6 Ways To Choose The Perfect Partner From A Long List Of Options

October 23, 2021

Choosing the perfect partner can sometimes be an extreme task for a bad bitch like you and that’s why we are here to help you solve that problem.

Brace yourself, babes. Here’s what to do. 

1. Make a list of most attractive to least attractive. 

This might be a little difficult, especially if you have really good taste, but there’ll definitely be someone on that list who is finer than the other person. It’s best to choose the least attractive person — you can trust that one to not cheat on you. 

2. Wear a blindfold, arrange them in a straight line and throw a knife.

Anyone the knife touches is your partner. The fact that the knife didn’t kill them means they are strong enough to be with you and they are the perfect partner for you. It also means they are going to willingly lay down their life for you.

3. Write out their names on different strips of paper and put it in a bowl of water.

The paper that doesn’t sink has the name of the person that’s for you. Their name not sinking means they can withstand anything that comes their way and they will make sure your relationship with them never sinks. 

4. Create your version of the squid game and make all of them participate. 

You’ll know how serious each of them is by their willingness to participate in the game and how far they’ll fight for your love. The last person standing when the games are over is obviously the one you should spend the rest of your life with. 

5. Ask them; If a house is burning, who will they save. You or their mum?

Anyone who says they’ll save their mum clearly doesn’t love you. Why are they saving their mum who has lived a full life over saving you? Saving their mums over you means they have been lying the whole time about how they feel. 

6. Take their names to a Babalawo and tell him to show you your future partner.

Take their names to a Babalawo to tell you who you’ll end up with. 

N.B: This should always be your last resort.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

February 27, 2021

The subject of this week’s Sex Life is a 39-year-old heterosexual man who was celibate for almost a decade before he got married. He talks about his wild sexual past and how he thinks that might be stopping him from fully enjoying married sex.

July 19, 2021

Dating your coworker can be tricky because if it ends in tears, you might end up jobless. Here’s a guide to making sure that doesn’t happen to you.  1.Check if they wear a ring often It is one thing to date a coworker and another thing to date someone else’s partner. If their relationship is […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

November 22, 2019

It can be very stressful when you’re trying to find the love of your life, but you only keep meeting people that are exactly like your yeye ex. To help you be more aware of that problem, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know the kind of people you are attracting. Take it to […]

September 1, 2021

August is over, and here are some of our best quizzes from August. Enjoy: 1. QUIZ: Only Ajebutters Can Get 10/21 On This Quiz Some people like to form ajepako when they’re really ajebutter. Are you one of them? Let’s find out. 2. QUIZ: Sorry, If You’re Under 25 There’s No Way You Can Pass […]

November 11, 2019

Everyone has something to say about what kind of person they are. But how well do we truthfully evaluate these things? Not that much, I can assure you. The average person is always lying to themselves to make sure they look good. But you know what and who doesn’t lie? Zikoko quizzes that’s what. Take […]

November 28, 2019

There are so many talented and stunning Nollywood actors that make it hard not to fall in love with them. So, while we all know the likelihood of us ending up with any of them is super low, it’s still fun to imagine a world where we actually stood a chance, and that’s why this […]

November 27, 2019

Do you have a face that could make angels jealous, or should you really be walking around with a nylon bag over your head so you don’t scare children? Well, this quiz is here to answer that by telling you exactly how good-looking you are. Take and find out: 11 Quizzes For People Who Aren’t […]

More from Ships

November 20, 2021

The subject of today’s sex life is a 19-year-old lesbian who has had sex with over 200 people. She talks about starting her BDSM journey at 13 , experimenting in boarding school with ropes and canes, and finally slowing down because she found love.

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X