Nollywood is the gift that just keeps giving. I obsess over Old Nollywood in particular because I think almost every scene and phrase used in it is simply very iconic. Today, we present four things from Old Nollywood that will make you go WTF.
Nollywood Parents Immediately Assuming Their Daughter Is Pregnant Because She Threw Up
Nollywood daugher runs out of the house (I have no absolute idea why they always run, why are they never just in a place where they can casually access the bathroom or something?) and throws up, her mother appearsfrom no where and asks ‘Nkechi, what happened? Nkechi, you are preganant. Nkechi, you have disgraced me.’ Each statement that begins with ‘Nkechi’ naturally is higher than the last just because. What amuses me and also makes me go WTF is that there are many reasons a person would be throwing up in the morning that doesn’t have anything to do with preganancy so why is that the universal sign of teenage and unwanted pregnancy in Nollywood.
Every Chiwetalu Agu Proverb
I genuinely believe that I first said ‘WTAF’ in reply to Chiwetalu Agu’s proverbs. The weirdest, most WTF and amazing part is that he had a custom made proverb for every movie. I would have said ‘for every character he played’ but Chiwetalu Agu has played himself in every movie he has ever been in.
Use What You Have To Get What You Want
My favorite genre of Nollywood movies are the ones that largely feature campus big girls because you know that at some point, someone will say to a newbie campus babe ‘you have to use what you have to get what you want’ and I genuinely believe this is simultaneously one of the most repeated and most hilarious Nollywood phrases.
‘Check and Balance This Na’
In the movie ‘White Hunters’, Mercy Johnson’s character says this to someone asking to check out her beauty and this is arguably one of the most WTF yet perfect phrases I have ever heard. Yes, it is now a part of my personal vocabulary.