Quizzes

Stacks

Shows

Podcasts

Newsletters

Naira Life

Love Life

Hustleprint

Love Currency

Sunken Ships

What She Said

My Bro

So You Don’t Have To

Interview With…

Zikoko Memes

Jollof Road

Cholera Outbreak Update

Follow our socials

  • Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.

    What’s your earliest memory of each other?

    Derin: I met him when he moved into my hostel during NYSC in 2016. I can’t remember why I was outside —  it was a private hostel, and most people kept to themselves —  but I saw him arrive with his parents. Something about the way his mum fussed over him made me smile, and I offered to help them move his things to his room.

    Hassan: That day was awkward for me. I’d just recovered from an illness, and my parents insisted on coming with me to Osogbo. I felt like a kid being dropped off at school, and then Derin showed up to help. It was a nice gesture, but I couldn’t help thinking she only did it because my mum was there.

    Derin: I felt obligated to help after learning he’d been sick; his mum mentioned it while thanking me. I was also happy to answer her questions about the hostel. But beyond that, I didn’t think much of it.

    Hassan: She came by later that evening and again two days later to check on me. I remember thinking, “She’s doing this because of my mum, not me.”

    Why?

    Hassan: I don’t think she’d have had any interaction with me if my parents weren’t there when I arrived. Plus, I’m sure my mum must have said something around the lines of helping her check on me. She’s extra like that. 

    I see. So, what happened next?

    Hassan: On Valentine’s Day in 2016, the hostel management organised a movie night in the common area, and a friend convinced me to attend. I was just trying to pass the time, but I ended up sitting next to Derin. We talked a lot that night about movies, random hostel gossip, and life. That was the first time I saw her playful side.

    Derin: I remember that night. Hassan knew how to make snarky comments about movies without sounding annoying. I found myself laughing at almost everything he said, and I realised he wasn’t as serious as he seemed.

    Hassan: After that, I started knocking on her door more often; to borrow something or to just talk. I noticed she had a very calming presence.

    Derin: I enjoyed the company, but I kept my guard up. I wasn’t interested in making close friends, let alone dating.

    Why weren’t you interested in dating, Derin?

    Derin: I come from a royal family, and there are lots of traditional expectations placed on women like me. I grew up knowing that relationships would be scrutinised, which scared me. I didn’t want to bring anyone into my family drama or make promises I couldn’t keep.

    Hassan: She didn’t tell me any of this. I just thought she was being cautious, which I respected. 

    So, when did you learn about her family situation?

    Hassan:  About six months into our friendship. We were having one of our deep, late-night conversations, and she casually mentioned it, almost like it wasn’t a big deal. I stopped mid-sentence and said, “Wait, what? You’re from a royal family?” 

    She just nodded like it was the most normal thing in the world.

    Derin: I held off that long because I didn’t want it to change how he saw me. From my previous experiences, people either got intimidated or started treating me differently when they found out. I didn’t want that with Hassan.

    Hassan: I was shocked, but the revelation explained why she was reserved and always had mysterious family obligations. Sometimes, she would be away for a week because of a masquerade event, and she also went for incisions every three months. At first, I thought it wasn’t a big deal.  How complicated could it be? But when she started breaking down all the traditions and expectations, I realised this was another level of responsibility.

    [ad]

    How did you feel about it, Hassan?

    Hassan: It scared me, I won’t lie. I questioned if I was ready to deal with all that came with being involved with someone from a royal family. But at the same time, I didn’t see myself walking away from her. She meant too much to me already.

    Derin: That’s one thing I’ll always admire about Hassan. Even though I warned him about how complicated things could get, he didn’t run. He stayed and made an effort to understand. That meant a lot to me.

    Sweet. Was this when things became official between you two?

    Derin: Not really. We didn’t get together until we completed NYSC in 2017. Hassan had been dropping hints about wanting something serious, but I kept deflecting because of how complicated things could get. Plus, we were at a crossroads. He was heading to Lagos for work, and I planned to stay in Osogbo to help with my family’s affairs.

    Hassan: I didn’t want to pressure her, but I also didn’t want to leave things in the air before I moved to Lagos. We’d grown close, and I didn’t want to risk losing that. So, one night, a week before I left Osogbo, I told her how I felt and asked if she’d give us a chance.

    Derin: I was hesitant at first. I thought about my family’s expectations and how distance could complicate things further. But deep down, I knew I cared about him. I didn’t want to look back and regret not giving it a shot. So, I said yes.

    To be his girlfriend?

    Derin: Well, yes. Although it didn’t take long for that to change to the “wife”. We got married in 2018.

    Hassan: The scariest year of our relationship. 

    What do you mean?

    Hassan: My parents had always been supportive of our relationship. They liked Derin and thought she was kind and respectful, especially when I reminded them about their interaction in 2016. But when I started sharing details about her family’s traditions, they became skeptical about the prospect of merging our families. My parents are both practising Muslims, and they had a lot to say about my connection with someone whose family has different values. They argued it’ll mean a lot of involvement in fetish practices. Their concerns were valid. 

    Did they try to stop the union?

    Hassan: My mum did. She’d pull me aside several times during the wedding planning and say, “Marriage is already hard without adding extra stress. Are you sure this is what you want?”

    I stood my ground, though. I told my mum that Derin was the one.

    Derin: I was aware of their concerns, but I didn’t take it personally. I understood where they were coming from. Plus, my parents also had their reservations about marrying someone who was strange to our ways, but they didn’t make a fuss for some reason. My mum confided in me years later that they didn’t try to stop our plans because they were sure Hassan’s parents would make him pull out.  They would have been right if this guy didn’t have coconut head.

    I can imagine. What was your marriage ceremony like?

    Derin: It was intense. There were so many steps — bride price negotiations, traditional blessings, and ceremonies that lasted for days. I warned Hassan it would be overwhelming, but I don’t think he fully grasped the extent until he was in the middle of it.

    Hassan: It felt like a marathon. At one point, I thought, “What if I mess this up and offend someone?” There were so many elders involved, and the pressure was out of this world. I’ve never been happier for a day to be over. 

    Can you talk about the early days of your marriage?

    Derin: Sure. They were a mix of relief and adjustment. After all the ceremonies and traditional rites, we were happy to finally have some quiet and start building our life together. But it wasn’t all smooth sailing. Living together as husband and wife brought its own set of challenges.

    Hassan: We were learning how to coexist while balancing the expectations that came with Derin’s royal background. It was a lot to take in.

    What sort of challenges did you encounter?

    Derin: We both underestimated how much the traditional expectations would follow us into the marriage. It wasn’t just about adjusting to each other’s habits; we also had to deal with my family members popping in unannounced or elders calling for random consultations.

    Hassan: While I’d made peace with all the traditional stuff during the wedding, I didn’t realise it wouldn’t end there. It led to huge disagreements between us. 

    I was coming to that. Do you remember your first major fight?

    Hassan: Absolutely. It started when Derin’s parents said our baby had to go through certain rites in her hometown. They expected her to leave with the baby for two whole weeks —  a baby that was barely one month old. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. 

    We’d just become parents, and they wanted to take them away from me. I wasn’t going to let it happen. It caused a lot of tension between us and her family. I even started having weird dreams.

    Weird dreams?

    Hassan: Yes. Strange looking people, sometimes masquerades from her town, chasing me with canes. One time, I woke up drenched in sweat because I thought they’d caught me. It was terrifying.

    Wild. How did you feel about this, Derin?

    Derin: I tried to explain that the rite was a tradition my family had followed for generations. It was about honouring something that’s deeply rooted in where I come from. But he didn’t understand. And It wasn’t just about him saying no, it was how he said it. It felt like he didn’t trust me or my family.

    Were you aware of the dreams?

    Derin: He didn’t tell me. I noticed he woke up in the middle of the night a few times, but I didn’t think much about it. Even then, I felt terrible about the whole thing. On one hand, I wanted to support Hassan and reassure him, but on the other hand, I couldn’t go against my family. I grew up with these traditions, so they weren’t strange, but I knew it was a lot for him to deal with.

    Hassan: The dreams only stopped after I finally allowed them to go. But that experience changed something. It triggered an extreme level of fear. I started to feel like there were consequences for every decision I made, especially if it went against her family’s traditions.

    Did you ever confide in your parents about what was happening, Hassan?

    Hassan: I didn’t, which I regret. My parents had already expressed concerns about my marriage to Derin before the wedding. They thought the traditional demands might become overwhelming, and I didn’t want to confirm their fears by telling them what was happening.

    How did you both move past that episode? Did it help you navigate future differences?

    Hassan: It wasn’t easy. Even after Derin and the baby came back, there was an unspoken tension between us. I think, for a while, I was just going through the motions—being present as a husband and father but holding onto that fear and resentment.

    Derin: I didn’t know how to bridge the gap. I kept thinking, “Was it the right decision to go? Did I choose my family over my marriage?” It was a lot to process, but talking about it really helped us.

    Hassan: The conversations didn’t happen immediately. It took a few months, but we ultimately had a proper sit-down. I told her how I felt, the dreams, the fear of losing her and the baby to something I didn’t understand.

    Derin: During that, I realised how much pressure my family put on him. It wasn’t just about the rites; it was about him feeling like he had no control over his own family. But then we agreed I was going to make an effort to meet him halfway.

    How did you plan to do this, Derin?

    Derin: I started being more proactive in explaining things to him over just expecting him to go along with it. Whenever something traditional comes up now, we discuss it first, and if he’s uncomfortable, we try to find a compromise.

    Hassan: It’s a much better arrangement than what we had before. Although, I’ll say one thing the experience taught us was how to communicate even when it’s uncomfortable.

    Derin: And it showed me that marriage isn’t just about love. It’s about finding ways to navigate the things that could tear you apart.

    Awesome. What would you say is the best thing about being with each other? 

    Hassan: Her kindness. Derin is one of the most selfless people I’ve ever met. She puts others before herself, even when it’s not convenient for her. Whether it’s helping out a friend in need or going out of her way to make me feel loved, she has a unique way of making people feel seen and cared for. It’s something I deeply admire about her and one of the reasons I fell in love with her.

    Derin: His patience. Hassan has stood by me through so much, dealing with the complexities of our marriage, and understanding who I am as a person. He’s never rushed me or made me feel like a burden. Instead, he’s given me space to grow and has supported me every step of the way. I’ll always be grateful for his ability to stay calm and grounded, even when things get tough. It’s a quality that’s made our relationship so much stronger.

    I’m curious, Hassan. Does her kindness make it feel like she prioritises others over your family?

    Hassan: Sometimes, yes. Her kindness can stretch her thin, and it feels like she’s prioritising others over us. But I know it’s not intentional; it’s just who she is. We’ve talked about finding balance, and she’s been working on setting boundaries. It’s a work in progress, but I wouldn’t trade her selflessness for anything.

    On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your love life?

    Hassan: I’d say an 8. There’s room for improvement, but we’re happy.

    Derin: It’s also an 8 for me. Our journey isn’t perfect, but it’s ours.

    If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this form.

  • When it comes to sex, there are two types of people: the ones who keep it vanilla and the ones who want to throw themselves into the wildest, most daring fantasies imaginable. We spoke to 10 Nigerians who belong to the latter category, and their sex bucket lists will have you clutching your pearls or taking notes.

    Bayo*, 28

    Every time I watch movies where people sneak off to have sex on a train, I get jealous. It’s so risky but also exciting. Sadly, Nigeria isn’t big on trains, so I’m still holding out for a holiday in Europe to tick this one off my list.

    Carol*, 25

    Don’t judge me, but I’ve always had a thing for authority figures. I want to dress up as a naughty student and have my man ‘discipline’ me in his office. Bonus points if we’re in a school-like setting. Someone please rent me a classroom.

    Dayo*, 30

    Blame all the horror movies I’ve watched, but I want to have sex in a haunted house just for the thrill. Something about being surrounded by creepy vibes and thinking a ghost might be watching? Weirdly hot.

    Rukayat*, 27

    I’m not even a fan of flying, but I’ve always wanted to have sex in a plane bathroom. The space is tiny, but the adrenaline rush would be worth it. The only problem? I’d need a private jet because Nigerian planes are too cramped for that type of risky life.

    Tochi*, 33

    I really want to experience a public orgy. I want to be in a room full of consenting adults doing whatever they want. Something about the chaos of it is appealing. I blame all those Hollywood movies I’ve been watching for introducing me to a vibe I might never experience. But, fingers crossed.

     [ad]

    Gloria*, 29

    I’m obsessed with thunderstorms, so I think having sex under one would be so exhilarating. Imagine the rain pouring down, the thunder rumbling, and the sky lighting up with lightning while you’re going at it. I need a rooftop that’s private enough. I also need to get my money up to afford one such home in Ikoyi.

    Chike*, 26

    I know people talk about car sex, but I think it’s overrated. See, there’s something oddly sexy about Lagos Danfos. I want to have sex in one while it’s parked in a quiet spot. And I mean real sex, not the ‘we’re almost there’ kind of sex people have in regular cars. I’ve had a mini session with a stranger on a bus ride once, but I want to do the real stuff.

    Teni*, 24

    It’s not enough to shake my ass on a yacht in Dubai. I also want to be in the middle of the ocean on a luxury yacht, completely alone with my partner, and go crazy. There’s something about being surrounded by water and knowing there’s no one else for miles that’s so freeing. It almost happened once, but we chickened out for some reason, which I don’t remember.

    Femi*, 32

    A 24-hour sex marathon won’t be bad. Imagine dedicating a whole day to nothing but sex—no phones, no distractions, just vibes and orgasms. Of course, I’d have to take breaks to eat and rehydrate, but it’s been on my bucket list for years.

    Nneka*, 28

    This might be the riskiest thing on my list, but I want to have sex in a hot air balloon while it’s floating in the air. I don’t know how it’s possible without falling off, but I’m determined to figure it out. The closest experience I’ve had to this was a quickie on the balcony of a skyscraper.

    READ THIS NEXT: Zikoko’s Guide to Ending an Awkward Valentine’s Day Date

  • The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.

    How long have you been with your partner?

    November 2024 made it exactly five years that Bolaji and I have been married. 

    How did you meet your husband?

    I’ve always known Bolaji. We grew up in the same neighbourhood in Sagamu. We weren’t really friends, though; I just saw him around, and we casually greeted each other. I stopped running into him after he left for uni because he schooled in Lagos, and I attended a polytechnic in Ogun state.  

    In 2019, Bolaji lost his grandmother, and he and the rest of his family returned to Sagamu for the burial. I attended the burial too, and Bolaji and I started talking. He stayed in town for about a week, and I kept him company. We got really close during that period. I even visited him in Lagos after he went back. 

    Almost every weekend, I was in Bolaji’s house. I found out I was pregnant two months after we reconnected.

    Oh. How did you both feel about that?

    It was definitely unexpected. I think Bolaji even had a main girlfriend — I saw his chat history with the girl months later — but he wasn’t upset when I told him about the pregnancy. 

    I was nervous, but I wasn’t scared. Children are a blessing, and although my only income was ₦15k, which I made from teaching, I was ready to provide for my child whether Bolaji accepted the baby or not. Thankfully, he didn’t deny responsibility.

    We told our parents, and they suggested we get married. We weren’t forced to marry, though. Bolaji and I liked each other and would’ve gotten married regardless. The pregnancy just sped things up. It also helped that our parents knew each other and were friends, so it was a smooth decision. Five months later, we had a court wedding and a traditional ceremony. Our parents took care of most of the wedding expenses.

    What were you and Bolaji’s financial situation like?

    Bolaji worked for a health maintenance organisation and made ₦120k/month. After we married, I moved to Lagos to join him, so I quit my job at the school.

    Things were hard for us in the first few years. I thought I’d get a job in Lagos to support the home after our child came. But COVID happened, and there were no jobs. Even Bolaji’s salary was cut to ₦70k for six months due to the lockdown. On some days, we’d soak garri for dinner. Imagine soaking garri as a breastfeeding mum. I also often had to ask my dad for urgent ₦2k. It was tough.

    How did the state of your finances impact your relationship?

    Interestingly, money wasn’t the main subject of our fights. Our arguments were about our personality differences. We didn’t really know each other before marriage, so it took a while to get used to each other’s ways of doing things. He had weird habits like not brushing all day if he was at home and turning off all the lights, even if someone was in the room. It was annoying, and we argued a lot.

    When we argued about money, it was because I asked him for it. I only asked for money when our child needed something, but it almost always led to an issue. Most times, Bolaji would lose his temper and accuse me of not being understanding. Once, I took our child and angrily left the house when Bolaji implied that I had brought him bad luck. 

    Hmmm

    Our relationship was rocky for most of 2021 and 2022. To be honest, I often wished I never even married him. Maybe I’d been in too much of a hurry, and I didn’t think through what marriage meant. 

    To make matters worse, I got pregnant again in 2021. I didn’t tell Bolaji till I was six months gone because I worried he’d ask me to abort the baby. When I eventually told him, he just shook his head and said, “congratulations.”

    Thankfully, things got better towards the end of 2022. Bolaji got a job that paid ₦300k/month, and he opened a salon for me. I learnt hairdressing in school, so the salon helped with extra income. By that, I mean I had extra cash to spend besides the ₦80k/month Bolaji gave me for the house. He didn’t worry himself with how much I made from my salon. Anything I bought with my money was my own decision. 

    That’s one of Bolaji’s good sides. He takes providing for his family seriously, and he believes it’s his responsibility to handle everything. He’s also very transparent with how much money he has. It’s why I understand why he can no longer provide as much since he relocated to the UK.

    Why and when did he relocate to the UK?

    He’s always wanted to japa. Bolaji has cousins in the UK, and we knew japa could happen one day. He’d actually applied to visit years before, but his visa wasn’t approved. In 2023, his cousin advised him to apply via the study route, so he did that and got admission. He also got a partial scholarship. We sold our fridge and washing machine and gathered money from our family to cover the rest of the tuition and flight costs. 

    Bolaji is currently studying for a postgraduate degree in the UK. He left in August 2024, and we hope he can transition to working in the UK when he’s done. Then, we can consider having me and the kids join him. 

    He’s just trying to survive right now. He only started sending us £30 monthly in November. That’s about ₦60k, which is really small, but I understand that he has to sort school and living expenses. I support our home with the little I make from hairdressing. I’m currently back in my dad’s house in Sagamu with my children — we moved after Bolaji left to cut out rent expenses — and business isn’t as profitable as it was in Lagos. I’m also back to relying on the goodness of my family for things like clothes and the occasional loans. But we’re surviving. 

    So, you’re navigating a long-distance marriage now. What’s that like?

    We keep in touch with video calls and texts, but it’s difficult. Bolaji is almost always busy, and the children also want to talk to him when he’s available. I sometimes feel like we never have time to talk alone, like lovers. 

    I’ve complained about this a few times, and he told me to be patient. Sometimes, he sends me sweet messages and tries to convince me that we won’t be apart for long. Last week, he sent his sister to surprise me with barbecued fish. He’s also promised to make time for us to have a long call on Valentine’s Day. So, the distance is hard, but Bolaji is trying his best to be there for me, which I’m grateful for. 

    That’s sweet. Do you both have a safety net for your future japa plans?

    We both have land given to us by our parents, so we’ll probably sell them when it’s time for me to meet him. We also hope he gets a care job soon—we heard it pays better—so he can start saving. 

    I can’t get a 9-5 job because of the children, so I’ve been trying to get a government job with the help of family members. A government job will give me time to make hair as a side hustle. My husband and I have already agreed that he’ll stop sending me money if I get the job. That way, he will have more savings, and we can fast-track my relocation.

    What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?

    I just want us to be able to afford to be together as a family again. I’d also like for us to be homeowners in the UK one day. 

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

    *Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

    NEXT READ: The Lagos Freelancer Teaching Her Boyfriend Financial Discipline

    [ad]

  • Valentine’s Day is meant to be all about love, good vibes, and a dose of “pepper dem” energy on social media. But sometimes, dates don’t go as planned. Instead of butterflies in your stomach, you’re calculating how long it’ll take to order an Uber and vanish.

    Whether it’s a bad vibe, a weird conversation, or their refusal to stop referring to you as “baby” on a first date, here’s a foolproof guide to escaping an awkward Valentine’s date.

    Fake an emergency

    This is the OG move. Suddenly clutch your chest and say, “Oh no! I forgot my gas is still on at home,” or, “My cousin just called—our granny swallowed paint!” Keep it vague enough to avoid follow-up questions. Bonus points if you pretend to answer a fake call and start shouting, “Calm down! I’m on my way!”

    Pretend you’re feeling unwell

    Start coughing lightly. Then escalate to a dramatic sneeze. Within minutes, clutch your stomach and groan about how something you ate on the date threatens to unalive you. Say you have to go home and rest. They’ll be too scared of potential food poisoning to stop you.

    Blame work or your boss

    “I just got a Slack notification from my boss.” Works every time, especially if you make it sound like you’re indispensable at work. Throw in phrases like “quarterly reports” and “client presentation” to make it more believable.

    Recruit your bestie as a rescue

    Before the date, set up a system with your bestie. A quick SOS text, and they’ll call you with a fake emergency. If they’re feeling extra dramatic, they can even show up at the date like, “Babe, it’s an emergency! Let’s go!”

    Tell them the truth (but nicely)

    If you’re feeling brave, be honest. Say, “I’m sorry, but I’m not feeling a spark.” It’s not the easiest option, but it’s better than ghosting. Plus, it saves you from accidentally running into them at the mall weeks later.

     [ad]

    Use the bathroom excuse

    The old “Excuse me, I need to use the bathroom” trick never fails. The trick is to leave your bag behind for believability. When you get to the bathroom, order an Uber and send a polite “I had to leave” text.

    Stage a scene

    This one is risky, but if all else fails, go for it. Say, “I’m so embarrassed! I need to go home.” Walk out and leave them to handle the bill.

    Bring up polarising topics

    If they’re dragging the date, speed things up by talking about something divisive like politics, football teams, or who the GOAT is: Burna, Wizkid, or Davido. Once the argument gets heated, you’ll both want to leave.

    Ghost them mid-date

    If you’ve tried everything and they’re still clinging to the date, pull the ultimate vanishing act. Excuse yourself for “just a minute” and walk out of their life forever. Block their number for maximum effect.

    READ THIS TOO: 10 Places to Be if You Don’t Want to Spend Valentine’s Alone

  • Every week, Zikoko seeks to understand how people move the Naira in and out of their lives. Some stories will be struggle-ish, others will be bougie. All the time, it’ll be revealing.

    #Nairalife 306 bio

    When did you first realise the importance of money?

    My dad suddenly fell ill when I was 8, and things changed at home. My mum started selling off our property and begging relatives for money to sort his treatment costs. My siblings and I also changed schools. 

    All we talked about was how to get money for my dad. It was my first wake-up call about what not having money could do.

    What do you remember about your family’s finances before your dad’s illness?

    We weren’t rich, but we were comfortable. My dad was a civil servant, and my mum didn’t need to work; my dad provided everything. 

    Then, the illness happened.

    Although my dad recovered in months, our family never did. The financial strain fractured my parents’ relationship, and they divorced three years later in 2013. My mum got custody of the children, and my dad remarried. 

    Our financial situation grew worse because my mum now had to provide for us. She moved us into a face-me-I-face-you apartment and supported us with petty trading. She often had to beg my school to let me write exams while owing school fees. 

    I only wrote WAEC because we begged my uncle for money. I didn’t write NECO because we couldn’t afford it. My mum told me plainly that she couldn’t sponsor me past secondary school. My elder sister was paying herself through uni, too. So, I had to look for money.

    What did you do?

    A week after my WAEC exams in 2018, I found work as a salesgirl at a bookstore for ₦15k/month. I worked every day from 7 a.m. to 6 p.m. and saved religiously. I didn’t spend money on myself.

    After a few months, I quit my job at the bookstore because my mum thought the work was stressful and the environment was unsafe. By the time I left, I’d saved ₦50k. My next job was as an attendant at a POS shop. This one paid ₦12k/month, but I often got tips from men.

    While working at the POS shop, I met my first boyfriend. I told him about my situation, and he helped me set up a POS business to save for school. He bought the POS machine and loaned me ₦500k to run the business. This was in 2019.

    How did running your own POS business go?

    It was really profitable. My stand was in the market, so I often got clients. Within eight months, I’d made a little over ₦500k in profit.

    In the same year, I got admitted to the university. There was no one to help me manage the POS business, so I decided to invest everything I’d made in forex. I met someone who claimed he could help me make up to 30% returns on my money in three months, and I thought it was a good idea. I reasoned that I could use part of the profit to pay my school fees and save the rest for other school expenses.

    My boyfriend had broken up with me at this time, but he didn’t collect the ₦500k loan back. So, I had about ₦1.1m. I gave all the money to the guy, and he ran away with it. I wasn’t the only victim; he’d also collected money from other people in the market. I hadn’t even paid my school fees.

    Damn. I’m so sorry

    I cried so much. I couldn’t even tell my mum. I attempted suicide, but I was too broke to afford sniper. I settled for otapiapia (a local insecticide), which caused serious abdominal pain. 

    If you are or you know struggling with depression or suicidal tendencies, here’s a list of mental health helplines and resources for professional help.

    My mum rushed me to the hospital, and I confessed what I did to the doctor. He told my mum, and she was there for me. It was a very depressing couple of weeks. But I still had to go to school, so I returned to the job market. 

    I found one as an office assistant for ₦30k/month. Two months into the job, I met my sugar daddy, and my life changed.

    How did you meet him?

    On my way to work. A car pulled up beside me, and the man inside asked me to get in. I did, then he did the whole “I like you and want to get to know you” thing. I knew what he wanted, but I was sceptical at first. I’d only had one boyfriend and didn’t think my next relationship should be with a much older man.

    I told him this much, but he said he wasn’t in a hurry and we could take our time. We exchanged contacts, and he gave me ₦50k cash. The next day, he upgraded my torchlight phone to an Android. After that, he asked me to quit my job and not worry about another because he’d take care of me and pay my school fees.

    He did all of this. He even paid for my flight when I was travelling to school; my first time on a plane. We weren’t even intimate yet. 

    Interesting

    While I was in school, we kept in touch over the phone. When COVID happened in 2020, and I was forced back home, he got me a job as his personal assistant. My salary was ₦70k/month, but he often gave me money as well.

    When school activities resumed in 2021, he gave me ₦1m to start a business. But I didn’t even have a business idea, so I gave my mum ₦700k.

    Did she ask where it came from?

    She did. I told her my boyfriend had given me some money, but most of it was my savings from the different jobs I’d done. She believed me, and she used the money to stock up her shop and move to a better apartment.

    Since then, my sugar daddy has given me a ₦100k monthly allowance, and I can call if I need more. 

    In 2022, he got me an iPhone and a laptop. I used the latter to find a remote social media manager job with a cosmetics brand. My employer paid me ₦50k/month to post content and respond to messages. 

    I didn’t need the money; I just wanted to be busy. I still work with the same brand, though my salary increased to ₦80k in 2024.

    So, right now, your monthly income includes your salary and allowance

    Plus a ₦850k monthly payout from a car investment I started in 2023. I’ll explain how this happened.

    Towards the end of 2023, my sugar daddy gave me ₦4m — he randomly gives me huge amounts like that. Also, I had ₦3m savings, which brought the total amount I had to ₦7m. 

    I used the money to enter a car investment scheme a friend had told me about. She’d bought a car from a transport company, and the company gave the car out to drivers in a hire-purchase agreement. The only difference is, she didn’t have to interface with the drivers. The company paid her monthly, and by the end of the year, she’d made almost ₦3m in profit.

    I was sceptical because of my past investment experience, but I researched and confirmed the opportunity was legit. I bought a Toyota Corolla for ₦7.5m, and the company gave me the ownership documents and started paying me ₦850k/month. This was calculated based on the 36% returns per annum rate. At the end of the one-year payment period, I made ₦10.2m. Then, they collected the ownership documents and transferred them to the new owner.

    I reinvested in 2024 and got another car. Actually, my sugar daddy paid for the car — I told him about the investment opportunity — so I diverted some of the returns from my first investment to buy a plot of land, which cost ₦2.2m.

    Now, I still get ₦850k/month from the car. Also, my monthly allowance is now ₦150k – ₦200k. Add that to my salary, and I make a little over ₦1m in most months.

    That’s wild. What are your financial responsibilities like?

    Not much. My sugar daddy pays my tuition and accommodation fees. I send money to my mum regularly — like, ₦200k every two months. She knows I work online, so I don’t have to explain my income.

    I spend a lot of money, though. My major vice is spending on clothes and wigs. I have so many of them and don’t even use them all. I also love going out on solo dates to try new food, treating my friends and buying them gifts. When I go shopping and see something a friend would like, I have to buy it. They also buy stuff for me.

    Also, I loan people money. Maybe too much for my liking. Someone can just walk up to me in class and beg for money because they haven’t completed their school fees, and I loan them. They often don’t pay back.  

    I’ve blocked so many people because trying to get my money back ended in fights.

    Why are people like this?

    It beats me. Last year, I loaned ₦400k to a schoolmate whose mum needed a life-saving surgery. I was touched because it was a familiar struggle. Wait, did I mention my dad died in 2018?

    I’m so sorry

    It’s okay. I felt sorry for the schoolmate and didn’t want her to go through all I did. Her dad even called me to beg. So, I gave them the money. But when I asked a few months later, the girl said I gave her dad the money, not her.

    I involved the police after some back and forth, and we agreed that her dad would pay ₦50k/month until they cleared the loan. But here’s the thing; the man paid once. The situation got so bad that the girl started sending me death threats. 

    Ah

    I just left the money for them. I have several ₦25k here, ₦15k there outside. This year, I’ve decided I won’t loan money to anyone. So far, I’ve been successful. I’m learning how to say “no” and I hope to continue. The only thing left is to figure out how to control my spending.

    Can you take me through what your spending looks like in a typical month?

    Nairalife #306 monthly expenses

    My “gift” budget doesn’t include loans. Sometimes I just pay for people in buses, or I buy gifts for my friends. It’s more than that ₦40k, but that’s a good average.

    Is there something you wish you could be better at financially?

    Definitely savings. I want to have a more structured approach to saving. Right now, it’s just the money I get back from my investments that I try to save. I currently have ₦10.2m in my savings account.

    How are you thinking about future plans post-school?

    I’ll probably get a Master’s degree. I believe it’ll be helpful in building a career and would be a plus to my professional journey. I’ll likely do that while pursuing a certificate course in either data analysis, project management or UI/UX design. I love the idea of widening my knowledge and just want to develop myself professionally as much as possible.

    Also, I plan to break up with my sugar daddy soon, so I’m trying to pay more attention to saving so I’ll have a healthy safety net.

    I’m curious. Is there a reason why you want to leave him?

    To be honest, I don’t like him. Our relationship dynamic is great because we hardly see each other and mostly chat. We’ve only had sex a handful of times. But he’s very jealous. He’s married, but he doesn’t want me to date anyone while with him. He even wants me to be a second wife, but I can’t do that. 

    I need to have a lover my own age. I’m catching feelings for someone I’m seeing on the low, so I’ll probably break up with my sugar daddy later this year.

    Have you considered how you might adjust to no longer receiving random money?

    Yes. I’ll definitely miss his generosity. In December, he gave me ₦500k to spend and on New Year’s Day, he sent another ₦200k with a “Happy new year, baby” narration. 

    I’ll miss him, and that’s why I’m trying to save. It won’t be easy to adjust, but I can make it work. My employer has also hinted at reviewing my salary to ₦100k next month. So, that’s good. 

    Also, the guy I’m seeing on the low seems generous. He’s given me a few gifts, so I may have nothing to worry about.

    Is there anything you want right now but can’t afford?

    Maybe a mini solo vacation to Dubai. I’ve never travelled out of Nigeria, so that’s on my bucket list. I expect I’ll need like ₦12m to make that happen. 

    How would you rate your financial happiness on a scale of 1 – 10?

    10. I don’t lack anything.

    If you’re interested in talking about your Naira Life story, this is a good place to start.

    Yes, I want to do a Naira Life!

    Find all the past Naira Life stories here.

    Subscribe to the newsletter here.

    [ad]

  • So, tell me where all of this started

    The tale kicked off in February 2024. I had a music performance at an event in Ibadan. After the show, it was too late for me to return to Lagos, but one of the event producers was kind enough to offer me a room at the hotel where he was staying.

    When I got there, the producers had a post-event meeting, but I was too tired to wait with them, so I went up to the room to sleep. It turns out I went into the wrong room, and I met a girl there.  Her name was Dunni, and we got talking. It was the easiest conversation I’d had in a long time. We talked until the producers came back up.

    Now, obviously, she was there to spend the night with someone else, so I had to leave the room for them, but I didn’t mind; I got her number anyway.

    Spicy.

    We talked every day for a hundred days. We agreed to keep it casual for the first three months to get to know each other, but we talked every single day. I’m a musician, so I’d sing to her sometimes, too. Those were easily the best days of my life; the emotional connection opened me up creatively.

    I’m not an emotional guy, but this girl had me writing love songs. I really loved her.

    [ad][/ad]

    So what happened after?

     As we neared the end of the hundred days, it was clear I was emotionally invested in this girl, and I thought she felt the same. I invited her over to my family’s house when my parents were out, and we spent some time talking and enjoying each other’s company. Then my dad came home a bit early and met her there. 

    Now it was obvious to him that something more was going on even though I introduced her as ‘just a friend’. He asked her questions about her life, her studies (she’s a nursing student) and her future plans. It wasn’t a marriage interview, my dad was just curious about her. I thought nothing of it, and I saw her off when she left.

    When she got home, she told me how panicky meeting my dad made her, but I assured her there was nothing to worry about. She was not convinced. That’s where the real cracks in our relationship began to show.

    What do you mean??

    She started avoiding me. Her response times to texts kept getting longer and longer. As soon as I noticed the change, I asked her if something was wrong, but she insisted nothing happened. She argued she was busy with school or there was no network—just ridiculous excuses.

    Then, slowly, we stopped talking on all the apps. She wouldn’t reach out unless I left many messages, snaps and missed calls.

    How did this make you feel?

    I was confused and angry, especially because I was right in the middle of planning an elaborate girlfriend proposal. Literally nothing changed, but in two weeks, it felt like I was trying to talk to a whole different person. It was like the warmth and ease that existed between us evaporated overnight. 

    Eventually, she stopped replying to my messages, like she had fully gone ghost on me.  I reached out to her friends, but they dodged me too. The whiplash of the heartbreak led me down a dark, wild path for a bit.

    What kind of dark, wild path was that? 

    I sunk into vices: alcohol, cigarettes and, especially sex. I was in a hypersexual haze for almost four months before I decided to stop. I was sleeping with every woman who told me yes— and there were many. I was also high most of the time. I was doing everything I could to forget the pain, but I still thought about her a lot.

    Within those four months, I made some less-than-good friends and got embroiled in drama that I didn’t need to be involved in. They accused me of appropriating funds and threatened my career. I had to take a step back and reassess what I wanted out of my life, and I confronted the pain and reality of the relationship with Dunni really being over.

    What did you eventually decide?

    I decided to be celibate, and I took a break from the booze and cigarettes. 

    Oh? How’s that going?

    It’s been great, if only a bit lonely. Celibacy brought me a lot of clarity. I cut off the friends who were draining my energy. I’m now surrounded by people who care about me and don’t put us in volatile situations. I started writing even better music than when I was heartbroken. I also feel better mentally because I’m more in tune with my own body.

    Did you ever get closure from Dunni?

    Yes and no. At the end of November, I contacted her, even though she never called or texted to check on me or see how I was doing the entire time. I wanted to know why she ghosted me. Not knowing why was driving me insane.

    Ah, what did she say?

    She said a lot of nothing. She apologized for ghosting. She said she was scared of what committing to a relationship would mean. She also said she felt very bad about not talking to me for months, but she didn’t say what exactly made her stop talking to me. It’s crazy that it took me reaching out after four months of silence for her to say she was scared of commitment and pushed me away. I think we would have been a great couple, but it is what it is.

    I’m over her now. I just want to focus on my music and concentrate on working through my feelings in healthier ways in the future. Then maybe I can try my hand at love again.

  • Valentine’s Day is almost here, and finding the perfect gift for your lover can feel like a Herculean task. But don’t worry, we’ve got you covered. 

    Whether you’re shopping for him, her, friends, or family, we did the groundwork by asking Nigerians what they’d love to unwrap this Valentine’s, and these budget-friendly gift ideas might just inspire your shopping.

    [ad][/ad]

    Valentine’s Day gift ideas for your wife  

    Being married to the love of your life is enough to want to celebrate the season of love to the max. We asked some Nigerian wives to share the best gifts their husbands have given them, and what they look forward to getting this year.

    Spa day

    Credit: Googleaitestkitchen

    Pamper her with a relaxing day at a spa for a facial or a massage. It shows how much you’re invested in her soft life mantra. Working with a N100k budget? Consider the One and Only Health Care Centre, where for that price, you can get three deep-skin face treatments while sipping on a glass of champagne. You can also get a one hour long deep tissue massage for ₦80,000.

    If you have a smaller budget, try a body treatment from the Strip Wax Bar for as low as ₦30,000, or even a more affordable option like the dermaplaning treatment from the Strip Wax Bar for ₦20,000. 

    Jewellery

    Credit: Shoplamy.com

    If you like it, then you should put a ring on it — or a bracelet, necklace, or earrings. Jewellery is a classic Valentine’s Day gift; the wives we asked said it never misses. If you’re up to splurge, the Swarovski pre-Valentine sales have some stunning options like this gold necklace for ₦124,635. 

    For bold, non-tarnish pieces, check out  ShopLamy, where prices start at ₦10,000.

    For minimalist jewellery, AnythingPretty has beautiful options for as low as ₦6,600.  

    Work bag 

    Credit: Garm Island

    A sleek leather bag will have her looking stylish while keeping her essentials organised. This Garmisland bag is a steal at ₦75,000. Married women we spoke to also love MiraChamp’s beaded bags, like this one, for ₦60,000.

    If your budget is tighter, go for this structured bag on Jumia at ₦18,000. 

    Fitness gear

    credit: Basics Lagos

    Encourage your wife to stick to her New Year’s fitness goals by gifting her these Sweatpants from Basics Lagos for ₦65,000. They also offer tops and jackets in various colours, like this sports jacket  for ₦32,000 or cute sports tee for ₦20,000. If your budget is a bit smaller, you can get this two piece set on Konga for ₦14,500 and Jumia also offers affordable leggings for as low as ₦3,600.

    Scented candle

    Credit: Fitila Home Fragrances

    Infuse the air around her with this luxury oud-scented candle from Diptyque for ₦97,500. You can get these amazing scented candles from Rejoka for prices starting at ₦25,000. The candles from Fitila Home Fragrances will make her fall in love with you again, and prices start at ₦10,000. 

    Valentine’s Day gift ideas for your husband

    Wondering what to get your husband for Valentine’s Day? We asked some married men to describe the most memorable gifts they’ve received from their wives, and what they’d love to unwrap this year. Their answers inspired this recommendation list, perfect for any loving wife looking to spoil her man come February 14.

    Customised native wear

    Credit: Jumia.com

    Everyone loves a man in trad. Get your baby boo a well-tailored fit from a Nigerian designer like Gift Fairy for ₦100,000. For more affordable options between ₦20,000 – ₦50,000 check out Jumia’s offerings here. Make sure you choose his favourite colours or one that matches his aesthetic.

    Tech him up

    Credit: techgpts.com

    Has he been eyeing a new tech gadget? Upgrade his tech game with a sound system for ₦71,250 or wireless headphones for ₦21,000. This power bank for ₦20,000 isn’t a bad option either. 

    Shoes

    Credit: Addidas.com

    There’s no separating a Nigerian man from his shoes. If you can’t decide what to buy, splurge on a shoe.  Consider this classic pair from Adidas for ₦100,000 if he loves casual style, or grab these Jumia classics for only ₦13,000.

    For your husband who works in corporate, you can get him these black penny loafers for ₦80,000 or these Oxfords from Jumia at ₦28,500.

    Shirts

    Credit: Garmspot.com


    Yes, You might think men have unlimited options when it comes to shirts, but the husbands we spoke to said there’s no such thing as too many shirts. Help him build his collection with these stylish Garm Island linen shirt options for the big spenders starting at ₦60,000.  If you’re looking for more affordable options, Graphic Tees from Garmspot start are gentle on the pockets at ₦8,600.

    Valentine’s Day gift ideas for men

    Hear us out: buying a Valentine’s Day gift for the men in your life— your annoying brother, supportive bestie or family friend can feel overwhelming. What do they even want? To make it easier, we asked Nigerian men about the gifts they’ve appreciated the most and what they hope to get this year. Here’s a curated list based on their suggestions to guide you when shopping for the men in your life.

    Cologne

    Credit: manforhimself.com

    Have you ever met a Nigerian man who doesn’t like to smell good? Exactly. A great cologne is a timeless gift.  Help him smell amazing by getting him one of the top five rated perfumes for 2025: Tom Ford Oud Wood Parfum for ₦735,846, Creed Aventus for ₦609,999, Christian Dior Sauvage for ₦424,999, Gucci Oud Intense for ₦306,000, Club De Nuit is a solid choice at ₦78,000.  

    You can also go for budget-friendly options like: Lattafa Khamrah EDP for ₦45,499, Lattafa Asad Parfum For Men EDP for ₦30,000, Lattafa Opulent Oud Edp for ₦20,000, Frank Olivier cologne for ₦10,000, Ard Alzaafran Mousuf EDP Perfume for ₦5,499. 

    Car accessories

    Credit: Temu.com

    Make sure you link up with his mechanic before you make that purchase. This jump start kit from Jumia at ₦102,000 will ensure he’s never stranded on a highway again while this toolbox set starting at ₦70,000 or car scents like this one from Fitila Home Fragrances starting at ₦3,000, —anything that makes his driving experience a little better—are all good options. 

    Wristwatch

    If you can’t afford the latest Rolex or Hublot piece, go for something classic like this clean Casio number that’s on sale right now for ₦100,000.

    Way out of your budget? This Casio, priced at ₦26,000, is a thoughtful Valentine’s Day gift for any man you hold dear. 

    Smart home gadgets

    Credit: Amazon.com

    Alexa, play ‘Upgrade U” by Beyonce. For a tech savvy man, consider a smart home device like an Alexa echopod for ₦100,000. If that’s too expensive, go for this Chrome Cast starting at ₦10,000.

    Valentine’s Day gift ideas for women

    If you’re stuck on what to gift the special women in your life this Valentine’s Day, don’t worry; we’ve got you. From dresses to skincare, these Valentine’s Day gift recommendations came straight from women who’ve received cherished gifts from people they care about.

    Dresses

    Credit: Bawsty.com

    For dates and special events, Bawsty offers stunning options from ₦18,,000 – ₦26,000. You can also turn that special woman into a fashion statement with a gorgeous office dress starting at ₦8,500.  

    Skincare products

    credit: uncoverskincare.com


    You can’t go wrong with skincare. Pick up this Clinique eye cream for ₦78,000 and watch her jump in excitement, or this Uncover sunscreen for ₦13,000. Dove also has a range of budget-friendly skincare products like this body scrub starting at ₦8,000. 

    Cookware set

    Credit: Konga.com

    If she loves to cook and you’ve got a big budget, get this 23-piece cookware set starting at ₦190,000. Go mid-range with this non-stick pressure pot for ₦43,500 and if your budget is modest, this three-piece pot set for ₦6,900 is a practical gift.

    Sunglasses

    Credit: Konga.com

    Deck out her face with these Kuboraum sunnies for ₦661,300 or this stunning pair of sunglasses from Marc Jacobs for ₦225,000.

    Can’t afford high-end brands? You should be on Jumia or Konga. Check out sun shades starting at  ₦18,000 or these other sunglass offerings for as low as ₦3,500. This one, for example. 

    Plateware 

    Credit: lighttrybe.ng

    Got a mum, aunt or cousin who’s super obsessed with her kitchen? A plateware set is more than perfect for a Valentine’s Day gift. There are lots of options to choose from, and if you don’t know where to look, start with this pink ceramic set for ₦87,000. If you’re looking to spend those coins without breaking the bank, this five piece set from Temu for only ₦15,000 should be on your radar.

    Valentine’s Day gift ideas for your friends

    Relationship people can try, but they’ll never steal Valentine’s Day from everyone else. If you’ve got a friend who deserves some soft soft loving, these items are sure to remind them how much you rate them.

    Team jersey

    Credit: nike.com

    For sports fans, jerseys are a thoughtful gift. Nike has cool jersey options starting at ₦136,000, or you can get into retro edition Jerseys for as low as ₦40,000 from My Sport Kit.

    An art gallery experience

    Credit: @Nikeartgallery

    Take your friend to see some amazing art pieces at the Nike Art Gallery or the Red Door Art Gallery for free! You can bond over your opinions about the art you see, especially those by contemporary Nigerian artists. 

    A bottle of wine 

    Credit: shoprite.ng

    Gift your amigo a bottle of wine to celebrate Valentine’s. Not a wine connoisseur? You can hardly go wrong with this bottle of Rose starting at ₦13,000. For non-alcoholic options, this Chamdor wine going for ₦5,500 should be on your radar.

    Vinyl

    Credit: Egwurerecords.shop

    Have friends who collect vinyls? Get them a record of their favourite artist’s album. You can find vinyls here for as low as ₦35,000. If you live in Lagos, you can also get second-hand vinyls of past Nigerian artists at Tejuosho Market for as low as ₦2,000 each.

  • For many couples, sharing a bed is the ultimate symbol of intimacy and closeness in marriage. But let’s face it: reality often has other plans. Whether it’s snoring that rivals a generator set or midnight prayer sessions that make it hard to close your eyes, sleeping in the same room doesn’t always work out.

    We spoke to six married Nigerians who’ve ditched the tradition of shared beds for separate rooms, and they share what led to the change, how it’s affected their relationships, and why sleeping apart isn’t always as unconventional as it seems.

    Zainab*, 34

    When I first noticed my husband’s snoring, I thought it was hilarious. I even recorded him several times and teased him about how loud he was. But by the time I got pregnant, the snoring wasn’t funny anymore. I was struggling with back pain, nausea, and the general stress of pregnancy, and the lack of sleep made everything worse. I tried earplugs and even moved to the couch a few times, but it wasn’t sustainable.

    Eventually, we agreed I’d sleep in the guest room until the baby was born, and honestly, I haven’t moved back since. It’s affected our intimacy—we don’t cuddle at night or wake up together anymore—but my sleep is much better. My husband has been supportive, though. He’s working on making lifestyle changes to address his sleep apnea, so maybe one day, we’ll share a bed again.

    Seun*, 33

    My wife has always been a light sleeper, and I have the terrible habit of waking up in the middle of the night to raid the fridge or scroll through my phone. Sharing a bed meant she was constantly waking up whenever I got up, which led to many arguments. Even when I think I’ve been as quiet as humanly possible, she’d still stir in her sleep or hit the bed with her hands to caution me. 

    Eventually, we decided to try sleeping in separate rooms for a week, and it worked wonders. She sleeps better now, and I don’t feel like I’m walking on eggshells at night. It’s not a perfect solution because we’ve had to get creative to maintain intimacy, but it works for us.

     [ad]

    Amaka*, 29

    My husband is very prayerful, and while I admire his dedication, his midnight prayer sessions are exhausting. He wakes up at 3 a.m. to pray and is not exactly quiet about it. He mumbles, hums, and sometimes even sings softly, which makes it impossible for me to sleep.

    At first, I thought I could power through it or maybe adjust to his schedule, but it didn’t work. I started moving to the spare room on nights when I needed sleep, and eventually, I just stayed there. Sometimes, I think he’s intentionally doing it to guilt-trip me into joining him, but I don’t even feel bad anymore.

    That said, I do miss cuddling with him. Every now and then, I find myself back in bed with him because I miss the intimacy. But the second he starts praying at 3 a.m., I pack my pillow and go straight to the spare room.

    Adaora*, 31

    We didn’t start out sleeping in separate rooms. In fact, we were one of those couples who loved cuddling and falling asleep in each other’s arms. But whenever we had issues, we’d avoid each other by sleeping in different rooms. At first, it was just a way to cool off and avoid escalating the fight.

    Over time, though, it became a habit. Even after we resolved our issues, we’d just stay in our separate spaces because we’d gotten used to it. Now, it’s our default arrangement. We know it’s not ideal—it makes it harder to resolve issues since we’re not sharing a bed—but we don’t see another way. It feels like we’ve reached a point where we enjoy the solitude too much to change things.

    Kunle*, 35

    We live in a mini-flat, and when our first child was born two years ago, I had to vacate the room to give my wife space to manage the baby. I started sleeping on the couch in the living room, and while it was tough at first, I eventually got used to it. Now, the baby is older, but I still haven’t moved back into the room.

    At this point, I’ve come to enjoy the solitude. I get to watch TV late, stay up scrolling my phone without disturbing anyone, and just have my own space. We’re planning to move into a two-bedroom apartment soon, but I don’t think I’ll be sharing a room with my wife again.

    Aramide*, 29

    I’ve had insomnia for as long as I can remember. I toss and turn all night, and even the tiniest sound can keep me awake for hours. My husband, on the other hand, sleeps like a log. He falls asleep in minutes and can sleep through anything.

    At first, I tried to adjust to his schedule, but it just wasn’t working. He’d snore softly, and I’d stare at the ceiling for hours, too annoyed to fall asleep. I started sleeping in the guest room just to see if it would help, and it was a game changer. We still spend time together before bed, but when it’s time to sleep, I need my own space.

    READ THIS NEXT: Love Life: She Cheated But Is Still My One True Love

  • We probably sound like a broken record, but here’s the tea: Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and the lovebirds plan to step on necks this year. Think 2024 was worse? Don’t wait to find out.

    Since some of us are plotting how to avoid sitting at home, crying and throwing all the different variations of “God, when?” at our creator, we’ve compiled 10 places guaranteed to keep you busy, surrounded by people, and far from the sting of loneliness.

    The market

    Forget the cinemas; the market is the real Valentine’s hotspot. With traders yelling, “Come and buy rice, my love!” and “Tomato wey fresh pass your relationship,” you’ll find all the excitement you need. Plus, you’ll get to haggle with someone who’ll call you “my love” without asking for commitment.

    Your family house

    This is the ultimate safe haven. While everyone else is getting fake promises of love, you’ll be chilling with those who truly care about you (and your bank account). Your cousins and siblings might bill you, but it’s all genuine love.

    Spend time with your creator

    You can never go wrong with midweek service or a prayer meeting. There, your pastor will remind you that Jesus loves you unconditionally and that waiting on the Lord is better than a man who couldn’t do all in his power to find you before February 14. 

    Your single friend’s house

    Two singles = zero pressure. You’ll spend time doom scrolling on social media and judging couples and their gifts. “It’s even plastic flowers. God, abeg.”

    A work meeting

    Volunteer for overtime. Not only will you avoid the love-in-the-air nonsense, but you’ll also look like the most dedicated employee in the room. Who needs love when you have career goals?

    [ad]

    Gatecrash a wedding

    Yes, relationship people are extra and annoying like that, so you’ll find a couple or ten getting married on Valentine’s Day. The jollof rice will distract you from the lovebirds taking endless selfies. Bonus points if the DJ plays heartbreak jams during the reception.

    The ATM queue

    No one’s in a romantic mood while waiting for cash. The collective frustration of Nigerians struggling with withdrawals is the perfect distraction from your lack of Valentine’s Day plans.

    The barber’s shop/salon

    While relationship people are getting plastic roses, you’ll be getting a fresh cut or braids to remind you that you’re the prize. Your mirror will hype you more than any boo ever could.

    The cinema (alone)

    Sure, there will be couples, but going solo to watch a horror film ensures you’re not the only one screaming out loud. Besides, you’ll also get the chance to throw popcorn at couples who want to violate the “no intimacy” rule in the cinema.

    A party for single people

    You know those “Singles Mingle” events that pop up around Valentine’s Day? They’re not just for desperate people, I promise. Go with an open mind, free food, and a killer outfit. Your church or estate is probably planning one already as we speak.

    READ THIS TOO: How to Find The Love of Your Life Before February 14

  • Love is sweet, but Nigerian love? Sweeter. And there’s no better time to express it than the Valentine’s Day celebration. Whether you’re sending love messages to your husband who deserves, a wife who has your mumu button, or a boyfriend who’s still cooking his “When will you marry me?” question, we’ve compiled the cutest Valentine messages that’ll make your partner know how much you rate them. Pick one (or all) and spread the love. 

    Valentine messages for your wife

    Want to remind your wife she’s the queen of your heart on February 14? From sweet affirmations to thoughtful prayers, these words will do a good job.

    Valentine Messages

    “Loving you has been the most beautiful journey of my life. You’ve taught me what it means to care deeply, laugh fully, and dream fearlessly. Every moment with you is a treasure, and today I just want you to know that my heart is completely yours forever. Happy Valentine’s Day, baby.”

    • “To my wife and my best friend, happy Valentine’s Day! I love how you love me, and I pray our love grows stronger with each passing day.”
    • “To my wife, my soft life partner, happy Valentine’s Day! Thank you for choosing me over and over again. I love and cherish you more than you’ll ever know.”
    • “To my forever Valentine, thank you for being my peace and my chief sponsor when life is hard. You’re the only one for me in this life.”
    • “Wishing the most special person in my life a Happy Valentine’s Day! Your love is my greatest source of joy, and I’m grateful for every shared heartbeat. Cheers to us, my love!”
    • “Happy Valentine’s Day, sweetheart! You’ve turned my life into a beautiful adventure filled with love, laughter, and endless memories. You’re my greatest blessing, and I’ll never stop being grateful for you. Here’s to celebrating us and everything we’ve built together. I love you to the moon and back!”
    • “Happy Valentine’s Day, baby. I can’t imagine a day without you by my side. You’ve given my life meaning and filled it with joy I never thought possible. Every moment we share feels magical, and I can’t wait to create more memories with you. You are my forever and always.”
    • “To the woman who stole my heart and hid it in her handbag, happy Valentine’s Day! Thank you for making me laugh even life is hard. You and I, forever.”
    • “To my sugar mummy of life, happy Valentine’s Day! You’re my peppered jollof in a world of boiled rice, my beauty without filter, and the only person who knows the real me and still stays. Thank you for making me laugh even when Arsenal is losing. I love you more than you’ll ever know.”
    • “To my oga at the top, my sugar daddy of life, happy Valentine’s Day! Thank you for choosing me over Arsenal (on most days).”

    Valentine messages for your husband

    When it comes to Valentine messages for your husband, you want to remind him just how much he means to you. Whether it’s through heartfelt prayers or sweet words of appreciation, these messages will help you celebrate your king this Valentine’s Day.

    Valentine Messages
    • “Happy Valentine’s Day to the most handsome man in my world. My life would be empty without you. I just want you to know how much you mean to me. Cheers to many more celebrations of our love.”
    • “When I said “I do,” I thought it was impossible to love you more. I was wrong. I love you more and more every day. Happy Valentine’s Day, baby. I’m so glad you are mine.
    • “My love, my ATM that never declines, my always-willing gist partner, happy Valentine’s Day! Thank you for being the calm in my storm and the reason I smile even when Nigeria tries to finish me. You’re proof that God really gives His strongest wives the softest husbands. I love you forever!”
    • “Happy Valentine’s Day to my king, my protector, and my peace. May God continue to bless and strengthen you as you lead our family. I love you endlessly.”
    • “You are the only person I ever want to call my valentine. My life would be empty without you and I always want you to be near me. I’m the luckiest girl in the world to have you because you are the most awesome man in the world. I appreciate how you treat me like a queen. Happy Valentine’s day my love, you’re the best.”
    • “You make everyday Valentine’s Day, but today feels extra special. I love you more than words can express. Happy Valentine’s Day!”
    • “Baby, you have no idea how important you are to me, and I have no idea how to explain it to you. I love you with all I have. Happy Valentine’s day my love.”
    • “To my forever Valentine, Happy Valentine’s Day! Your love is the light that brightens my darkest days. Thank you for being my constant source of happiness and inspiration.”

    Valentine messages for boyfriend

    Whether it’s a romantic note or a playful tease, these Valentine’s Day messages are perfect for the LOYL. 

    • “To my man, my ride-or-die, happy Valentine’s Day! Thank you for being my peace in a world of chaos. I love you forever.”
    • “You still make me laugh. You still give me butterflies in my belly. And I’m still falling for you like it’s the very first day of our story. Happy Valentine’s Day, boo.”
    • “Happy Valentine’s Day, my favourite person. I pray for more beautiful moments and milestones in our love story this year.”
    • “Happy Valentine’s Day, my baby boy for life! You’re the only man I’d buy data for, and that says a lot. Thank you for always holding me down and still knowing when to give me space. You’re my superhero, my soft life partner, and the reason my friends are always jealous. I love you!”
    • “To the man who makes my heart skip a beat and my bank account stay stocked, happy Valentine’s Day! I love you to the moon and back.”
    • “Happy Valentine’s Day, my love. You’re my prayer answered, and I thank God every day for bringing you into my life.”

    Valentine messages for girlfriend

    Valentine Messages

    Your girlfriend deserves Valentine messages that remind her why she agreed to date you in the first place. Make her feel like the absolute star of your life with these cute and heartwarming messages.

    • “I’m successful because I love an incredible woman who always believes in me. You bring out the best in me, and your love completes me. Happy Valentine’s Day!”
    • “When we met years ago, I knew I wanted to spend every single Valentine’s Day with you. You’re my rock and I don’t know what I’d do without you in my life. Here’s to many more celebrations together. Love you baby.”
    • “To my fine girl, my always-stylish lover, happy Valentine’s Day! You’re my muse, my everything, and my favourite person.”
    • “I can only hope that I make you as half as happy as you make me. Happy Valentine’s Day to the most wonderful woman I’ve ever met.”
    • “What would I do without you by my side? Literally, there’s not one thing I can think of. Thanks for being you and for being mine. Happy Valentine’s Day LOML.”

    Valentine messages for your long-distance boyfriend

    Valentine’s Day may feel tougher when you’re far from the LOYL, but the love y’all share is still worth celebrating. And these Valentine messages will help you express your feelings in the most thoughtful way.

    • “Even with thousands of miles between us, my love for you grows stronger every day. You’re my greatest adventure, and I can’t wait until we’re in each other’s arms again. Happy Valentine’s Day, my love.”
    • “Distance means so little when someone means so much. This Valentine’s Day, I’m sending all my hugs and kisses your way. I love you more than words can express.”
    • “They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, and you’ve proven it true. Every second apart is a second closer to the moment we’ll be together again. I love you forever and always.”
    • “Happy Valentine’s Day to the man who’s worth every missed hug and every late-night call. I’m so lucky to have someone who loves me so deeply, even from afar.”
    • “My prayer this Valentine’s Day is that God keeps you safe and strengthens our bond until we’re no longer apart. You’re my blessing, and I love you endlessly.”
    • “Each time I look at the moon, I imagine you looking at it too, and it makes me feel closer to you. I’ll hold on to that thought until the day I can hold you again. Happy Valentine’s Day, my man.”
    • “No distance is too great when love is this strong. Thank you for being patient and understanding, and for always making me feel loved even from miles away. You’re my hero.”

    Valentine messages for your long-distance girlfriend

    Even if you can’t spend Valentine’s Day with your long-distance girlfriend, there’s no reason why she shouldn’t feel loved and appreciated. Start by making her happy with any of these cute Valentine messages that’ll make the distance feel like nothing.

    • “You may be far away, but you live in my heart every single day. Happy Valentine’s Day to the woman who makes my life brighter, even from a distance.”
    • “Knowing you’re mine makes the distance bearable. This Valentine’s Day, I’m counting down the days until I can hold you again. You’re worth every mile and more.”
    • “The only thing that would make this Valentine’s Day better is if I could see your beautiful smile in person. Until then, I’ll hold on to the memories we’ve created and the love we share.”
    • “My prayer for you today is that you’re surrounded by love and happiness, even in my absence. May God keep you safe until the day I can take care of you myself.”
    • “Distance has nothing on us, babe. If anything, it’s proof that our love can withstand anything. I love you today, tomorrow, and forever. Happy Valentine’s Day!”
    • “Every late-night call, every message, every picture—it all reminds me of how lucky I am to call you mine. You’re my peace, my strength, and my everything. I love you, my queen.”
    • “Sometimes, the distance makes me sad, but then I remember it’s only temporary. You’re my greatest motivation, and I’m so proud of us. Happy Valentine’s celebration to my forever love.”

    Read this next: The Zikoko Guide to Helping Your Single Friend Survive Valentine’s Day