A rich Nigerian auntie doesn’t refer to those aunties from your father’s side that do nothing but comment on your weight and ask you when you’d be getting married.
The rich Nigerian auntie is an aesthetic bigger than one person — and here’s how to be sure you are one…
1. You have the dress
Every other month, there is a dress that they all collectively wear. If you have at least two of them, congratulations, you are a true rich Nigerian auntie.
2. You also have the shoe
Can there be a dress without a shoe? I think not. It can be that square-shaped one that men swear is ugly, but what do they know about fashion?
3. You have sleek wigs
None of those synthetic wigs. It must be a full-body weave and expensive as hell. Bonus points if you just style your natural hair now and again.
4. Be a femtrepreneur
Own a startup or just be a boss at whatever you do, girl boss power. Drop tips when you are in a good mood and be a panellist on at least one women in tech event.
5. Be an intersectional feminist
For you to be qualified as a rich Nigerian auntie, you must be an intersectional feminist. You can’t stand for women and ignore queer people, disabled people or trans women.
6. Have clear skin
When you are unproblematic, you’ll automatically have clear skin. Try minding your business for a month, and watch your skin flourish. This is backed by science.
7. Host brunch
Every once in a while, gather your fellow rich Nigerian aunties and host brunch. Don’t forget to serve us looks on every social media platform.
8. Have a child or less
Rich Nigerian aunties don’t like stress, they have vacations to plan and designers to wear, where is the time to be having more than 1 child? Just adopt as many cats and dogs as possible, they are less stressful anyway.