1. ‘Put on the Generator’ 100-yard dash.

During champions league finals, I dey run pass Usain Bolt.

2. ‘Dispenser bottle’ deadlift

If you win at this, the next level is a bag of rice.

3. ‘Monkey post’ soccer.

Mourinho should sign me, let me do one-two touch with Zlatan.

4. ‘Dodging a beating’ gymnastics

When the cane comes out, next thing its maaaatriiixxx….

5. ‘Killing mosquito’ karate.

Just let mosquito show first, you’ll see original Bruce Lee.

6. ‘Spinning textbooks’ rhythmic gymnastics.

Just give me Ugo. C. Ugo, or New General Mathematics and gold medal sure pass.

7. Table Tennis

No joke here. Pass egg and bat make I smash your life.

8. ‘Towel whip’ fencing.

My school father would dip the end in water so it’ll be extra painful. He’ll make Nigeria proud.