12 Bulletproof Hacks For Hungry Bachelors

January 22, 2016
Are you always hungry? Do you always skip meals? Do you complain frequently, of lack of food because you are a bachelor? Say no more. We’ve made a list of keys things to do to change your story. Take a look.

1. Noodles

You may think this is mainstream, but it isn’t. Variety is the spice of life. There are over four different flavors and you can make them with different garnishes. Stockpile your pantry with these babies and be happy!

2. Buy Yams and Eggs

Probably the easiest and fastest dish available. Cut, peel and boil yams, break eggs, add salt and spices and fry. Tada! Food is served. Easy? Yes we know. You’re welcome.

3. Sandwiches

You have to learn how to eat a lot of these. Always have sandwich ingredients bread, butter, eggs, sardines, lettuce, tomatoes and the like who says you can’t be your own sandwich place.

4. Patronize catering outfits

There are a couple outfits that provide home cooked meals in bulk. Buy these and put them in your refrigerator, bring them out when needed, thaw and eat.

5. Microwave

This machine right here has a lot of miraculous powers. It can restore cold pizza to its fresh state and reheat your takeout from last night. Also, guess what? You can cook certain meals in there.

6. Restaurants

This is one bulletproof method. Simple make a timetable of where you will have your breakfast, lunch and dinner with the different foods you will order. Follow schedule week, in week out till you are tired. Easy? Yeah we know.

7. Plan lunch meetings

If you are lucky to work in an establishment where you have a lot of meetings. Suggest lunch and dinner meetings. Lunch/dinner for that day sorted.

8. Make many female friends that love to cook

See, this is a very important hack. Make many friends, give them gifts of course those are investments (you didn’t hear it here), know their schedule, and pop in around their dinner time for free food. You’re welcome.

9. Get a girlfriend

Sometimes, you may be faced with extreme resistance to your showing up at only dinner times. Don’t worry ask the one you like best out and make her your girlfriend. Guess who now has no excuse not to help your lack of food situation?

10. Beg your friends and family to marry

How does this relate? Your friends or family getting married = free food at the introduction, engagement, reception. You can make friends with the person in charge of the food and take the leftovers home. Free food for one week. Thank us later.

11. Go and marry

See, if all these don’t work for you, we guess it’s time to get married and stop suffering. Get you a woman you love and that knows how to cook and make your life better and rejoice because your hungry days are over.

12. Learn how to cook

This is the back up plan of all back up plans. In case steps 1 to 11 did not work for you. Please there are Youtube tutorials to learn how to cook basic dishes. No data? There are blogs? Still no data? Start trying from hack number one all over.
Avatar

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

February 12, 2020

Forget Tunji and Daniella, if you’re wondering who your best friend is, it’s most definitely the phone you’re either reading this from or the phone that’s somewhere within your vision; we know this because you’re definitely a phone addict that gets a little impatient when you’re too far away from your phone. Okay, let’s not […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

April 21, 2021

As told to Femi A couple of weeks ago, I put out a tweet looking to speak with young people dealing with hypertension. Ehimen reached out to me. Our conversation spanned beyond hypertension to other issues. Here’s his story. It all began in my final year at the university when I was 19. I think […]

April 21, 2021

Tough times are really lasting, and the thought of using someone for money ritual looks more appealing. However, the fear of God is also real so you don’t know how to run it. Well, that’s where we come in. Here are some steps to enable you perform money ritual in a way that pleases God. […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 4, 2019

After successfully predicting when y’all are getting married (please, email any complaints to noneofourbusiness@nayousabi.com), we are back to tell you how much is currently in your account. How, you might ask? By using your taste in Nollywood, of course. Shhh. No questions. Just take it already:

October 30, 2019

Kemi Adetiba’s King of Boys movie got a lot of things right, especially casting, so yes, it was a monster hit. Now, we know you may not have put much thought to this, but the personalities of some of the characters closely match yours, and we would like to help you find the perfect match. […]

More from Oldies

February 12, 2020

Forget Tunji and Daniella, if you’re wondering who your best friend is, it’s most definitely the phone you’re either reading this from or the phone that’s somewhere within your vision; we know this because you’re definitely a phone addict that gets a little impatient when you’re too far away from your phone. Okay, let’s not […]

February 8, 2020

Yes, Valentine’s Day is almost here. Love notes, chocolates, hampers, and everything that comes with it. But while everyone is being hit by cupid’s arrow, there are some people who don’t even feel the hype. If you’re one of them, then grab a seat at this table. 1. You, when you hear that Valentine is […]

February 8, 2020

In case you have not realised it, Nigerians have a PhD in lying. Multiple PhDs, even. And there are some people who are professors in the art of lying, but we will keep that conversation for another day. Anyway, here is a list of common lies Nigerians tell. Don’t lie, we know you must told […]

February 8, 2020

Anyone who grew up in a Nigerian household understands that the Saturday routine does not change. It is the same yesterday, today and forever. If you are a true Nigerian, then you’ll understand these pictures and their connection to Saturday mornings. 1. Morning devotion by 6:00 AM. In which your parents can slap you for […]

February 8, 2020

Growing up, Saturdays used to be fun thanks to Cadbury Nigeria and Silverbird television. However, these days, as an adult, Saturdays are filled with unfinished work from the week before. If you are lucky, maybe a nice outing or mild to moderate fornication. Still, all these don’t fill the void the way cartoons used to […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X