Tried and Tested Ways to Win EVERY Argument Against Your Nigerian Girlfriend

November 16, 2022

We’re tired of hearing relationships are coming to an end because of ordinary arguments. If one of you didn’t harm or kill someone, then every fight is solvable with these guaranteed tips. 

Don’t let us hear you fought or broke up again o.

Break into singing and dancing

Women love singing and dancing. Do you think Bollywood people don’t know what they’re doing? When she’s shouting at the top of her voice about how you slept with her sister, just start singing and dancing. If I hear she doesn’t forgive you straight!

Tickle her

Tell me one person who doesn’t like laughing. One person. No? Exactly. So your Nigerian girlfriend is no different. Laughter is kuku the best medicine. 

Bring up her weight

The best time to bring up the fact that your babe has added a few kilograms is right in the middle of an argument. Just say, “No wonder you’re now fat”. It’ll take her mind off the fight, and she’ll appreciate you telling her about her body, which is absolutely your business. 

Kiss her mid-shout

Romance is not dead. It never was, and it never will be. The reason you were cheating is because you were spreading love. Spread the love to her too. 

Serve your food in front of her

As she’s talking, just walk to the kitchen to serve yourself. If she’s still talking when you’re done, start eating. If she’s still talking when you’ve finished eating, go to bed. By the time you wake up, in this world or the next, the argument should be over. 

Compare her to her friends

When she says something you don’t like, say something like, “At least, Stephanie doesn’t treat me like this”. The closer the friend is to her, the more effective this will be. It’ll help her reflect on the decisions she’s made and act better. 

Cry

In a world where men are not emotionally vulnerable, emotional vulnerability will help you win loads and loads of arguments. Just try it out, and see the wonders your tears can do. It doesn’t matter that you’re drinking too much and being unavailable. Cry your way out of accepting responsibility. 


Dear Nigerian Women, Let’s Talk About Your Flirting Skills


Call your mother

Honestly, poverty is in the land, and nobody has money — or time — to visit any bloody therapists. Invite the elderly and wise, AKA Mummy Femi, to solve the issue.

Do a fake break-up

Break up with her. She’ll most likely cry and beg, and when you tell her you were joking, there’ll be no more argument. If she accepts the breakup, you dodged a bullet. You can’t lose, really. 

Randomly start recording

Whip out your phone, put the camera in her face and record everything she says while screaming, “I have this on record!” She will comport herself. 

Tell her she’s overreacting

This is the most effective way to win arguments with your Nigerian girlfriend. Say stuff like, “You’re shouting”, “Calm down”, “It’s not that deep” or “Is it not ordinary period? That’s why you’re behaving like this.”


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