The Ultimate Nigerian Men’s Guide To Using A Toothpick

August 9, 2020

People don’t usually say it, but toothpicks are a major part of the Nigerian men culture. As a Nigerian man, if you don’t have a few toothpicks stacked away in some part of your wallet, do you even know what you’re doing?

Being a man means you have to show that you can keep a dangerous, pointy piece of wood in your mouth without any repercussions, even if it’s not there to serve its purpose.

Toothpicks are for clearing out pieces of food stuck between your teeth when you’re done eating, yes. But as a Nigerian man, you have to make sure to use a toothpick even after you finish eating innocuous foods such as pap, and even when you drink water. Everybody must know you just ate.

It’s also important to leverage on advancements in the digital age by making sure that every picture you take on your phone has to have a toothpick in it, especially if you’re lightskinned,

Using a toothpick is never complete without making random sounds that let all the females around know that you are around. This is basically a mating call.

You should also find every opportunity to talk to women because your confidence is on a high. Roll it around your mouth a lot, and put it in the corner of your mouth when you want to say something. Wink a lot too.

There, you’re a perfect Nigerian gentleman.

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