“Aftercare” is a term that originally came from the BDSM community. It defines the care shown to a lover before, during, and after sexual encounters. Basically, it’s a mutual check-in between sexual partners. The concept of aftercare transcends the BDSM community these days because everyone deserves care in their relationship. Sex is a pleasurable activity that leaves us feeling vulnerable, and whether it’s in a casual relationship or a committed one, aftercare is a way to show your partner you care about them.
Here’s a list of ways you can practice aftercare with your partner:
Sending a check-in text
This is the bare minimum. Even if your partner is the type to run off before daybreak, you can still send a check-in text to make sure they are okay. This shows that you value them and the experience you two shared.
Cuddling is an intimate affair that communicates care for one other. It releases the oxytocin hormone which helps to reduce stress. Everybody should cuddle their lovers more — one night stands or not — with their consent, of course.
Talking about sex
Talking about sex is a great way to build intimacy in a relationship. Tell your partner what you liked, what you didn’t enjoy, and why. That way, they get to know you better, and it helps to affirm both partners. It might even lead to another round.
Washing sex toys together
If you and your partner(s) use toys, washing them together is another great way to build intimacy and practice aftercare. You can also talk about the sex while you’re at it to build the tension.
Watching a movie together
Cuddling and watching a movie together is another effective way to practice aftercare. It’s a lighthearted activity that can help calm you down if the sex was particularly intense.
Cooking is a great bonding activity. It shows a person that you value their company and like to spend time with them outside sex. You’ll definitely be getting a call back if you do this right.
This works for the same reason cuddling does. Sleeping next to someone who has felt your insides (or vice versa) can induce happy feelings and might lead to more sex. Don’t say we don’t do anything for you.
In the end, aftercare is just a way to make sure you’re not being an ass to people you’re being intimate with. To learn more about intimacy, read this article on sex positions you absolutely have to try.
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