Am I the only one bothered by the fact that there are brands whose products a lot of Nigerians have used religiously for decades (so you know that they’re huge sellers in the market) but for some reason NEVER advertise?

Brands like:

  1. Oxford’s Cabin Biscuits

What do you need advertising for when the intense hunger that ravages boarding school students across the country ensures that your product will always be in high demand?

That being said, does this mean that Oxford Cabin‘s makers are responsible for the shitty food in boarding schools across Nigeria? Find out on the first episode of my new conspiracy theory show I haven’t quite fleshed out yet.

I stan a genius business model.

2. St Louis Sugar

After showing up over 50 years ago, the German brand, St Louis, placed its foot on the necks of other sugar brands to become the number one in Nigeria and hasn’t left that spot since, which is insane because it did this without any advertising whatsoever.

Even more insane is that, in an effort to give local manufacturers a fighting chance, the Federal Government banned the importation of packaged sugar (St Louis included) back in 2013. But guess what brand of sugar I saw in a store this past weekend.


3. Goya Olive Oil

So I have a theory: Contrary to what cooking shows would have you believe, NO ONE in Nigeria actually uses olive oil to cook. The only reason this Goya olive oil has endured for decades is that the makers made a deal with Satan for it to be the one thing demons respond to during exorcisms. (i.e Anointing oil.)

@ me with a better explanation if you have one.

4. Napa

For a brand that makes an insanely wide variety of food products (tea, sardines, milk, prawns, coffee corned beef etc) and doesn’t advertise, there’s also a suspicious lack of information about Napa Valley Foods Inc online. I’m honestly confused and scared.

5. Big Cola

Back in 2017, when Coke and Pepsi were doing their weird back and forth in regards to price and quantity, the makers of BIG saw the confusion as an opportunity to crack the Nigerian market by offering the one thing the other cola giants weren’t: the chance to get more for less. They figured that this awoof would too good for Nigerians to ignore.

They were right.


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