• 1. First and foremost, lose your useless accent if you don’t want to do yourself.

    It cannot help your case.

    2. Refine your pidgin game so they know you’re hardcore.

    Because you’re from the streets!

    3. No need to slay with your dressing, this is not a red carpet show.

    Search for the worst combination in your wardrobe.

    4. Prepare your self to price like a pro.

    This is war!

    5. Eat everything you see before leaving the house.

    For added strength and stamina.

    6. When they call price, divide it by 3 and tell them that’s what you’re paying.

    Shake your purse so they’ll see it’s very empty.

    7. If they don’t agree, throw it in their faces and walk with shakara to someone else.

    Do as you please!

    8. If the other person is not having sense too, let them know.

    Why are they carrying shoulder?

    9. Settle on the one trader that finally agrees.

    Because he has more sense.

    10. Make him your new best friend.

    Number 1 padi!
  • 1. Your wardrobe needs serious pimping so you go to the most legit boutique in Lagos.

    Time to glo up!

    2. When you realise you’re going to spend the whole day trekking through the market.

    Tired in advance.

    3. When someone calls you fine girl with no pimples.

    Oh my!

    4. When they start pulling you to come and buy orange and gold leggings.

    I’m not buying abeg.

    5. When someone insults you because you asked them not to grab you.

    Is your uncle alright?

    6. When a seller tells you the top is a ‘pinging’ top.

    Which one is pinging again?

    7. Balogun market traders and “I get stock top”.

    LOL!

    8. When everything is so fine, you just want to take them all home.

    Can I just take everything please?

    9. When you go to Balogun market during Christmas season.

    Hay God!

    10. When they say ‘make I go bring am for our second shop’ but keep you waiting for hours.

    Na wa oh!

    11. When you want to start pricing a top and the seller says ‘you can’t afford this one’.

    Don’t be angry now.

    12. You, after seeing a top you just bought hanging in ten different shops.

    *Cries in popular demand*

    13. When people say they bought a bag for $14,000 and you see the same bag for 3,000 Naira.

    Who original don epp?

    14. When they try to convince you to buy a size 12 dress but you’re size 8.

    See this one.

    15. When you see the shoes you bought 10k online going for 2k at Balogun market.

    Chisos, see scam!

    16. How you drag yourself home after spending the whole day at the market.

    Worth it!

    17. When you wear your new clothes and get several compliments.

    Yas!