Last week, we wondered what it would be like for Nollywood actors to be our coworkers. This week, we’re reimagining Nigerian musicians. If you were joining Zoom meetings with Wizkid on a daily basis, what would that look like?
He’s the one who comes to the office and acts like everyone is family. No forming, no nothing. Just pure vibes. He’s one of the best at his job, but he’s not a dick about it. He’s always inviting people to go out on Friday and buying drinks. He’ll stay at the company for a long time even though people try to poach him with more money, because he’s just loyal like that.
She’s the Gen Z who prioritises her mental health over everything else. You can’t rush her to finish her work or put her under any kind of pressure. She’s not afraid to call anyone by name and give them back hot hot when they mess up. If you try to reach her after close of business, that’s your business.
He finished with a first class from school, so your boss quickly sent him a contract before NYSC. Now, people hardly ever see him at the office, but whenever he works on a project, just know it’s going to be fantastic. How does he do it?
Nobody knows how he got the job. Nobody. People believe he was hired just for diversity in the company because he just doesn’t fit the general vibe. He’s always speaking Yoruba, coming to the office smelling like weed and having questionable people visit him. He’s also always on probation.
She’s that person who’s been working since she was 18. She has worked at all the top firms and you can tell the CEO brought her in for her experience. She’s obviously not on the company’s salary structure. You can tell she earns much much more than everyone. But that’s your business. But she’s good vibes sha… if you ever catch her outside work.
The co-worker you only see when the company has meetings with big clients. He’s the best at what he does, HR is doing their best to make him comfortable so he doesn’t have any reason to leave the company. He comes to the office once in a while, does one mad presentation and disappears. He’s the official star boy of that firm and people always use him as an example to new hires.
This is that co-worker who finished with first class in both her undergraduate and master’s degree from Harvard. Overall best and most dilligent. She blends in with everyone because she can switch from British English to Yoruba in seconds. She was hired even though she didn’t do NYSC. She’s also on track to be the youngest departmental head in the history of that office
Office fine boy who comes to the office straight from the gym. Everyone wants him to be thier office husband. . You can see his six pack through his white shirt. He exudes confidence effortlessly and all the office mummies fuss over him. He’s also the plug for the most happening hangout spots for TGIF.
You know that coworker who’s just never ever serious? That’s her. Even if the company is on the verge of going bankrupt and layoffs are looming, Teni will still drop out-of-pocket stickers on the office WhatsApp group.
He’s the office’s fave uncle. The one that goes on official assignment and buys something for everyone. All the corpers meet him to sign their CDS forms because he’s the only oga that won’t ask when last they came to work. He’s also the main dancer at every office Christmas party.
Office gossip. If you want to spread gist about someone, just tell her and then tell her not to tell anyone. The entire office will hear it before the close of business day.
Wavy The Creator
Nobody talks to her, she doesn’t talk to anyone. She just comes in, does her work and goes home.