Friendships can be tricky. Sometimes, friends hurt each other and it’s hard to get past that. In this article, we asked seven Nigerian women to share the worst thing a friend has done to them.
I had this roommate when I was doing my diploma in Ibadan. I was a new student but somehow I got close to her. In our class, there was a guy that liked me. She knew but she didn’t tell me because she had a crush on him. One time I fell sick and had to go to the hospital. She offered to make me food when I returned. I ate and slept off. When I woke up, there was a sharp pain in my belly and I started throwing up. I had to go back to the hospital because it became bloody.
At the hospital, they said that I had ingested poison and if I hadn’t come in sooner, I would have died. When I got better, I confronted her. She said I betrayed her by taking her boyfriend away from her. I wasn’t even dating him and neither was she. I was so scared. I had to leave that room. If people weren’t there the day I started throwing up, she would have left me there to die.
My best friend and girlfriend at the time outed me out to a classmate of ours that she had a crush on. She told him I blackmailed her into becoming a lesbian like me. He wanted to save her from me so he beat me until I passed out and I still got suspended because of it. I was only 15.
I had a close friend who I spent a lot of time with. When she was broke, I would share my money with her. We would eat together and whatever I was buying for myself, I would buy for her. After a while, she started earning money but she left me for some other friends. They went clubbing and afterwards, they went shopping.
The worst part was that she didn’t even inform me. I saw pictures and videos on social media. I was hurt but I didn’t say anything to her.
In my NYSC year, I met two guys that were friends with someone else I knew and we all started hanging out. One of them lived in the city I was serving in. We did everything together. He had a car so we would drive around the city together. He was also doing his NSYC but he grew up in Ibadan so hanging with him was fun.
Towards the end of service, we all had a sleepover with our mutual friend, Tunde*. He had been talking so much about how much of a great masseuse he was so we had agreed that, during the sleepover, we would rate his skills. At the sleepover, I was a bit buzzed while this guy was giving me a massage and then suddenly his hands were in my vagina. I panicked — I felt my entire body freeze. The worst part for me was when I woke up, I pretended like nothing happened until later that day when a mutual friend of ours said he had done the same to her.
In SS2, my best friend at the time spread a rumour about me. She said I had been sleeping with a senior. She said it started as a joke but it ruined my reputation at school so much so that I had to change schools for my final year. She tried to take it back but it was already stuck in everyone’s mind.
Early this year, I was sexually harassed by a man. I told two of my friends who were also friends with him about it. One of them said she has to be neutral about the issue and so she couldn’t pick sides. I was hurt, especially because I was receiving support from women and men who I had never spoken to before. I expected that my female friends would have my back. I didn’t even know their friendship with the guy was that deep. Even after he admitted doing it, they still wanted to be neutral.
The worst thing a friend has done to me is ghosting me. We had been friends for about four years. We were part of a group of four friends who lived in the same apartment. We did everything together through our university years and we always joked about how we would always be friends. Shortly after university, one of our friends started dating this guy and it seemed like he asked her to change certain parts of herself like how she dresses, where she goes, etc. I was worried so I told her about it and I think this made her withdraw from me because when she got engaged to him, she told everyone else but me. She also did not invite me to any of the ceremonies. She just stopped talking to me. Within a year, she moved out of Nigeria and I haven’t heard from her since then. The whole thing stings me whenever I think about it.