12 Bulletproof Hacks For Hungry Bachelors

January 22, 2016
Are you always hungry? Do you always skip meals? Do you complain frequently, of lack of food because you are a bachelor? Say no more. We’ve made a list of keys things to do to change your story. Take a look.

1. Noodles

You may think this is mainstream, but it isn’t. Variety is the spice of life. There are over four different flavors and you can make them with different garnishes. Stockpile your pantry with these babies and be happy!

2. Buy Yams and Eggs

Probably the easiest and fastest dish available. Cut, peel and boil yams, break eggs, add salt and spices and fry. Tada! Food is served. Easy? Yes we know. You’re welcome.

3. Sandwiches

You have to learn how to eat a lot of these. Always have sandwich ingredients bread, butter, eggs, sardines, lettuce, tomatoes and the like who says you can’t be your own sandwich place.

4. Patronize catering outfits

There are a couple outfits that provide home cooked meals in bulk. Buy these and put them in your refrigerator, bring them out when needed, thaw and eat.

5. Microwave

This machine right here has a lot of miraculous powers. It can restore cold pizza to its fresh state and reheat your takeout from last night. Also, guess what? You can cook certain meals in there.

6. Restaurants

This is one bulletproof method. Simple make a timetable of where you will have your breakfast, lunch and dinner with the different foods you will order. Follow schedule week, in week out till you are tired. Easy? Yeah we know.

7. Plan lunch meetings

If you are lucky to work in an establishment where you have a lot of meetings. Suggest lunch and dinner meetings. Lunch/dinner for that day sorted.

8. Make many female friends that love to cook

See, this is a very important hack. Make many friends, give them gifts of course those are investments (you didn’t hear it here), know their schedule, and pop in around their dinner time for free food. You’re welcome.

9. Get a girlfriend

Sometimes, you may be faced with extreme resistance to your showing up at only dinner times. Don’t worry ask the one you like best out and make her your girlfriend. Guess who now has no excuse not to help your lack of food situation?

10. Beg your friends and family to marry

How does this relate? Your friends or family getting married = free food at the introduction, engagement, reception. You can make friends with the person in charge of the food and take the leftovers home. Free food for one week. Thank us later.

11. Go and marry

See, if all these don’t work for you, we guess it’s time to get married and stop suffering. Get you a woman you love and that knows how to cook and make your life better and rejoice because your hungry days are over.

12. Learn how to cook

This is the back up plan of all back up plans. In case steps 1 to 11 did not work for you. Please there are Youtube tutorials to learn how to cook basic dishes. No data? There are blogs? Still no data? Start trying from hack number one all over.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this


Now on Zikoko

July 30, 2021

We know salary week is your favourite time of the month. But will that money get you through the month until the next paycheck comes in? Let’s see. 1. You get your salary on the 25th  Why is this a problem? You will lose your guard. You too, stop and think about it: money you […]

July 30, 2021

Like every other thing that comes from Nigeria, your international passport just wants to travel out, enjoy life and flex on the gram but you no get money. *insert clown emoji* So here is everything your international passport wants to say to you. It’s another frustrating day in Buhari’s country. Rain water has entered your […]

July 30, 2021

The subject of today’s Abroad life is a 35-year-old man who has lived many lives. He talks about being rejected three times by the US embassy, the bad state of the Nigerian education system, and how freelancing paid for his japa.  When did you decide that you wanted to leave Nigeria? I’d always passively wanted […]

July 29, 2021

Modern day beauty standards sets a high bar for what society considers attractive. Anything outside the small box is considered unappealing, without consideration for the emotional and mental well-being of people living in those bodies. I met Tayo* through a comment he left on a Zikoko Instagram post about fatphobia, as he had gone through […]

Recommended Quizzes

December 3, 2019

Are you a professional Yoruba demon? Are you walking around in search of whose life you can wreck at any given time? Well, this quiz knows exactly how many hearts you’ve shattered to date, and before you lie that your result is inaccurate, just remember that Zikoko is never wrong. Now, take it and be […]

October 30, 2019

2010 was a game-changing one for Nollywood, with our movies making serious cash and getting international acclaim. So, which of these hits released between 2010 and 2019 — from the pace-setting The Wedding Party to the divisive Trip To Jamaica — best suits your personality? Well, that’s what this quiz is here to answer:

November 19, 2019

Regardless of what society has tried to tell us, enjoying sex is not something to be ashamed of. So, in a bid to celebrate our generation’s sexual agency, we’ve created a quiz that will accurately (again, keep your complaints to yourself) infer how many people you’ve spelt with. Try it out: 11 Quizzes For The […]

June 14, 2020

Have you ever been with someone so horrible that you swore to never date again? Yes? Well, do you know that one or more of your exes probably feels the same way about you? You never thought about that, huh? Thankfully, this quiz is here to let you know just how much of a hassle […]

November 4, 2019

After successfully predicting when y’all are getting married (please, email any complaints to noneofourbusiness@nayousabi.com), we are back to tell you how much is currently in your account. How, you might ask? By using your taste in Nollywood, of course. Shhh. No questions. Just take it already:

More from Oldies

May 27, 2021

Children’s day, a day set apart for kids. Like they don’t win at life already? You’re not paying bills or rent and you have a day to celebrate yourself? Get me their manager, please. On days like this, we can’t help but remember how good we used to have it so we wrote this article […]

February 12, 2020

Forget Tunji and Daniella, if you’re wondering who your best friend is, it’s most definitely the phone you’re either reading this from or the phone that’s somewhere within your vision; we know this because you’re definitely a phone addict that gets a little impatient when you’re too far away from your phone. Okay, let’s not […]

February 8, 2020

Yes, Valentine’s Day is almost here. Love notes, chocolates, hampers, and everything that comes with it. But while everyone is being hit by cupid’s arrow, there are some people who don’t even feel the hype. If you’re one of them, then grab a seat at this table. 1. You, when you hear that Valentine is […]

February 8, 2020

In case you have not realised it, Nigerians have a PhD in lying. Multiple PhDs, even. And there are some people who are professors in the art of lying, but we will keep that conversation for another day. Anyway, here is a list of common lies Nigerians tell. Don’t lie, we know you must told […]

February 8, 2020

Anyone who grew up in a Nigerian household understands that the Saturday routine does not change. It is the same yesterday, today and forever. If you are a true Nigerian, then you’ll understand these pictures and their connection to Saturday mornings. 1. Morning devotion by 6:00 AM. In which your parents can slap you for […]


Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.