8 Signs That You’re Now Like Your Nigerian Mother

March 3, 2020

Remember all the time you spent side-eyeing your Nigerian mother whenever she did something ridiculously Nigerian mother-y in public and you swore you would do everything in your power to make sure you didn’t end up like her? Well, I have news for you.

You failed.

Before you start arguing, read the points below and tell me that that they don’t perfectly describe you now in adulthood. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

1) Having one nylon bag full of dozens of other nylon bags you consider pretty and will definitely come in handy later.

I’ll go a step further and guess that you keep all the pretty nylon bags inside the strongest one of them of all: A Bagco Super Sack.

2) Having enough Tupperware to successfully store food for all 7 years of the Great Tribulation.

You keep all 3056 bowls and 1528 covers, even though you only use like two at a time. Never mind all the people making fun of you for this. They’ll be sorry when the rapture happens and food becomes scarce.

3) Your go-to retort when someone says something that annoys you is:

That and/or “If I slap you ehn, you’ll find all your teeth on the floor”.

4) Using everything as a weapon in a fight.

A lot of people don’t know this but the urge to attack someone who has annoyed you with whatever you can lay your hands on is the same feeling your mother struggled with that time she ripped out the car’s seat belt and whooped your ass with it because you decided to be a nuisance in the church’s crowded parking lot.

5) Carrying a bag full of stuff you might need at some point during the day.

You’d never know just by looking at it but along with a laptop, that bag contains an extra shirt, pants, and shoes, Imodium, Panadol, power bank, his passport, a plastic bowl containing last night’s leftover concoction rice…

6) Spending at least 30 minutes pricing every single thing you want to buy in the market.

If you ever wondered why market sellers have a tired smile on their faces whenever you come by, this is why.

7) Your default response when someone apologizes to you is:

You can’t help it.

8) When you see someone misbehaving and the first thing that comes out of your mouth is:

What else could it be?

Click here to find out if you’ve slowly turned into your Nigerian father but just don’t know it yet.

Astor George

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

zikoko- Nigerian stereotype
June 11, 2020

It’s always belittling and painful when you are reduced to a stereotype by other people. At that moment it’s like your individuality doesn’t count, it doesn’t matter who you turned out to be, what values you hold, or even what you have achieved. At that moment you are watered down to whatever stereotype you are […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

September 1, 2021

August is over, and here are some of our best quizzes from August. Enjoy: 1. QUIZ: Only Ajebutters Can Get 10/21 On This Quiz Some people like to form ajepako when they’re really ajebutter. Are you one of them? Let’s find out. 2. QUIZ: Sorry, If You’re Under 25 There’s No Way You Can Pass […]

December 3, 2019

Are you a professional Yoruba demon? Are you walking around in search of whose life you can wreck at any given time? Well, this quiz knows exactly how many hearts you’ve shattered to date, and before you lie that your result is inaccurate, just remember that Zikoko is never wrong. Now, take it and be […]

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

November 4, 2019

After successfully predicting when y’all are getting married (please, email any complaints to noneofourbusiness@nayousabi.com), we are back to tell you how much is currently in your account. How, you might ask? By using your taste in Nollywood, of course. Shhh. No questions. Just take it already:

December 5, 2019

We already tried to guess how much you have in your account and your current net worth, and we think we did a pretty great job (keep any complaints to yourself). Now, we’re going to try and guess your monthly salary based on your relationship with money. Oya, take the quiz: 11 Timed Quizzes For […]

More from Inside Life

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X