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  • The streets are crazy, but every now and again, you find someone sensible that doesn’t make you want to count all the sand on Elegushi Beach. Someone that makes you temporarily forget that sporting waves is now ₦7,100, spaghetti is ₦1,400, and your country is the weapon fashioned against you.

    We’re not saying you’ve met them yet, but when you do, these are the first dates you should take them on.

    Traffic navigation

    You need to test if they can hold your hand through the tough and difficult situations and guide you right. The best way to do that is by finding the tightest gathering of cars and helping everyone find their way out.

    Play bus driver and conductor

    We don’t know how you’ll find a bus for free, but when you do, hop in there with your almost bae and be the bus driver to their conductor.  You’ll earn money, see the city you’re in and find out if their social skills are in the gutter.

    Plan a heist 

    It really depends on the city you’re in. A heist would be great, but a regular robbery works just as well. Send them into any money making establishment of your choosing and stay right outside as their get away driver. You’ll show them how trustworthy you are and that your driving skills aren’t shit.

    RECOMMENDED: Budget Date Ideas According to the Alphabet 

    Spend the day in court

    You could watch trials and figure out which crimes you would get away with and why, or you could stand outside and give people unsolicited advice on how they can get their loved ones out of the kasala they’ve fallen into.

    Go to random construction sites 

    If you love art or you’re a very judgemental person, take your almost bae to a random construction site and critique everything, from the shape of the house, to the cement being used, to the way the workers are moving the materials.

    Follow cars around 

    If you have a car and enough fuel in it, get in there with the unfortunate soul that has fallen into your trap and just follow cars around. You’ll get to see what weird shit people get up to, or someone will get down from their car and ask you why you’re being a creep. Either way, you’ll both have an experience.

    Go to a wedding

    We suggest you attend a random one, where neither you or your date know the bride and groom, sit at the back and yell, “I object” when it’s time. You’ll add a lovely spark to people’s special day and possibly get your ass handed to you.

    Sip and paint

    Find a building that is already being painted and ask the painters if they’ll give you a section to work on. They might say no, but if they say yes, buy sachet gin, get into your most dispensable clothes and start working.

    Late night walks

    We suggest you only do this if you’ve spoken to potential bae long enough that you trust each other. Wake up at 11:50 p.m, get into your car, drive to your closest cemetery, wait till 2:50 a.m andjust walk around. Bonus points to your date if they caress the headstones while they walk.

    Go to the hospital

    Think of it like an excursion. Go to the hospital, sit in the waiting area and simply guess why everyone’s there. It’ll show how smart your date is and if you’re in safe hands.

  • Be mysterious

    You know how the housemates first showed up all sexy and mysterious, and leaving everything to your imagination? That’s how you need to be with your crush. They’ll be curious about you when they’re not sure who you are, what you are, or whether or not you even have sense. The best way to do this is to not talk too much.

    Flirt with them and stylishly ask if they have a partner

    Not because it matters to you or because it’s going to stop you anyway. But because you need to know early on if you have competition. So flirt with them a little and start dropping lines like “I don’t want anybody to come and beat me o”.

    If they do, snatch them

    If they say they do, go on the offensive and snatch them. Don’t worry about the relationship they already have. That’s just collateral damage. If they don’t want to be snatched, turn the whole thing into a love triangle like Yemi did with Blue Aiva and Khosi

    Become their listening ear

    You need to be the person they share their deepest secrets with. So they can let you in closer and closer until they’ve let their guard down completely. Do you see the way Marvin became Yaya’s listening ear and they’re now in love even though they’re both evicted? That’s what you need to do.

    Then tell them you’re related to Kiddwaya

    You can get their attention by just randomly dropping it in a conversation that you’re related to Kiddwaya and you don’t really need the money.

    Be a little toxic dramatic

    Have someone else on the side and flirt with them in your crush’s face, so they can feel a little peppered and pay you some attention. Your side piece doesn’t even have to be in on it. Just hold their hands with your sidepiece while hugging your crush. Give them the chaotic Yoruba demon energy that’ll get them interested.

    But love-bomb them with food

    You already have Big Brother’s kitchen to yourself. Love-bomb them with food till they forget their sense and start following you up and down. Confusion is your primary agenda. By the time you’re done, they’ll be posting Instagram stories of food saying “eggs aren’t egging without you” like Yaya did with Marvin.

    Do their laundry

    Offer to wash everything they own. Yes, everything including their underwear. That way, they’re sure you’ll do anything for them. You see how Ebube and Yvonne bonded when they did their laundry together, collect all your crush’s clothes and do everything while they get carried away with the talking.

    Give them your duvet

    Even if they already have one, give them your duvet so they can stay warm when it’s cold. Yes, we know it’s blazing hot these days but that doesn’t matter. Cold is coming and they’ll need more than one duvet. Love is all about sacrifice.

    Or just watch BBTitans on GOtv to learn all the other tips yourself

    There are just too many tactics for shooting your shots and we can’t just release all of them to you like that. So, watch the BBTitans show yourself so you can learn more and have fun. It’s showing on GOtv, and you don’t want to miss it.

    There’s only one week left on the show

    With everything we’ve shown you here, there’s still much more to learn, and you can only do that if you watch the show itself. It’s wrapping up in a week, so hurry and watch it on GOtv so that you can step up your shot-shooting game. Also, make sure you vote for your favourite housemate this week dutring the finale. You hear us?

  • Many things can go wrong on a first date: the waiter can turn out to be your ex who then “mistakenly” pours gbegiri on your shoe, or the beans you ate for breakfast decides to show itself. But unless you want to really test your village people, don’t wear any of these things.

    Your work T-shirt

    Unless you work with a tech company, in which case, feel free to let everyone know that your pocket is nobody’s mate. Purr.

    Sunglasses

    Unless the date is directly under the sun, what exactly are you trying to hide? Imagine telling a joke and not knowing if the other person likes it because you can’t read their expression.

    Ashawo shorts

    Man dem, we know the ladies love seeing you in ashawo shorts, but a first date isn’t the place to be opening your legs everywhere.

    Someone else’s clothes

    Imagine you then run into the owner’s ex and they get triggered at the sight of the jeans that Amaka never returned. 

    Hoodies

    This one is for the guys. If that hoodie is still in your possession at the end of the night, then Nigeria is the new Canada.

    Bodycon dresses

    Especially if you’ll be eating during the date, ladies. You wouldn’t want to be limited by ordinary cloth. Except you don’t mind looking six months pregnant, in which case, go off and do you, sis.

    Oud perfume

    Please, just don’t do it. We are tired. Sincerely, everybody.

    Your wedding ring

    We’re definitely not looking at men from a certain pepper-loving Nigerian tribe.

    NEXT READ: These People Will Ruin Your Surprise Proposal. Avoid Them

  • Navigating long-distance relationships can be really tough and figuring out how to involve your partner in your daily activities can also be a hard nut to crack. 

    We’ve helped put together a list of romantic ideas for people in long-distance relationships.

    1. Set up movie dates.

    Set up movie dates and sleep off during the movie. That’s what you’d have done if you were watching it physically with them anyway, so why not do it virtually too? Make sure you are on a call when the movie is on so they can hear the sound of your gentle breathing and feel like you are physically present with them. 

    12 virtual date ideas for long distance couples
    Image used for descriptive purpose

    2. Make playlists for each other.

    Making a playlist for your partner is a cheesy way to keep them thinking of you. It also lets them know the kind of music you are interested in and you guys get to share songs you both like. You can listen to the playlist together and do virtual karaoke.

    Listening to Music Mindfully | Greater Good In Education
    Image used for descriptive purpose.

    3. Virtually take each other to your favourite places.

    Virtually involve your partner in your favourite things. Take them to concerts with you, to art galleries with you, even the toilet. We know this doesn’t replace orgasms, but it makes them feel close and involved and that’s also nice. 

    4. Get random gifts and have them delivered to your partner.

    A random gift can involve a new child with the person you are sleeping with within your area code. A baby is a perfect “I saw this and thought of you”, after all, you kuku call your partner baby and a physical baby will make you feel closer to them. We all know children are a gift. 

    5. Reassure them that distance isn’t an issue and remind them of how much you love them. 

    Reassure them that even though you are sleeping with not less than 10 people in your area code, they are still the 1 for you. Let them know distance won’t make you stop loving them and many other people.

    6. Buy them sex toys.

    Buying them sex toys means only one person in that relationship gets to have sex with other people and you have taken up that very hard task. How are they going to love you less when they know you are doing a lot of heavy lifting? 

    TRYST V2 Bendable Multi Erogenous Zone Massager with Remote – Bliss for Women

    7. Do a little prostitution to raise enough money to travel to meet up with your partner.

    Emphasis on a little prostitution. The level of the prostitution must not be high enough to make you catch feelings for the person you are prostituting with, you must keep the endgame at the back of your mind. Only prostitute to raise money to meet your partner wherever they are. 

  • Wondering how much you should spend on a date? Take this quiz and we’ll tell you:

  • Whether you’re in a relationship, out of one, or just somewhere in-between, dates are something we all agree can be cute and memorable if done right.

    We asked five Nigerian men to tell us about the best dates they’ve been on. Here’s what they said:

    1. Franklin

    To be honest, the only dates that I’ve been on that women planned have majorly just involved getting food in nice restaurants. I love going out to eat, don’t get me wrong, but shey another thing no dey? Every other date where I’ve had multiple activities has been planned by me. My favourite has to be one of my most spontaneous dates — We got talking that same day and not long after, we went to get food. We ended up talking for hours and in the end, we both didn’t want to leave because it was that fun, so we just drove around Lagos well into the night. Just talking.

    2. David

    The best date I’ve been on was with a mutual on a WhatsApp group. We had been chatting for about a week and I was in their neighbourhood so I decided to reach out. They came out from their shared work apartment and we went to see a movie together. They paid, and in the course of the movie, we made out. The best part of it was going to Cold Stone after the movie. We didn’t buy anything. We just sat down from noon and had some really great conversations up until 7 p.m. It wasn’t planned, but it was worth it.

    Nigerian men on dates

    3. Saed

    The first sign that I got that this babe was good vibes was that she liked football. Finding a white Canadian babe that liked football was intriguing for me so I was already fascinated by her. At that time, Zlatan Ibrahimovic was still in LA Galaxy Football Club and he was coming to Vancouver to play against a team here, so I invited her to watch the game with me. I got us VIP tickets to the stadium and we had fun watching the game. Zlatan scored — that was the highlight of the date for me.

    After the game, we went to a pub to watch the Toronto Raptors win their game too. The entire city was vibrant that day. People were out having little get-togethers and giving out free food and drinks, and then there was a great sunset too. After all of this, we went to a Greek restaurant to get food and drinks, and in the background, Burna Boy was playing. This babe started singing along to Burna Boy as well. It was surreal. The conversations we had that day were super lit too.

    We ended up going to a Burna Boy concert together two weeks later, but that was where things slowed down. From there, we just ended up being friends.

    4. Wisdom

    It was three days to my birthday last year and I told a babe I just became friends with that my guys were coming to my house to celebrate with me. A few hours later, she showed up with a cake, chin-chin, popcorn and zobo. It was so much after my friends had eaten, I had to give her some to take back home. On my actual birthday, she came to my house with two cakes too. I was amazed. We eventually started dating.

    I was working at a sports centre that had a swimming pool at the time, and during the #EndSARS protests, we closed because there was a lot of uncertainty. Because I knew the place would be free, I stayed there overnight and told her to come the next day. By 6:40 a.m., she was there with freshly cooked meals. On my end, I had some desserts.

    First of all, we had the pool to ourselves so we swam naked, and then we ate, and then we drank and then we had some of the best sex ever, and then we had an amazing conversation. I felt like I was out of this world.

    Nigerian Men Talk About The Best Dates They've Been On

    5. Kunle

    I once went on a date where all we did was sit at the back of a movie theatre, drink straight vodka from the bottle and stone people with popcorn. Nobody caught us. It was mad fun.

    Let me not lie, I wanted us to have sex after o, but when we got to her apartment and I made a move, she told me she wasn’t interested. Omo.

    *Names have been changed for anonymity.

    QUIZ: How Desirable Are You?

  • Finding the one for you is not an easy feat, it gets harder when you are a sapiosexual who wants to be with someone who thinks like you. In order to know if they are right for you, we advise you to ask them the following questions on your first date. Here’s a list of questions to ask on a first date to be sure you’ve found the one:

    1.The date of birth of Queen Elizabeth’s grandmother.

    Are they really the one for you, if they don’t know royal history to the T?. You need to be with someone who keeps track of history, both local and international.

    2.If there are 10 birds on a tree and you shoot one, how many will remain?.

    This is to test their knowledge of mathematics. A person that does not understand mathematics, how can you expect them to calculate the density of your affection for them?

    3.All the laws in Nigeria.

    Anyone who doesn’t know this is clearly lawless and disobedient. Every Nigerian, in Nigeria or not, should know every law in Nigeria. Do not text them back if they don’t know this. You shouldn’t be in a relationship with a lawless person.

    4.The name of every Nigerian musician ever.

    This question is neither hard nor impossible to answer, except your date is not a fun or outgoing person. They need to know the answer to this question, it’s proof of balance.

    5.The name of every political leader in Nigeria.

    Knowing the laws of the land is not enough, they need to know the names of the people in charge of implementing them. This shows passion and dedication. If they are passionate and dedicated to Nigeria, they’ll be passionate and dedicated to your relationship.

    6.The type of underwear Buhari wears.

    If she does not know intimate details about her country’s president, who is to say she will know intimate details about you?. She needs to know if he wears boxers, shorts or pants, so she can buy something similar for you. Her president.

    7.Ask them to spell OriginalDangbanaChoko.

    This is the only way to know if they passed English in WAEC or if they carried expo.

    8.If a house is burning, who will they save. You or their mum?.

    If they chose their mum, it already means they already hate you. Do they mean they love someone else more than they love you?. If that be the case, they should go and be in a relationship with their mum.

    9.The country the first Olympics took place.

    The Olympics is coming up soon and everyone is scrambling to learn everything about it. It would be a shame if they don’t know the answer to your question. You are allowed to not call them back if they don’t know such trivial information. If they are not up to date on sports events, they won’t be up to date in a relationship.

    10. Who deserves the front seat between them and your mum?.

    If they chose themselves, it means they have no respect. Those type of people would tell you to put your mum in the boot of the car.

  • Are you staggeringly confident or incredibly shy on first dates? Maybe you don’t even like dates at all.

    Take this quiz to find out:

  • What are the foods and drinks that enhance libido? Ah, we have answers! 🥳 Today on Ranked, we bring you the low-down on foods and drinks that will help increase your sex drive. Feel free to include them in your diet if you want to get your groove on.

    For today’s rankings, you can disregard the positions.

    1. Watermelon

    Watermelon is rich in an amino acid called citrulline. This relaxes and dilates blood vessels that help increase sex drive. Y’all know what that means? ​🌚

    2. Coconut Water

    Raise your hand if you believe drinking coconut water will make you a blockhead. Apparently, our good sis here contains nutrients that are beneficial to getting a climax. I guess that’s why they changed her PR before we discovered her potential.

    3. Banana

    This one isn’t shaped like a penis for nothing. We stan a fruit that lives a life aligned with its purpose. Eat it if you want to increase your energy level, boost semen and aid erection. It’s really a holy trinity of pleasure.

    Dear Foreigners, Here Are 15 Foods To Try When You Visit Nigeria

    4. Dark Chocolate

    LMAO don’t you ever wonder why dark chocolate is included as part of a Valentine’s day package? This hunk right here stimulates the body’s production of serotonin and Dopamine, and when these two things are in, then you know the gbedu is about to enter body.

    5. Red Wine

    Here’s the thing about Red Wine: it boosts testosterone. That’s not all. Red Wine also makes you horny. Why else do you think some women say the wine went straight down to their pum-pum? Ah, we see y’all. Keep doing the good work.

    6. Dates

    Dates have been used as aphrodisiac and is known to improve sexual stamina, libido and your performance. Quick tip: You can soak dates in milk overnight and drink it the next morning. Or maybe include it in your smoothie. Ouuuuuuu 💦

    7. Tigernut Milk

    This one is key for sexual arousal. It also helps you last longer in bed. And the sellers know it too. This one is between me and you: combine date, banana and tigernut together, and drink it. See if you will not come back and share your story on Zikoko’s #SexLife.

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