9 Ways to Practice Aftercare With Your Lover

May 10, 2022

“Aftercare” is a term that originally came from the BDSM community. It defines the care shown to a lover before, during, and after sexual encounters. Basically, it’s a mutual check-in between sexual partners. The concept of aftercare transcends the BDSM community these days because everyone deserves care in their relationship. Sex is a pleasurable activity that leaves us feeling vulnerable, and whether it’s in a casual relationship or a committed one, aftercare is a way to show your partner you care about them. 

Here’s a list of ways you can practice aftercare with your partner: 

Sending a check-in text 

This is the bare minimum. Even if your partner is the type to run off before daybreak, you can still send a check-in text to make sure they are okay. This shows that you value them and the experience you two shared.

RELATED: The 10 Horniest Emojis Nigerians Use in Texting

Cuddling 

Cuddling is an intimate affair that communicates care for one other. It releases the oxytocin hormone which helps to reduce stress. Everybody should cuddle their lovers more — one night stands or not — with their consent, of course. 

Talking about sex 

Talking about sex is a great way to build intimacy in a relationship. Tell your partner what you liked, what you didn’t enjoy, and why. That way, they get to know you better, and it helps to affirm both partners. It might even lead to another round. 

Washing sex toys together 

If you and your partner(s) use toys, washing them together is another great way to build intimacy and practice aftercare. You can also talk about the sex while you’re at it to build the tension. 

RELATED: 7 Sex Toys Every Woman Should Have, According to Amina Soul

Watching a movie together 

Cuddling and watching a movie together is another effective way to practice aftercare. It’s a lighthearted activity that can help calm you down if the sex was particularly intense. 

Cooking together 

Cooking is a great bonding activity. It shows a person that you value their company and like to spend time with them outside sex. You’ll definitely be getting a call back if you do this right. 

Sleeping together 

This works for the same reason cuddling does. Sleeping next to someone who has felt your insides (or vice versa) can induce happy feelings and might lead to more sex. Don’t say we don’t do anything for you.


In the end, aftercare is just a way to make sure you’re not being an ass to people you’re being intimate with. To learn more about intimacy, read this article on sex positions you absolutely have to try.

Zikoko is launching a new series where we explore those friendships, familial and romantic relationships that are no longer sailing.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

April 21, 2020

A kink is defined as an unconventional sexual taste or behaviour, and they vary from person to person. So, we’ve created a quiz that will guess which of the most popular kinks — from bondage to group sex — turns you on the most. Take to find out:

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

November 28, 2019

There are so many talented and stunning Nollywood actors that make it hard not to fall in love with them. So, while we all know the likelihood of us ending up with any of them is super low, it’s still fun to imagine a world where we actually stood a chance, and that’s why this […]

November 4, 2019

After successfully predicting when y’all are getting married (please, email any complaints to noneofourbusiness@nayousabi.com), we are back to tell you how much is currently in your account. How, you might ask? By using your taste in Nollywood, of course. Shhh. No questions. Just take it already:

November 1, 2019

Twitter is buzzing right now, bringing a new conversation to the concept of cool vs not-so-cool, especially in relationships. If you’ve been thinking about how much of a red flag you are, why don’t you let this quiz help you decide once and for all?

June 14, 2020

Have you ever been with someone so horrible that you swore to never date again? Yes? Well, do you know that one or more of your exes probably feels the same way about you? You never thought about that, huh? Thankfully, this quiz is here to let you know just how much of a hassle […]

More from Ships

September 22, 2022

The subjects of this week’s Love Life are Jaymes*(23) and Seyi*(20), a polyamorous couple who got together five days after they started talking. Since then, they’ve had to deal with one of them being outed as queer, navigating multiple relationships and the jealousy it comes with. 

September 20, 2022

If your partner spent so much time in your home that it felt like they lived there, moving on can be tougher. So what happens when you can’t afford to move out to move on from the memories of your partner? 7 Nigerians who’ve been heartbroken shared their experience.

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X