For a lot of Nigerians, the ultimate Nigerian Dream is to japa. Many people prefer to go to Canada, AKA ‘Abroad Nigeria’ and live with the rest of the Nigerians that are there.
If you’ve successfully japa’d here are some of the things you can definitely relate to:
1. When you start your visa processing
“Oh Lord, I know I am a sinner. Please just this one time, have mercy on me. I will never sin again if you can just help me leave this country. I’m not proud o. I am begging you.”
2. And when you finally receive your visa approval letter
Nothing can ever top the joy that fills your heart when you finally receive the letter that releases you from the wicked clutches of your motherland.
3. When you’re finally about to leave
You’re crying and hugging your friends that you just told about your japa plans two weeks ago (You didn’t tell them earlier because the heart of man is desperately wicked and they could easily ruin your plans with black magic). Everyone is crying, but deep down, you cannot wait to get the hell out of… hell.
4. And you can finally change your location
As you wait for the airplane to take off, you remember that you have one more thing to do. You whip out your phone and you change your location on your Twitter bio to “Ontario, Canada”. Now it is official.
5. You get there and the weather slaps you hard
You’ve heard that the Canadian weather is cold but this was not what you expected. You can’t feel your fingers and your toes, but at least you know that you’re not the first Nigerian to ever move to Canada. We move.
6. But at least it’s better than the Nigerian sun
You remember the sun in Nigeria and you tell yourself you prefer the cold. Heaven is better than hell.
7. When you hear a price in dollars and start converting it to naira
“Wait, if this food is 25 CAD, how much will that be in naira? Are these people cheating me? There’s rice at home o.”
8. When you realize there’s no pepper in their food
Na so so ketchup and Poutine dem go dey chop. Even the foods that they call extra hot will be tasting like raw tomatoes. Where is the spice in this country?
9. And Nigerian food is scarce as fuck
“So you mean I can’t just step out of my house, walk down the street and find pounded yam? Which type of life is this, oh lord my father”
10. When you finally find the African food market
“Is that Panla? Goodness gracious, am I looking at plantain? Please tell me this is garri I’m touching with my bare hands? God, can I smell grounded pepper?”
11. But the prices want to break your neck
You’ll want to buy snails and when they call the prices for you, you’ll wonder if you asked for snails, or a Bugatti. It doesn’t help that the people who are selling Nigerian and African food over there are also really rude.
12. When you’re in the supermarket and you hear someone speaking in a Nigerian accent
“Oh my love, I am lonely. Let us meet over tea and talk about how cold the weather is, and then spend the rest of the time complaining about Nigeria.”
13. When people at home automatically assume you’ve become a millionaire
“Please send funds”
If you want to read stories about Nigerians who have successfully Japa’d, check out our Abroad Life stack. You’ll learn a thing or two.
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