Sunken Ships: What’s Friendship Without Trust?

September 17, 2022

Sunken Ships is a Zikoko series that explores the how and why of the end of all relationships — familial, romantic or just good old friendships.

Halimat* and Aisha* (both 21) live in the same estate, are from the same state and once shared the same interests. So they were bound to be friends. But after four years, distance strained the relationship and an act of mistrust caused it to end. 

How did you meet? 

Halimat: My aunt had a shop in the estate where I lived. I occasionally helped her out, and it allowed me to meet a lot of people in the estate. Aisha was one of them. She was my age, and we were from the same state, so we kind of gravitated towards each other. We eventually got pretty close.

How close and why?

Halimat: Apart from the age and state thing, we had other things in common. We both went to Islamic schools, and our love for American music and YA novels made us outcasts there. Plus, we lived two minutes apart. We were able to see each other whenever we wanted. 

We’d run errands together, listen to our favourite songs and talk about books. It was nice to have someone to share these things with since most of the other girls my age didn’t want to talk about things like that. There was a time we trekked the whole estate together because we were bored. I loved us doing silly things like that, and she felt like a sister. 

That sounds great, but you’re here so something must have happened

Halimat: When it was time for us to enter universities, I got admission, but she didn’t. So I had to travel for school while she stayed back at home to do her A levels. One of my biggest flaws is once I can’t see you, I don’t care about you. Out of sight, out of mind.

She was also really busy with her A levels and the first year of university, studying Biology, was after my life. It was a new environment with very stressful courses. Whatever time I wasn’t using to study and attend classes, I was trying to rest. 

The few times we did have a conversation, it was confusing. She’d reference people she met during her A levels, and I’d talk about people in school; we were out of the loop in each other’s lives. We went from seeing each other every day to barely speaking at all.

When ASUU went on strike, I thought that would remedy the situation, and I’d get my friend back.

RELATED: Sunken Ships: I Lost My Best Friend and I Blame Nigeria

Why didn’t it?

Halimat: The first problem was I’d become a lot less lax with Islam. I stopped covering my hair and was very vocal about never doing that again. She, on the other hand, was still very modest. We still had the same interests so I could let some of her comments about me not covering my hair slide. 

When I got back home, she came to my house, and we spent some time in the living room catching up. I told her about all the things that happened that session, and I included travelling to another state to see my friend. To put things into perspective, the trip cost me ₦1k, and I did it because there was a writing workshop in that state and my friend offered to house me. 

When I told Aisha this, she blew up in my face, shouting at me for being careless and things like that. I was so confused because she was the same girl who travelled to see her boyfriend. What gave her the authority to speak to me in that manner? But I brushed it off and went to the kitchen to cook. 

What happened next? 

Halimat: Ten minutes after the conversation, my mum called me to the living room and started shouting at me, telling me the roads weren’t safe and I was putting my life at risk. I was confused at first, then angry. I’d taken those same “unsafe” roads for my grandma’s burial she wanted me to attend. So why was this different? 

I didn’t say anything to her because of how angry I was. Afterwards, Aishat told me she only told my mum because she “cared”, but I wasn’t buying it. I told her something because I trusted her, not so she could tell my mum my business. 

So you didn’t speak to her again?

Halimat: I did, but not by choice. A couple of days after the incident, my mother forced me to go to Aishat’s house to talk to her. Aishat had apparently been talking to her own mother about how I’ve refused to speak to her. 

When I got to the house, her mother tried to remind us we were more than just friends, but I wasn’t interested in what they were selling. I spent very little time there and got back home. I told my other best friend about the situation, and he went to confront her. She got very angry because I was talking to other people about what she did, but I didn’t care for her anger. 

What did you do? 

Halimat: Nothing. I wouldn’t apologise because she’d betrayed my trust, and as a result, had forfeited any right she had over me. 

Fair. Did she ever apologise? 

Halimat: Once they called off the strike a couple of months later, she texted me that she doesn’t beg people who are angry with her, but she was putting her pride aside because she rates me. I told her congratulations and blocked her. That was such a half-assed apology; it annoyed me even more.

Did you talk again after then? 

Halimat: Three years later, when my dad died, she came to my house for a condolence visit. It felt like she was trying to rekindle something, but I wasn’t interested. Not just because of what happened, but because I’d gotten tired of all the condolence visits. She stayed for 30 minutes, and it was awkward for everyone involved. 

Do you think you’d ever be friends again? 

Halimat: I don’t think so. I find it hard to trust people completely, but I trusted her and look what she did. I’ve forgiven her, but I’d never forget. 

RELATED: Sunken Ships: Her Jealousy Almost Ruined My Life

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

June 12, 2021

Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians. The subject of today’s Sex Life is a heterosexual 25-year-old man who became obsessed with penises when he realised his penis was small. He talks about how having a small penis affects his […]

valentine's day gifts underwear, sex, hamper
February 13, 2020

After creating a quiz that revealed how you’ll be spending Valentine’s Day, we’re now here to tell what gift you should expect on that very stressful day. From lazy hampers to affordable underwear, this quiz knows the main gift you’ll get on February 14. Take to find out: #ICYMI: We made a new show named Blind Date in […]


Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

November 4, 2019

After successfully predicting when y’all are getting married (please, email any complaints to, we are back to tell you how much is currently in your account. How, you might ask? By using your taste in Nollywood, of course. Shhh. No questions. Just take it already:

November 7, 2019

These days, everyone is always talking about how much sex they’re getting, or how little sex they’re getting, or how disgusting sex is etc. There’s just so much talk about sex, it’s almost impossible to know who’s lying and who’s telling the truth. In anticipation of our new series about the sex lives of young […]

January 2, 2020

Do you have even a single romantic bone in your body? Well, if you’re not sure about just how sweet and thoughtful you can be to someone you love, that’s what this quiz is here to answer. 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are Ready To Marry  Are you ready to marry? Take these quizzes.

June 14, 2020

Have you ever been with someone so horrible that you swore to never date again? Yes? Well, do you know that one or more of your exes probably feels the same way about you? You never thought about that, huh? Thankfully, this quiz is here to let you know just how much of a hassle […]

November 11, 2019

Everyone has something to say about what kind of person they are. But how well do we truthfully evaluate these things? Not that much, I can assure you. The average person is always lying to themselves to make sure they look good. But you know what and who doesn’t lie? Zikoko quizzes that’s what. Take […]

November 20, 2019

Last month, we thoughtfully made a quiz telling you guys exactly when you’ll marry, but some of you claimed that your spouse was nowhere to be found. Well, now we’ve created one that’ll tell you exactly who you’ll be dragging down that aisle. Take and start planning that wedding: 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are […]

More from Ships

January 19, 2023

The subjects of this week’s Zikoko’s Love Life Lade(22) and Leah(23) tell us about leaving their partners to be with each other. They also share with us what led to their one-hour breakup and moving to be closer to each other. 

January 17, 2023

This week’s #LoveCurrency subject, Alexei*, is a 26-year-old queer man with a partner 15 years older earning enough to spend Alexei’s salary in one night. Here he shares the misconceptions about their relationship and how he gets away with being poor through the power of gifting. 

January 14, 2023

The subjects of this Sunken Ships, Eno* (23) and Emem* (21), share how love wasn’t enough in their relationship. They talk to us about the situations surrounding their breakup, choosing to remain friends and thoughts on getting back together. 


Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.