Do you want to win the heart of an Ibadan person? You have come to the right place. We will tell you everything you need to know, so that by the time you’re done reading this article, you would be ready to land your Ibadan lover.
1. Buy them amala from Amala Skye
Remember the popular saying, “The way to an Ibadan person’s heart is by putting amala in their stomachs”? It’s very true. Nothing says “I love you” to an ibadan person like sexy amala for breakfast.
2. Take them to Shoprite
For Ibadan people, going to Shoprite is like going on a romantic date. They love it. You don’t even have to buy anything. Just get there, take a picture in front of the Shoprite storefront and be going back home. Next step is marriage.
3. Crack that challenge joke for them
Me: “Don’t be scared when you face a challenge, it’s just a bus stop in Ibadan!” HAHAHAHA
My Ibadan girlfriend: Marry me now, or I will die.
4. Take them swimming at Kokodome
The water represents your love, and because they cannot swim, they are literally drowning in your love. Love nwantiti.
5. If you’re extremely serious, take them to Agodi Gardens
As you enter the gate at Agodi gardens, they will just be kneeling down to propose to you. No questions asked. It works every time like a glitch. You can win the heart of an Ibadan person easily with this.
6. Ask them “kínní sọ”
Kínní sọ is basically “What’s up”, but when you say it this way to an Ibadan person, they will know you love them for who they are and they will love you back.
7. Allow them curse people
Ibadan people like cursing. Please allow them. If you don’t allow them curse other people, it means you’re clipping their wings, and nobody wants to be in that type of relationship.
8. Take them to Ventura and pose with them by the water fountain
The water fountain at Ventura is more iconic than the Eiffel Tower, and that’s on Seyi Makinde.
9. If you want to be traditional, take them to Dugbe market
Let them shop for whatever they want and carry it home in a Bagco sack.
Before you catch feelings,, find out just how much toxicity is in your blood.
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Men, who are often considered the wreckers of relationships, are rarely considered as victims of heartbreak. I spoke to four Nigerian men about their experiences. Here’s what they had to say.
Bayo, 27
I’m always the one getting broken up with, so I have plenty of break up stories.
The first one dumped me for no reason. The second one met someone on Twitter and told me she wasn’t attracted to me anymore. She later found out the dude was engaged. The third one was asking me about marriage like a month after I moved to Lagos and because I told her I wasn’t thinking about marriage yet, she and her friends sent me a voice note calling me unprintable names. Last year, she reconnected and apologized and tried to rekindle the relationship. I later found out that at some point she tried to sleep with my best friend probably as a way to spite me.
But it’s the last one that pained me the most and the only relationship I ever regretted having. I really loved her but she was always paranoid because I was never jealous and we never got into fights. I always had to reassure her I wasn’t going anywhere. She had my phone password and replied to my messages. She would wake me up at 3 in the morning to comfort her till dawn. One time, I was hyping up my friends’ pictures and she got really mad because she thought I was flirting. She threw a tantrum and after I calmed her down, she said it was because she didn’t want to lose me.
One day, out of the blue, she asked if I had ever cheated on her. She begged and pleaded for me to tell her, that she wouldn’t get mad. I kept reassuring her that I didn’t. The next day, she called me, upset and crying. I sent her funny videos, memes, sang for her, all in a bid to cheer her up, but she kept crying. The next day, she broke up with me, saying she didn’t feel the same way anymore. I asked if it was my fault but she said “you were perfect,” but she just didn’t like me anymore. I was broken. She asked me not to hate her and she left me standing where I was. I know she cheated on me and broke up with me out of guilt.
No breakup has hurt me that much because I looked back and felt so stupid because of the way I had invested myself in the relationship. It nearly turned me into a horrible person but I decided not to give her the power.
Charles
I was in 100-level and this was my first proper girlfriend. She had stayed in my house for a couple of days and I had noticed she was moving funny and getting some strange calls. I’m not the type of guy to ask who was calling and all of that, so I let it slide. She told me she wanted to go meet her class rep to submit some assignments, blah blah blah.
A couple of hours later, a couple of my guys invited me to go drink beer at a popular hotel near UNILORIN. We had a few drinks and I needed to pee. The path that leads to the toilet goes past some of the hotel rooms. As I was walking past, one of the rooms had its windows open and in the corner of my eye, I saw some people fucking. Lo and behold, it was my babe. I couldn’t believe it. I was paralysed in shock but I left. When I was breaking up with her, I was so macho and being a bad guy about it but when she left I just curled up into a ball on my bed and cried my eyes out into my pillow. It was so painful.
Leke
In 2018, I was dating one short BBW. Things were going all lovey-dovey until we had one minor argument. I can’t even remember what the argument was about but I apologised immediately but she continued to give me an attitude. Normally, I wouldn’t be bothered about walking away but I had fallen madly in love with her. I kept going to her house to apologise but she wasn’t having it, saying she needed a break. One day, I was going to her house with gifts when I met her outside her house, kissing another man. The guy had his hands all wrapped around her and was even rubbing her body. I was devastated. She saw me, made eye contact and looked away. I wanted to die. As per gentlemen, I turned back and headed back to my house with my tail between my legs. I had never felt so broken. When I got home, everyone was asking if I was fine and I said I was but deep inside, I was hurting badly. I’m never going to give anyone the chance to do that to me again.
Dubem
We were in med school together and had dated for four years. We lived together in the last two years of med school and had so many plans and dreams for our future. Six months to my graduation, she started deleting my pictures from her Instagram. When I asked why, she said her father just joined and might see it. I didn’t think much of it because I trusted her. I finally graduated and left for Nigeria.
One day, she called and asked me, “What if there’s someone better for both of us out there?” I was dumbfounded and she went on to say she needed a break. I asked for how long and she said two weeks. When I called after the agreed time, she said the break was the best two weeks of her life. She also said she needed someone who will spoil her silly and I barely send her any money asides the 20k I regularly gave her from my 98k housemanship salary. I wished her all the best because there’s nothing wrong with her wanting better, but inside I was devastated. It took me some time, but I healed. She taught me that you should never settle for less than you think you deserve.
Loving a Nigerian babe can be hard if you don’t do it intentionally. But we have cracked that code. In this article, we provide you 12 solid points on intentional loving. Listen to us, and you’ll see how your love life will progress.
1. Buy her gifts.
It doesn’t matter if you go broke doing it. You are being intentional, and that intentionality will replenish your pockets.
2. Don’t buy her gifts.
Being intentional is not always about the gifts. Never forget that.
3. Give her attention.
Intentional loving is about paying attention to her. Even Tiwa Savage sang it. Who are you to disobey?
4. Focus on yourself.
Honestly, you can give her too much attention and she will accuse you of being insecure.
5. When she tweets about craving something, even as bants, step up and do the needful.
That shows you are taking note of her desires and you are intentional about seeing them satisfied.
6. When she tweets about craving something, even as bants, look away.
After all, it’s bants. Besides you can get them for her and she’ll say you are insinuating that she is materialistic.
7. When she is complaining about something, listen to her and ask questions.
Ask her to spill it all. Was she silent or was she silenced?
8. When she is complaining about something, just kiss her and say it’s okay.
Don’t ask questions. Don’t say anything except ehya. She probably just needs to rant.
9. Send her long epistles and fervent declarations of love.
All day, all night, remind her of your presence. Get your inner Shakespeare out and speak the language of love to her.
10. Don’t send her any epistles, please.
You better respect yourself. Who wants to date a sentimental man?
11. Give her space.
Learn to play hard to get. Women love a man who can keep them on their toes.
12. Don’t give her space.
Honestly, loving women intentionally is the simplest thing to do. Just know that it’s the little things. That’s what matters.
Is your spouse going to be romantic or will they be selfish? Take this quiz and we’ll tell you.
Few things are messier than catching feelings for your best friend. While it’s possible they feel the same way about you, it’s highly unlikely, and you end up with a broken heart and a friendship that never quite feels the same.
So, as someone who likes messiness, I asked a few Nigerians to share stories about falling in love with their best friends, and the experiences ranged from surprisingly adorable to painfully tragic.
Amy, 29
My best friend and I have known each other for over 15 years. People have always teased us about dating, but I just couldn’t see it. Then one day, I looked at him and realised I was attracted to him. The next thing I knew, I fell fast and hard. I actually thought I was losing my mind.
He had been in a relationship for years, so I didn’t want to say anything, but after like six months, I blurted it out. He seemed shocked and confused. I don’t remember exactly what he said, but he obviously mentioned his girlfriend. I told him he had to reject me outright, so the shame would snap me out of it.
I didn’t speak to him for months in an attempt to get over him, which was really hard because our lives are very interwoven. We randomly started speaking again, and there was no awkwardness. It’s been over two years since the big reveal, and while it comes up in passing from time to time, that’s about it. We’re good and back to normal.
Ehi, 27
We’ve been friends for over 10 years, and we do almost everything together. Even friends and family keep asking why we’re not dating. So, I finally decided to shoot my shot. I guess he didn’t want me to feel rejected, so he said he has issues with commitment, but I shouldn’t reject him if he ever comes back in the future for a relationship.
I cried for days because I realised how much I love him, but I had to accept my reality. It’s been hard remaining friends with him, but I have to constantly remind myself that he doesn’t feel the same, and it’s fine. I had to mute him on all my social media accounts because I can’t stand his interactions with women I know he’s sleeping with. Still, I show up whenever he needs me.
James, 26
We’ve been best friends for 5 years. He is the first person I told I was gay, and although he is straight, he was kind and supportive. I guess that’s one of the reasons I fell in love with him. A part of me knew he was just being nice whenever he complimented me, hugged me tightly or joked about how any guy would be lucky to have me, but I let myself believe he might feel the same way.
I eventually told him how I felt, and even though he let me down as nicely as he could have, it still broke my heart into a million pieces. He has been trying his best to make the friendship go back to normal, but it’s just too hard for me. It hurts so much. I hope I can move past this because I miss my best friend.
Esther, 27
We were friends in secondary school, l but I left in JSS 2. We met up again at university and became very close, very fast. The tension was there, but he was a “big boy” in school, and I hated attention, so I just stayed in my lane.
Fast forward to our second year, and I knew I had feelings for him, but I wasn’t sure if he felt the same way — he is a hard man to read. I eventually found the courage to tell him, and he was very mean about it. He said I had zoned him, so he didn’t understand what I was talking about.
I took my L and was very sad for a bit. We didn’t talk much after that. A few weeks later, he came to apologise for how he handled it. He said used to like me but had to stop when I started calling him my best friend.
We agreed that it wasn’t meant to be and decided to remain friends. It was very awkward at first because he started dating someone I knew, and I felt a little jealous, but it slowly became less awkward when I started dating someone too. We’re still friends, but it never went back to the way it was.
Chima, 23
We were seeking admission together, so we were in constant communication. That made the feelings I had held back in secondary school start bubbling back up. Even though we were now really close friends, I decided I was going to tell her how I felt.
So, we went on a walk one day, and I asked her, “Would you date your best or very close friend?” She first laughed out loud for like five minutes straight, then she said, “Why not?” In my mind, I was hailing myself for being a sharp guy.
A few days later, I went to her house and told her how I felt. She laughed and said she’d liked me since secondary school, but I always preferred her friends. She said it was too late for us to date because we are now too close. It hurt for a while, but we are now closer friends than ever.
Dami, 30
We were both in relationships at the time, but there had always been tension underneath our friendship. One day, we went for a party at a friend’s place, and while we were talking, he asked me, “Is this it? Is your boyfriend your last bus stop?” and I was like, “Yeah, he is. Unless you wanted to do something about it.”
Then I just word vomited how much I loved him and how this was the last time I was willing to lay it bare. He was like, “I love you a lot but not in the way you need me to”. I thought I was going to die. We ended up having sex in my friend’s bathroom and sort of moved past it. It was like breakup sex for a relationship that never was.
I’m really happy he turned me down because It would have ruined a really good friendship. It’s been three years, and while we still love each other a lot, we’re not in love with each other.
In February, I made a call for Nigerian women to share stories about their best ex. Annabelle was one of the women who sent in a story. When I shared the article on Twitter, a lot of people were curious about Annabelle’s story and she was willing to share. Here’s what she told me:
When I was 18, I got diagnosed with bone cancer. It was tough to deal with because I was in my first year of university. I struggled with pain and nausea at random points in the day. My friends were great. They would help me write my name on the attendance when I had to miss classes. A lot of money went into making sure I survived. Although my mum kept telling me that all I had to do was eat well and rest, I believed my doctors had told her how long I had to live. In the meantime, I wanted my own money. I started looking for jobs that paid students.
I was on the lookout for ushering jobs or gigs as a movie extra when I saw the opening for the role of a talk show host. I rehearsed my lines and anticipated the audition. On the day, however, nothing went the way I planned. I forgot my lines and stammered through the audition. I kept looking at the camera when I wasn’t supposed to. When the crew tried to correct me, I started crying. It was very embarrassing. At the end of it, a man walked up to me as I was arranging to leave. He asked if I knew who he was. I said, “No,” but I was curious about why he’d think I knew him. He didn’t explain himself, instead, he told me his name was Tobi Afolabi* and asked me to Google him. I was running late, so we exchanged numbers, but I kept thinking, “What the fuck is this one feeling like?” At home, I found out that he was a popular media personality in the north, and he was also the producer of the show I was auditioning for.
That night, he called, and we talked. I didn’t like him at first. I thought he was too old — he was 27, I was 19. I imagined that he would be boring, so I aired his texts a lot. Also, I was sick — I didn’t see the need to pursue any romantic relationship knowing it could end in pain for both parties. I had no hair and lost weight every day, so when he texted me things like, “You’re the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen,” I was sure he was lying.
When he was done with the show, he came back to town and asked to meet up. One afternoon in June, I went over to his place. He made us lunch and officially asked me to be his girlfriend. I told him I was dying and it would be unfair to date him. At some point, I started crying. He didn’t say much while I spoke. He listened and didn’t interrupt. He looked bored. I started feeling weird — how could he not be moved by my plight?
I went home late that day. My mum started yelling the minute she saw me. She was always shouting at me. I expected she would be nicer to me since I was sick but it was like she became worse. She would tell me, “It’s like you like being sick. You must enjoy the attention that it brings because you’re not even trying to fight it.”
That night Tobi called to ask if I had gotten home safely, and I started crying. I told him about my mother being mean to me and how my sister picks on me. He said nothing about it after I finished talking. He just asked if we could see the next day.
I went to his place the next day and after chilling for a while, I asked why he didn’t say anything about everything I had told him the previous day. He asked what I wanted him to say. I started crying again. He asked why I was crying, and when I told him he had hurt my feelings, he responded with, “Has crying fixed your feelings now?” He then told me that I loved to play the victim and that I think I have monopoly on grief. He said, “So what if you’re dying? At least you know it’s coming. Everyone is going to die eventually. You should take advantage of it and make each day count, instead of crying and whining all the time.”
I was too shocked to say anything to him. I carried myself home to cry. I don’t know how, but the next day, I went to see him again. I told him he hurt my feelings. He apologised, but he insisted that he wouldn’t take his words back. He said I had a rare opportunity to try everything I wanted to do before my time was up. He made me write a list of all the things I would like to do. My diet was quite strict so on my list, I wrote things like “I want to eat 20 bars of chocolate” and “I want to get drunk until I pass out”.
I was scared to travel because I didn’t want to have a seizure or blackout on the way, but Tobi made me travel with him a lot. Whenever he had a movie or wedding to shoot, he took me with him. He got used to my episodes — he could tell when one was coming even before I knew. He would talk to his doctor friend to get me new medication. If I complained of one discomfort, he would throw the drugs out and look for another one. My mum wasn’t like that — she gave me whatever the doctor gave me and didn’t care if they made me puke my brains out or lose my appetite. Tobi wanted to know everything. “Does this make your migraines better? Does your throat itch? Your tongue is a weird colour, let me have a closer look at it.” Soon he found a combination that I was fine with, then I had more energy to do things with him. We went hiking, we had picnics, we went to the cinema to see movies. Whenever someone was rude to me, he would insist I have my say. He told me it wasn’t healthy to hide my dissatisfaction. At first, it was hard for me to do that, but soon enough, when people stared at my hair for too long, I would ask if there was a problem. He made me feel like a different person — a normal, beautiful and happy person.
He introduced me to his family and they were nice to me. It was different because, in my family, we didn’t send each other like that.
He bought me things to help my moods like scented candles, chocolates and ointments. At this point, I was always wearing wigs because I was self-conscious about how I looked, so he bought me a lot of wigs, along with scarfs and hats.
He laced my drinks with painkillers. He introduced me to weed and it helped me feel better. I was in love with him, so I would have tried anything. One time in school, we were asked to read The Lion and The Jewel, but I was too weak to complete the task. It was one of my bad days. I kept throwing up and my body hurt when I moved. I was worried I was going to fail the course.
He came to my house that night with a new hard drive. I was like, “What the fuck kind of gift is this?” But when I plugged it into my system, I found that he made me an animation of The Lion and The Jewel. It’s still the most thoughtful gift I’ve ever received in my entire life. Of course, I passed the course.
The sex was the best thing ever. Before him, I was too shy to have sex completely naked. I would keep my shirt on and cover myself with a blanket, but he wasn’t having any of that. He kept emphasizing how beautiful I was. He said my dark skin was flawless, and he loved it.
Being with him made me feel powerful. I found myself trying to be like him — doing things the way he did them or talking like him. I noticed I stopped crying as often. I started going out without my wigs. One night, I returned home late and my mum started yelling at me. I told her, “Look, I have a lot of shit going on so maybe try asking what’s wrong with me and we can talk about it like adults.” As I was talking, my heart was beating. I was expecting one dirty slap, but she apologized. Our relationship improved after that. My sister stopped picking on me when she realised it wasn’t getting to me anymore — she would make a mean comment about my hair and I would laugh or agree with her. Eventually, I brought Tobi home to meet my family and everyone loved him. At this point, we had been dating for 3 years. When I graduated from university and got a job offer that required me to move. The first thing my mum said was, “How will Tobi feel about this?”
Being his girlfriend became my identity. People would send us invites to their events tagged Annabelle and Tobi. He gave me the key to his apartment. I could come over at any time and do whatever I wanted. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, so when I saw a ring in his wardrobe one day, I was overjoyed. I was so excited I called my friends and started screaming. I asked them if they knew about it, they said no. I decided to wait for him to ask me to marry him. I waited and waited but the question never came.
We would be having a nice moment and I would be expecting him to whip out the ring but it never happened. I got frustrated, but I couldn’t tell him what was wrong with me. After a while, I couldn’t find the ring in the wardrobe. I assumed he might have kept it for his friend or one of his clients. I went through his social media accounts, trying to see if any of his friends recently proposed, but I found nothing.
One day, we were arguing, about something so small I can’t remember, and he said, “It doesn’t matter — I’m marrying someone next month anyway.” I was shocked. We weren’t casually dating — we were planted deeply in each other’s lives. I would hear a joke or watch a movie and my first thought would be, “I can’t wait to tell Tobi about this.” So when he told me he was marrying someone else, I didn’t ask who, I asked how. “How did you have time to have a relationship with someone else when I’m with you all the time? Did she not see my fucking pictures everywhere? Did she not care that you’re in love with someone else?” I didn’t cry. . I just said, “Cool.” I didn’t want to play the victim, so I was supportive. He possibly expected a tantrum and when I didn’t give it to him, he didn’t know how to handle it.
I went to his house while he was at work to pack my things. When I was done, I gave the key to his security guard. When he got home and saw that my stuff was gone, he called me. I was casual like nothing happened, “Hey babe, how was your day?” I was having a mental breakdown but at least I was poised and sweet the entire time. When I saw that his wife was light-skinned, I cried. It felt like everything he said to me was a lie. I never asked him why he chose someone else or if I did anything wrong. He is married with four kids now. We still talk. He calls me now and then, but I don’t think I ever forgave him.
The dating scene Is a messy place and everyone has their spec. If you haven’t figured out what works for you, we’ve been generous enough to make a list.
1. People that have money
Money makes romance sweeter, to be honest. People will probably call you a gold-digger, but is it their gold you are digging? You better practice how to be a gold-digger today and stop suffering in silence. This is not Nollywood.
You should always be where the money resides boo
2. People that don’t have money
What they lack in funds they make-up for in creativity. Cute picnics, long walks, Netflix and chill, a compilation of funny memes, thoughtful gifts. These guys would spend if they had. Bear with them.
Yes, they come with a sprinkle of trauma but they will try anything new with you. These people were unsupervised in their formative years, jumping fences and eating beans with a dash of beetles. They fear nothing.
You’ll try every new restaurant that catches their fancy and can never complain that you’re hungry. When they walk into any restaurant the waiters are always happy to see them. Plus relationship weight = fat ass.
“My view, her view” pictures loading
5. People that wear crocs
These guys have hacked comfort clothes on another level. They have the softest hoodies and sweatpants just waiting for you to “borrow”. Date a crocs wearer today.
And that’s on good taste. Sponsored by crocs wearers association of Nigeria
