The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.
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How long have you been with your partner?
Temi and I dated for two years, and have been married for two. That’s four years.
How did you meet?
We met at her sister’s wedding in 2021. We were both part of the wedding party; she was one of the bride’s aso-ebi girls, and I was a groomsman. I found her really attractive, so I asked for her number during the reception. She gave it to me, but she didn’t remember who I was when I called the next day. She kept saying, “Sorry. From where?”
My chest
I thought she did that deliberately to get me off the phone. But she eventually remembered and apologised, explaining how stressful the wedding was for her. I used the opportunity to convince her to go on a date with me to make up for forgetting me.
We went to a restaurant, and I spent around ₦55k on the food and cab ride. We had a really good conversation, and sparks flew. A week later, we started dating.
How were your finances then?
I was balling. I worked remotely at a fintech company, earning ₦450k/month. Things weren’t as expensive then as they are now. Even though I lived alone and paid my bills myself, my salary was more than enough for me. I could pay my ₦300k rent, sort out important bills, hang out with friends, and still save small money.
Temi wasn’t doing badly either. She has always been a hustler, trying different businesses. When we started dating, she was selling wigs. I’m not sure how much she was making, but she was pretty independent. She lived alone and often got me gifts and paid for dates. She may have been richer than I was, actually.
Ahn ahn. Love it. How often did these gifts and dates happen?
They were quite random. We often spent time at each other’s houses, so we ordered food to have indoor dates. Sometimes we did outdoor picnics, cinemas and restaurants.
The gifts were usually for birthdays and anniversaries. In the first year, we did a monthly anniversary thing, and we’d both get something small for each other: perfume, shoes, accessories, or handwritten cards. Gift-giving is our love language, so we ate each other’s money. I remember going broke in February 2022 when I proposed because I spent over half my salary to buy a ring and organise a surprise proposal.
We calmed down a bit with the gifts in 2022 because of wedding planning. We sat down and said, “Guy, we need to save for wedding o.”
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Did you both share wedding expenses?
Yes, we did. However, our parents handled a significant chunk of the cost. They helped us with the venue, decoration, food, and souvenirs. We paid for our clothes, photography, videography, accessories, and other small things here and there.
Temi and I each saved money monthly (₦100k from me and ₦50k from her) for the whole of 2022, and that money was used to handle our part of the wedding expenses in 2023.
I think the wedding planning period set the tone for how we’ve handled finances in our marriage. Before then, we didn’t really talk about money. We just spent money on each other. But wedding planning in our church means compulsory marriage counselling sessions, and we learnt to take a more active approach towards financial planning, among other things. We discussed expectations and who would handle what bill, which has worked for us since.
Tell me about it
We operate a “What you have is ours and vice versa” approach. We’re open with our finances and plan our lives around what we both bring to the table.
Let me break it down. I handle the bills: house rent, food, utilities, everything. If, while settling these bills, money finishes in my account, Temi steps in. Or if I’m not around and Temi has to recharge electricity or buy fuel, she does it and doesn’t need to ask me to pay her back because it’s still our money, just in different accounts.
Interesting
This approach has particularly helped us this year. I got laid off at work towards the end of 2024 and had to take a pay cut at my new job after I job-hunted without success for two months. We’ve had to scale down our living expenses a little, but it’s not too big a change because we’ve always done everything together.
The only downside is we can’t save as much anymore. Before, Temi could save as much as ₦200k from her monthly business profit average of ₦450k because my salary (which had grown to ₦600k) covered a good percentage of our expenses. Now she has to support more, so saving is more difficult. But we’re making it work. I’m still job-hunting, and I’m confident something will click soon.
Rooting for you. Besides scaling down savings and expenses, how has the pay cut impacted your relationship?
You know how I mentioned gift-giving is our love language? Well, I can’t do that as much anymore. When I had more money in my account, I could afford surprises. It’s now more difficult to do that because while I can ask my wife to send me money, it’ll ruin the surprise. She’ll surely ask what I want to get, and I have to talk. If I don’t tell her what I need it for, she’ll correctly guess that I want to buy something for her. So, yeah, poverty is affecting my intentionality. I don’t like that I can’t spoil my wife as often as I’d like.
Also, we argue more about spending decisions now. We used to be spontaneous spenders, but Temi has assumed the manager role since my job situation started. She’s always trying to see how we can stretch what we have to last. I like that, but sometimes I just want us to go on dates or give our parents money. My madam will disagree and remind me that we have bills to pay.
Oh, and she’s pregnant, so saving for delivery and all the baby expenses is another headache. Temi has gone into full mummy planning mode, so she’s always ready to bite my head off if I make an unnecessary expense. Sometimes, I push back. Most of the time, I just let her have her way.
You mentioned saving. What does your safety net look like?
Our savings typically go to rent and major expenses, like buying our freezer and air conditioner last year. Currently, we have ₦1m saved for rent. Rent is ₦1.5m, and we’re due in August. Then there’s another ₦300k saved for baby expenses. We hope to triple that before the baby comes, just in case of unplanned expenses. We can’t do that with my current salary, so I’m job-hunting like crazy.
What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?
One where we’re financially comfortable with several means of passive income. I’m thinking in terms of real estate and businesses. My wife is an excellent entrepreneur, and it’s just a matter of time before we create something that will take us nationwide. I just need to make money so I can invest in her.
Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.
*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.
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Every week, Zikoko seeks to understand how people move the Naira in and out of their lives. Some stories will be struggle-ish, others will be bougie. All the time, it’ll be revealing.
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What’s your earliest memory of money?
When I was in primary school, my dad would give my sister and me ₦20 daily for school. We always took food to school, so we usually spent the money on Goody Goody and other sweets.
My parents also gave our teacher extra money weekly in case we needed anything else. It was more like a safety net. They didn’t want us to handle “big” money because they feared we’d lose it, so they gave it to a trusted person instead.
We hardly went to the teacher to collect more money, though. We were too shy to ask, so the teacher bought stuff for us most of the time. That’s the first time I realised you needed money to buy nice things.
What was growing up like financially?
My family was middle-class. My dad was a civil servant, and my mum was a nurse at a teaching hospital. They both had cars, we lived in our home, and I attended private school up until university. There was never a time I felt like we didn’t have money.
The only thing was that my parents never wanted us kids to handle money. They preferred to give us money whenever we needed it, but that idea stopped working for me as I moved through secondary school. Asking for money from my parents usually went like:
Me: “I need money”
My parents: “What do you need it for? Haven’t you eaten?”
Haha. Because why do you need money when you aren’t hungry?
Exactly. They didn’t understand that I needed money as a young boy in secondary school. Sometimes, I wanted to buy airtime for my phone, and other times, I just wanted money to get things without having to explain.
This need drove me to do one of the first things I did for money. My parents had a building project near our house. So, whenever the labourers came to work, I convinced them to allow me to assist in pushing wheelbarrows or picking up cement.
My parents and other people would look at me like, “What is this boy doing?” I didn’t mind. The labourers gave me ₦500 – ₦1k for my work, and I was happy. It wasn’t much money, but it gave me a sense of self-worth and relief.
The next time I did a proper job for money was in uni.
Tell me about it
I got a transcribing gig by chance during my student internship at 300 level, around 2016/2017. A few other students and I were posted to the same place, and one day during break, one of them just asked, “Which one of you sabi write for here?”
The guy was also a graphics designer who used to get random gigs. That day, he got a connect asking for someone who could transcribe interviews. I’d never done anything like it, but I said I could do it. He connected me to the client, and I made ₦5k – ₦10k per gig, depending on the length of the interview. It was a good addition to my ₦30k – ₦50k monthly allowance from my parents.
I got my next job during NYSC in 2019. That’s where my career started.
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What was the job?
Public relations in a PR firm. NYSC posted me to a school, but I didn’t want that, so I searched for other placements. I spoke to a friend who served in a creative agency, and he encouraged me to see his boss.
When I got there, there were no more spaces left for corps members. However, the boss liked how intentional I was about finding an opportunity, so he referred me to his friend, who owned a PR firm. The man hired me on the spot after looking at my practically empty CV and paid me ₦30k/month to do basic PR stuff: write press releases and a little copywriting.
My boss also owned a digital business magazine, and he gave me a few tasks when there wasn’t much to work on the PR side. Three months into the job, he came to the office and said he wanted me to try investigative reporting on the police at the Third Mainland Bridge. He wanted me to find out why they typically stayed there and get them to share their experiences with criminals.
So, I went there, related well with the officers, and got stories out of them. My boss was so impressed when I gave him the final story that he gave me $100 and said he’d retain me. He increased my salary to ₦50k, and then after NYSC, he promoted me to PR officer. The promotion came with another salary bump to ₦100k.
Not bad
It wasn’t bad at all. Within a few months, I got another increase to ₦150k. That job taught me everything I know about PR. My boss also enrolled me in a course with the Nigerian Institute of Public Relations (NIPR) to help me upskill and gain more knowledge. He saw my commitment to the job and was willing to invest in me.
In 2021, someone on the account management team resigned, and my boss didn’t want to hire someone new. So, he asked if I could manage accounts. I hesitated and said, “I can, but I don’t have the contacts of the different media guys I’d need to work with.” He just hissed and was like, “Is that all?” He sent me different media contacts, and that’s how work started.
I became an account manager, interacting with the clients and working on PR and marketing proposals and pitch decks. The new role came with a salary increase: ₦250k.
Was that good money?
Oh, it was. At that point, I was living with my parents and spending money anyhow — I had no responsibilities.
I stayed at that job for two more years and left in 2023 when I felt good enough to chase better opportunities. After I left, I took a six-month contract gig with a new real estate development company as their PR and comms manager.
My job was basically to set them up, overhaul their website copy, and provide PR and communications strategy for their executives and directors. They paid me ₦1m for the six months, which was technically less than what I would’ve earned at my previous job, but I wanted the experience to boost my CV and LinkedIn.
I also started living alone in 2023. I rented a ₦500k/year self-contained apartment and furnished it a bit. After the real estate contract ended, I moved to another agency as a PR consultant/account manager. My pay was ₦300k/month. I worked there for a year until I was unexpectedly laid off.
Darn. What happened?
I had a minor issue with the founder while working on a client’s brief. We’d travelled to another state for the project, and when I returned to Lagos, I saw the lay-off notice. It was three days to the month’s end, and there was no notice period or severance pay.
That’s when it dawned on me how terrible I was with money. I was the “salary is coming, let me spend money” guy. I had zero naira saved, and the money left in my account didn’t last two weeks. It was so bad that I couldn’t afford data and had to rely on the WiFi in my compound. I had to turn off all the lights in the house because I couldn’t buy electricity units.
I also started asking people for urgent ₦2k. These were people who used to ask me for money. I couldn’t tell people I lost my job; I just said salaries were delayed. I didn’t even tell my parents immediately. They only found out because they came to see me after I switched off my phone for three days, just crying and feeling bad for myself.
So sorry you went through that
Thanks. It was very difficult. I also had to deal with neighbours constantly asking, “You no go work today?” I’d just give them lamba and be like, “Oh. I’m working from home today.”
I was jobless for about three months. I kept applying for jobs but didn’t get past the interview stage.
To survive, I relied on loans and whatever my parents sent me. I had to turn to loans because my landlord increased my rent to ₦700k, and the rent was due.
I borrowed over ₦1m in those three months: ₦500k from my bank, ₦300k from a microfinance bank, $200 from my friend in the US and some other small money here and there. It was a whole thing. Thankfully, my unemployed stint ended in February 2024, and I started repaying the loans gradually.
Phew. You got another job?
Yeah. One of many applications finally panned out, and I got the role of PR consultant for ₦400k/month. I still work there today.
My experience changed how I approach my relationship with money and employers. For the latter, I now understand that they can let anybody go whenever they please, so I need to stay prepared for that. It’s one reason I happily took on another ₦255k/month job when the recruiter contacted me on LinkedIn three months after I started the first.
So, I juggle two jobs right now, bringing my income to ₦655k/month. Both jobs are hybrid, and they don’t know I work elsewhere. My mentality right now is to grab as many opportunities as possible. I won’t say, “Oh. I have a job. I don’t need this opportunity.” Employers are funny, and anything can happen, so I need to have as many safety nets as possible. I still plan to sue the employer who laid me off, but let me get my money up first.
So, are you debt-free now?
I still owe my bank about ₦450k. My biggest challenge with the loans is the interest, especially with the microfinance bank. The interest increased whenever I missed any payment, and I struggled to remain on schedule.
Also, when I borrowed $200 from my friend, I got ₦210k after conversion. But the exchange rate keeps changing, so after I finished repaying her, I paid ₦340k in total. I prioritised settling my friend and the microfinance bank first because they were on my neck. My bank has been pretty chill — they just keep adding interest. I’m trying to pay a monthly amount to settle the debt, though.
Let’s break down your expenses in a typical month
After making these expenses, I usually leave the rest of my salary in another account as an emergency fund. I currently have ₦150k in that account. I don’t touch it unless absolutely necessary.
How would you describe your relationship with money?
I’ve definitely become better. I’ve become more curious about finances. I read other Naira Life stories and seek out resources to improve my knowledge. I now know I’m not supposed to spend everything I earn in a month; I need to leave something aside and prioritise needs instead of wants.
My priority this year is to get even more serious with my finances. My sister doesn’t earn as much as I do, but she has really healthy savings. Even people who used to tax me for money before are doing well with their finances now. I need to become more intentional.
So far, I’ve noticed I might be more of an investor than a saver. I currently keep my money in two platforms: one to save for rent and the other for dollar investments. I save ₦58k/month for rent and put around $50 – $70 in my Risevest.
What do you invest in?
I don’t have a particular investment tool in which I put the money. I just indicated I want medium-risk investments, so when I put money in my account, the platform spreads it out for me, and I get monthly returns. My portfolio is worth $250 now. Even if I don’t get returns, I’m happy that my money is in dollars, so it’s safe from inflation.
What kind of life would you say your income affords you?
My life hasn’t changed much between when I earned ₦250k and now that I earn ₦655k. Inflation has messed everything up such that even things I could afford then, I can’t try them now.
Before, I could enter Urban Jungle or Mr Price, a clothing store at the mall on my way home from work and get a nice shirt or pair of jeans. I can’t do that now. To be fair, I lived with my parents then. Now I have responsibilities and bills to pay. Still, things are much more expensive.
That said, I’ll also admit my salary makes me a bit more relaxed. I can repay loans and not worry about how I’ll survive the rest of the month without asking for urgent ₦2k.
Do you think you’d have a different lifestyle if you didn’t have debt?
Definitely. My one-month salary would pay most of my rent, and I’d have a little more leeway. I’d also be able to invest more.
I’m already picturing how my December would look because I’d have cleared my debt by then. I’ve been through a lot, and I just want to relax. I’ll probably buy a new phone and go on a three-day staycation.
What’s an ideal amount you think you should be earning?
I’ll be fine with ₦1m/month. I’m constantly looking for jobs to earn more, partly because of my layoff PTSD and not wanting to ever be in a situation where I’m penniless again.
I’m working towards upskilling and getting more certifications so I can get there. Interestingly, I would’ve gotten a ₦1m/month job a few months ago, but they wanted someone with more marketing experience. I intend to build myself so I’m better positioned for these kinds of jobs in the future.
Is there anything you want right now but can’t afford?
A car. This isn’t coming from a “wanting to be a big boy” angle. Living and working in Lagos without a car is very stressful and frankly unsustainable. I can’t be jumping buses every time. A car would just make it easier to move.
The kind of car I want costs around ₦15m. It’s expensive, but I don’t want a smaller car. Perhaps when I clear my debt, I’ll explore car financing options where I can pay part of the cost upfront and pay the rest over a few years.
What was the last thing you bought that made you happy?
I bought my home appliances in 2023: a TV, fridge, gas cooker, and air conditioner. The whole thing cost around ₦780k.
How would you rate your financial happiness on a scale of 1 – 10?
6. I’m in a better place and no longer need to ask people for small loans. It will increase to a 7.5 or 8/10 when I clear my debt.
If you’re interested in talking about your Naira Life story, this is a good place to start.
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Patricia* (26) struggled with a non-existent relationship with her mum for years until a 2023 incident drove her to cut her mum off for good. In this story, she shares how trying to give her mum a second chance turned out to be a mistake.
Trigger warning: This story contains some descriptions of emotional and physical abuse.
As told to Boluwatife
People describe light-bulb moments as an experience of sudden realisation. Something you weren’t quite sure about suddenly becomes clear. My light-bulb moment happened on my 15th birthday. It was the day I realised that my relationship with my mum wasn’t normal.
I went to my best friend, Onome’s, house that day. Onome lived in my neighbourhood and I often went to her house after school. My mum worked at a hotel restaurant and returned home late, so passing time at Onome’s was almost a daily occurrence.
This time, Onome invited me. She’d cornered me at school and said, “Make sure you come to my house this afternoon.” I thought it was strange because I was always at her house. But I didn’t object and went anyway. I arrived to a mini surprise party.
Onome and her mum had cooked jollof rice and baked a cake. I would’ve doubted it was for me if it didn’t have a big “Happy birthday” written on it. I was so confused, but after thanking them both, I stylishly dragged Onome away to help me understand what was happening. The conversation went something like this:
Me: “What’s going on?”
Onome: “What do you mean, ‘what’s going on?’ We’re trying to wish you a happy birthday! Haven’t you celebrated your birthday with rice and cake before?”
The truth was, I had never experienced that. I’d seen my mum celebrate the birthdays of my stepdad and stepbrother, but when it came to mine, everyone went silent. The most I got was a “Happy birthday” and some muttered prayers. I’m unsure why I never really thought about it until Onome’s surprise. It was my normal, and I didn’t think it was a problem.
That day, I watched Onome’s interactions with her mum with new eyes. They joked, laughed and were gentle with each other. I watched Onome animatedly tell her mum about a new dress she loved in the market and saw how her mum smiled at her as she described the dress.
That was the moment it really hit me. I didn’t have that with my mum. Something was wrong with our relationship.
Join 1,000+ Nigerians, finance experts and industry leaders at The Naira Life Conference by Zikoko for a day of real, raw conversations about money and financial freedom. Click here to buy a ticket and secure your spot at the money event of the year, where you’ll get the practical tools to 10x your income, network with the biggest players in your industry, and level up in your career and business.
It’s not like I was completely oblivious. I knew my mum treated me differently, compared to my step-brother, but I just thought she was raising me differently because I was a girl.
While I did all the chores at home, my brother never did anything. He would break a window, and my mum would beat me because I should’ve “watched him closely.” The beating was always creative. She could use the buckle of a belt today, a metal hanger tomorrow, or put ground pepper in my private part the day after.
Then, she’d report me to my stepfather when he got home from work, often exaggerating my “crimes” so he’d also punish me. His preferred mode of punishment was “ride okada”. I’d hang in the air in a crouched position for what felt like hours, legs shaking and sweat pouring down, until he pitied and released me.
To escape the punishments, I tried to do everything right. I ensured the whole house was always clean, but my mum always found an error. It’s either I missed dust under the table or the beans I cooked was oversalted. When she wasn’t beating me, she was insulting me: “You’re so stupid,” “See your oversized nose,” “You’re a bastard,” “Like father, like daughter.”
By now, you can guess there was bad blood between my mum and my biological dad. My mum had met my dad at uni. He was her married lecturer, but somehow, she got pregnant. He denied the pregnancy and fled. He stopped teaching at the school, and no one knew where he went.
My mum didn’t get any support from her family, so she dropped out of uni to provide for me. She was a struggling single mum for over five years before she met my stepfather. Things got better, but she transferred the hatred and resentment she had for my dad to me. The resentment was clear, but it took me 15 years to see it.
I moved on to uni in 2015, and in the four years I spent there, I can count the number of times my mum called me on one hand. After the initial ₦5k she sent me at the beginning of the semester, she never called again or picked up when I called.
Once, in my first year, I borrowed money to travel home to see if something had happened to my mum, making her unreachable. She was fine. Instead, she screamed at me for coming all the way and “wasting” her money. She was like, “Who do you think will give you money to go back to school? You think money grows on trees?”
I got the message. She didn’t pick my calls because she didn’t want to hear from me. My stepfather gave me ₦10k to return to school the next day. He was also the one who paid my school fees. Left to my mum alone, I probably wouldn’t even attend in the first place.
Beyond school fees, I realised I had to be responsible for myself. I couldn’t depend on my mum for pocket money, so I had to make my own money. I did many things at uni for money: modelling, ushering, makeup, and even hairdressing. I didn’t make big money, but at least I made around ₦10k – ₦30k per gig and survived on that.
I graduated from uni in 2019, and by this time, I’d unofficially cut off my mum completely. I never went home to visit or call; she didn’t either. I only spoke to my stepfather once in a while. He probably knew the stalemate between me and my mum, and he hardly brought her up in conversation. Me, I was determined to make something of myself and never need her again.
After NYSC, I squatted with friends until I got my first big girl job in 2021 — social media manager and writer at a tech company for ₦200k/month. That job was a lifeline.
My boss was the most generous human on the planet. They bought me lunch and dashed me small money here and there. This generosity helped me aggressively save around 70% of my salary, live comfortably, and still afford to share a ₦500k apartment with a friend.
In 2022, I reconnected with my dad by chance. How he found me is a really long story, but it helped that we share a striking resemblance, and my mum made me use his surname. He came to see me — he lives abroad — and apologised for leaving. Apparently, he didn’t have any other children and wanted to be in my life.
I probably shouldn’t have forgiven him so easily, but it was the first time a parent showed that much interest in me. I’m not ashamed to say I wanted to feel that love. So, we reconciled, and while he had to return abroad, he started sending me money occasionally to support me.
By 2023, my salary had bumped to ₦350k, and I’d grown my savings to ₦3.3m. This was minus the random $200 or $500 my dad sent me periodically. In summary, I had money and didn’t lack anything I needed.
Then, out of the blue, my mum reached out to me. I didn’t even know she still had my number. She called, crying and begging to meet up with me. The mistake I made was to invite her to my house.
She came and gave me sob stories of how my stepfather had kicked her out and how my brother had become a drug addict. She apologised for how she had treated me, and claimed she hadn’t reached out for years because she was ashamed. She also said she’d been struggling with managing my brother’s violent behaviour when he was on drugs, and it had contributed to the breakdown of her marriage.
It was the first time I ever saw my mum look so down. She’d lost so much weight and looked so tattered, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for her. Now that I think about it, I guess I thought she’d finally accept me if she saw how useful I could be to her. So, I decided to help her and give us a second chance at building a mother-daughter relationship.
I took her in and started feeding her. I even sent my brother to a rehabilitation centre and paid for it. He escaped after a month. I just accepted that I tried my best and left him to his antics.
For three months, my mum was nice to me. She talked to me like a human being and seemed interested when I told her about my day. She didn’t hint at what she actually planned to do. I just know that one day, I woke up and couldn’t find my ATM card.
I told my mum about it and mentioned blocking it from my bank app, but she discouraged me. She said she’d seen it the previous day and was sure it just fell somewhere in the house.
Suspecting nothing, I went to work. Around noon, I started seeing debit alerts. Some of the alerts were from betting websites, and others were ATM transfers and withdrawals. Before I could block the card, the thief had wiped 80% of my savings — over ₦2m. I rushed to the bank, but those ones kept telling me stories. I called my mum to inform her, but her line was unavailable.
I went home that day to an empty house. My mum had packed my TV, freezer, generators and washing machine. My neighbour said she’d told him I was moving out. It took me weeks, but I finally traced my mum to her new apartment. When I confronted her, she begged and said she had no choice. My brother had been calling her for money, and she knew I wouldn’t give him, so she gave him my ATM card. I still don’t know how she figured out my PIN.
I should’ve arrested that woman and made her produce her son, but I was tired of the whole drama at that point. I could’ve fought and somehow gotten my money back, but I suddenly lost energy. It was super clear to me that she’d returned to my life only for her son’s benefit, and I just wanted to leave the whole situation.
Losing the money hurt me, but even more hurtful was having to accept I’d never have a mother-daughter relationship. She still tries to call occasionally, but it’s my turn to ignore the calls.
I’m still trying to work through not letting the absence of a mother’s love define my life, but I’m sure of one thing: I’m never giving my mum a second chance again. There are motherless people, and orphans all over the world, and they haven’t died. At least I have my dad. I’ll be fine.
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Making the decision to take your healthy skin journey seriously is one thing; finding the will to stay consistent is another. How on earth am I supposed to remember to reapply sunscreen throughout the day?
Finding products that work
If you thought skincare was as easy as rubbing cream, think again. You have to consider your skin type and find the right products for it. Suddenly, you’re a scientist, testing formulas and lotions, trying to find THE one.
Then, the products suddenly become expensive
You finally found the best products. All the blemishes have disappeared, and everyone is complimenting your glow. Then it’s time to restock, and you see the wonders inflation has done to the price tag.
Those God’s favourites who have a degree in gatekeeping
When you see people with perfect skin and ask for their secrets, only for them to say, “I drink water and mind my business.”
Resisting the urge to jump on every product recommendation
No one told you when you started this skincare journey that you’d have to physically hold yourself from entering every skincare influencer’s page and buying every product they recommend. No, Bisi, you don’t need another moisturiser. The one you have from Adunni Organics is fine.
If you’re not careful, you can accidentally start bleaching
Apparently, some skincare manufacturers these days don’t know the difference between “glow” and “bleach”. Because why on earth is a moisturiser making me six shades lighter?
Pro tip: You can trust Adunni Organics not to “accidentally bleach you.” Their glow kit has been formulated using high-quality plant-based raw materials to condition, exfoliate, and moisturise the skin, giving a healthy glow from head to toe. Skincare without stress? Adunni Organics is your plug.
You can get the Adunni Organics Glow Kit on their website to kickstart your own healthy skin journey and give your skin the care it deserves today.
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The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.
Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.
How long have you been with your partner?
It’ll be four years in December.
How did you meet?
Tunde and I met at uni. I was in my final year, and Tunde worked with my project supervisor. He had graduated for a few years, but the lecturer kept him around as a teaching assistant. So, I often sent my chapters and received feedback through Tunde.
I didn’t even know he liked me until he told me over WhatsApp after my project defence. He later told me he didn’t tell me earlier because he didn’t want me to feel pressured because of his influence over my project. I found that really sweet.
I can’t even remember how we started dating. I just know he’d come to my hostel almost every night with suya, and we’d drink garri and gist. Before I knew it, we were calling each other “babe” and chatting for hours. Now that I think about it, this man didn’t even toast me. Wow. He scammed me.
Scrim. What were the early days of the relationship like?
It felt like I was in a romance novel. Tunde was so sweet with words — He still is. I sometimes joke that he used sweet mouth to blind me to the fact that he was broke. To be honest, we were both broke.
I was a broke fresh graduate preparing for NYSC, and he didn’t have a real salary. He made small money here and there from the lecturer. So, we didn’t go on dates like new couples usually do. But I didn’t really feel it because Tunde has always been so intentional.
His first birthday gift to me was a pencil-drawn image of my favourite picture at the time. He didn’t have money, but somehow, he got his friend to draw it, and he put the drawing in a frame. I still have the frame.
Join 1,000+ Nigerians, finance experts and industry leaders at The Naira Life Conference by Zikoko for a day of real, raw conversations about money and financial freedom. Click here to buy a ticket and secure your spot at the money event of the year, where you’ll get the practical tools to 10x your income, network with the biggest players in your industry, and level up in your career and business.
That’s so sweet.
Things got better in 2022. I went for service, and allawee was enough to provide my basic needs. I served at a school that paid ₦5k extra and provided accommodation, so it was manageable.
On the other hand, Tunde started a printing business in school. He also wrote projects, assignments, and presentations — basically anything students needed. It wasn’t big money, but he could afford to visit me once every two months where I served.
Who handled the bills for these trips?
Tunde paid his transport fare, but I took care of the food. He stayed weekends whenever he visited, so I only had to cook two or three times for the duration of the visit. Sometimes, I supported his transport with ₦2k or ₦3k.
I finished NYSC in 2023 and moved in with Tunde. We thought it’d be a waste of money to rent another place. Also, our families knew we were together, and we both knew we wanted to get married, so it made sense to live together and get to know each other’s daily habits better.
How did that turn out?
Honestly, I wasn’t expecting any friction since we’d already been together for two years. Omo, we had several misunderstandings. I’m not a morning person, and I don’t like people talking to me immediately after I wake up. But Tunde is the complete opposite, so there were a few arguments on that. He didn’t understand why I’d just be squeezing face early in the morning.
We also had some issues around financial expectations. A few months after I moved in, I got a receptionist job at a microfinance bank, and Tunde started expecting me to handle bills. He’d only drop ₦5k for food weekly and expect me to handle the rest.
Initially, I supplemented whatever he gave me with my money without complaining. But after a while, I noticed I was struggling.
My salary was ₦80k, and transport already took over ₦15k. By the time I removed ₦5k here and there almost every week for food money and settled my personal needs, I’d be broke before the end of the month. To make it worse, whenever I turned to Tunde for extra money, he’d say, “You need to manage your money well. What are you spending on?”
At some point, I got angry and complained about him leaving the food expenses to me. He didn’t understand my point and thought I was complaining about contributing to our expenses. It caused a huge fight, and we didn’t talk to each other for three days. It took the intervention of a mutual friend to settle that issue.
We discussed and understood that it was a communication issue. He didn’t know I was spending so much on food and thought I could handle it. While I thought he was leaving everything to me.
How did you both handle expenses after that?
It mostly became a joint effort. Tunde handled things like rent and NEPA bills while I handled food, but we often chipped in for whatever expense, depending on how much either of us had.
We also became more transparent about our income. It’s not like we hid money from each other, but we started talking more about how much we had at a time so we could work with our pockets. Tunde also started sending extra money to me because I’m better at saving money. He started doing that last year to save for our wedding, but I got pregnant, and we had to pause wedding plans.
Oh. Why, though?
My dad’s church doesn’t allow weddings when the bride is pregnant. So, the only option was to wait until I gave birth. It’s not like we even had the money for a wedding anyway. We’d only saved about ₦300k, so we used it to buy baby things.
Right now, it’s not looking like a wedding can happen anytime soon. I had to quit my job when I was heavy because my employer didn’t have any allowance for maternity leave. They even told me they’d hire someone else when I gave birth. I had my baby in January and only just got another job as a teacher in June. Tunde also got an NGO job in April, which relocated him to the North.
I’m not excited that he moved away, but it’s a good opportunity. His business in school wasn’t doing well, and this new job pays ₦350k/month. We need the money. My own salary is just ₦55k, but I had to take it because I can take my child to work and leave him in the school’s daycare.
So, you both are doing long-distance now
Yes. I can’t move to join him because we’re concerned about insecurity. The plan is for Tunde to work and save for at least two years so he can quit and return home. Then, we can start thinking about a wedding.
How does romance work in a long-distance situation and with a baby?
We do video calls a lot. Because of the cost and distance, we might not do frequent visits like that this time. So, maybe we’ll do trips once every four or five months. We’ve not seen each other physically since he left in April.
I’m mostly doing childcare alone. Tunde sends ₦50k monthly to support, and his sister comes over twice or thrice a week to help, but it’s mostly just me. It gets hard sometimes, but I know we have a plan to work towards, making it easier.
You mentioned Tunde’s savings plan. How’s that safety net looking?
Since April, he’s been sending me ₦200k monthly to save for him. I use a savings app, so I lock the money there. I also try to save ₦10k monthly. Currently, we have ₦630k saved.
To be honest, that’s enough for a tiny wedding, but I sincerely want a big one, or at least a moderate one. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime occasion, and I don’t want to look back at my wedding pictures in regret. There’s still time. I can wait.
What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?
To comfortably afford everything we want. Owning a house feels impossible with this economy, but I’d like that for us one day.
Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.
*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.
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Every week, Zikoko seeks to understand how people move the Naira in and out of their lives. Some stories will be struggle-ish, others will be bougie. All the time, it’ll be revealing.
Grow your wealth in both dollar and naira, earning up to 15% in USD and 25% in naira. With flexible rates that move with the market, you can switch between wallets anytime to match your financial goals. Start here.
What’s your earliest memory of money?
In SS 3, a bank came to my school and opened accounts for the students. Mine remained inactive until it was time for JAMB lessons. I can’t remember how much the lesson fee was, but my dad transferred the money to my account, and I paid the lesson fees for the period I spent there.
It was the first time I handled money. Before this, I hadn’t thought much about money because my parents handled all I needed.
Does that mean there was money growing up?
We weren’t Otedola-level wealthy, but we were okay. My dad was into construction, and my mum had a provision store. We had enough to meet our basic needs and extras like going to Apapa club to swim once a month.
When was the first time you worked for money?
2018. I was in 300 level and did a three-month stint with a radio station for SIWES (Students Industrial Work Experience Scheme). They paid me a ₦10k monthly stipend. My job was to tweet what was happening on air. If a song was playing, I had to tweet, “Now playing: XYZ.”
I also managed their WhatsApp sometimes. Other times, they sent me to buy food. I didn’t like the job at all. The moment my SIWES ended, I told them I wasn’t returning the next day.
Haha. Was it that bad?
It was a toxic environment. Interestingly, before my SIWES, I wanted a career in radio. But I experienced it and decided, “Nah.” Also, the salary was terrible.
My salary as an intern was ₦10k, but full-time staff earned only ₦80k. The stress was a lot, too. Imagine entering hours of traffic to come on air, talk for hours, and go home on ₦80k.
After SIWES, I returned to school and lived on my ₦10k monthly allowance. I’m not entrepreneurial, so there was no hustle to want to make money. My goal has always been to get a 9-5 job and be comfortable with my consistent source of income.
However, in 400 level, I started battling anxiety about what I wanted to do with my life. Radio was out of the picture, and I needed other options. So, I started applying for different jobs, hoping to find something that’d stick.
Did you find any?
Yes. My sister introduced me to someone who wanted a content manager. They were starting a travel blog on Instagram and wanted someone to create content calendars and post content. It was a remote role, and the pay was ₦20k/month, so I took it.
The work was so overwhelming, though. I had to create and post all the content. I was also juggling my final-year project, so I barely slept. I didn’t last a month. To be fair, I wasn’t good at the job. I had no experience, and I was doing rubbish.
My boss complained about the content, too. One day, she just said, “Don’t worry,” and paid me ₦10k for the half-month I worked with her. I was so excited when she took the job back. I was already tired but didn’t want to quit, so her sacking me was very welcome. I think that was my confirmation that I’m not a hustler like that.
I’m dying. What did you do next?
I just focused on school. In my final year, my allowance increased to ₦20k/month, plus provisions from my mum, so I was comfortable. On days when I was really broke, I went home — I schooled in the same state where my parents lived — and collected more provisions.
I wrote my last paper in uni in 2019 and suffered another round of anxiety and panic attacks. I had no clue about what to do with my life, and it bothered me. NYSC was next, and even though I wasn’t sure what I wanted, I knew I didn’t want to teach.
I started applying for jobs so I could serve at the organisation when it was time for NYSC. I applied to anything and everything until I landed a ₦40k/month customer service internship at a music distribution company. Two months later, I started NYSC, and the ₦33k stipend increased my income to ₦73k/month. This was 2020.
Join 1,000+ Nigerians, finance experts and industry leaders at The Naira Life Conference by Zikoko for a day of real, raw conversations about money and financial freedom. Click here to buy a ticket and secure your spot at the money event of the year, where you’ll get the practical tools to 10x your income, network with the biggest players in your industry, and level up in your career and business.
Was that good money?
Ah. I felt like a millionaire. I got the first allawee at the orientation camp and ate all the money. After the excitement died down, I committed to saving the ₦33k stipend and living on my ₦40k salary. I was living with my sister, so I didn’t worry about rent or major bills.
In early 2021, my graphic designer colleague at the office switched careers to UI/UX design. One day, I saw him working on Figma and asked about it. He explained it. I was just like, “Wow. I love this. I want to design apps, too.” I decided there that UI/UX was what I wanted to do with my life.
What made you love it?
I just liked user experience. I was already good at customer service, and I thought UX was a bit similar to what I already knew. User experience involves researching people’s behaviour and designing what you think they need based on this information. I honestly just loved the idea of working with Figma and designing. Also, I was getting tired of customer service.
My colleague trained me on UI/UX, and I learnt like my life depended on it. I also started applying to product design internships, and in March, I got one with a marketing agency. They paid me ₦50k/month, and since it was remote, I could do it with my customer service job.
I’d literally resume work at my 9-5 and be doing my product design side gig in the same office. So, at this point, I had three income sources: allawee, my customer service 9-5 and my product design internship.
Nice. How did you juggle both jobs, though?
My 9-5 job wasn’t very demanding; I’d answer two or three calls, respond to five emails, and then sit at my desk for the rest of the day.
The product design job was more demanding. I was a design novice, so I was learning and working simultaneously and getting feedback. It was a lot of work, but I enjoyed it. It was a three-month internship, so I only worked there until June.
After the internship, I continued my job search. A few weeks before my service year ended, I landed a job at a fintech. It was also a customer service role, but my salary was ₦150k/month.
I thought you wanted product design?
I had to collect customer service like that for the money. Also, it was a popular fintech, and I thought it’d be a great addition to my CV. I reasoned I could hold the job for a while and switch departments later.
I worked at the fintech till the middle of 2022, when I unfortunately lost the job.
Ah. What happened?
I did something stupid. A customer complained about something, and instead of sharing a screenshot to show we had fixed their problem, I sent someone else’s account information. Then the person went to tell the CEO, “Is this how you train your customer service staff?” and it became a whole thing. In summary, I lost my job.
I thought it was the end of the world. It was my only income source, and I thought I’d just die. I was only about a year into adulthood and ready to end everything. I had about ₦350k in my savings, but losing my income overnight really messed with my head. Honestly, it was very dramatic, but I was so traumatised.
Phew. Sorry you went through that
Thanks. I moved back in with my parents, so the job loss didn’t have much financial impact on me. I didn’t have responsibilities, but I couldn’t imagine not earning an income. So, I jumped into job search again. In fact, the very next day after they fired me, I was applying for jobs.
It took me four months to land my next job. Funny enough, I didn’t apply for the job. Someone from a bank just called me and asked, “Did you apply for this customer service role at XYZ bank?” I said yes, even though I was sure I didn’t.
The person sent me the interview details; I did the interview and got the job. At this point, I needed money more than any career or passion. I just wanted to be independent and afford what I wanted again.
Real. How much did the role pay?
₦316k/month. Towards the end of 2022, the bank did a general salary increase, and my salary moved to ₦400k.
In 2023, I got tired of customer service again. I started considering branching into tech and doing something more product and user-experience-inclined. Fortunately, one of the product managers resigned during this period, and the bank started trying to fill the role.
I just went to my boss and told her I wanted the opportunity. Although I had no experience in product management, I was willing to learn on the job. She agreed and gave me the job.
They didn’t mind that you had no experience?
I was already a superstar in customer support, so they trusted that I could learn easily and do well. Plus, I had experience with the product I was supposed to manage, which was also essential.
That switch was the scariest thing I’ve ever done. I left my comfort zone entirely for something I knew nothing about. However, I was determined to succeed because I wanted to leave the monotony of customer support.
The career switch also came with a salary jump. It increased to ₦615k at first, then ₦699k after a company-wide review in 2024. Then, a few months ago, I got a promotion and now earn ₦1.1m/month.
That’s an interesting jump
It is. If I didn’t make that career switch when I did, I’d probably only be earning around ₦600k because the bank doesn’t promote people in customer support.
I didn’t even believe the promotion until the money hit my account in June. I’d never received a ₦1m alert at once, and it felt surreal. I still don’t know what to do with the money.
How would you describe your relationship with money?
I used to have a very toxic relationship with money. In uni, I was so scared of going broke that I’d starve myself to save.
That behaviour followed me for most of my life, and it got worse when I first got the customer support job at my current workplace. I started living independently for the first time in 2023 and was always anxious about money.
I had to worry about meeting my ₦800k rent and covering my living expenses alone. To deal with my anxiety, I spent only on food and rent. I never left my house or did anything with my money because I didn’t want it to finish. Still, the money always finished. It was a very toxic situation.
However, I’ve gotten more comfortable spending money since I started earning more. I do a lot of retail therapy now. I can just enter a supermarket, walk around and put things in my cart. I also visit restaurants and hang out with my friends. It also helps that I left my place and moved in with my brother in 2024. My landlord was moving mad, so I left and haven’t gotten another place since. So, no rent anxiety.
I think I’m now in a space where I’m learning to balance my anxiety and form a healthier relationship with money. My increased income has contributed to this. I even started investing for the first time this year.
How are you going about that?
A friend introduced me to an investment platform I started using in February. I try to put ₦150k monthly into it: ₦50k in US stocks and ₦100k in mutual funds.
I’ve not been consistent with it, though. Right now, I only have $80 in US stocks and ₦150k in mutual funds.
My core savings account is healthier than my investments. I save an average of ₦100k monthly and currently have ₦1.7m saved. Then, there’s another ₦200k in my emergency fund. I started the emergency fund two months ago because life showed me pepper.
My laptop spoiled, and I had to spend almost all the money in my account to fix it. That incident taught me never to be unprepared again, so I’m intentionally planning for emergencies. After I save, invest, and sort out my bills, I put around 10% of what’s left into my emergency fund.
Let’s break that down into typical monthly expenses
What do the next few years look like for you?
Honestly, I’m confused about what I want to do with my life. When I moved in with my brother, I planned to stay for six months and see if I could process japa to leave the country.
However, the process was more complicated than I thought. I wrote IELTS and entered the Express Entry pool for Canada, but my scores were too low. My travel consultant said I should learn French or do Agric or nursing. It was too complicated.
Plus, I got a salary increase, and now I don’t know if I want to leave the country or get an international job. I know most Nigerian companies can’t match what I currently earn, so my options are either to leave or get a job that pays in foreign currency sometime later. I don’t know what I want to do yet, and it’s bothering me.
No one is pressuring me, but I’m pressuring myself. I need to figure out what I want to do quickly. I’m doing well professionally and financially right now, but what’s the next step? What’s the next phase of my life and career? Do I need to acquire more skills to earn more? I have so many questions.
I also don’t want to live with my brother for too long. Either I get my place by the end of the year, or the japa plan works out, and I relocate. I just need to know where I’m supposed to go from here.
I feel like I don’t have to ask, but why do you want to leave the country?
I just want to experience a normal, stable country. Financially, this country isn’t working for me. No matter how much my salary climbs, I find myself struggling. Tell me why I’m earning ₦1.1m but can’t afford a decent mini-flat in Yaba, Lagos? I have to save for a couple of months to rent an apartment. How are the people who earn less surviving?
I also don’t want to regret not leaving this country. Things keep worsening, and the people who could’ve left during Jonathan’s regime now regret missing the opportunity. I don’t want to be in their shoes.
I get you. What was the last thing you bought that made you happy?
My phone. I got it in May for ₦750k without stress. I saved for two months to make that purchase, and I didn’t go broke after I bought it. It was the first time I’d made a big purchase without struggling. When I bought my laptop for ₦1.2m in 2024, I starved for three months just to make up for the amount I spent. I almost died.
I’m screaming. What’s one thing you want right now but can’t afford?
I want to get a tech MBA abroad, which should cost at least $25k in tuition, accommodation, and other expenses. Who has that kind of money? Not me.
How would you rate your financial happiness on a scale of 1-10?
8. My current lifestyle isn’t so bad. That figure will reduce to 6 if I start paying rent today.
If you’re interested in talking about your Naira Life story, this is a good place to start.
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“How do people even make this money?” That’s a question you’ve probably asked yourself at least once. How do wealthy people think? What rules do they follow to build (and maintain) their wealth?
We asked 10 Nigerians, each with a net worth above ₦5m, to share the one rule they swear by to stay on top of their money game. From savvy lifestyle choices to calculated risks, these high-flyers have cracked the code to success.
Rule #1: Understand how your money comes and goes
For Korede* (31), having multiple sources of income and tracking how money enters your account is not enough; you also need to keep an eagle eye on what takes money out of your account.
“It’s very important to know your numbers. I’m constantly tracking how I spend and looking out for what I call money holes — activities that consistently consume money but don’t bring in real benefit. It helps me to identify what takes the larger percentage of my money and see how I can spend less.
For instance, I used to rely heavily on food delivery apps. I thought I was saving time by outsourcing my meals, but I calculated my monthly food expense, and it was about ₦800k. For context, I earned ₦2.5m/month then. A whole 32% of my income was going to food delivery apps.
So, I deleted the apps and joined a meal service that cost only ₦300k. I still saved time, but I spent less and repurposed the money I saved to things that benefit me more.”
Rule #2: Live below your means
It’s tempting to flaunt what you have and increase your expenses as your income increases. But if you ask Joan* (38), she’ll tell you to resist the urge to splurge.
“I think it’s better to build wealth than display it. When I get a salary increase, I condition my mind to imagine I still earn my old salary for at least six months. So, I keep my expenses within the same income range as before and save or invest the extra. That way, I can make even more money (via interest and returns) on my income.
A senior friend once told me, ‘If you keep upgrading your lifestyle as you earn, it’ll get to a point where money is never enough for you.’ I’ve found that to be true. Since I don’t feel pressured to maintain a lifestyle or look like I’ve arrived, I’ve been able to cut down unnecessary expenses and focus on building wealth for the future when I can’t work anymore.”
Rule #3: Money should never be stagnant
Saving is great, but there’s a thin line between saving and hoarding. Joseph* (33) thinks you may be doing yourself a disservice if all you do is keep money.
“I believe your money should work for you, whether it’s making your life better or passively growing. I used to keep my money in the bank, afraid of touching it. However, I read finance books and learnt that moving away from a scarcity mindset is one of the best ways to recognise opportunities for wealth creation.
Now, I have a rule against keeping money stagnant. If I’m not investing in a business or using digital investment channels for passive income, I’m saving it in a high-yield savings account and compounding interest. If I’m doing neither, I’m seeing how I can convert it to value for myself and my family because we also need to enjoy the money.”
Join 1,000+ Nigerians, finance experts and industry leaders at The Naira Life Conference by Zikoko for a day of real, raw conversations about money and financial freedom. Click here to buy a ticket and secure your spot at the money event of the year, where you’ll get the practical tools to 10x your income, network with the biggest players in your industry, and level up in your career and business.
Rule #4: Have an emergency fund
Lanre* (29) says you should think of your emergency fund as vex money in case life and the economy ever decide to move mad.
“My emergency fund is separate from my regular savings and investment portfolio. It’s liquidity that can save me if anything happens; job loss, economic downturns, bad investments or any unforeseen circumstances. It’s the reserve that makes sure I don’t starve while I try to get back on my feet.”
Rule #5: Use debt to your advantage
Taking loans can feel like something only people struggling to survive resort to, but Osas* (36) insists that rich people have debts, too.
“The key is to use debt to your advantage. Rather than borrowing to consume, borrow to build wealth by using the loan to invest or acquire assets that appreciate over time — even better if you can secure a low-interest loan.
Sometime last year, I borrowed about ₦3m to invest in commercial papers and some stocks. I repaid the loan with 12% interest but earned 38% interest on my investments. So, I made enough to repay the debt and still had extra without touching my own money.
If I didn’t already have a car, I’d take a loan to buy it rather than save for it. Because I can be trying to save ₦15m for the car, but inflation has happened by the time I gather the money, and the car costs double. But if I’m just repaying the loan, it doesn’t matter if the car now costs more. I just pay what was agreed.”
Rule #6: Build a system for wealth creation
Bastard money hardly just falls on people; it’s often a gradual process. And for Fiyin* (44), it involves intentionally building a money system.
“I have a set percentage of my income that goes to my savings and investments; it’s non-negotiable, and I’ve done this for 15 years. I also have a financial advisor who helps me make the best investment choices and financial decisions.
I realised early that I wasn’t the best at handling money, so automating my savings helped me to keep money aside even when I wasn’t actively thinking about it. I also didn’t have much financial knowledge, and my advisor helped fill that gap.
This system works for me. Everyone should recognise what works for them to get the best results from their money.”
Rule #7: Cultivate relationships with like-minded people
Your circle influences your thinking and, according to Feyi* (30), even your financial status.
“My closest friends are very intentional about their finances. There’s no way my financial planning won’t improve when I’m always with people who constantly talk about promising stocks and investment opportunities.
The extent to which a person dreams or aspires depends on their exposure. If all you do is listen to someone who thinks the height of wealth creation is to own a house and a car, you’ll likely limit yourself to that, too.”
Rule #8: Focus on your personal finance journey
There’s no single path to building wealth. Banji* (36) has learned the importance of picking and choosing what financial advice and strategy to follow.
“It’s easy to base your decisions on what’s trending at the moment. I once lost money in crypto because everyone was shouting about it, and I didn’t have proper knowledge. Now, everyone is shouting about Nigerian stocks. It’s best to cut through the noise and understand what works for you first before investing.
Take personal finance courses and speak to people with more knowledge than you. Most investors have emergency funds and safety nets in case their investment risks don’t pay off. Don’t go and take the same level of risk with your ₦50k salary and zero savings.”
Rule #9: Always take informed risks
The biggest financial rewards often come to those who take smart risks. While it is important to understand your risk tolerance, Judith* (30) says it’s impossible to grow wealth by avoiding risk entirely.
“Building wealth isn’t just about making money; you aso have to multiply your money. And to do that, you will likely have to invest in risky things like stocks, real estate or even business. The key is to take informed risks. Learn as much as possible about what you put your money into. But always put your money out there.”
Rule #10: Manage lifestyle creep
Lifestyle creep is when your standard (and cost) of living increases as your income increases. Ope* (31) says you may not always be able to avoid lifestyle creep entirely, but you can manage it.
“I think it’s inevitable that your lifestyle improves as you make money. To manage it, I make sure these lifestyle changes veer towards value and long-term benefits rather than just show-off.
I joined a couple of social clubs and moved to a better residential area to expand my network and meet people in the social classes I still aspire to reach. I work in real estate and have landed several projects based on this strategy alone.”
*Names have been changed to protect the respondents’ identity.
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The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.
Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.
How long have you been with your partner?
Three years and some months. We started dating towards the end of 2021.
How did you meet?
We met in 2020 on WhatsApp. We were both 200-level students of the same university and members of a school WhatsApp group. The group was mostly for fun and cruise.
One day, someone sent my picture to the group. I got angry and asked the person to take it down. Yinka messaged me privately, asking me not to be angry about the picture since it was just for jokes.
After that incident, we kept talking and realised we lived in the same neighbourhood. That’s how we became friends. He’d come to my hostel at night and we’d gist with my roommate. I was in a relationship then, so we were just friends for a while.
However, my boyfriend didn’t have my time. We often had issues, and I’m quite emotional, so I was always crying. Yinka was there, supporting me emotionally and even financially. I eventually left the other guy, and Yinka and I started dating.
You mentioned Yinka supported you financially?
Yes. We were both students without major sources of income, but Yinka often supported me with ₦1k here or ₦2k there. He did that because he was aware of some issues I had with my sister, whom I depended on for pocket money.
I wanted to try network marketing to sell goods and make money, but my sister preferred that I help out in her shop. We disagreed, so she stopped giving me money, and Yinka stepped up. His only source of income was the ₦10k – ₦20k monthly allowance from his parents, but he helped with random cash and food items. I also did a two-month stint at a hair salon during this time.
Six months into our relationship, my roommate moved, and I couldn’t afford rent on my own — I was still having issues with my sister — so I moved in with Yinka.
What was that like?
It was really nice. Initially, Yinka handled almost all the expenses. He gave me money when we needed to cook, and sometimes transport fare to school. But my mum later found out about the issue with my sister, and she started sending me the occasional ₦2k to manage. So, I was able to contribute to the expenses as well.
Yinka and I were very transparent with money. Whenever either of our parents sent us money, we spent it together. We didn’t have major issues in the two years we lived together. I might not have left at all if he hadn’t cheated.
He cheated?
Yeah, but I know why he did. We haven’t had actual sex since we started dating. I have undiagnosed vaginismus. Undiagnosed because I don’t have the money to go to a proper doctor, but my symptoms point to that condition.
I found out in 100 level when I was making out with a guy, and penetration became impossible. The guy even said, “Are you sure you have a vagina?” It was funny because I see my period and everything. I don’t just know why that happened. Since then, I have tried several times. My ex even dedicated a whole day to trying, but it didn’t work. Instead, I went home with body pains.
I’m sorry you had to go through that
Thanks. I told Yinka about my condition before we started dating, and he told me that he would try to wait until I could. So, when I saw the chats between him and another student, it broke me. We talked about it, and he stopped. I considered that he wasn’t really the type to do something like that, so I forgave him.
A few months later, I saw another set of flirty chats between him and a church member, and I just got tired. I kept thinking of how I’d get my own place so we wouldn’t date again. I even started flirting with someone else online, and Yinka saw the chats. I was just ready to leave.
I gathered money from my mum and some money gifts I received on my birthday, rented a ₦40k/year room and moved out. This was in 2023, and I was in my final year. About a month later, Yinka came and said we should forget everything and start afresh.
What was your response?
I agreed. Honestly, Yinka is a good person to me, and I consider him my best friend. I think having someone else is normal for guys, so I can cope. In fact, I told him last month that he’s free to satisfy his needs outside.
You did?
Yes. Yinka always wants us to try to see if sex will work, and it’s a major inconvenience for me. We’ve tried lubricant and everything. I don’t want him to feel like I’m denying him.
So, I told him he can have sex with other people, but don’t let me find out. However, he said doing it outside would be expensive since he’d spend money, and he’d rather wait. So, that’s where we are now. Also, we moved back in together a few months ago.
Oh. Why?
I graduated late last year and thought I’d have been called for NYSC by now, so I only paid six months’ rent. Unfortunately, NYSC hasn’t worked out yet, so I’m living with Yinka while I wait.
In the meantime, I got a job as a shop assistant, earning ₦40k/month. I also design on Canva and occasionally get design gigs, but those don’t come regularly.
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Do you and Yinka share living expenses like before?
I’ve been handling the expenses this time. Yinka is almost perfect, but his small flaw is being laid back. He’s so focused on getting freelance design gigs that pay in dollars that he doesn’t want to do any salary work. When he doesn’t get gigs, he prefers to sleep at home.
I feel like it’s not realistic to rely on gigs that come once in a few months. I’m not complaining about handling the bills; it’s the least I can do considering all he’s done for me. But I’m worried he’s not thinking about the future. I don’t mind cleaning for money if necessary, but Yinka selects what he wants to do. His parents were ready to give him money to learn a skill he showed interest in a few months ago, but he just stopped talking about it.
I don’t like how Yinka isn’t making efforts for his future. He had an extra year, so he’ll be graduating this year. I’ve asked him, “What if freelancing doesn’t work?” He said he doesn’t know, but he might start a business. Where will the capital for the business come from? He said he’d figure it out when he got there.
Hmmm
It’s a major concern for me because of my family background. My mum was a “married single mother”. My dad wasn’t there financially, and she single-handedly raised the children. My sister’s husband also doesn’t have a particular job he’s doing. I don’t want that for myself.
I’m always talking to Yinka about my concerns and why he needs to be intentional about the future. But it’s always like I’m talking to myself. I can talk for two hours, and he’ll stay silent throughout. When I finish talking, he’ll just say, “I’ve heard” and continue what he’s doing. I’ve decided I won’t say anything again.
I can’t even talk to anyone about these concerns because it’d be like I’m painting him badly. Our friends know we’ve been together for a long time and expect we’ll get married. So, I’ll be like the bad person if I complain about his only flaw.
But do you see yourselves getting married?
I’m confused. I see a future with Yinka, but that financial aspect is crucial for me. He’s supposed to be the leader, and I can support him. I don’t mind supporting even if he’s broke to minus zero. I just want to see him step up. Even if the job pays ₦10k, do it. I’ve done several odd jobs for money, and I want someone who can complement me in that area; someone with an even higher drive to get things working. I don’t see that in Yinka, at least not so far.
Hmmm. How do you both keep the romance alive in your relationship?
This will sound ridiculous, but we’ve never gone on a date. Our journey has mostly been struggling to feed and graduate. I love romantic stuff, but there’s no space for it now. I’m even trying to save for when NYSC finally calls me. There’s no room for extra expenses.
How’s that safety net looking?
It’s nothing much. I just try to save at least ₦1k monthly in a savings app. I also met someone online a few months ago, and he’s been very supportive financially. He sends me random money and internet data. During my convocation, he sent me ₦20k. I know he’ll turn up when it’s time for NYSC.
There’s nothing romantic going on, but I know he probably wants that. He’s separated from his wife and doesn’t know I have a boyfriend. I know it sounds like cheating even though nothing is going on, but omo, anything to survive. I’m sorry, but I need all the financial help I can get.
What does the future look like for you and Yinka?
Honestly, it’s not very bright. It doesn’t look like he’ll change, so I may leave him after I go for service. I can’t keep advising a 25-year-old if he doesn’t want to be intentional. Deciding to end things will be heartbreaking, but I’ll have to do it.
Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.
*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.
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Every week, Zikoko seeks to understand how people move the Naira in and out of their lives. Some stories will be struggle-ish, others will be bougie. All the time, it’ll be revealing.
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What’s your earliest memory of money?
I was 18 years old and had just finished secondary school. I needed money to pay for my exam, so I worked at a bakery for ₦100/day.
What exam?
GCE. I remember that was the one I could afford. NECO was free because it was relatively new, and WAEC was too expensive. I needed to write both, so I settled for external GCE.
I worked at the bakery until I gathered the ₦7500 exam registration fee. It was a lot of work, but also my only option to raise the money. My parents couldn’t afford it.
What did your parents do for money?
My dad was a welder, and my mum was a petty trader. They had six children, and we all lived in a single room. Try to imagine eight people living in one room. It was so bad.
I remember growing up, my dad earned ₦10k/month. He’d remove ₦3k for his transport fare and give my mum the rest to buy food for the month. On the other hand, my mum jumped from selling one thing to another, depending on which moved faster.
My siblings and I also helped her hawk these items after school. I hawked everything from kuli-kuli to fried fish and dried ponmo.
Back to the GCE. I wrote the exam and got good grades. Unfortunately, my sibling and I finished secondary school at the same time. My elder brother was also in the polytechnic. By my calculations, my parents couldn’t afford to send us all to a higher institution. I had to look for another way to make money.
Did you find any?
I did. One of my dad’s brothers drove for a banker, and I joined him at the quarters where he lived. His neighbourhood was filled with car dealers who lined cars on the road, so I started helping them wash the vehicles.
My pay was ₦10k/month, but I frequently made more from tips and extra money from my oga, especially when he made a sale. Sometimes, I made up to ₦25k or ₦30k monthly. December was the best month, especially when the diaspora guys came and paid in cash. I could make up to ₦40k in December.
Would you say it was good money?
It wasn’t mine to spend alone, so I couldn’t do much with it. I planned to save some of my salary for school, but I also had responsibilities.
I had to support my uncle. He was a driver, so he wasn’t buoyant. He had two wives back in our hometown, and travelled to see them every month. So, after I collected my salary, I’d give him ₦7k to hold. Sometimes, he borrowed money from me and never paid it back.
There was also black tax. I had to send money home to support my brother in school. Sometimes, I’d get calls from home after my brother had come home and packed all the food back to school, so of course, I’d have to send money. Then, I’d survive on the remaining money left for the month. I saved a little, but it wasn’t enough to do much.
I worked at the car dealer for about two years. Something interesting happened along the way.
Tell me about it
I started attending a church in the area, which reshaped my mind. I joined a cell group, and my cell leader helped me set values for myself; to look beyond my circumstances and see how I could be more. I knew I couldn’t continue washing cars indefinitely. My hands peeled a lot because of the water and soap. I kept praying and asking God, “What next?”
Then one day, while cleaning the cars and preparing to close, I met a pastor. His car had issues and stopped near our parking slot, so he asked me to help him. I pushed the car into the slot, and even lent him a battery from one of our cars to start his car. We tried several things. Still, the car didn’t start.
The pastor begged to drop the car there overnight, and he’d send his mechanic the next day. At this point, it was 10 p.m. I agreed, but refused the money he offered. He returned the next day with his mechanic, and I still refused money after the car started working. Surprised, he gave me his card and said I should call him. I didn’t remember to call him for days.
Ah
I stumbled on his card one Sunday after service and called him. He told me to come to his office, which wasn’t too far from where I worked. When I got there, he was with his friend. The friend asked, “Is this boy you’re talking about?” Apparently, the pastor had told him the story of how I helped him without collecting money.
To cut the story short, the pastor asked me to work with him. He was also a real estate consultant. Me that was already looking for job. I immediately agreed.
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What were your duties?
I just followed him around, running errands for ₦25k/month. The errands were mostly, “Go give this survey plan to XYZ person.” I didn’t understand how real estate or surveying worked, but I wanted to learn. A fellow employee who studied estate surveying and valuation taught me the basics, but I didn’t fully understand it.
After six months of working with the pastor, I decided to leave. The ₦25k wasn’t great, considering I didn’t get tips like at the car slot. My salary hardly covered my bills. The office was also not as close to my house as the car slot, so I spent more on transportation. It wasn’t worth it.
So, what did you do next?
I decided I didn’t want to work under anyone again. I moved back home and asked around for people who could teach me surveying. I didn’t have the money to attend school, but I knew the basics and needed someone to train me.
A relative finally introduced me to a surveyor, and I put my heart and soul into learning the business. I’d trek about an hour every morning to the surveyor’s office. Once there, I’d clean, run errands, and follow the surveyors everywhere. They took me to sites, taught me to read tape, and sent me to the Ministry of Lands to process approvals. I caught on quickly and was training younger people in the office within months.
Were you getting paid?
I wasn’t working under the surveyor, so I didn’t have a salary — I was just learning the business. However, I made money from practising what I was learning and doing my own thing. I find it easy to relate to people, so I befriended many of the ministry’s staff. It helped me get a lot of opportunities.
Someone could just ask, “I want to sell this land, but I don’t have a survey plan. Can you do it?” I always said yes. I’d go there, measure, and they’d pay me. Sometimes, I charged up to ₦100k. Other times, I negotiated a percentage of the land sale.
I was the guy who knew how to do everything. Want to buy land? I can help you with the property search. Need a Certificate of Occupancy (C of O) or building approval from the ministry? It’s me. Whatever it was, I did it. People also constantly referred me for jobs.
Between 2006 and 2009, I comfortably earned up to ₦250k/month — sometimes more. I rented a mini flat, furnished it, and even had an air conditioner.
Energy!
I was making cool money. In 2009, I planned to finally go to a higher institution to get an actual certification in surveying. I even rewrote the GCE because the first one I did was for science subjects, and I needed commercial subjects for surveying. I passed, but had to pause school plans again, like the last time.
What happened this time?
I got someone pregnant. She was my church member, and the church didn’t want to hear that we had the baby outside of wedlock. So, we got married and I had to leave my school plans to focus on my family and increased responsibilities.
This was the same period I got my big break.
I’m listening
I met someone who would turn out to be my long-term business partner. Let’s call him Alhaji. We sat beside each other on a bus, and I noticed he was a property guy because he was on a call.
The person he spoke to on the phone asked him a logic question: How many acres make one hectare? The person probably wanted to make sure Alhaji knew the business he was trying to sell. I noticed Alhaji struggled with answering the question, so I whispered to him, “It’s 2.5 acres.”
After Alhaji finished his conversation, he turned to me and asked if I was a surveyor. I said yes, and he said he’d like to work with me. He was a property consultant and needed a surveyor to work hand-in-hand with him. We exchanged contacts, and within a week, I got my first big job from him: ₦10m.
Woah. How did that happen?
Alhaji had acquired a lot of land in Ibeju Lekki and Ajah, which were just springing up. He wanted to build an estate on one of those massive sites and needed someone who could handle it. It was a waterlogged area, meaning double work.
I did the job, signed the perimeter copy, and lodged the record with the ministry. Everything went smoothly, and he was happy. I was extra happy. It was the first time I made so much. I couldn’t sleep. For one week, I was just shouting.
That job was such a major step for me. Prior to this, I’d bid for jobs worth ₦2m – ₦3m, but the clients wouldn’t call me back, except when they had smaller jobs of ₦150k – ₦200k. When I asked why, they’d say I was young and clients were sceptical that I could handle big jobs. I was 24 or 25 years old.
Hmmm
I’ll forever be grateful to Alhaji for trusting me with that opportunity. He took me along on subsequent jobs, and my network expanded. I met more people who were willing to pay well for my work.
I also got a recurring gig with a telecommunications company. They needed a surveyor to convert latitude/longitude data to UTM coordinates and use that to acquire land to erect masts. Those gigs took me around Nigeria and made me good money.
How good was the money?
I made between ₦1m – ₦4m per gig, and they came consistently for a year. I built my first house that year and bought a Toyota Muscle. This was around 2010/2011 when the car had just entered Nigeria. Me too, I did big boy.
After the gig ended, I faced my regular surveying jobs, making money here and there. Then, in 2017, I started thinking about more ways to make money. I didn’t have a problem finding clients, but the ones that paid well didn’t come daily. After much thought, I decided to build a hotel. It seemed like a way to get steady business.
I discussed with a friend, and we found land near my area for ₦5m. I paid for it and did the necessary documentation. Three weeks later, my friend called and said someone just priced it for ₦7m. A ₦2m profit in less than a month? I sold the land immediately. That incident gave me the idea for my next business: buying land to resell.
How did you go about that?
I began diverting any money I made from surveying into buying land. After selling the first one, I found another full plot of land with a small house on it. I bought it for ₦12m and made an extra ₦6m after reselling.
Trust land agents, they started calling me regularly to inform me whenever land was available. I bought another one for ₦15m and sold it for ₦25m; ₦10m profit just like that. At one point, I thought, “What if I build on these lands and sell the property?” A bag of cement was still ₦2600. It wouldn’t cost me too much to build, and I’d profit even more.
So, I bought three plots of land for ₦28m. I sold part and designed the rest like a mini-estate. I built the first duplex for ₦20m, and sold it for ₦40m. I used the ₦40m to build three more house units to sell. By the time I finished the mini-estate, I had close to ₦100m in my account. It blew my mind.
I mean, my mind is blown too
Since that first experiment, building houses and mini-estates for sale has remained a consistent income source. Land value and people’s interest in it increase as soon as they see a building on it. I pay attention to the entire infrastructure, from securing NEPA poles to getting prepaid metres and interlocking the roads to ensure people invest.
I don’t build all the time. Sometimes, I just resell the land for a profit. I haven’t abandoned surveying either. My old clients still call me for surveying jobs, and I can’t tell them no. I don’t reject “small” jobs. All I need to do is just drop my big car and carry the small one to the site, so they don’t get scared and stop calling me.
In fact, I recently went to do a ₦100k job. I still go to the Ministry of Lands myself to sort out approvals and relate with the staff like I used to. The only difference now is that I’m also doing my own thing in a big way.
What’s your current monthly income like?
₦100m is a typical average from my surveying and real estate companies. In a good month, I can make up to ₦200m. It can also be as low as ₦10m in a bad month, especially when I’m in between projects.
It typically takes me three to four months to complete a project, and I can work on two or three estates simultaneously. I have engineers who work for me, but I like being able to get to my sites to check on progress quickly. Clients are often ready to buy my buildings as soon as they’re complete because I’ve built a reputation for using good materials. Sometimes, they buy while we’re still painting.
In addition to my businesses, I have five properties that bring me ₦15m in rent annually and a ₦70k/day shortlet.
You’ve literally gone from 0 to 100. How has your income growth impacted how you think about money?
Once you use money well, it will work for you. I think everyone must reach a point in life where their money works for them even while they sleep. That’s the level I’m currently at. I don’t need to think about where money will come from because I’ve created a process that allows it to come in steadily.
I also don’t keep money. As it enters my hand, I channel it back to the business. About two years ago, my account officer tried to get me to save ₦100m in treasury bills, but the returns didn’t make sense. I think it was supposed to be about ₦1.5m.
Why would I lock money up somewhere for small returns when I can use it to build a house and make double my investment? So, I don’t save money anywhere; everything returns to the business.
Are there risks to putting all your money into the buildings, though?
Not really. I’m a technical surveyor, so I know how to acquire good land. I know the potential problems to look out for, and I don’t go near government commitment lands.
That said, I still have problems with Omo Onile from time to time. I lost ₦15m to an Omo Onile dispute a while ago. The dispute became a police case, but I later abandoned it because it wasn’t worth it.
Why chase ₦15m when I could make more without stress? I just took it as a lesson. Before I make any purchase now, I meet the Oba and every community leader. If there’s a need for settlement, I tackle it immediately.
Out of curiosity, what kind of lifestyle does your income afford you?
Well, I have the resources, but I live a moderate life. I still live in the same house I built years ago, and my three cars are easy to maintain. I have one driver, and my children don’t attend overly expensive schools. My typical expenses are mostly food and school fees. I don’t live extravagantly at all.
Let’s break down these expenses into a typical month
I think I comfortably live on less than ₦2m in most months:
My ajo contribution also serves as my travel budget. My share is usually ₦2m at the end of the year, then I add more money to it to travel overseas for a short break.
Is there anything you want right now but can’t afford?
Not at all. The only reason I wouldn’t be able to get it is if I don’t want it.
How about the last thing you bought that made you happy?
I did a crazy thing and bought a 2022 Jeep two months ago for ₦25m. I just thought, “All this money I’m making sef. How much am I even eating out of it?” Material things don’t necessarily make me happy; I just wanted to splurge on something, and I chose the car.
Do you typically feel that way? Like you’re not spending your money on yourself?
Of course. I don’t even eat much, so it’s not like I’m using the money to buy food. Sometimes, I feel like I’m making all this money, but I’m just there. I don’t do anything out of the ordinary.
However, I remember what it was like for my family to live in a leaky room, so I still work. Also, I take God’s word seriously, and it shapes my mindset. I know he expects me to live a greater life and achieve more, so I keep gunning for more. I set targets to hit higher financial levels because I want to improve and do more.
What are some of these levels you still want to reach?
I listened to a podcast the other day, and the real estate guy said he bought land for ₦3.4bn. I knew this person years ago, and even the land he was talking about.
This person might’ve had better funding opportunities, while I started my own small small. But I know I can attain such a level too; where I can push bigger projects, employ more people and change their lives too.
Recently, one of my workers told me about the house he just built. Another one said he was planning to build close to me. Those are the things I like; I want to directly impact other people’s success as I grow as well.
I should mention that I finally returned to school about two years ago. My colleagues kept saying it was past time to have gotten the certification part sorted, so I’m back at it.
Rooting for you. How would you rate your financial happiness on a scale of 1-10?
9.5. I learned how to use my money well, and the results speak for themselves.
If you’re interested in talking about your Naira Life story, this is a good place to start.
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Most people expect that married couples share everything: bodies, homes, responsibilities, and essentially, their entire lives. However, this shared intimacy doesn’t always extend to their finances.
In Nigeria, stories of one partner not being open with their finances for several reasons aren’t strange. We spoke to six married Nigerians who keep money secrets from their spouses. Their different reasons tie into a common rationale: keeping quiet gives you freedom of choice.
“I couldn’t tell my wife I lost ₦10m, so I sold our car and lied about it” — Austin*, 39
In 2023, I borrowed ₦10m from a banker friend to settle agent fees and proof of funds to japa to Canada. I planned to repay this friend after I relocated and found work abroad. Unfortunately, the travel agent turned out to be a scammer. Both the ₦10m and the visa disappeared.
Fortunately, my friend was understanding and allowed me to pay in instalments, but there was a bigger problem: My wife had no idea I even started the japa process, so I couldn’t tell her I lost money.
I didn’t mean to hide it from her. I’d been trying to leave Nigeria since 2019 but encountered roadblocks, from the US denying my visa thrice to spending money and time trying to get MBA scholarships. At a point, my wife banned me from trying to relocate again.
She said it was clear that my destiny was tied to Nigeria. But I didn’t accept this; instead, I hid my plans from her. I thought I’d surprise her when the visa came. I was the one who ended up getting surprised.
At first, I paid my friend ₦200k monthly to settle the debt, but my salary was only ₦450k, and my wife started getting suspicious at the rate at which I was getting broke. I knew I had to do something drastic when she started snooping through my phone to check if I was cheating. So, I sold my car for ₦4.9m and lied to her that it got stolen. It didn’t completely offset my debt, but my friend told me to forget about the balance.
Sometimes, I get the odd feeling that my wife actually knows what I did and hasn’t brought it up to keep the peace. I might also be overthinking it because of my guilty conscience. Unless she confronts me about it, I don’t intend to ever tell her.
Join 1,000+ Nigerians, finance experts and industry leaders at The Naira Life Conference by Zikoko for a day of real, raw conversations about money and financial freedom. Click here to buy a ticket and secure your spot at the money event of the year, where you’ll get the practical tools to 10x your income, network with the biggest players in your industry, and level up in your career and business.
“I have a secret emergency fund stash in case of eventualities” — Ezinne*, 29
My husband and I have a joint account where we save for our house project, but I have another savings account for my emergency fund stash, which I keep from him.
I don’t hide it for negative reasons. I’m not hurting anybody; it’s just for eventualities. I’ve heard many stories of women getting stranded because their men died untimely or started carrying other women. I don’t think my husband can cheat, but I know women outside these days also use juju to catch men. It’s better to stay prepared.
I’ve been growing my emergency funds since we married, and I currently have ₦6.5m in it. I have a business, so I regularly deposit a percentage of my profits in my stash before I send it to our joint account.
“My wife has never known my actual salary” — Lanre*, 33
Since we got married in 2023, I’ve made sure to give my wife a slightly reduced version of my income. I currently earn ₦600k/month, but my wife thinks I earn ₦400k. I do it to save myself from unnecessary billing.
My wife is ready to help you spend every last kobo once she knows you have money. That’s her only flaw, and I’ve learnt to manage it. Hiding my actual salary helps me save the extra for rent and emergencies.
Sometimes I wonder if she actually sits down to think about how I manage to meet most of our bills. But she’s just carefree like that. It’s funny because she should know I finish my “supposed” salary almost every month. How, then, do I manage to pay rent when the time comes? Maybe she thinks I perform magic.
“I keep my gambling problem a secret” — Rotimi*, 41
I‘m not a gambling addict, but I have a small problem staying away from sports betting platforms. I know how harmful gambling can be, so to help myself, I only gamble on the weekends.
My wife knows I like sports betting, but doesn’t know I do it every week. She would never approve. It’s easier to keep my habit a secret because she won’t understand how careful I am with my bets. I spend ₦10k weekly on the bets and try not to go over that. I just see it as a hobby that sometimes pays me. I don’t always win, but when I do, it’s like extra cash.
The last time I won a bet was two months ago when I made ₦31k from ₦2k. I still used the money to buy something for my wife.
“My husband doesn’t know I pay my brother’s school fees” — Joy*, 31
My husband doesn’t get along with my two younger siblings. He thinks they’re entitled and disrespectful, and while I agree with him, he takes his disapproval to the extreme. It has gotten to the point where my husband doesn’t even like seeing my siblings in my house. I’m constantly trying to manage his emotions whenever they come around.
So, it’s a no-brainer to hide the fact that I pay my brother’s school fees. My parents are late, and my husband thinks my brother puts himself through school. He knows I help with pocket money, but doesn’t know I pay the fees too. If he knew, he’d just add “lazy” to my brother’s list of crimes, and that’s another headache I’d rather not deal with.
“I’m constantly shopping online, but my husband doesn’t know” — Favour*, 31
My husband and I live in different countries, so it’s easy to hide how much of my money goes into shopping. I’m a sucker for beautiful things, and my cart is always full. I receive a $200 monthly allowance from my husband, and I spend it all on shoes, bags and clothes.
He often wonders when I complain about needing money by the middle of the month, but he blames inflation and the high cost of most things. I know he won’t mind that I buy things for myself, but he’d surely complain about the frequency of these purchases, so I just keep them to myself.
I know my secret will still cut when we finally sort out my visa and I relocate to join him. For now, I’m enjoying the freedom.
*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.
