11 Signs You’re Not Ready To Be A Billionaire

October 22, 2021

You’re not yet a billionaire, but if you keep doing the things in this article, you probably would never become one.

Here are 11 signs you’re not ready to be a billionaire.

1. You’re too big to beg for giveaway on Twitter.

When you see your mates begging for money on Twitter and your response is to laugh at them, you’re clearly not ready for wealth. How will the money Don Jazzy is sharing enter your account if you don’t beg? If you cannot beg for money, you’re not ready for billions.

2. Your motto is “Any money wey I get na for enjoyment”.

If you’ve ever been able to relate to this video, we have bad news for you. Do you think this is how Dangote became a billionaire? Everyone knows that the road to billionaire-hood (ship?) is paved with intense suffering. The kind that you’ll spin into inspirational anecdotes when you eventually make it. Better stop that enjoyment and start suffering now.

3. Lagos restaurant waiters can recognize you.

First of all, we know you’re not spending ₦15,000 on a date because it’s too small. So why is it that when you go to all those expensive Lagos restaurants, the waiter says, “Shall I bring the usual, sir?” The usual? And you want to be a billionaire? No, no, no.

4. You keep taking money from your PiggyVest app.

You downloaded PiggyVest to save money, but any small inconvenience like this, you’ve removed all the money. Continue.

5. Your bio is “food lover”.

If you have “food lover” on your bio, it means you can’t stop ordering shawarma and pasta from your favourite plugs. And do you know what means? Sapa.

6. You own a bone straight wig.

How can you be wearing money on your head? How?

7. You can’t stop buying data.

Sometimes, when your data finishes, put your phone down and sleep. How can you be on your phone 24/7?

This is MTN when you quickly do *737# to buy 24GB for the second time in a week:

8. You’re too big for money rituals.

Your mates that are killing goats and chickens for money and putting sacrifice on the road, do they have three necks? Why can’t you go and meet your own Babalawo so he can run it for you?

9. You are an intentional partner.

How can you become a billionaire when you’re buying flowers, PS5, and going on dates? Where will you see the money?

10. You have a nuclear family.

If you have parents and younger siblings, you can never make it in this life. Black tax is real. The first step to being a billionaire is disowning your family.

11. You didn’t read this article.

How To Pick Money From The Floor Without Turning To Yam

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

December 5, 2019

We already tried to guess how much you have in your account and your current net worth, and we think we did a pretty great job (keep any complaints to yourself). Now, we’re going to try and guess your monthly salary based on your relationship with money. Oya, take the quiz: 11 Timed Quizzes For […]

November 4, 2019

After successfully predicting when y’all are getting married (please, email any complaints to noneofourbusiness@nayousabi.com), we are back to tell you how much is currently in your account. How, you might ask? By using your taste in Nollywood, of course. Shhh. No questions. Just take it already:

More from Inside Life

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X