All The Ways Nigerian Men Sexually Harass Women In The Name of Toasting

May 4, 2020

Toasting a woman is supposed to be an art, something men should do with style and a dash of some good old debonair charm. But some Nigerian men do it like rascals and make it subtle sexual harassment. So in the end what they are doing is not even toasting, it is “sexually harass toasting”. Yes, you read it right.

1. Physically touching (mostly violently) in public places because they want her attention.

Traders do this a lot in markets and maybe they taught the men. And sometimes random men on the streets use it as a part of their “toasting technique”. They see you walking on your own and then just come up and grab your hand to say “fine girl”.

2. Catcalling on the streets.

Men could try their hands at an acapella career with those whistling skills but no. They would rather use it to harass girls on the street. We thought we left the catcallers behind in 2019 but alas, they are here with us in 2020.

3. Trailing women down a dark path at night.

How do you not see that this is creepy and scary? Trailing a woman walking alone down a dark alley because you want to tell her “I am xyz by name, may i know you?”. *insert eye roll, face palm and the angry emoji*.

4. Badgering with calls and messages.

zikoko- Sexually Harass Toasting

Talmabout how they can’t live without you. Bombarding you with phone calls, texts, and annoying video calls. Block them and they acquire a new phone number to continue right off where you interrupted them. This is harassment if a woman says No then she said No and you should get with the program.

5. The ones that resort to insults when women turn them down.

zikoko- Sexually Harass Toasting

The speed of the switch from “You must be an angel to “Ashawo, you no even fine sef” never ceases to amaze me.

6. The ones who send someone to get your number with subtle threats.

zikoko- Sexually Harass Toasting

As a big man that they are. They sit in their cars or at the bar and send the waiter to approach the women. And expect her to go hopping along. If the women refuses they keep badgering her and sometimes even drop subtle “Do you know who I am?” threats.

7. The ones that make lewd comments and expect women to take them as compliments.

zikoko- Sexually Harass Toasting

The Nigerian toasters who make inappropriate comments about women’s bodies and expect them to take it as a compliment. They are not alright, and they may not be even alright laslas

Did we miss any “Sexually Harass Toasting” technique you’ve experienced? Tell us in the comments.

Hi there! The HER weekly newsletter launches on the 6th of March, 2021. A new newsletter will go out every week on Saturday by 2pm. If you have already subscribed please tell a friend. If you haven’t, you can by clicking this button. It will only take fifteen seconds. Trust me, I timed it!

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

February 22, 2021

Sometimes, when things do not go according to plan it leads to very funny moments. These five Nigerian women share their funniest waxing experiences. Jay, 26 I had never gotten waxed until Christmas of 2020. I got an early Christmas present to go for full body wax and scrub and I was really looking forward […]

November 23, 2020

As a woman, you need to hinge your existence on a man. You need to be his ribs, neck and more importantly, his backbone. If you are a woman who struggles with being a bone, don’t worry. Zikoko has curated a guide with illustrations on how you can become a backbone.

December 2, 2020

This week’s What She Said is Olusayo Ajet, an artist, academic, engineer, biochemist and researcher. She talks about how art was her tool of escape, her relationship with her family and how she experiences the world one day at a time. Tell me about how you started making art. I don’t necessarily have a moment […]

April 19, 2019

It’s very hard to make a case against dating apps. Yes, I know there is the occasional unsolicited penis picture you inevitably get. And men who take on sexual harassment as a full-time job. But all of that comes with conventional dating methods too.  The only difference is that with dating apps you get to […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

how tall are you
March 11, 2020

Did your parents give you enough beans when you were growing up? If they did, then you’re probably around 6’0″ and above. Either way, we created a quiz that can guess your current height (pretty accurately, if we do say so ourselves). Take to see if we nailed it:

March 24, 2020

While we know that a lot of the best Nigerian artists deservedly have fans across generations, that won’t stop us from attempting to guess how old you are based on your taste in Nigerian music. So, take this quiz to see if we got it right:

December 11, 2019

In the past month, we’ve made quizzes that guessed the last time you had sex, how many people you’ve slept with, and just how good you are in bed. For our latest attempt, we will use your taste in Nigerian music from the 2010s to ascertain what you’re like in bed. Take to find out:

October 30, 2019

2010 was a game-changing one for Nollywood, with our movies making serious cash and getting international acclaim. So, which of these hits released between 2010 and 2019 — from the pace-setting The Wedding Party to the divisive Trip To Jamaica — best suits your personality? Well, that’s what this quiz is here to answer:

November 1, 2019

Twitter is buzzing right now, bringing a new conversation to the concept of cool vs not-so-cool, especially in relationships. If you’ve been thinking about how much of a red flag you are, why don’t you let this quiz help you decide once and for all?

More from Her

September 25, 2022

Simi and Taofeeqat became best friends in SS2. Before adulthood came between them, they gave each other cheesy love letters and long hugs. In this #LettertoHER, Simi wants Taofeeqat to know she misses her.

September 20, 2022

If your partner spent so much time in your home that it felt like they lived there, moving on can be tougher. So what happens when you can’t afford to move out to move on from the memories of your partner? 7 Nigerians who’ve been heartbroken shared their experience.

What She Said: I’ll Run For Office in 2027
September 14, 2022

Nafisa Atiku-Adejuwon talks about experiencing politics in secondary school, choosing public service over a legal career and finding purpose in helping young women enter politics through “Girls Just Want to Run”.

September 11, 2022

“In everything I wanted to do, my grandma always told me to go for it, even if I wanted to fly to the moon. She never made any of my dreams seem unachievable.”

In this personal essay, Dammy talks about her grandmother, who was also her best friend. #GrandparentsDay

What She Said: Feminism Led Me to Atheism
August 31, 2022

This week’s #ZikokoWhatSheSaid subject is a 23-year-old Nigerian woman. She tells us about discovering her feminism, pansexuality and atheism through books while living with her close-knit conservative family.

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X