1. You and bae start a long distance relationship but you’re happy because you’ll have your own space and time.
You didn’t know it was going to really suck.
2. When you need a hug after a really long day but bae lives 1000km away.
It’s not cheating if I hug my gate man abi?
3. When they annoy you but can’t see how angry you are.
You’re lucky I can’t slap you through the phone.
4. When you’re trolling bae via text and they take it personal.
Na wa o, small play?
5. When you miss them and have to wait 6 months before getting to see them again.
I’m not crying.
6. You, when other people talk about hanging out with their bae.
Let’s hear word abeg.
7. When you go out with your friends and they bring their significant other.
Why evils?
8. When you want to drive all the way to surprise bae and you see the price of fuel.
My chest!
9. When you spend 3000 Naira recharge card on the phone with them in one night and it’s not enough.
Na wa o.
10. When you had to wait till 12am to talk to them during the time of free night calls.
Sleep is for the baeless.
11. You, when bae is turning up without you.
It’s not your fault.
12. When bae starts getting close to the boy/girl they told you not to worry about.
I’m coming to carry my thing abeg.
13. How you try hard to fight sleep when skyping with them because you’re not going to see their real face in a while.
I’m awake, my eyes are just closing on their own.
14. When you check your data balance after skyping with them.
Hay God!
15. When you find out you’re going to see them soon.
My heart!
16. You, the next time you see bae.
Yas!
In a world where everyone is angry and always ready to fight something or someone, it takes a lot to believe there is any kindness and love left to share.
However, Kenneth Nwadike Jr wants to turn things around, one hug at a time.
It all began at the annual Boston Marathon of 2014 which was only a year after the unfortunate bombing that happened during the previous year’s marathon.
Ken, who had been disqualified from the race after only 23 seconds held up a “Free Hugs” sign and offered hugs to the runners.
This move touched many of the runners because the Marathon meant a lot to most of them who had lost a lot during the 2013 marathon bombing. This inspired him to launch his Free Hugs Project as a means of spreading love and also tackling social issues.
Ken started running as a homeless teenager in high school and secured a scholarship to run Track and Field in college.
This was followed by a short professional running career with Nike Farm Team Olympic Development Program at Stanford Univeristy.
Together with his wife, Sabrina, he launched his own sports events company, Superhero events, based in San Diego.
They organise themed sports events which aim at not only charity but as a means of inspiring the runners into channeling their inner superhero for good. The events also promote general family fitness and health.
He recently took his campaign to various political rallies in Wisconsin and he met different responses at the Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders rallies.
A lot of the Trump supporters were outrightly racist and hostile, one of them threatened to punch him if he didn’t support Donald Trump. However, he was received with warmth and open hands by Bernie Sander’s supporters. This video moved people on Facebook to start the hashtag #MakeAmericaLoveAgain which is still trending at the moment.
People like Kenneth restore our faith in humanity with their efforts at making things around them better.
If a black man offering free hugs could be snubbed by Donald Trump’s supporters, we can only imagine how they treat Black men and women who work or live around them.
Gather round children!
After decades worth of heartbreak records in the bag and oceans of tears used to starch his demonic Agbada, something surprising happens.
A Yoruba demon finds the one!
But what will he do about it?
Like this Nollywood movie featuring Nigeria’s darling, Odunlade Adekola, this is what he would do.
He rouses from the depths of slumber and looks upon his newly found bae and “guidance angel”.
It must be at midnight, not at any other time! Maybe in better grammar sha.
He resolves to have a change of heart.
And stop all the plans of wickedness and heartbreak he initially had in stock for her.
And with tears of passion in his eyes…
He declares his love for her.
And decides to marry her.
And spend what is left of his demonic years with her.
Will he be haunted by the ghosts of all the hearts he has broken? Will his true colours shine through that dazzling agbada of his? We wait!
In two months, Mr and Mrs John who have been affected by war will mark the one year anniversary of their marriage.
War transcends the blood pumping action and excitement portrayed in movies. Rape, mass genocide and destruction are only a few of the things accompanied by war.
The ones who manage to survive war, never remain the same afterwards.
The deadly Boko Haram insurgency in 6 years has been responsible for the death of over 20,000 Nigerians and displacement of another 2.3 million people.
Not to mention the kidnapping of over 200 school girls, sexual abuse of women and children and the 1 million pupils currently out of school.
And even in the midst of so much strife and pain, this Nigerian couple managed to find and eventually seal their love.
The couple who had previously been engaged before getting separated by the war, reunited at the Cameroonian camp.
Hauna had fled to Cameroon while Ibrahim who was keen on his education stayed back to complete his final exams.
Their reunion was emotional and in Ibrahim’s words…
“It wasn’t easy for me to be separated from the one I love. But I had to be strong to pull myself together because I knew the separation was because of the Boko Haram attacks. So I had no option. The very first day we met in the camp, I could not resist her. I had to hold her to my cheek. Really it was a great moment that day. Heaven was very close to me that day
Hauna’s unhappiness and worries were put to rest when they reunited.
The married couple have plans to start their own family even without any steady means of income and challenges that await them while living in the refugee camp.
This goes to show that hope and love can still shine through during times of strife. However, there are thousands of other people who may never see their loved ones again. We hope the Boko Haram insurgency is completely eradicated soonest.
We gave you 10 hilarious reasons to marry an oyinbo person but what about the pros of marrying a Nigerian?
Nigerians are some of the happiest people in the entire world. Even with all the daily challenges. What could be better than spending the rest of one’s life with one of the happiest people in the world. If you need more reasons we’ve got it covered.
1. Nigerians are beautiful
Every tribe or culture boasts of the most beautiful people you will ever see. Both men and women are beauties to behold. The beautiful kids that will come about. And will have you like “look at God!”.
2. You will always be well fed
Nigerians know quite well that the way to the heart is through the belly most times. We could be classified as the “stomach welfare” country as we cook good food, and eat good food. Guaranteed you will never be hungry.
3. Always ready for anything
Nigerians have a saying “there is nothing that is coming from above, the ground cannot take”. We live by this so you can be rest assured that a Nigerian spouse can handle any challenge. How do you think we have coped with unstable electricity all this while.
4. Prepare to be spoiled
It is standard, when you are in a relationship with a Nigerian it will feel like the time of your life. Gifts, outings, trips, money for hair, gifts for his birthday. See Nigerians are simply the best.
5. Nigerians are always respectful and well trained
This is one huge forte of our people. They always give respect when it is due, whether it is to parents, in-laws, slightly elderly people or even dead people. See how much we respect other humans around us.
6. Nigerians always have an education and ambition
Nigerians are one of the most educated sets of people in the world. And any Nigerian you will come across has a substantial level of education and either strive to get more or is really ambitious. You know we have to make that money to impress our spouses and friends.
7. Nigerian weddings are the best
Wedding ceremonies in Nigeria are one of the best events you will see. From the introduction to the engagement, to the wedding and the reception, it is always live! The food, music, decor, traditional attires, emcees and a lot more is always a bauty to behold.
8. Nigerians are hardworking
This fact can not be stressed enough. This country boasts of the most hardworking people. Marrying someone who is hardworking guarantees that your every need will be catered to whether you are the husband or the wife.
9. Nigerians are romantic
Every tribe in Nigeria has endearing words for their loved ones. When a Nigerian is wooing or praising his or her spouse, it is indeed one of the best things to hear. From “Iyawo mi”, to “Omalicha nwa” there are a ton of them.
Nigerians have really stepped up the game in this aspect. Be sure that you being proposed to will be a very interesting event in an interesting place with the best photographers. What a way to set the pace for a marriage. What other reason would you want to marry a Nigerian?
What are the consequences of reading Zikoko? Definitely an unforgettable experience.
Can you relate to this when you read Zikoko? Share your own Zikoko list with us.
1. When all your friends are in relationships and nobody wants to hang out with you anymore.
All of you will soon break up.
2. Then you spot that fine boy.
I’m ready to devour you sir.
3. But you’re not sure if he’s a Yoruba demon.
If he’s a demon, then I’m a demon.
4. So you decide to send him a message.
Please don’t shatter my dreams, please don’t crush my heart.
5. Then he replies your message and subsequently falls into your trap.
HAHAHAHAHAHAPLEASEDATEMEHAHAHAHAAH
6. And you both fall in love with each other.
Bye bye single life!
7. When you have your first kiss.
Mills and boons where are my sparks?
8. Then you start to giggle each time you stare at your screen, and people look at you like you’re crazy.
Yes O. The spell of love. Don’t hate.
9. Then a random person starts flirting with bae.
Somebody wants to die.
10. You talk to bae about it and y’all have a huge fight.
Could this be the end?
11. Then people want to start toasting you randomly.
Where were all of you when I was single to stupor?
12. But deep down inside you miss bae.
What is this nonsense now?
13. So you decide to swallow your pride and apologise.
Ha ha. In your face haters!
14. And you have a long funny conversation afterwards.
Maybe the fight was worth the laughter.
15. Then bae has to go to school in another country.
Shebi they said absence makes the heart grow fonder. Then you remember ‘out of sight, out of mind’.
16. And you ask your parents if you can move there too and they say no.
*Cries in exchange rate*
17. And you wonder who sent you to fall in love.
I was on my own jeje and you came to love me.
18. And suddenly your life is an adaptation of Romeo and Juliet.
Who knew that heartbreak could hurt so much.
19. And you have to lay in a pool of your own tears.
At this rate, a swimming pool might be forming.
20. Then you remember your toasters.
Maybe it’s not the end of the world.
Written by Zikoko Contributor Barakat Sheriff
As an African woman, if you want to get a man, you can go anywhere. But if you want to be toasted properly, you need an Igbo man to do the honours.
And who better to teach this than Flavour…
Correct toasting! Watch Flavour & Juliana sing together on Coke Studio Africa below…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TaCUUHaxt5E
… and don’t forget you can watch more videos on the Coke Studio Africa YouTube Channel here or catch it on TV at any of the stations listed here.
