Ibukun, Author at Zikoko!

Nigerian dads are really fashionable groups of people and their style and sense of fashion are mostly neglected. However, fashion items are not the only things that can be found in a Nigerian dad’s wardrobe. Here’s a list of things you’ll definitely find in a Nigerian dad’s wardrobe.

1. Kangol caps.

Nigerian dads and their brothers are single-handedly keeping the Kangol cap industry in business. There is nothing a Nigerian dad can’t wear with a Kangol cap. It is their identity and their heritage and that’s ok.

2. Khaki shorts.

Is he even a Nigerian dad if he does not have this pair of shorts? This is the Nigerian dad’s closest relationship with the colonizers.

3. This pair of sandals or something similar.

The Kangol cap, the shorts and this pair of sandals and the Nigerian dad’s look are almost complete. It’s not our business to tell them these sandals are ugly. They love them and that’s all that matters.

4. Branded tee-shirt from religious or political events.

If you go through your dad wardrobe, you’ll find at least 5 of these kinds of tee shirts. The dad’s who consider themselves cool dads only wear them to the gym or to work out on days they remember.

5. Birth certificates of his other children you don’t know about.

This isn’t always the case, but it’s not impossible either. You’d either find the birth certificate in his wardrobe, in his bank safe or in his will. Check his wardrobe very well, you don’t know what you’ll find.

6. Belts.

You’ll actually find multipurpose belts in a Nigerian dad’s wardrobe. Some belts are used to hold up their waists, some are used to break their children’s backs and spirits. And some other belts do both.

7. The Fedora hat.

You might not be able to relate to this if your dad is above a certain age. Sorry, no offence. This hat is another favourite for Nigerian men after the Kangol cap. This hat signifies a certain level of coolness – or maybe that’s what they say to themselves when they wear it.

8. Half shoes.

Nigerian dads have carried this trend and style on their backs since it was invented. This is also an “I want to be considered a cool dad” look. Are the shoes even comfortable?
Women are very intentional about who they trust with their health and quite a number of women have talked about their different encounters with male and female gynaecologists. For this piece, we asked a few Nigerian women to share their experiences with male and female gynaecologists and here’s what they had to say:

Kim, 26

I have visited both male and female gynaecologists and the experience was the same with both of them. I felt comfortable enough to trust them with my body. There was no fear or judgement; both of them were kind and patiently answered all my questions.

Both visits weren’t in Nigeria. I visited the first gynaecologist in Ghana because I was experiencing irregularities with my period. A female gynaecologist attended to me on that visit to the hospital. The second visit to the gynaecologist was in Nigeria and I was attended to by a man. I was met with the same patience and kindness by both of them.

Sarah, 20

I was 12yrs old when I first visited a gynaecologist. I had menorrhagia and my mum was scared. My male gynaecologist was really nice and welcoming. I have been attended to by another male gynaecologist and he was also very nice. He also made me feel very comfortable.

I still look forward to being attended to by a female gynaecologist.

Racheal, 25

Personally, I had mostly good experiences with female doctors than I did with male doctors and I always picked female doctors over male doctors. A few years ago, I had to do a surgical abortion at a teaching hospital and chose a female gynaecologist for the procedure. She was mean to me, she insulted me and was really rough with me. I cried all through the procedure. The male gynaecologist in the room held my hand and was consoling me throughout the procedure.

She was to insert an anal antibiotic pill in my anus after the procedure, and it wasn’t a small pill. She kept shoving it forcefully into my anus without lube and tearing me up till I started to bleed from my anus. The pain was so intense I cried a lot. She continued to insult me, saying when I was enjoying the sex I didn’t cry. When she couldn’t get the pill in, she just threw it away and stormed off. A nurse helped put the pill in more gently. I couldn’t sit well on my butt for 3 days after that experience.

I was 20yrs old at the time of the procedure and the procedure was a manual vacuum aspiration.

Nora, 23

When I was 17yrs old, I found out I had appendicitis and had to go for an appendectomy. I was advised to see a gynaecologist before going in for the procedure. I was met by a male gynaecologist before proceeding with the appendectomy procedure. The visit was very uncomfortable. It was my first time seeing a male gynaecologist and having to take all my clothes off for the medical examination. Midway into the medical examination, another male gynaecologist walked in. The second gynaecologist was a student.

I was still barely dressed and on the bed when the first gynaecologist started to teach the second gynaecologist. I was obviously very uncomfortable with what was going on, but he still continued. I was hoping he was going to read my body language, but that unfortunately didn’t happen. I eventually voiced out my discomfort to him, he didn’t apologise, he even wanted more time with me to continue teaching his student.

A few years after that, I was diagnosed with PCOS and had to visit a gynaecologist again. This time, I was attended to by a female gynaecologist. She was warm and very kind. It was a far better experience than my first visit.

Kike, 18

Two of my friends got diagnosed with ovarian cysts and womb cancer within a short period of time and that prompted me to visit the gynaecologist. When I got to the gynaecologist’s office, he immediately told me to take off my clothes and underwear, lie on the bed and spread my legs. This made me very uncomfortable and the manner in which he said it was always not helping. His tone sounded very commanding and brusque. I had to lie to him that I was on my period and I was going to come back another day for the medical examination. I have not been back to his office since that day.

Tosin, 25

When I was 16yrs old, I had to go in for a pelvic ultrasound and it was done by a male gynaecologist. He was patient with me, however, he dismissed the other symptoms I complained about and reduced them to stress. A few years later, I had to visit another gynaecologist and I was diagnosed with PCOS. It was another male gynaecologist. He immediately told me to lose some weight and prescribed oral contraceptive pills. His approach also felt very dismissive. I opted for a second opinion and went to see a female gynaecologist. She was more patient, she recommended a different treatment and she shared her experience treating other women with PCOS. I felt a lot more comfortable with her and I have been hesitant to visit male gynaecologists after seeing her.
Most young people want their parents to be proud of them, a lot of us appreciate validation when it comes from the people we love the most and look up to. For this piece, we asked a few young people to share different reasons why their parents are not proud of them.

Toun, 20

Image used for descriptive purpose.

I am the only child of a first son and I always feel like I am not doing enough. My parents don’t voice that they aren’t proud of me, but I know. My parents don’t know me and it feels like I am constantly hiding around them. They think I’m a straight Christian and that’s the part of me they like. It’s obvious that my parents are proud of the side of me that gets promoted at work and gets good grades, but they disregard the side of me that’s living with depression, anxiety and is gay.

I live in fear because I am always hiding even when I want them to see every side of me and be proud of me regardless I don’t know how long I am going to hide the side they are not happy with. It’s worse that I can’t talk to them about what I am going through because they’ll make it about themselves and not me.

Habibah, 25

I’ll share 2 instances.

I don’t have a 9-5 yet, so I run a business. My Mum doesn’t like that I run a business instead of working a 9-5, but I do it because I don’t want to be idle. She has also mentioned learning a skill, but I’m not interested in any of those things. She doesn’t hesitate to shade me with this from time to time about my unemployment. I’m trying to learn some non-coding ways of getting into tech.

One time, we were on our way to see my other Grandpa and she asked “What will I say you are doing if he asks what you’ve been up to since you graduated?”. I was shocked by her question because I don’t know if my business is a joke to her.

Another one, she went with her friend to her daughter’s convocation. She got back and didn’t stop talking about how the girl made her Mum proud and how their whole family attended. She said she was so impressed. Then she concluded it by saying I probably didn’t go for mine because I graduated with very bad grades.

PS: I didn’t attend my convocation because I was in Lagos then. I thought that it was unnecessary to travel to my school which was outside Lagos.

Jumoke, 25

My dad was very abusive to all of us and I got the brunt of the abuse. I was a very curious child and my dad hated it. I am plus size and it was obvious my dad hated that too. He’d go out with my brothers and show them off, but I didn’t let that get to me.

My parents split up when I got into university and my father immediately disowned me. I studied law in university, hoping that it would help me get his attention he didn’t reach out all through my time in university and had finished law school by the time he reached out trying to mend our relationship.

I haven’t gotten the great job he hoped I’ll get right out of law school and it’s quite obvious he isn’t proud of who I am right now. My dad is a boastful person and I have not yet given him a reason to fully boast yet.

Sade

I have a strong personality and a pretty face so although I have A sized boobs with a small bum(flat chest and flat ass), I still get a ton of attention from guys. My mum has a problem with my body though, one would think it should be the opposite, but I get a lot of demeaning looks from her. She hates that I’m flat-chested and not tall.

She always points it out when we are visiting people or when she sees other girls my age with big or medium breasts and she has gone as far as suggesting I buy breast enlargement products. We ended up buying it for 50k and it didn’t work at all. I told her before that those things don’t work but she didn’t listen but I’m happy she did it and would finally let the breast enlargement products rest.

I’m still not insecure about my body because I get attention from both guys and girls. In fact, I tend to shy away from attention.

I’m my own source of strength and so it drains me when people try to project.
Oral sex is a form of sexual pleasure performed by orally stimulating the vagina. Not everyone knows how to perform oral sex properly and some women have experienced the displeasure of terribly performed oral sex. Here are some experiences of the worst oral sex some women have received.

Chidera, 25

It was the best and the worst. He was very enthusiastic but was also very rough. I was having a great time till he shoved his long fingernails in it became bloody. I never answered his calls after that experience.

Seye, 21

A friend of mine once told me to come to see him so we would have sex. I didn’t want to at first because I knew he was seeing someone I just didn’t know who, but he pleaded and said he’s been wanting to have sex with me even before he got into a relationship so I agreed. We started making out when I got to his place. He always used to brag about his head giving skills and I wasn’t really a fan of head back then. This guy laid me back and started to give me head, but I really wasn’t feeling it and despite his saliva, I could tell I wasn’t getting wet anymore. I thought I’d just give it some time since I wasn’t used to receiving head. The next thing I know, this dude bit my clit. It wasn’t pleasurable, it wasn’t kinky. It was just painful and wrong and I told him to stop.

Dora, 22

One time I told my ex to go down on me, he spat on my vagina and started licking it with a very obviously disgusted face. He spat on it again, before I told him to stop. We broke up a month after that incident and I have never let a guy give me head again.

Nara, 24

My worst experience was with my current boyfriend. He refused to give me head because he says the vagina is an internal organ and he doesn’t feel comfortable putting his tongue in it. Even though he knew I wanted it and I begged him to do. He eventually attempted it twice, the first time, I climaxed, the second was sloppy and too wet. I have never brought up the subject again.

Ebi, 20

I linked up with this babe for the first time after knowing her for a bit. Our conversations were going well, and she started to touch me down there. We decided to eat some food before proceeding. We ate some spaghetti, unfortunately for me, the spaghetti had a lot of pepper in it. I assumed she had given her mouth a good rinse before going down on me, but that wasn’t the case. By the time she was done giving me head, my vagina was on fire. I had to use water to cool it down. We haven’t had sex since then.
PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) is a hormonal disorder that is common in women of childbearing age. PCOS has different side effects, varying from obesity, to irregular periods, fatigue and so many other symptoms. Here are a few things many women with PCOS can definitely relate to.

1. Always needing a tweezer.

Hirsutism is a common side effect of PCOS which oftentimes occurs as facial hair. Women with PCOS understand the struggle of always needing to have a tweezer nearby to pick out hair from their chin or the most random spots on their faces.

2. The weight gain.

Gaining weight due to PCOS is not such a fun experience, especially for women who battle with weight loss and self-image issues. Some women gain so much weight and struggle to lose it.

3. Getting told to lose weight.

A common remedy that is often recommended to a woman with PCOS is being told to lose some weight or try out a new lifestyle regimen. A lot of gynaecologists suggest weight loss like it’s the balm of Gilead.

4. Trying out different supplements and hormone treatments.

One thing women with PCOS are definitely going to do is try out supplements. They don’t care for the price of the supplements and they are always willing to pay for hormone treatments and period inducers.

5. Dealing with fatigue from nowhere.

Fatigue is one of the main symptoms of PCOS. You don’t have to do so much more work before you are hit with fatigue from nowhere. Sometimes you wonder if the fatigue is from your funny working uterus or if you are just a lazy person. It’s not you, it’s your uterus.

6. Having to deal with different bouts of sadness.

See, one of the most confusing things has to be sadness. You can be sitting by yourself and get hit with bouts of sadness from nowhere.

7. Trying out different meal plans and diets.

From KETO to any other meal plan you can think of; PCOS babes have tried out all of them.

Are you looking for more information about PCOS? Famasi Africa has worked on a resource, and it’s full of practical tips and essentials for Nigerian women navigating PCOS. Find it here.
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A few people have come out to say they noticed some sexual tension between Oba and Ade Tiger from the stellar TV show King Of Boys. We don’t know how they noticed the sexual tension or why they did. If you watched King Of Boys and you noticed any tension, please do one or two of the things on this list.

1. Pray for yourself

You need to close your eyes and pray. The thoughts running through your mind are bad. There is down bad and there’s you and it is only prayer that can bring you out of the deep depth of horniness you are in.

2. Close your laptop

Close your laptop and start thinking about your life, make sure you reflect on why such a thought even crossed your mind in the first place. You can go the extra mile by throwing the laptop away so you never have to use it to watch tv shows that’ll make you think such thoughts.

3. Switch the tv off

The first step is to switch off the tv, the second step is to break it into pieces. We are not even being extra or dramatic. After switching off the tv and breaking it, make a pact with yourself to never watch tv shows again. Period.

4. Wash your eyes

Make sure you wash your eyes with soap and water. We’ll have told you to wash your mind, but we don’t know how possible that is. Removing your eyes completely would have been a really good option if it wasn’t so dramatic.

5. Read your Bible or Quran

Religious or not, pick up a Bible or a Quran and read one of them. You are clearly in dire need of spiritual redemption.

6. Sleep

Just go to bed, sleep for nothing less than 12 hours so you can wake up refreshed with new thoughts. Everyone knows that tired minds think worrisome thoughts.
Pepper Soup is a watery dish made in different parts of the world with different techniques and ingredients. Countries and cultures around the world have their different version of it. Peppersoup has a lot of nutritional and health benefits. Nigerian pepper soup comes in different forms. There is the goat meat pepper soup, fish pepper soup and many other different variations of the meal.

The condiments included in the meal is all dependent on the preference of the person cooking it. The most important thing when learning how to make pepper soup is getting the right balance of flavours. Here’s how to make pepper soup.

Ingredients

Hot pepper

Uziza leaves

Crayfish

Pepper soup spices

Seasoning cubes

Onion (small onions)

Salt (for flavour)

Water (depends on how much peppersoup you are making)

Your choice of protein (Goat meat, fish, chicken)

Plantain, yam or potatoes (optional)

Cooking instructions
1. Wash your choice of protein and cut them into cutlets. Transfer the cut out pieces of protein into a cooking pot and add your seasoning cubes, salt, hot peppers and some onions and cook for 30 mins. Some proteins do not need to cook for as long as 30 mins.
2. After the protein has cooked for an adequate amount of time, add the peppersoup spice, ground ginger and some ground pepper (ata gigun) into the pot and cook for another 10 mins. Add the uziza leaves when the mix has cooked well.

3. If cooked with either plantain, yam or potatoes, please add in the plantain, yam or potato when the peppersoup spice is being cooked.

4. Ensure the cooking time is a little longer than 10 mins so the plantain, yam or potatoes can be properly cooked. You can also make sure of pre-boiled yam, plantains or potatoes to avoid overcooking the proteins.
People move on from relationships in many different ways. Some people move on in less dramatic ways and some move on in more dramatic ways than others, in hopes to make their ex-partner feel hurt too. The people in this article chose the more dramatic ways to move on. They talk about the most dramatic things they did after a breakup.

Jojo

Image used for descriptive purpose

I burnt his clothes. He left more than half of his stuff at my place and he didn’t think they were worth coming back for and that pissed me off. My reaction was to burn his clothes with me in the room. I think I hoped I’d pass out from the smoke or something. I just sat there in my smoky room and watched them burn.

We dated for 15 months before we broke up.

Femi

I was neither the heart breaker nor the heartbroken, but I was an active participant in the dramatic reaction to the heartbreak. I, however, got permission from heartbroken to share this. This event happened in 2001.

My friend got heartbroken by his girlfriend who was in a class higher than his at the time. After the breakup, he took me and two other guys to her room in the school hostel. He drove us in a minibus. We emptied her room. Each of us left her room with a different item. Imagine four big men going into the female hostel and coming out with one item after another. We took a small CD player, bookshelf, mattress, a few shoes (which of course had been worn) and the linoleum carpet which came off last and even the foam underlay. It was a complete rout. The only thing left in her room were her books and clothes and her small camp gas cooker.

All of this happened because he found out she had another boyfriend. When she was asked to pick between him and her other boyfriend, she chose the other boyfriend. She married the other boyfriend, who turned out to be the better choice.

Many years after the incident and my friends and I still laugh about how silly and dramatic the breakup was.

Tunde

I found out she was dating me and juggling a few other people while accusing me of cheating. The discovery made me decide to sleep with the girls she had accused me of flirting with. By the time I had slept with 4 out of the 6 women she accused me of flirting with, I realized I had done enough. She found about it from her friends, and although she was married already, the news still got her very upset. Her anger left like a shot of adrenaline in my soul. I do not think my reaction to the breakup was extremely dramatic.

Ella

I met a guy named John on Facebook in 2016, but I was dating someone at the time. John and I didn’t get to meet ourselves that that year because he was in the east and I was living in Lagos. We still had not met when we started dating in May 2017. I had fallen so in love with him and I was sure he was in love with me too because I was already dreaming of spending forever with him.

In 2017, I applied to uni, but I didn’t get in. John got me a form to attend the university he was and I got in. My admission finally came through in 2018 and I could finally meet him to being our love story. The love story wasn’t as blissful as I expected because just 3months after I got into the University we were already broken up.

I was so shattered. We already had sex and I still held on to the fact that he was my first sexual partner. I was sure I was going to spend forever with him. The madness and obsession started after we broke up. I felt shattered and broken because of how much I tried – I could not imagine not being with him.

The first step was stalking him all over social media looking for ways to get to him. We chatted a few times, but that wasn’t enough for me. I knew what I was doing to myself wasn’t healthy and I needed to move on so I started seeing other people, but I was still miserable. The stalking went on for a little over a year before I stopped.

I eventually met another guy on Facebook who looked a lot like him. We started talking and we eventually got together. I did all of this to make my ex-boyfriend jealous and I guess it worked because my ex tried getting back with me. He didn’t have good reasons for wanting to come back, he just wanted to have sex with me.
Joining loving and functioning relationships takes the burden off you to build one by yourself. Here are a few ways to consensually join other people’s loving and functioning relationships.

1. Become besties with one of them.

Emphasis on besties and nothing more. The aim of becoming besties with one of them is so your name can come up in conversations a lot of times. That way, your name gets stuck in the consciousness of the other partner. Step 1 – done and dusted.

2. Make a playlist for your bestie.

Make sure your playlist taps enough for them to share it with their partner (your future second lover). Music apps always come through when making a playlist, all you need to do is start with one solid song.

3. Buy some food for the male lover.

Everyone knows that Nigerian men love food more than anything else in this life. Make sure you buy the food for him. Do not cook for any grown man so he won’t expect you to do the same when you eventually join their relationship.

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4. Never come off too strong.

You are trying to consensually join their relationship not appear like a desperado. Enjoy being friends with them, take it as the talking stage. Do not do more than yourself.

5. Go to a fortuneteller’s place.

Yes, fortune-teller, not babalawo. We are recommending a fortune-teller and not a babalawo so you won’t get carried away and ask the babalawo for jazz. Whatever the fortune teller says is what you should listen to.

6. Pray about it.

You can pray to whatever god you believe in. Making space for yourself in other people’s relationships require forces more than yourself. The only time joining other’s people’s relationships doesn’t require work is when a Nigerian man adds you to his marriage without letting his wife know.

7. Tell them that you want to be part of their relationship.

Summon courage and audacity from 20 Nigerian men, that should be enough to help you through this stage. Let them know the advantage of you joining their relationship. You guys won’t be the first throuple and won’t be the last either.

Please note: If you take our advice, whatever your eyes see, just take it like that. Let it not be like we didn’t warn you.

1. Kangol caps.

2. Khaki shorts.

3. This pair of sandals or something similar.

4. Branded tee-shirt from religious or political events.

5. Birth certificates of his other children you don’t know about.

6. Belts.

7. The Fedora hat.

8. Half shoes.

Kim, 26

Sarah, 20

Racheal, 25

Nora, 23

Kike, 18

Tosin, 25

Toun, 20

Habibah, 25

Jumoke, 25

Sade

Chidera, 25

Seye, 21

Dora, 22

Nara, 24

Ebi, 20

1. Always needing a tweezer.

2. The weight gain.

3. Getting told to lose weight.

4. Trying out different supplements and hormone treatments.

5. Dealing with fatigue from nowhere.

6. Having to deal with different bouts of sadness.

7. Trying out different meal plans and diets.

1. Pray for yourself

2. Close your laptop

3. Switch the tv off

4. Wash your eyes

5. Read your Bible or Quran

6. Sleep

Ingredients

Cooking instructions

Jojo

Femi

Tunde

Ella

1. Become besties with one of them.

2. Make a playlist for your bestie.

3. Buy some food for the male lover.

4. Never come off too strong.

5. Go to a fortuneteller’s place.

6. Pray about it.

7. Tell them that you want to be part of their relationship.