Honestly this year, it almost feels like I opened and closed my eyes and all of a sudden, we were in December.But well, they do say time flies by when you’re having fun.And there’s a long list of things that have been super fun and entertaining this year:
Some are downright unbelievable
Hi, my name is Diablo and I swallowed 36 million naira in the Jamb Office.
Some, unexpected
I fell pregnant.
Some, simply hilarious
There was no caught and so I am not a gay.
Some, a little disappointing
But we’re still so proud of our Super Eagles!
And for some, we just couldn’t find what to feel
A whole president!
We’re saying adios to 2018 soon but not without bringing you a list of some of the things that made 2018, 2018. Relax, it’s going to be a long ride.
1. Big Brother Naija
Let’s start at the top of the list. BBN started in January and refused to stop for the rest of the year.Where do we even want to start recounting the whole thing from? Is it Cee C’s annoying attitude to everyone.Or Nina not been able to decide who to please between Bob Risky and Toyin Lawani.
Or Tobi’s leaked nude picture with Alex.
The whole thing was just crazy because there was always some gossip spilling, and who doesn’t like gossip?
2. Black Panther
Wakanda forever!
This movie made a lot of noise and understandably so because Black Panther is the first superhero of African descent in mainstream American comics. The wakanda salute was pretty much all everyone could do for months.You can trust Africans to own this moment. Everyone undoubtedly became prouder of their African-ness during this period. My favorite part of the whole thing was the dance challenge that came with it.
Omunye! This video never gets old.
But we all knew it was time to move on when Chadwick Boseman who played the role of T’Challa in the movie got tired of doing the Wakanda salute.
Wakan’t do this forever.
3. Chioma Assurance
So not only did Davido buy his babe, Chioma, a 45 million naira Porsche as a birthday gift/collateral for assurance, he also sang a song to confirm he wasn’t joking. This might have been an innocent move but he actually put 3 sets of people in trouble. The first set is the slay queens that dumped their current boyfriends and went to do a makeover so they could find a new boyfriend to give them assurance.
But they will later come to regret their decisions.
The second set is all of Davido’s baby mamas that had already assured everyone that they were getting back with him very soon. And now, all their village people are laughing at them.
Aa ti get e
The third set is all the guys that lost their girlfriends to sugar daddies that could give them assurance. Now, all they can do is drop hateful comments on Davido’s posts for putting them in a ‘single’ position.If you didn’t find your assurance like Chioma did this year, don’t worry. Have faith and try again next year.
4. The Royal Wedding
The whole world sure paused for this. It might have been just a day but it had most Nigerians rethinking their whole existence. I won’t even be surprised if some people went to google “How to Become A Part of The Royal Family”.
Dream big but not too big.
This wedding was so beautiful and for a lot of people, it was empowering because it showed that you don’t have to have a perfect past to find true love. Meghan had gone through a trying marriage and a divorce and still found love in a Prince.
5. The ‘In My Feelings’ Challenge
Trap Money Benny…
There were various types of people in this season. There were those who went to beg to borrow a car just so they could do the dance the same way everyone else was doing it.There were those that did it and thought they’ll blow from there.
Sorry, but the universe had other plans.
There were those that tagged Drake like no tomorrow but still did not show in the official music video.And most of all, there were those that searched the hashtag every day just to sit behind their phone screen and judge others.
You, can you do half of what they’re doing?
All in all, this period was really interesting. Like Drake said, ‘’the whole world did the dance and they wouldn’t stop”. Well that’s because it kept us entertained Drake, thanks to you.
6. Zanku Legwork
Come and see what Zlatan Ibile caused oo. This move is just tap dance that went to CMS Grammar School.But still, everyone seems to be obsessed. I can actually sit back and watch someone do this dance all day; that is, someone that knows how to do the dance. I’ve seen way too many people embarrass themselves on top this dance biko.
It’s not by force to dance naa…sometimes, watch
I also love that Zanku and Able God is like garri and groundnut. Unbeatable combo!Can I hear someone say “no more insufficient funds”
7. Mr. Spellz
So this man, who is now popularly known as Mr. Spellz, was asked to spell Buhari and his response was so hilarious that Paul Clever Lee made a jam out of it and we’re not going anywhere till we sing it. Buhari!
Buhari buru B-O ehen? E-O ehen? Enu-I ehen?
N-R ehen? R-I ehen? N-U ehen?
E-O ehen? N-I ehen? N-R ehen?
R-I ehen? N-U ehen? E-O! Eeeh!
This endless spelling of Buhari’s name is actually a perfect description of how long we’ve been waiting for the promised change in Buhari’s administration.
Mr. Spellz must have gotten inspiration from above.
8. S.T.E.W
Starboy and Tiwa Everywhere!
There was just stew everywhere in November. So much so that we didn’t know what to do with it. If you knew right from the start that this whole Fever was just a publicity stunt, please raise your hands.
We are the smart ones.
And that’s how there was probably nothing going on between this two but we still allowed the conversations to take our time and brain space.Fever became the most searched song on Google in Nigeria and we all had stew without rice for a long time. So Wizkid, I guess you won.Are there any other things you think happened this year that made it memorable? Let us know in the comment section.
We would like to remember those who passed away in the tanker explosion on Otedola bridge earlier this year. May their souls rest in perfect peace.
From social media to pop music to technology, today’s world is more exciting than it has ever been. Yet, I cannot deny that there are things in history that I wish I could have been there to experience.
So I decided I’d take you on a mental trip to some of the events that have happened in Nigerian history that I would have loved to witness especially because of what this generation’s reactions would have been like.
1. Samuel Ajayi Crowther Translating The Bible To Yoruba
First of all, thank you so much sir because if you didn’t, who would have?If I could go back to this moment, I would ask for major motivation tips because this had to be a hell of a lotta work. And maybe I’d be able to help a little even though God knows I speak Yoruba with a German accent.
2. Funmilayo Kuti Driving A Car
Fela’s mom was a badass! Not only did she advocate for female rights, she was also the first woman to drive a car in Nigeria. My question is, was she nervous? Back then, women were generally meant to be more domestic. Even these days when driving, I’ve noticed that if I do something wrong on the highway, comments will roll in like “Haa na woman, no wonder” as though, my womanhood explains why I made that mistake.
So Kudos, Miss Funmilayo. If I could somehow appear in this moment, I’d sure take that ride with you.
3. The First National Elections
Take me back to 1923! This was certainly the cornerstone of today’s democracy! Can we just take a moment to say thank you to whoever made this happen.One reason why I’d love to go back here is because it would feel liberating to finally be able to decide who rules the country and also have some sense of “My opinion matters”. I imagine that’s what our ancestors felt too.
4. The Creation of The First Confraternity
Pyrates fraternity was the first confraternity in Nigeria and it was created by a group of 7 boys including Wole Soyinka. For a second, let’s just imagine I could go back to this moment as a boy…And before you ask, why would you want to join a cult? Just know, a fraternity is not a cult.A confraternity is a brotherhood especially with a religious or charitable purpose. It exists in many colleges and it’s a completely normal culture. A lot of people are however ignorant of this fact and so always relate the word “cultism” with “fraternity”.Fraternism is neither satanic nor wrong.
Now you know.
5. Nigeria’s Decolonization and Independence
I can even feel the spirit of celebration all the way here.
Sing with me: “On 1st October 1960, Nigeria got independence (2x)oh freedom, oh freedom, oh freedom,freedom everywheeeerreee;oh freedom, oh freedom, oh freedom,freedom everywheeeerreee.”Now that we’re done, can we just bask in an imagination of how interesting it would have been to chase those oyinbos away. We wonder why our ancestors never did an “America-must-go” bag.This moment must have been epic and I would love to go back just to feel like I’m a part of something new and to feel the joy that every Nigerian must have felt that day. The memes and jokes that we would have all made out of this if we were there though.
6. Nigeria’s First Republic
How epic would this have been to witness? It must have felt so surreal and victorious.Who wants to bet Speed Darlington would have made a hit in excitement?I’d like to go back to this period because hey, it would be sweet just to say: “Sho mo age mi ni? Where were you when we were making the first republic?”
7. The Establishment of Kalakuta Republic
Because the idea of any kingdom separate from Nigeria is good with me. And also, I’d snag any opportunity to meet the famous Anikulapo Kuti. He spoke the message of liberation to a country that was held down by colonial mentality and given more time, I can only imagine how much he’d have done. Wherever he is, he probably shakes his head everytime he looks down at Nigeria.
All the best fun gbogbo yin o.
8. The Introduction of NYSC
We should have been there for this because clearly, our parents’ generation did not know how to fight.I mean, why are we spending one year after school to collect one 240k that disappears within the blink of an eye? I don’t know about you, but I’d rather spend that time trying to get my life together and start my career. Or maybe go on a vacation sef.To think Uncle Bayo Adedeji that even created NYSC in the first place left us just this April to deal with it all by ourselves.
RIP Sir but we’re angry.
9. Folake Solanke Becoming The First SAN
Where my feminists at!!! If we had Twitter in 1981, this would have been quite the buzz. My heart beckons for this moment because I would have loved to give her a hug and just say: “thank you ma for showing us it can be done”. Folake issa wonder woman.Maybe one day we would have a female president too.
Have faith okay? We can do it.
10. The Invention of Jollof Rice
Just the curiousity of how luscious, succulent and mouthwatering the first spoon of jollof rice ever would have tasted like is enough to make me want to go back.Now, you might want to argue that jollof rice did not originate from Nigeria. Yes I agree. This is not a battle of the jollofs. Jollof rice actually originates from a Senegambian region ruled by the Jolof Empire and has now spread to many West African regions. I believe that each region has its own smoky and unique taste so las las, Nigeria’s jollof is different from all other jollofs and it had its own first make too.
Argue with your keyboard.
Well, I’m certain that there are so many other interesting things that have happened in the past that no one wrote about or knows about. That’s a story for when we meet in heavenIn the meantime, if you know a time traveller somewhere, please tell us in the comment section so that we can all go back together.Are there any events that you would like to go back and witness?
As students, we can hardly spare a second to think about politics because we’re so busy trying to breath life into our CGPA. Literally
But still, we are very aware of the fact that every tenure, leaders breeze by without giving us what we need the most: development. I mean, look around you, we’re definitely in the same place our ancestors left us, if not worse. Okay worse for sure, because have you seen the dollar rate lately?!
Well, we all know the 2019 general elections are coming up pretty soon and if you’re like me, you’re starting to care less and less. Yes it’s a sensitive moment for the future of our nation but it seems quite like every candidate sounds promising right before we elect them into office and it’s time to fulfill those promises.
As a final year student, this is the first time I’m actually old enough to vote in the presidential elections and now, I realize my age wasn’t at all the major barrier. It’s more the difficulty in getting a PVC or knowing who to vote for or even wondering if my vote counts.
All these issues shouldn’t be issues; we should have been equipped for this way back when we were four years away from 18 or 19 or 20. So I decided to conduct a survey because I want to know what people my age are feeling too. I can’t be alone. And you’re not alone either. My goal is to get 1000 of us to fill this form so I can publish the responses in a poll and maybe, just maybe, we can awaken the right and influential minds into seeing and understanding how we feel about Nigeria and its elections.
To participate in the survey, click here. By clicking, you actually stand a chance to win some cash. Really.
Now that ASUU has declared an indefinite nationwide strike, there have been different reactions to the breaking news.
We have those that are happy to go back home
Knock knock, who’s home?!
We have those that are wondering if they’ll ever graduate
Abi is it my fault I was born in this country
We have those that are already thinking about all the food at home
Sweet jollof rice loading
We have the bookworms that will immediately start reading ahead
We wanna be like you when we grow up
We have those that don’t understand what’s going on
But why are we striking all this strike sef
We have those that don’t want to go back home because of chores
But I dinnoh send this people naa
We have those that are already packing for vacation
I can’t come and go and die
And finally, we have those private university students who can’t relate
This isn’t rich people problems
Well, whether or not you fall into any of these categories, we’ve come up with a list of things that you can do during the strike:
1. You can start travel blogging
A good way to follow in our president’s footsteps
2. You can join the World Tweeting Association (WTA) full-time
You just might blow and start your online career
3. You can find a job. Alaaye double your hustle
You’ve gotta werk werk werk
4. You can download all the movies and tv series in this world
Kuku rest and get fat before school starts
5. You can open a YouTube channel
My name is Tola and you’re welcome to my youtube channel
6. You can learn that skill you’ve been wanting to learn for a long time.
Because Oyinbo say: there is a start to education but there is no end.
We hope this list has inspired you to put this break period to good use.
