When women refuse to follow society’s script of a virtuous woman, all hell breaks loose. We receive a range of reactions — from parents weeping to random people’s comments — and we’re sick of it. 

Here’s a list of things you shouldn’t say to women who don’t want kids. 

“You will regret it”

What if I don’t? What if, by some wild chance, I’m actually really happy I made the decision to not have kids. What happens then? 

“Who will take care of you?”

When people ask this, I wonder if it’s the only reason they want kids. If yes, what happened to family members or friends or even healthcare workers?

“What if your husband wants kids?”

Women who don’t want kids won’t marry men who want kids. If either of them change their minds, they might have to part ways. Kids aren’t something to compromise on. 

RELATED: What She Said: I Love My Children, But I’ve Never Liked Them

“You’ll still change your mind”

What if I don’t change my mind? If I change my mind, that’s completely okay too. Now, tell me why you’re pressed. 

“Don’t get married, then”

No be you go tell me wetin I go do. 

Related: What She Said: I Got Married at 47 and Nobody Died

“Are you gay?”

This one is funny because how does it relate? I need someone to please explain it to me like I’m 5.

“It’s because you’re young”

They say this alongside “You don’t know what you’re saying.” And that’s okay too. When I get older, I’ll also decide whether or not I want kids. 

“So if you get pregnant, you will get an abortion?” 


Here’s an article on why some people absolutely hate being around kids.


Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.