The BVN registration deadline has passed. As usual, Nigerians have ended up with tales of woe from all angles “It’s not our fault, it’s the situation in the country.” Let’s tell you how you got to this position…

1. You first heard about BVN…

Everyday, everyday, register for something.

2. When you knew you were broke and wondered what the point of BVN was.

Please what other transaction can I do from here? What kind of life is this please?

3. When that teller asked you “Have you done your BVN?”

But if you mind your business, will you die?

4. Then you went to the bank to beat the first deadline…

As per LastMinute dotcom.  Wait, is the whole of Nigeria here? I can’t deal abeg.

5. Before they postponed it.

Of course they did… as per Naija!

6. So you went back to ignoring your bank.

*Marked as spam*

7. Until the guy who owed you money came to pay you back.

Praise Da Living Jesus!

8. And you had to rush to do your BVN.

I’m next on the queue please! My friend, answer me now!

9. But somehow, your account still got deactivated.

Chei! I have no luck. But don’t worry, you’ll enter another queue, sort yourself out and be alright.


Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.