If you’ve not heard the gist, the minister of Science and Technology recently vowed to land Nigeria’s first astronaut in space before 2030.
For those here for the banter like us, check out this accurate timeline of the Space Mission 2030.
December 1, 2029 NTA: Nigeria will be joining the league of countries to send a man to the Mars.
January 4, 2030 NTA: Engineer Chuka Shehu Femi will be Nigeria’s first man on the Mars. More details about him to follow
January 4, 2030 10:00 TheCable: NUPENG, PENGASSAN to go on strike over planned Mars mission. More to follow
January 4, 2030 10:30 Punch: Breaking: Religious Groups protest over Atheist Engineer on Mars mission. “How will he pray to get there”
January 7,2030 12:30 PremiumTimes: Minority Groups kick against marginalisation in Space Mission
January 8, 2030 NTA: Senate go on 3 weeks recess, will begin Space Mission probe upon resumption
January 9, 2030 SaharaReporters: Save Nigeria Group seeks Court order to suspend all Space Missions
January 15, 2030 SaharaReporters: Breaking- Engineer Chuka laments “My life is in danger”
January 21, 2030 10:00 PremiumTimes: Federal High Court in Kutuwenji grants injunction suspending Space Mission to Mars
January 24, 2030 NTA: Breaking – Presidency approves inclusion of 6 astronauts, claims Federal Character
February 1, 2030 The Economist: Space Travel, Is Nigeria serious?
February 3, 2030 ThisDay: NSA Boss, Spaceship too small for 6 people, can only take 3.
February 6, 2030 ThisDay Style: The astronaut and their beautiful wives, Love in Space and Beyond.
February 6, 2030 Made: The Spacesuits, everything you need to know from designer, Mai Atafo
February 7, 2030 LindaIkeji: Outrage on Twitter as feminists lament non inclusion of women on Space Mission
February 7, 2030 09:30 SaharaReporters: Breaking: Wife of Nigeria Space Agency boss embroiled in Multi Billion Naira designer bag scandal
February 9, 2030 BudgtIT: The real cost of Nigeria’s Mission to Mars. Infographics, click here
February 10, 2030 SaharaReporters: How Nigeria Space Agency bought secondhand spaceship from China costing over $150Billion
February 11, 2030 ThisDay: Nigeria’s Opposition party labels Mission to Mars a colossal waste. “People are hungry, Mars is not Priority”
February 11, 2030 18:00 PremiumTimes: “They had 10 years to go to Mars but didn’t, they are wailing” Layi Momodu, Presidential Spokesman
March 1, 2030 Guardian: Celebrations across Nigeria as Spaceship is launched. “We have arrived”
March 2, 2030 NSA Digest: Fuel on Nigeria Spaceship cannot get to Mars. Moon likely destination
March 4, 2030 CNN: 300 days Nigeria Mars trip cut to 3 days Moon trip due to fuel issue.
March 5, 2030 PremiumTimes: “300 days trip in Space, President never said it was to Mars” Presidency
March 7, 2030 Punch: Space team to spend 300 days on the Moon to help Presidency save face.
March 8, 2030 SaharaReporters: How NSA Boss diverted Space fuel funds to overseas account.
March 12, 2030 SaharaReporters: Houseboy of neighbour to husband of NSA wife’s best friend’s younger sister picked up by EFCC.
March 15, 2030 PremiumTimes: Presidency rejects association with I fly with the President group.
June 20, 2030 ThisDay: 300 day Mission reduced to 100 days as Fasting season approaches.
June 20, 2030 10:00 SaharaReporters: Embattled NSA chief “Religious reasons for shortened trip are baseless. We found what we are looking for”
June 20, 2030 10:30 Punch: National Opposition Party jests “The thing they found on the Moon, does it have a name?”
June 22, 2030 PremiumTimes: President okays return of Spaceship in live video chat with crew on Paris trip.
July 30, 2030 BusinessDay: Nigeria Spaceship company, Arik Spaceshuttle Ltd, to commence commercial flights to Space
December 4, 2031 SaharaReporters: Nigerians stranded on Mars as Arik delays return trip by 3 months.
Cinema going is a constantly rising culture in Nigeria and we are here for it. Oftentimes, a lot of us can’t wait to watch a newly premiered movie, so rather than wait a long time for the DVD’s we’d prefer to have the cinematic experience. But, you are bound to encounter one moviegoer that will […]
Actors trying their hands at singing often results in a chaotic mess. Musicians on the other hand, seem to have better luck. Here are some musicians who kill it as actors.
The weekend is here and we have curated a comprehensive list of all the exciting activities you should be engaging in. 1. Create your Detty December to-do List It’s concert season everywhere in the world. Last weekend, we witnessed Johnny Drille’s Live-in concert, and in the same weekend The Cavemen shut it down. To top […]
Last week, we made a quiz that tested if you were smart enough to nail real Common Entrance questions. Now, we’ve taken it up a notch with real ‘Use of English‘ JAMB questions. It’s time to see if you’re smarter than the average SS 3 student. Take the test:
Today, we are going to be using your taste in music to determine how good you actually are in bed. All you need to do is create the ultimate Nigerian hit — from the lead artist to the producer — and we’ll tell you if all your partners leave satisfied, or if you are just […]
After successfully predicting when y’all are getting married (please, email any complaints to noneofourbusiness@nayousabi.com), we are back to tell you how much is currently in your account. How, you might ask? By using your taste in Nollywood, of course. Shhh. No questions. Just take it already:
Are you a professional Yoruba demon? Are you walking around in search of whose life you can wreck at any given time? Well, this quiz knows exactly how many hearts you’ve shattered to date, and before you lie that your result is inaccurate, just remember that Zikoko is never wrong. Now, take it and be […]
Did your parents give you enough beans when you were growing up? If they did, then you’re probably around 6’0″ and above. Either way, we created a quiz that can guess your current height (pretty accurately, if we do say so ourselves). Take to see if we nailed it:
Children’s day, a day set apart for kids. Like they don’t win at life already? You’re not paying bills or rent and you have a day to celebrate yourself? Get me their manager, please. On days like this, we can’t help but remember how good we used to have it so we wrote this article […]
Are you a Nigerian Student? Are you in a relationship with a fellow Nigerian student? If your answer to these questions is “yes”, then definitely understand these struggles stated below The roommate that does not understand privacy You have been telling Cynthia about how bae is coming over for some private time since the beginning […]
Phillipine movies usually follow a pattern that has become obvious and annoying. Consider this list a documentation of that annoyance by once loyal fans.
Forget Tunji and Daniella, if you’re wondering who your best friend is, it’s most definitely the phone you’re either reading this from or the phone that’s somewhere within your vision; we know this because you’re definitely a phone addict that gets a little impatient when you’re too far away from your phone. Okay, let’s not […]
Yes, Valentine’s Day is almost here. Love notes, chocolates, hampers, and everything that comes with it. But while everyone is being hit by cupid’s arrow, there are some people who don’t even feel the hype. If you’re one of them, then grab a seat at this table. 1. You, when you hear that Valentine is […]
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
Z! Stacks
Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
If you think you’ve grown immune to heartbreak, we might have some bad news for you. Take this quiz to find out how many more heartbreaks you’ll take before you finally meet the love of your life.
Join The Conversation
Bring a friend.