English proficiency by taking an approved test. This test is mandatory for international medical graduates applying for residency in the US.
Application to 66 residency programs ($1,600): Every residency program requires an application fee. The more programs you apply to, the higher your chances and the higher the cost. Since I had a limited budget, I could only afford to apply to 66 programs out of 300. Most international applicants are advised to apply to 150+ programs to boost their chances, which costs around $4,000, but I took a leap of faith.
To ensure I applied strategically, I researched and networked with hospital residents I met during my clinical rotations and medical conferences. I spoke with doctors who had matched in previous years, learned about the hospitals and residency programs they got into, and used their advice to refine my list. I focused on programs that sponsored visas and had a track record of accepting international graduates.
Out of 66, I got eight interviews and was successfully matched into a residency program. My residency starts in July 2025.
Grand Total: I spent $12,668 altogether, which was around ₦13 million at the time, but at today’s exchange rate, it’s valued at ₦19.4 million.
The hardest part of the journey was the uncertainty, financial strain, physical stress and mental gymnastics. It was exhausting and one hell of a marathon. Completing the process requires a lot of grit and mental fortitude, but if you can endure it, it’s worth it.
I’m grateful I don’t have to deal with student loans that take a massive cut of many US medical residents’ income. Residency salaries range from $60,000 to $80,000 a year, which is decent, and the earning potential is even better post-residency.
What It Cost to Apply to 95 Residency Programs
Dr Mariam Bello, 28, General Medical Practioner (₦400k/Month)
Photograph by Femi Gabriels
I currently work as a general practitioner at a hospital in Lagos, but on Monday, March 17, I got matched to a US residency program to specialise in internal medicine.
It’s been a long time coming. I earned my medical degree from Afe Babalola University (ABUAD) in 2020, completed my medical house job in 2022 and finished NYSC in 2023. The next step in my career was residency, but I didn’t want to do it in Nigeria. So, I got a job as a general practitioner while preparing for my USMLE exams on the side.
At first, I considered the UK route. I took the IELTS English test and planned to register for the UK PLAB exams, which would allow me to practice as a medical officer in the UK. But I missed the application window in 2022. I took that as a sign to pivot to the USMLE instead. Besides, PLAB would only make me a medical officer in the UK; I’d still have to apply for residency later.
But I had already made up my mind. When I told my parents about my decision in 2022, they agreed to support me financially.
My USMLE Journey
I started preparing for the Step 1 exam in May 2023, but I found the study materials abstract, so I paid an online tutor $85/month for six months. In December, I travelled to Ghana for the exam, took it, and passed.
If I had a US visa, I would have travelled for clinical experience to increase my chances. However, the cheapest voluntary rotation I could find cost $2,000 for four weeks. It was too expensive to ask my parents for, considering my other expenses. In March 2024, I found an alternative: tele-rotation and completed a two-month online clinical rotation with an endocrinologist in Oklahoma for $250/month.
By June 2024, I had moved on to Step 2. Preparing was easier since I was already familiar with the system. However, I only had three months to study because that was the latest I could take the exam and still apply for residency that year. I sat for Step 2 exams in August 2024 and scored 232 out of 300. It felt disappointing because I had aimed for 260, and a score of at least 240 is generally recommended to boost your chances.
I even considered not applying for residency again that year because the application window was just a month away in September. But thanks to my support system — friends and family who encouraged me, I pushed through.
The Match Process
I applied to 95 residency programs in internal medicine, got three interviews and eventually matched into one.
Cost of residency applications:
$11 per application for the first 30 programs → $330
$30 per application for the next 65 programs → $1,950
Residency interviews are less about what you’ve done and more about how well you sell yourself. They want a compelling story.
One of the programs that interviewed me liked my volunteering experience. For others, it’s research publications, high Step 2 scores, or strong letters of recommendation from consultants. In my case, I believe my recommendation letters, volunteering experience, personal statement, and how well I presented myself in my CV and interviews made the difference.
My residency starts in July. After everything, I can finally say it was worth it.
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Relocating to a new country comes with many adjustments. From harsh weather to new accents, food, and, of course, dating. One minute, you’re in Lagos dodging “WYD?” texts from Nigerian men who do the barest minimum, and the next, you’re trying to decode if “we should hang out sometime” from your Asian colleague means actual plans or just small talk.
To understand how dating transforms post-japa, I spoke to six Nigerians in the UK, US, and Canada about their experiences. From shocking culture shifts to new relationship standards, here’s how life after relocation has changed their love lives.
“The streets are cold, and so is the weather” — *Amaka, 27 (moved to the UK in 2021)
What was your dating life like in Nigeria, and how does it compare to where you are now?
Dating in Lagos was chaotic but active. I had options, even when I wasn’t looking. If I wanted to meet someone, all I had to do was blink, and a man would appear, sometimes too many at once. There were talking stages, but at least they moved at full speed. Now? If I don’t actively put myself out there, I might as well retire from dating because men here don’t chase, and I refuse to run after anyone.
The worst part is that I came here thinking I’d finally escape the struggles of dating in Lagos. But at least in Nigeria, I was actively dodging men left and right. Now, I’m the one trying to get any movement at all.
What’s been the biggest dating culture shock since you relocated?
The passiveness! A guy will be interested in you, text you every day, like your pictures, and even flirt. But when it’s time to actually make plans? Silence. How can I be the one strategising where and when we’ll meet? I thought men were natural hunters; what happened to that instinct?
I once matched with a guy on Hinge who seemed eager at first. We talked for a week, and not once did he mention meeting in person. When I finally asked what was up, he said, “Oh, I just assumed we’d keep chatting for a while before deciding.” Sir, are we pen pals? I unmatched immediately. Nigerian men may stress you, but at least they try.
Have your relationship preferences or standards changed since moving?
Oh, definitely. I’ve realised I prefer directness. Before, I entertained men who were vibes and freestyling their way through dating, but now? If you’re not intentional, abeg, go away. I also used to think I was okay with casual dating, but after a few months here, I know I need someone who shows effort. Texting is not enough, plan a date, be excited to see me, make me feel wanted. The men here just don’t have that sense of urgency.
If you could bring one thing from Nigerian dating culture to your new country, what would it be?
Men who chase. Nigerian men will lie and cheat, but one thing they will do is apply pressure. These UK men think sending a “wyd?” text every two days is enough. I need effort. Where’s the man who will send a driver to pick me up? Where’s the one who will plan a whole date, not just say, “What do you want to do?” I miss the drama of Lagos dating. At least there, I knew I was wanted.
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“Dating in the US feels like a business transaction” — *Bisi, 27 (moved to the US in 2021)
What was your dating life like in Nigeria, and how does it compare to where you are now?
It was easy — not because it was always great, but because there were clear expectations. I dated men who provided financially and emotionally for everything. Even if they weren’t rich, they cared about the little things, like sending lunch money, ordering an Uber, or just making me feel looked after.
Here? It’s a different ballgame. Everyone is so independent that dating almost feels transactional. It’s like, “I take care of myself, you take care of yourself, and we’ll occasionally come together for vibes.” But where’s the romance? The intentionality? The softness?
What’s been the biggest dating culture shock since you relocated?
Nobody is taking care of you. At all. In Nigeria, even broke men would find a way to spoil their babes with small gifts, data, and pay for a meal here and there. The thought was there. Meanwhile, in the US? A guy will invite you to dinner, let you order steak, and then when the bill comes, he’s pulling out his phone, “So, you wanna split?” Sir, I don’t. One even asked if I had CashApp to send him back $5 because he covered the tip.
At first, I thought maybe I was dating cheap men, but then I realised this is normal here. People see relationships as partnerships from day one. That’s great if that’s what you want, but I wasn’t ready for the culture shock.
Have your relationship preferences or standards changed since moving?
Definitely, I used to be soft life or nothing. If a man wasn’t showing effort financially, I wasn’t interested. But now, I understand why US people are so focused on partnership. Life is expensive here. Nobody has the time or money to carry someone else entirely.
That said, I still believe in romance. There has to be a balance. I’ve realised I don’t need a man to provide for me, but I want to feel cared for. It doesn’t have to be about money; it can be about effort — planning dates, making thoughtful gestures, showing me I matter.
If you could bring one thing from Nigerian dating culture to your new country, what would it be?
Men courting women. This “let’s just vibe” culture here is exhausting. Nobody wants to define anything. You’ll go on five dates, meet their friends, even spend the night at their place, and they’ll still say, “I don’t really like labels.” Sir, what are we doing then? I want a man to say, “I like you, I want to be with you, let’s build something.” Is that so hard?
“I went from zero dating options to too many” — *Charles, 27 (moved to Canada 2023)
What was your dating life like in Nigeria, and how does it compare to where you are now?
Non-existent. Being queer in Nigeria meant dating was mostly theory, not practice. The few times I tried, it was through friends of friends, people who had been vetted to make sure they weren’t homophobic or trying to set me up. Even then, the paranoia never really left.
I never got to experience casual dating. Every interaction felt like a risk — meeting in hidden spots, pretending we were just friends in public, overthinking every glance or touch. It was stressful, so at some point, I stopped trying altogether.
Then I moved to Canada, and suddenly, I had options — too many options. Dating apps actually work here. I can hold my partner’s hand in public. I can exist without fear. It’s freeing but also overwhelming. I went from nothing to everything and adjusting hasn’t been easy.
What’s been the biggest dating culture shock since you relocated?
How fast people move. I went on three dates with someone, and by the fourth, they were talking about meeting my family. Family ke? I barely knew their last name.
In Nigeria, we’re used to coded dating. Things progress slowly, and there’s always an unspoken understanding that certain things take time. Here? One date and people are already discussing long-term plans. A friend of mine went on one date, and by the second, the person had deleted their dating app and was introducing them as “my partner.”
I get that people in queer communities here can move faster because there’s no fear attached, but my Nigerian wiring still struggles with the intensity.
Have your relationship preferences or standards changed since moving?
100%. In Nigeria, I had no expectations because a real relationship felt impossible. I assumed I’d have to keep my love life hidden forever.
Now? I want a proper relationship — not just sneaky links or coded situationships. I want a partner I can go on dates with, introduce to my friends, and post without panicking. Being in a country where that’s actually possible has made me realise how much I want it.
If you could bring one thing from Nigerian dating culture to your new country, what would it be?
The mystery. The chase. The excitement of coded flirting. Here, everything is so out there. People are too open about their feelings from day one. There’s no tension, no build-up. You match with someone on an app, and within five minutes, they’ve told you their entire dating history and childhood trauma.
In Nigeria, we mastered the art of subtle moves. I miss that energy.
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“I went from dating for marriage to exploring other possibilities” — *Samuel, 33 (moved to the UK in 2020)
What was your dating life like in Nigeria, and how does it compare to where you are now?
In Nigeria, I was mostly into traditional relationships — dating solely for marriage. It was all about meeting the right person, making sure they aligned with my family’s expectations, and following the script: courtship, introduction, wedding, and then, kids. That was the path, and I never questioned it.
Since moving to the UK, my perspective has shifted entirely. I don’t feel the same urgency to settle down anymore. Here, people approach relationships differently. It’s more about companionship and personal happiness than meeting societal expectations. No one is pressuring me to get married because I’m in my thirties. And for the first time, I’m asking myself, “Do I even want marriage the way I once thought I did?”
What’s been the biggest dating culture shock since you relocated?
The openness. Back home, relationships are very structured; you date, get engaged, and marry. But here, people explore different relationship structures, and it’s not seen as taboo.
I once went on a date with a woman who casually mentioned she was in an open relationship. She wasn’t sneaky about it; she was transparent and laid everything out on the table. That conversation blew my mind. I couldn’t imagine that happening in Nigeria, where even talking about non-traditional relationships is almost forbidden.
It’s not just polyamory, either. People date casually for years without feeling pressured to make it official. There’s also the culture of cohabitation before marriage, which is still a big deal in Nigeria. Here, it’s normal. You can live together and see if marriage even makes sense before making that commitment.
Have your relationship preferences or standards changed since moving?
Yes. I no longer see marriage as the only goal. I’m more open to different types of commitment, even if they’re not forever.
Before relocating, I saw relationships as a means to an end; you date to get married. Now, I understand that relationships can be valuable even if they don’t last a lifetime. I don’t feel guilty about exploring things without expecting it to lead to marriage.
If you could bring one thing from Nigerian dating culture to your new country, what would it be?
Family involvement. I used to complain about it in Nigeria because it felt overbearing, but now that I’m here, I kind of miss it. Relationships in the UK feel so detached from family life. You can date someone for years, and their parents might never know you exist.
In Nigeria, meeting the family is a huge step. Even if it comes with pressure, it also gives relationships a sense of community because you’re not just dating a person; you’re joining their entire world. Here, relationships can feel isolated, and I sometimes miss the closeness that comes with having family involved.
“I thought I was just dating, turns out I was a pathway to citizenship” — *Chiamaka, 30 (moved to Canada in 2019)
What was your dating life like in Nigeria, and how does it compare to where you are now?
I wasn’t really dating in Nigeria; it was just endless talking stages — the kind where you think you’re getting somewhere, but six months later, you realise you’re still in vibes and inshallah territory.
When I moved to Canada, I was excited to finally start dating properly. I thought, new country, new approach, fresh start! But it didn’t take long to realise that dating here comes with fine print. A lot of people aren’t just dating for romance; they’re looking for marriage as a means to secure their immigration status.
What’s been the biggest dating culture shock since you relocated?
The first time someone asked me if I’d consider marriage for papers, I actually laughed. I thought he was joking. He wasn’t. He had a complete presentation on how it would benefit both of us.
I’ve had multiple experiences like that, and I’m not even a Canadian citizen yet — I’m on my way there, but people already see me as a ticket to PR. It’s wild. Before I take anyone seriously, I have to ask myself: Does he actually like me, or does he want a Canadian passport?
And it’s not just Nigerians. Africans from other countries, even people from other continents, play this game. I once met a guy who was so into me. He seemed perfect — funny, attentive, good conversation. Then, two weeks in, he randomly asked if I’d consider “helping” someone get their papers. The way I blocked him so fast!
Have your relationship preferences or standards changed since moving?
100%. Back in Nigeria, I got into lots of situationships. If I liked you and we had chemistry, that was enough. But now, liking someone isn’t nearly enough. I ask myself if we’re compatible and want the same things in the long term.
There’s also the commitment issue. I used to be okay with casual relationships, but now, I’m much more intentional. I don’t have time for people who just want to enjoy the moment when I know they’re also scanning me for my residency status.
If you could bring one thing from Nigerian dating culture to your new country, what would it be?
Romantic audacity. Nigerian men may be stressful, but one thing about them? They chase you properly. They’re intentional. They don’t do this three-month talking stage nonsense. Here, people can text you forever without making a move. I once spoke to a guy for over seven weeks, but there was no plan to meet. I had to spell it out like, “Are we going to see or are we just pen pals?” Meanwhile, in Nigeria, a man will meet you today, ask you out tomorrow, and start calling you his wife by the weekend. It’s a lot, but at least it’s direct.
“Dating here is an extreme sport” — Jide, *34 (moved to the US in 2023)
What was your dating life like in Nigeria, and how does it compare to where you are now?
Back in Nigeria, dating was tricky, but at least it had structure. If you were lucky enough to find someone, things progressed through friendship groups and social circles. Everyone knew who was safe to approach, and we all moved with discretion.
Here in the US? It’s like a full-time job. There’s no natural flow to meeting people. Everyone is on dating apps, and if you don’t actively put yourself out there, you might as well retire from dating. I miss organic connections. I don’t want to swipe my way into a relationship; I want to meet someone naturally.
What’s been the biggest dating culture shock since you relocated?
People here date multiple people at the same time, and it’s normal. I once went on three dates with a guy and thought we were building something. Then, on the fourth date, he casually mentioned going on a weekend trip with another man he was dating. I nearly choked on my drink. In Nigeria, even unserious people pretend they’re exclusive. Here? You have to ask to be exclusive; even then, it’s not guaranteed.
I’ve also noticed that emotional availability is so different here. A lot of queer men in Nigeria, myself included, had to fight even to have relationships, so when we did find someone, we held on tight. Here, because there’s freedom to date openly, many people take it for granted — it’s casual and nonchalant. I wasn’t prepared for that.
Have your relationship preferences or standards changed since moving?
I used to be okay with taking things slow, but now? I need clarity. If I like you, I want to know where we stand immediately. No more six-month situationships where nobody knows what’s going on.
I’ve also lowered some of my expectations. In Nigeria, we had this romantic intensity because queer relationships were high-risk. Every moment mattered because we never knew when we’d have to return to pretending. Here, I’ve learned that relationships don’t always have to be that deep. Sometimes, people are just exploring. It’s been an adjustment.
If you could bring one thing from Nigerian dating culture to your new country, what would it be?
I guess it’s small romantic gestures. Nobody here does the “Have you eaten?” check-ins, and I miss that. In Nigeria, even when we couldn’t say certain things openly, we showed love through little things like buying food, sending money, and checking in during the day.
Here, people can go days without speaking to you, and it’s not seen as a problem. One time, I told a guy I was having a stressful day, and he just said, “Damn, that sucks.” No solution, no “Do you want to talk about it?” just “Damn.” I need a middle ground, the freedom of dating abroad but with the intentionality of Nigerian romance.
With the cost of living rising faster than incomes, many Nigerians are forced to make difficult financial choices. For context, essentials like food, internet, fuel, housing and transport now take up most of their earnings, leaving little room for anything else.
We spoke to six Nigerians about the sacrifices and adjustments they’re making to their daily lives and the strategies they’re using to survive in an increasingly challenging economy.
“I settled for budget perfumes over designer brands” — Samirah, 30, Pharmacist (₦350k/month)
“I love shopping for things that make me happy. It’s one of my favourite ways to unwind. But with skyrocketing prices, I’ve had to cut back. I used to spend at least ₦100k on new bags and shoes twice a year, but I haven’t bought new ones in two years.
Perfumes are the most painful sacrifices; I can no longer afford to smell rich. I used to have a solid perfume stash with at least six different scents, but my holy grail was Versace Bright Crystal. It was non-negotiable. My plug helped me import the original, and I’d been using the product religiously since 2018. Back then, it cost ₦28k, which was a bit pricey but totally worth it. Since I reserved it for special occasions, one bottle could last a year or two.
Over the years, the price increased — ₦28k, ₦40k, until it hit ₦57k in 2022. Still, I stretched my budget to buy it.
Then, in 2023, the price jumped to ₦70k. That was when I knew my smell-rich era was officially over. I checked the price again in January 2025, and it had skyrocketed to ₦128k.
Now, I make do with six Victoria’s Secret body sprays (₦4,500 per bottle) and two budget perfumes that cost ₦6k each. It helps me save money while still smelling good. But if I’m being honest, I still dream about my Bright Crystal now and then.
“I cut back on monthly hair maintenance and now style my natural hair every two weeks” —*Ire, 23, Sales Associate (₦150k/ Month)
In 2024, I spent ₦50k every month on beauty maintenance, no questions asked: ₦25k on hair, ₦20k on lash extensions, and on some months, ₦26k on nails. But when my monthly transport cost shot up to ₦40k towards the end of 2024, I had to rethink my entire budget.
Lash extensions were the first to go. I used to budget ₦20k for lunch at work and often eat at Chicken Republic, but now? Dem no born me well. On some days, I even skip lunch entirely.
I cut back on hair appointments and started styling my natural hair for ₦1k-₦2k every two weeks. Now, instead of monthly beauty maintenance, I space it out every three months. For the second quarter of 2025, I’m looking to spend around ₦60k altogether. I won’t lie; I miss the convenience, but beauty maintenance is now a quarterly luxury.
“If it’s not Titus, I’m not eating fish these days” — *Lola, 25, Office Assistant (₦150k/month)
Before my husband relocated in September 2024, salmon was the only fish we cooked in our stew. I never paid attention to the price because he handled that.
Then, one day in October, I walked into a supermarket and saw one piece priced at ₦21k.
No one needed to tell me twice. I headed straight to an open-air market and bought a kilo of Titus fish for ₦4,500. Six pieces, enough to last the week.
We also used to stock up on at least a dozen cans of sardines monthly. Now, I don’t even bother because one can is ₦1,200.
Between my salary and whatever money my husband sends. I have to make it work.
If it’s not Titus, I’m not eating fish these days.
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“I cut fast food by 80% and cook most of my meals” —*Muhammad, 24, Software Engineer (₦450k/Month)
To save money, I started buying data in bulk and cut fast food by 80%. Now, I’m forced to eat healthily.
My approach to spending is simple: I clear all major expenses early in the month so that whatever’s left is purely expendable. I split my budget into two categories: preplanned and unplanned expenses. If I see it coming, I budget for it. If I don’t, well, we move.
Preplanned expenses, such as fuel, foodstuffs, occasional clothing, and self-care, take about ₦110k monthly. Fuel takes up ₦50k/month, which is a large chunk of my income.
Food, internet, and fuel take up the largest chunk of my monthly income. Everything else is a “regular but not frequent” purchase.
I also budget for big purchases ahead of time. For example, I want to buy a ₦150k keyboard next month, so I’m saving towards it without touching my regular budget.
I mostly cook now but with fast food cut out. I eat less.
“I pass on expensive wigs and have stylists turn Weavon into low-budget wigs”— *Funmilayo, Writer, 24 (₦200k/Month)
When my salary comes in, I split it three ways: savings, expenses for the first few weeks, and a buffer for month-end, just in case my salary doesn’t arrive on time. Even with that system, it never quite feels like enough.
I used to braid my hair a lot, never taking a break between styles. But with hair extensions getting ridiculously expensive, I’ve had to find an alternative: low-budget wigs. The super double-drawn human pixie curl wigs and bone-straight bob beauties that cost ₦150K+ are out of reach.
So, I got creative. I bought a ₦7k pack of Weavon and paid a stylist₦5k to turn it into a wig. To my surprise, the quality was great — no tangling stress. I also found a decent bob wig for ₦12k, and I’m glad I found something that holds up.
“I switched from French skincare to Nigerian brands” — *Adetola, Urban Planner, 23 (200k/Month)
I used to take an Uber to work. It was just a 15-minute ride that cost between ₦1k and ₦1,500. These days, it’s keke or trekking all the way. I haven’t taken an Uber in months.
I bought a kilo of Turkey for ₦9k the first week of Ramadan. Since then, it’s been me and boiled eggs.
Skincare has taken a hit, too. I used to swear by the french La Roche-Posay face wash, but now, I use the Nigerian DANG’s Mandelic Acid face wash. Does it work? I have no idea.
But the real heartbreak is maintaining my dreadlocks.
My loctician charged me ₦60k for my last appointment. The thing is, these appointments used to be ₦30K. For a hot second, I considered cutting my hair. Imagine working 40 hours a week and still feeling priced out of maintaining my own freaking hair.
Also, I’ve downsized my perfumes to mini bottles. Although I love perfumes, full-size bottles have become a luxury.
Even at home, we feel it. My mum and I have this running joke: before she turns on the AC, she’ll call me to come and enjoy it with her. No more “Oops, I forgot to turn off the AC” before stepping out. You have to do the naira maths.
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Friendships, like relationships, can be beautiful, chaotic, and sometimes, downright disappointing. One minute, you have a ride-or-die, and the next, you’re questioning how you ever trusted them in the first place.
After seeing countless stories of best friends turned sworn enemies on social media, I reached out to some Nigerians who have been there, done that, and asked why they had to cut their closest friends off. Their stories prove that sometimes, letting go is the only option.
“She talks too much!” — Deborah*, 15
It’s one thing to have a talkative friend. It’s another to have a friend who talks so much they make you want to disappear. Deborah*, 15, shares:
“Ever since we got to SS1, it was like she couldn’t stop talking—about other people, her private life, things that didn’t concern her, just cho cho cho all the time. I think she wanted to seem more likeable to the other students, but even when I told her that all the oversharing was doing the opposite of what she intended, she didn’t listen. So, I kept my distance.”
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“She tried to swindle me” — Enitan*, 50
When money is involved, true colours will always show. In Enitan’s*, 50, case, it also involved the police showing face.
“I cut my closest friend off because she connived with my cousin to scam me. We had been close since secondary school, and even though we lived in different states, we did business together. Then, in 2010, she and my cousin convinced me to invest in a photocopy and printing business. But instead of setting up the business as agreed, they tried to run off with the capital. I had to involve the police to get my money back. As soon as I saw the alert, I cut them off. She still messages me on Facebook, begging for forgiveness, but I want nothing to do with her.”
“My best friend fell in love with me” — Dare*, 37
Best friends turning into lovers might sound romantic in movies, but for Dare*, 37, it was an awkward situation he couldn’t stomach.
“We became close friends in university, but our bond really deepened after school when we realised we had been posted to the same PPA in Abuja for NYSC. Everything was fine until 2018, when we were approaching 30, and she started talking about how we should just get married to each other. At first, I laughed because I thought she was joking, but she kept bringing it up. I explained that I liked our friendship as it was — without any romantic complications — but she didn’t take it well. She cried, said I had deceived her and even threatened to harm herself. For days after, she left hundreds of WhatsApp messages.
I was genuinely afraid. If anything happened to her, who would believe me? I lied at my PPA that I was sick and ran back to Calabar for a week. As soon as I landed, I blocked her everywhere. When I returned to Abuja, I avoided her altogether. It was incredibly awkward until my service year ended, and I moved to Oyo. We haven’t spoken since.”
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“He had anger issues, and I don’t like wahala” — Bimpe*, 26
Having a best friend with anger issues is one thing, but realising they might actually harm you? It’s time to pack your bags. Bimpe*, 26, stood on business. She shares:
“My former best friend and I had been tight since secondary school. He was a fighter back then because seniors always tried to bully him, so I never saw his willingness to beat people up as a red flag. Then in uni, in 2016, we had a silly argument over which Naruto character was better. This boy called me a stupid bitch, punched a wall, and threw a vase at my head. Because of anime? The next day, he tried to apologise over the phone. I said there was no problem, but I can count how many times I’ve spoken to him since that day. I don’t like wahala like that.”
“He never seemed happy when I was doing well” — Demilade*, 36
There are silent haters and then there are friends who don’t try to hide their envy when you win. Demilade*, 36, shares:
“My friend and I met during NYSC and bonded over our similar backgrounds and hunger for success in Lagos. Over time, I noticed that he wouldn’t even pretend to be happy for me whenever I shared good news. Instead, he’d get moody or post cryptic messages on WhatsApp about how “some people” think they are better than him, but his God would show them.
The last straw was getting accepted into a coding school. I was so excited to start my tech journey that I called him immediately. He dismissed it, saying it wasn’t a big deal since I wasn’t about to invent the next Microsoft. It rubbed me the wrong way, so I stopped reaching out. I still miss him, but he was moving really weird.”
