The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.
How long have you been with your partner?
Richard and I have been together for one year. We started dating two days before Valentine’s Day 2024.
Wait. How did that happen?
We met after a series of interesting events. I’d just gotten my job and was on my way home when I realised I’d lost my wallet. I was too shy to ask people for money, so I decided to walk home instead. Richard saw me walking and came up beside me to talk to me.
I knew it was the normal “Fine girl, how are you?” levels and thought he was cute, but I wasn’t in the mood. So, I tried to brush him off. But fortunately, Richard was persistent. Soon, I was laughing at his jokes and typing my number into his phone.
I didn’t tell him about my wallet situation, but he stopped a Marwa (tricycle) and paid for my ride home. It felt like fate. That was on February 8. We started dating on February 12.
You’re saying it’s not too late for those looking for love before Valentine’s Day?
It’s not too late o. Richard and I bonded quickly, or maybe I’m just a lover girl. Richard invited me to his house for a home-cooked dinner on Valentine’s Day, and I actually went. It wasn’t exactly the safest thing to do, but Richard was a perfect gentleman.
Since then, we’ve had dinner together at least once every week. It helps us spend time together without breaking the bank. That said, planning for these dinners is tricky because I live with my strict parents, and Richard has a roommate, but we make it work.
What kind of money conversations do you both have?
Pretty much Richard telling me not to spend so much money and me arguing that we only live once. Spending money on the people I love and doing activities together is the best way to create lasting memories. My love language is gift-giving, which involves giving experiences, gifts and money.
People remember how you made them feel, so I like to go all out. Plus, whether we spend money on our loved ones or not, the money will still finish.
But Richard doesn’t exactly see things the same way. He believes in keeping money for the sake of it. To be fair, I earn more than him — he makes ₦80k/month as an admin officer, and I don’t have financial responsibilities, courtesy of my parents. So, I understand why he’s not as open to spending money as I am. I spend enough for both of us anyway.
Tell me more about how you show your partner love with gifts
I don’t wait for special occasions to buy him things. If I see something I think he’ll like, I get them. This usually happens twice a month. I’ve got him clothes, watches, a pair of shoes, and even socks. Sometimes, I send him money randomly — not more than ₦10k at a time, though. For his birthday, I bought him perfumes, a jersey from his football club and a cardigan. It all cost about ₦50k.
Richard tries to reciprocate. For my birthday, he bought me a dress and skincare products. But the gifts aren’t as frequent as mine. I don’t mind; he shows his love in other ways, like the cute notes he writes to me. Plus, I understand he has to be financially responsible. So, it’s not a big deal that he doesn’t give me money or buy me stuff.
Do you both have a budget for dates and other romance stuff?
Not really. We have dinners weekly at Richard’s place, and he cooks the food. Any other activity we participate in happens because I insist on it, and I typically pay for those. The frequency is maybe once every two months.
I intend to go all out for Valentine’s Day this year, though. It’s like a double celebration, our anniversary and Valentine’s. I don’t know if Richard has anything planned for our anniversary — he says he wants to surprise me — but I have plans of my own.
I’ve given my parents a convincing excuse for the weekend. So, Richard and I can enjoy a two-day staycation in Abuja. We’ll stay in a hotel and visit spots across the city. I estimate it’ll cost ₦300k, and I’ve been saving since October for it.
It’s the focus and planning for me
All that’s left is to convince Richard that heaven won’t fall if we spend that much money. I’m sure I’ll get my way.
How are you both thinking about future plans for your relationship?
We’ve discussed marriage, but it likely won’t happen for a few years — at least until we’re in better financial shape. Richard wants to get a postgraduate degree, hopefully abroad, to improve his income potential.
I need to become proactive about financial planning. My parents are my safety nets right now, but I can’t rely on them forever, so I’ll need to grow up soon. Maybe after this, I’ll sit down and draw up a budget for my expenses so I can start saving gradually.
So, yeah, there’s a lot for both of us to figure out before settling down. But we’re definitely in it together for the long haul.
What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?
I want us to grow our finances so that Richard doesn’t have to worry so much about keeping money and can enjoy himself.
Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.
*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.
When you catch a partner cheating, you have two options: walk away quietly or make sure they feel the pain ten times worse. While some people choose to ply the higher road, some Nigerians got their pound of flesh from philandering partners.
They open up about the most savage thing they did, and honestly? Some of these will leave you in varying degrees of “God, abeg”.
“I slept with his best friend and made sure he found out”
Some people break up when they find out they’ve been cheated on. Others return the favour, and that’s exactly what *Bimbo, 28, did. She shares:
“My ex cheated on me with someone from his office, and when I confronted him, he acted like it wasn’t a big deal. I was fuming. His best friend had always flirted with me, so I decided to see how far he’d go. Long story short? He didn’t disappoint. I made sure my ex found out the same way I did; through screenshots. He called me screaming and I just let out a long evil laughter. Then, I blocked him.”
“I made sure his side chick dumped him too”
There’s something satisfying about knowing that the person they cheated with no longer wants them either. *Amaka, 28, shares how she made it happen:
“I wasn’t going to fight my ex over a man. Instead, I decided to talk to the babe. I sent her receipts — chats, transfers, and all the romantic nonsense he was telling both of us. At first, she didn’t believe me, but when I told her to ask him a specific question and see how he lied, she called me back in shock. Next thing I knew, she dumped him too. The best part? She and I are still cool.”
“I made sure her best friend helped me heal”
Some people cut ties and move on. *Daniel, 30, decided to heal in a way his ex would never forget.
“When I found out she was cheating, I didn’t confront her,” he shares. “I simply started talking to her best friend. The funny thing is, it wasn’t planned, but she was there for me while I was hurting, and one thing led to another. My ex found out when she saw us on a date and tried to create a scene at the restaurant but I wasn’t having it. I got home to a “we need to talk” text message, and I responded with receipts of her chats with the person she cheated with. She tried to deny it and spent weeks gaslighting me, but I’d already checked out.”
“I started praying against him after we broke up”
Not all acts of revenge are loud and dramatic. Some are taken straight to God’s ears. *Halima, 27, shares:
“I was heartbroken when I found out my ex had been cheating for most of our relationship. At first, I wanted to expose him, but then I realised I didn’t need to stress when I could hand him over to God. Every morning, I prayed: ‘Lord, let his enemies locate him. May every babe he cheats with break his heart. May he know no peace until he repents.’ Last I heard, his life has been in shambles. I didn’t do anything, God did.”
“I stopped her family’s allowance, and they had to beg on her behalf”
Some men forgive and forget. *Kunle, 35, reminded his partner exactly who was doing the heavy financial lifting in the relationship.”
“We were already engaged, so I’d started doing stuff for her family. I used to send her parents money every month and covered some of her siblings’ school fees. When I found out she was still entertaining an ex, I didn’t argue. I simply stopped sending anything. The first month, she thought it was a mistake. By the second month, her mum called. By the third, the whole family stepped in to beg. I let them know their daughter was entertaining another man while spending my money. They apologised on her behalf. I never took her back, though.”
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“I told his family he had an STD”
*Esther, 27, was heartbroken when she found out her boyfriend of two years was sleeping around and endangering her health. Before ending their relationship, she gave him a taste of his own medicine.
“I wanted to do something that’ll hurt him so bad,” she recounts. I got this crazy idea from a Nollywood movie and ran with it. I sent his mum a message saying: ‘Please tell your son to get tested before spreading infections.’ His relatives called me immediately, and I didn’t pick up. He was also blowing up my phone, asking what I told his family, but I didn’t respond either. I later found out from his cousin that they dragged him to the hospital the next week and embarrassed him in front of their family doctor. He was clean, but that’s not the point. He will never forget the shame.”
“I put sleeping pills in his food every Monday for a whole month”
*Zainab, 35, didn’t just break up and move on from a cheating ex. She made sure he felt the weight of his actions.
“Every Monday, for a whole month, I crushed sleeping pills into his food. He would eat, get extremely drowsy, and complain as he tried to get to work. He was constantly leaving the house late and missing Monday meetings. By the end of the month, he was convinced it was a spiritual attack because he’d already been served a query at work. I wanted to continue for as long as I could, but I was also concerned about his health, so I stopped. We eventually broke up about four months later.”
Note: While revenge can feel satisfying in the moment, secretly drugging someone is reckless and could have dangerous consequences. We do not condone this in any form
“I reported her to my spiritual guardian”
Some people forgive and move on but not *Ayo, 37. He shares how he handed over his cheating ex to higher powers.
“I felt like a fool when I found out she was cheating. I didn’t want a confrontation because I didn’t even have evidence to begin with. It was just something I knew off my intuition. So, I reported to my spiritual mother. I didn’t give any specific demands about what she should do. I just told her, ‘I really loved this person, and I suspect this is what she did to me’. To be honest, I don’t know if anything was done. All I know is, she’s pushing 35 and still isn’t in a proper relationship. Last I heard, her relationships keep failing. Who knows, maybe my godmother dealt with her, or she can’t keep a relationship because of her cheating.”
Sometimes, love can be messy. If you relate to any of these stories, you should read our Love Life interview, where a Nigerian couple gets candid about how they navigated infidelity in their union.
I met him on Tinder in January 2020, and our connection was instant. We started talking every day—long phone calls, endless texts, funny videos back and forth, you name it. After two or three weeks, we decided to meet in person for a date.
When I saw him, I was so blown away. He was every bit as handsome as his photos, and I was very pleased. He took me to a very fancy restaurant by the waterside for dinner, and we talked until late. Between the romantic live music, the handsome man, and the good food, I was so sure I had found my bus stop. Mschew, if only I had known.
What happened?
For context, I had my period on the day of the date. Because I didn’t want to rush into intimacy, I scheduled the date to fall around when my period would come around. We had agreed to have dinner first, and then I would spend two nights at his place.
After the date, we went back to his house. Much to his frustration, we couldn’t have sex. Instead, we made out and snuggled in bed, and everything felt chill.
In the morning, while we were tidying up his apartment, he stepped out to take a work call. When he came back in, he said he wanted me to stay even longer than we agreed. The plan was for me to go home, get more clothes, and then return to his apartment. He was rushing me, so I assumed I didn’t need to take the clothes that were already there, given that I would be back soon. Instead, I folded them into one of the closets and left.
I was shocked when I got home, and I found out that he had blocked me everywhere.
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That’s crazy o.
You have no idea. I had to use my roommate’s phone to call him and figure out what was going on. That’s when I found out he was married o and his wife was on her way back home, all while he was rushing me out of the house.
Ah. What did you do?
I immediately started begging him to send me my clothes because one of my favourite ones— a gift from my mom — was in that closet. He agreed, unblocked me, and then called my number—I could tell I was on loudspeaker. He started asking if we had sex; it was apparent his woman was grilling him, and he wanted me to clear his name.
Omo. What did you say?
I was really irritated, and I felt used because we were so close. I never guessed he was even talking to someone else, let alone being married.
I answered his foolish question, but not before I threatened to drag him online if he didn’t send my clothes to me ASAP. According to his wife, “Melvin” wasn’t even his real name. I hated everything about that experience.
As soon as I got my clothes from a delivery rider, I blocked him. I pray I never encounter such rubbish again.
I was searching for people who had fallen out with their parents when I found *Fareedat.
In this story, the 42-year-old single mum of three opens up about the tough decisions that led her to send her mother back home and the struggles of navigating family, distance, and regret.
As told to Adeyinka
I thought bringing my mum to care for my kids was the best decision I could make. After all, she raised me. Who better to look after them while I was thousands of miles away? But now, sitting in my small apartment in Canada, dreading every phone call from home, I realise I made a huge mistake.
When I relocated to Canada last year, leaving my three children behind in Nigeria was the hardest thing I had to do. I had been my children’s primary caregiver for years. Though their father and I were separated and he was still involved, I didn’t trust him to handle their daily care the way I would. Taking them with me wasn’t an option at the time, and the only solution that made sense was getting someone I trusted to stay with them.
I didn’t have many people I could turn to. My siblings and I had grown apart over the years, and extended family wasn’t an option — either because they weren’t interested or because I couldn’t see them taking good enough care of my children. The only person I felt remotely comfortable asking was my mum.
I won’t pretend we had a perfect relationship. Growing up, I had my fair share of issues with her; she was strict, impatient, and not the most affectionate person. But she was my mum, and at the end of the day, she had raised me. I thought that if I explained what I needed and set clear boundaries, she would step up for her grandchildren in a way she couldn’t for me.
I begged her to move from Osun State to Lagos to stay with them. She hesitated at first, saying she was too old to be running around after kids, but I assured her that I would send more than enough money for their upkeep and get someone to help around the house. She eventually agreed, and I felt a sense of relief for the first time since my relocation. I thought I had found the perfect solution. I had no idea the chaos that was about to unfold.
Within weeks, I started getting complaints. At first, they were small things. My mum made them wake up way earlier than they were used to, forcing them to eat meals they didn’t like, or complaining that they spent too much time watching TV. I told them to be patient. “Grandma is old school,” I reminded them. “Just listen to her and don’t give her stress.”
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But soon, the complaints became impossible to ignore. My first son, who is 13, started calling me every other day, his voice a mix of frustration and exhaustion. “Mummy, Grandma is always shouting. If I forget to do anything, she won’t just correct me; she’ll insult me for hours.”
My 10-year-old daughter would call crying because Grandma had called her lazy and cursed her out for not washing plates quickly enough. My youngest, just eight, became quieter on the phone, which scared me the most. It was unlike him. I kept asking him what was wrong, but he would just mumble that everything was fine and pass the phone back to his siblings.
The final straw came one evening when my eight-year-old finally admitted what had been happening. He called me crying and said, “Mummy, Grandma didn’t let me eat dinner because she said I was stubborn.”
I tried to stay calm and proceeded to ask why. He said he forgot to greet her when returned from school, and her response was to deny him dinner.
My heart sank. I knew my mum was harsh, but this was beyond what I could tolerate. I was over 10,000 kilometres away, unable to physically intervene, and my child was being denied food over something so small.
I called her immediately, barely able to keep my voice steady and asked what was going on. My mum sighed dramatically and was already defensive. Then she went on a long rant about how my children don’t respect her. She said I’d spoiled them. I remember her saying something along the lines of, “In my time, children knew their place. If you don’t train them well, the world will train them for you.”
I tried to explain to her that discipline didn’t have to come with verbal abuse or punishment that could affect the kids emotionally, but she wasn’t having it. She insisted I was overreacting and that my children would grow up to be “useless” if I didn’t toughen them up.
That was the beginning of months of tension. Every time I tried to have a civil conversation, she dismissed me. She insisted the children were exaggerating things to make her look bad. But I could hear the frustration and sadness in their voices. The love they once had for their grandmother was turning into resentment.
My mum and I started fighting more. She said I was ungrateful and had left my kids for her to raise but was dictating how she should do it. She stopped taking my calls as often, and when she did, she only called to tell me how stubborn my children were and how I was failing as a mother.
One night, my daughter sent me a voice note of my mum saying, “Your mother has spoiled all of you. If I had my way, I’d send you to the village to suffer.” I played the voice note repeatedly, and my chest tightened with each listen.
That was when I knew things had to change. I had left Nigeria thinking I was making the best possible choice for my kids, but I had only put them in another difficult situation. I could no longer prioritise keeping the peace with my mother over their emotional well-being.
So I made the hardest call I have ever had to make. I told her she had to leave.
She didn’t argue. She just said, “Fine. Let me pack my things.” But her tone was cold, and I knew she would never forgive me for it.
At first, I felt relief. But then, the reality of my decision hit me. I had removed my mum from the situation, but I hadn’t solved the bigger problem — who would take care of my kids now?
I have two options: I can beg another family member to move in, or I can send them to live with a friend’s family. But I’m terrified of making another mistake. What if the next person I trust with them is just as bad or worse?
For now, I call them every morning and night, making sure they are okay. But I know this isn’t a long-term solution. I need to figure something out soon.
I just hope I don’t regret my next decision, too.
Struggling with a difficult relationship with your parents? You’re not alone. Read our article, where Nigerians open up about navigating fractured family bonds and the tough choices that come with it.
Valentine’s Day means different things at different stages of life. At one point, it was secret love notes and butterflies. Then it became grand romantic gestures and expensive dinner dates. And now? For some, it’s just another day. For others, it has evolved into something even bigger.
We spoke to seven Nigerians about how their Valentine’s Day celebrations have changed over the years — some for better, some for worse.
“It used to be about love; now, it’s just vibes”
In secondary school, *Chiamaka, 29, remembers the butterflies-in-my-tummy thrill of getting a Valentine’s gift for the first time from an anonymous crush. It wasn’t much — just a handwritten card and a chocolate bar — but the mystery of who sent it kept her smiling for weeks.
“My best friend’s boyfriend got her a massive teddy bear, and I was so jealous,” she recounts. “Then, just before lunch break, I found a handwritten card and a bar of chocolate in my bag. I still don’t know who put it there, but I held onto that card for months, imagining it was from my crush.”
By university, Valentine’s became a bigger affair. Fancy dates, Instagram-worthy moments, and carefully curated surprises became the norm. For her, it was less about love and more about making sure you were in a relationship that looked good online. “The pressure was insane in UNILAG,” she says. “If the gift didn’t have that wow factor, it was best to keep it hidden.”
Now? Single and struggling to survive Jagaban’s daily shege, she barely remembers the day unless she sees other people posting. If no one sends her a “Happy Valentine’s” text, she just moves on like it’s any other day.
“My husband used to go all out. Now, it’s just gifts”
*Tolu, 31, from Lagos, still vividly remembers how her husband — back when he was just her boyfriend — used to set the bar high.
“One year, he set up a candlelit dinner in his tiny self-contained apartment, handwrote a love letter, and cooked different meals for me,” she shares. “Another time, he planned a surprise picnic with all our favourite songs playing in the background.”
Now that they’re married, she still gets gifts, but the grand romantic gestures have trickled to a halt. “There’s hardly time for handwritten notes, carefully planned dates — just a wrapped present and a casual ‘Happy Valentine’s, babe’, and we keep it moving.”
She once asked him why he doesn’t do anything extra anymore, and he laughed, saying, “Babe, we’re already married. Every day is Valentine’s Day.”
Tolu doesn’t argue. She loves her husband, but sometimes, she misses the old him.
“From partying with the LOML to staying home”
*David, 32, from Lagos, used to throw Valentine’s parties with his boyfriend and their friends. Whether they were in relationships or not, it was always a night filled with drinks, loud music, and lots of flirting.
“My first Valentine with a partner was in 2019. We attended this underground queer party in Ilupeju, and it was honestly the best night. We spent 2021 and 2022 Valentine’s Day in the same place, but my BF relocated in 2023,” he shares.
Now? Valentine’s is still spent with his boyfriend, but mostly quiet. “The year he travelled, we didn’t even speak on Valentine’s Day because he was tied up with school and other stuff. Last year, we watched a movie together remotely, and he sent me money. This year? I don’t know what the plans are yet. The celebration never feels the same with a thousand miles between us.”
Does he miss the wild celebrations? Sometimes. But he’s also glad he doesn’t have to argue over splitting bills with his friends anymore.
“I proposed on Valentine’s Day. Now, it’s our anniversary and her baby shower”
*Ayo, 35, an Ibadan-based entrepreneur, never expected Valentine’s Day to become the most significant day of his life. He had planned the proposal in 2019 for weeks, making sure it wasn’t just a cliché dinner date. He got their families involved, booked a rooftop venue, and made sure it was a day his girlfriend (now wife) would never forget.
A year later, they got married on the same day. Now, Valentine’s Day isn’t just about romance — it’s their wedding anniversary. This year, it’s even bigger. His wife’s baby shower is happening on the same day.
“While people are planning dinner dates, I’m planning an anniversary dinner and a baby shower at the same time,” the expecting dad shares. “Valentine’s Day has always been a double celebration for me, and honestly? I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Don’t know what to gift the absolute LOYL this Valentine’s ? We’ve got the best Valentine’s Day gifting guide at the end of this article.
“Didn’t care then, don’t care now”
Some things change over time. But for *Ibrahim, 27, his feelings toward Valentine’s Day have remained the same.
Back in secondary school, he never got anything while the other boys in his class showed off the gifts their crushes had given them. “Cute notes, chocolate bars, perfumes…nothing ever came to me,” he recounts. “I was that one guy in class that no one was attracted to and I took it like that.”
By the time he got into a relationship later in university, his girlfriend was the one reminding him to plan something and make the day special. “My argument was always how I spoilt her with gifts on other random days, and why it shouldn’t mean anything if we spent the entire Valentine’s Day sleeping inside the house,” he shares. Plus, as a Muslim, he didn’t think he should be participating in the celebration anyway.
Now that he’s single again? Back to being unbothered.
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“My wife used to cry if I didn’t plan something. Now, she just wants a break”
For *Dele, 28, from Ibadan, Valentine’s Day used to be a high-pressure event. His wife, back when they were dating in university, expected thoughtful gifts, flowers, surprises — and if he forgot? She would get emotional about it.
“My wife? She doesn’t joke with special celebrations. Anniversaries, birthdays, Valentine’s Day…she has all the dates marked out in her calendar and she expects to have a celebration. I definitely struggled with keeping up in those first years because I never remember shit.”
One year, he didn’t plan anything. The silence in the house lasted an entire week. “I ended up spending double on a weekend getaway just to make up for my wrongdoing,” he recounts.
Now that they’re married with kids, things are different. When he asked what she wanted last year, she sighed and said, “Please, just take the kids out and let me have the house to myself for a few hours.”
That was the best Valentine’s gift he ever gave her. This year, there’s little to no motivation about doing anything extra. “We might go out for movies or a nice meal, but nothing extra.”
“I was broke AF, now I can afford to do anything”
*Jason’s love life during his early 20s was plagued with grand romantic ideas and gestures that never came to life due to limited financial resources. “Valentine’s was stressful AF because I was broke,” he shares.” It didn’t help that my babe was one of the prettiest in our department, and I always assumed she was one yahoo boy closer to dumping my ass. I had to get creative — handwritten notes, mixed CDs, small gifts. She always accepted them, but I never really thought I was giving her the best.”
Now, single in his 30s with a nice paying 9-5 job, the financial implications of Valentine’s Day are the least of his worries. “I can book staycations, buy expensive perfumes, and do the things I couldn’t back then. But then there’s the question of who am I doing these things for?”
Exactly six days to February 14, Jason’s yet to secure a val, and he’s not in the tiniest bit bothered. “I spend most of my Friday nights out with friends, so it’ll just be another Friday.”
Change is constant
For some people, the years have eaten into how they approach Valentine’s Day celebrations. The activities surrounding the day have gone from grand romantic gestures to just another day. However, for some others, it has become more meaningful over time.
Whether it’s a nostalgic memory, an anniversary, or a reminder that your partner used to try harder, one thing is clear — Valentine’s Day never stays the same forever.
And if you don’t care for romantic love and all its accoutrements, you should read our article on how aromantic Nigerians feel about the season of love.
Popular media and culture are saturated with images of heterosexual, monogamous relationships as the ideal set-up for “true romance”, especially around Valentine’s Day. But love exists in many forms, and unconventional relationship structures navigate the love holiday in unique ways.
Curious, Zikoko sat with six non-monogamous Nigerians to explore how they celebrate Valentine’s, their past experiences, and what the day means to them.
Navigating love beyond monogamy
For those in non-monogamous relationships, Valentine’s Day can be a delicate balancing act of time, attention, and resources. Some find ways to celebrate each partner individually, while others embrace group activities or choose to celebrate on different days.
Here’s how six Nigerians in non-monogamous relationships approach the holiday of love.
“I can’t spend Valentine’s Day with multiple people” — Tomi*(23)
I had my first Valentine’s experience in a polyamorous relationship, and it taught me some hard lessons. First, I can’t spend Valentine’s Day with multiple people. I like to treat each of my partners as specially as possible (and within my budget), so trying to schedule multiple dates on the same day isn’t ideal for me.
I prefer to designate time between my partners to make sure I spend quality time with each of them because that’s one of my primary love languages.
I love Valentine’s Day because I’m a romantic, and it allows me to do things that will appeal to each of my partners specifically. This year, I have one partner and I’m making her a scrapbook of some of our favourite memories since we’ve been together.
My favourite part about Valentine’s is that I get to do something special and romantic for my partner. My least favourite thing about the holiday is the cost — doing something cute for the person you love can really drain your account, but it’s worth it.
“If you choose to spend Valentine’s Day with one person, it may seem like you’re placing that partner above your other partners”— Junior*(27)
Personally, Valentine’s Day is always chaotic. I wouldn’t say I have traditions, but sometimes I plan multiple dates with different time slots on that day, which is mostly impractical. Other times, I just spend it alone since scheduling can be tricky, and sometimes, I plan stuff for other days because everyone can be busy on Valentine’s Day.
My favourite part about Valentine’s is that there’s more love to celebrate. My least favourite bit is that it depends on how you choose to spend the day. If you spend it alone, you’re good. But if you choose to spend it with one person, it may seem like you’re placing that partner above any other person you’re sharing your love with, and that just leads to wahala.
“It’s my dream to make more money so I can totally bankroll my wives and all their desires.” — Mila*(24)
Valentine’s Day is looking like plenty debit alerts, kai. I have three partners, and between curating gift boxes and the exchange rate, I’m leaking money everywhere. I show love with gift giving, so it’s very important to me that I come correct when I send gifts. It’s my dream to make more money so I can totally bankroll my wives and all their desires.
“I’m currently writing each of my friends a heartfelt love letter, which they will receive on Valentine’s Day.” — Tiolu*(25)
I’m aroace, non-monogamous and single this Valentine’s. So I don’t have much planned, but I’m currently writing each of my friends a heartfelt love letter, which they will receive on Valentine’s Day. I’m also considering a physical celebration with my friends — the possibilities are endless.
“This year because the economy is not smiling, we’re doing a weekend staycation at my apartment.” — Yemisi* (27)
I don’t really care for Valentine’s Day, but one of my partners really loves it, so I try to go the extra mile. This year, because the economy is not smiling, we’re doing a weekend staycation at my apartment. We’re going to watch all his favourite shows and play games and cuddle. Then next week I’ll go on a nice dinner date with my other partner just to keep things balanced.
My favourite thing about Valentine’s is that everyone is so lovey-dovey — it’s adorable. My least favourite thing, though, is that the social media pressure can be a bit stifling.
Do you want to plan a romantic Valentine’s dinner experience for ₦100,000 and under? We’ve got a list of options for you in Lagos and Abuja to check out.
Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, and the streets will soon be flooded with sickening displays of love —oversized teddy bears, annoying flower bouquets, and couples taking up all the good restaurant reservations. If you’re single, you have two options: wallow in self-pity or take matters into your own hands and reclaim the day. We vote for chaos.
Here’s a step-by-step guide to pulling off a successful Valentine’s Day heist and getting away with it.
1. Hijack a Valentine’s Day delivery
The streets of Lagos are about to be filled with dispatch riders carrying everything from designer perfumes to trays of Shawarma & Red Velvet cake combos. Do you see where I’m going with this?
How to execute:
Find a busy junction where delivery bikes tend to stop — maybe they’re checking their Google Maps, or maybe they’re stuck in traffic. Approach the rider and say, “Oh, you’re from XYZ Logistics? Are you the one delivering Sandra’s package?”
The key is confidence. If he hesitates, throw in, “She said I should help her collect it. She’s inside the restaurant already.” Take the package, walk away like you own the street, and enjoy whatever Sandra’s loving boyfriend bought for her.
Risk level: 8/10. Nigerian delivery riders don’t joke with their jobs. If he suspects foul play, he may chase you down with the speed of an angry NURTW roadman.
2. Crash a romantic picnic
Valentine’s Day is the one-time couples forget about security. Love has entered their eyes, and they’re too busy staring into each other’s souls to notice a stranger casually stealing their extra cupcakes.
How to execute:
Wear your best “I belong here” outfit. Casually stroll into a park where lovebirds are picnicking. Pretend you’re looking for your “friend.” Spot a picnic setup that looks promising. Slowly migrate towards it, nodding and smiling like you belong.
At the right moment, strike up a conversation. “Hey, are you guys here for Chidera’s thing too?” No one wants to admit they don’t know who Chidera is. Before they realise, you’re already on the blanket, eating strawberries and sipping Chapman.
Risk level: 6/10. If they suspect you’re an intruder, you may need an emergency fake phone call and a dramatic exit.
3. Take advantage of a wrong number
People text the wrong numbers all the time, and on Valentine’s Day, the chances triple. Someone, somewhere, is texting the wrong person: “Hey baby, meet me at 7 p.m.”
How to execute:
If you get a wrong text, PLAY ALONG. Respond with, “Babe, I’ve missed you too! Where are we meeting again?” Once they confirm the location, show up looking your best. If it’s a restaurant, arrive first and say, “He’s on his way, but he said I should order for both of us.” Eat, drink, and disappear before the real “babe” arrives.
Risk level: 9/10. If you get caught, be ready to perform “I just arrived” convincingly.
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4. “Borrow” flowers from a romantic setup
Restaurants and lounges will be decorated with roses, balloons, and cute little love notes. Who said these are just for couples?
How to execute:
Walk in like you own the place, admire the setup, and casually pick a bouquet when no one is looking. Make sure you get the f*ck outta there and don’t look back even if a thousand voices call out to you. Boom! You got yourself an instant Valentine’s Day gift.
Risk level: 7/10. If you get caught, just say “ “Oh, I thought these were complimentary,” and you might walk away unscathed.
5. Fake a Valentine’s Day giveaway win
Brands love Valentine’s Day giveaways and the one thing they hate? Bad PR.
How to execute:
Find a giveaway post that’s picking winners manually (not a random generator). DM the brand with something dramatic but polite.
“Hey, I saw I wasn’t picked, but this giveaway meant so much to me. Valentine’s is really tough this year, and I was hoping for even the smallest joy.”
Most brands would rather give you something small than be accused of dishonesty. Even if it’s just a discount code, it’s still a win.
Risk level: 3/10. The worst thing that can happen is being ignored.
6. Hijack corporate Valentine hampers
Offices love sending out Valentine’s hampers, but let’s be real—not all of them will reach the intended recipient.
How to execute:
Befriend your office receptionist and be on the lookout for unclaimed gifts. If your name is remotely close to the recipient’s, congratulations—you just got a mystery admirer.
Risk level: 5/10. If your bosses find out, your February salary might be a couple thousand short.
Living and loving in Lagos can feel like an extreme sport — especially in a tiny apartment.
Between skyrocketing rent, relentless traffic, and the daily hustle, young couples in the city face a unique challenge: balancing love, ambition, and personal space in what often feels like a shoebox.
It’s why “Tiny Apartment” by Victony & Saint JHN caught my attention. The bittersweet track mirrors the reality of so many couples — where love, frustration, and limited space collide.
Inspired by the song, we spoke to three couples about the unexpected lessons of love in Lagos’ tightest quarters — how they make it work, what nearly tore them apart, and the moments that reminded them why they chose each other.
Bayo & Ife: Love, Money and the Financial Tightrope
For Bayo and Ife, financial transparency has become a cornerstone of their relationship. But getting there wasn’t easy.
One of the first hurdles couples face when moving in together is money. For Bayo and Ife, both in their late 20s, sharing a one-bedroom apartment in Yaba came with unspoken expectations. Early on, they agreed to split rent equally, but other expenses like groceries, utilities, and occasional treats became a gray area.
One instance stands out: Ife unexpectedly had to cover a large electricity bill when Bayo’s paycheck was delayed.
“I didn’t say anything at first,” Ife recalls, “but I was frustrated. I felt like I was carrying more of the burden that month.”
Bayo, on the other hand, admits he sometimes feels pressured to contribute more, even when he’s stretched thin. “Ife has a higher-paying job, and sometimes I feel like she expects me to match her financially, even though I can’t,” he shares.
This dynamic has led to moments of tension, especially when Ife makes offhand comments like, “I paid for groceries again,” which Bayo interprets as passive-aggressive. To navigate this, they’ve started a joint budget spreadsheet to track shared expenses and contributions.
When asked how they came up with the idea, Ife shares, “I had initiated us going on a date, but when it was time to pay for dinner, there was an awkward silence. Bayo suggested we create a joint budget spreadsheet.” She admits, “It was awkward at first, but now it’s our secret weapon. It helps us stay accountable and avoid assumptions.” Bayo adds, “We’ve learned to be more patient with each other. Money is a touchy subject, but it’s also a team effort.”
Takeaway: Financial transparency prevents resentment. A shared budget can help couples stay accountable and avoid misunderstandings.
Amaka & Kunle: The Exhaustion of Lagos Traffic
Lagos traffic is infamous, and for couples like Amaka and Kunle, it’s a daily battle that drains their time and energy. The city’s constant hustle can leave little room for quality time, which is essential for maintaining a healthy relationship.
Kunle, who works four days a week, often wakes up at 4:30 AM to beat the traffic. By the time he gets home, he’s drained. “I just want to eat, shower, and sleep,” he admits. “But sometimes Amaka wants to talk or spend time together, and I feel guilty for not having the energy.”
Amaka, who works three days a week, has felt neglected at times. “Kunle used to give me massages and plan little surprises,” she says. “Now, it feels like we’re just coexisting. I miss the intimacy we used to have.”
One evening, Amaka confronted Kunle about how distant he’d become. “I told him I felt like he didn’t care anymore,” she shares.
Kunle, however, felt misunderstood. “I’m exhausted, but it’s not because I don’t love her,” he explains. “I just feel like she doesn’t realize how much the traffic and work take out of me.”
Then, one night changed everything.
“On June 25th, there was a flood on the island, the roads were blocked, and a celebrity had gotten married,” Kunle recalls. “I got home around 2 AM, and Amaka was waiting for me. She had prepared my food, brought out a change of clothes, and even had hot water ready for me to shower. You need to understand that she had to leave for work in less than three hours, but she was waiting for me. It reminded me why we’re doing this.”
To bridge the gap, they’ve started scheduling date nights at home, even if it’s just watching a movie together or cooking a meal. “It’s not about grand gestures,” Amaka says. “It’s about being present for each other, even when life gets overwhelming.”
When asked how the date night has rekindled their connection, Kunle says, “Knowing that you are loved and worth the inconvenience, I look for ways to keep that smile on her face. Seeing her happy keeps me happy.”
Takeaway: In the chaos of Lagos, small moments matter. Even simple at-home date nights help keep relationships strong.
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Tobi & Chioma: The Introvert-Extrovert Dynamic
Tobi and Chioma’s relationship is a classic case of opposites attracting — and occasionally clashing.
Tobi, an extrovert, loves bringing his friends over and introducing them to Chioma. “I want her to be part of my world,” he says. But Chioma, an introvert, often feels overwhelmed by these gatherings. Living in a small apartment means there’s little room for personal space.
“I need time to recharge, and having people over in our tiny apartment feels invasive,” she explains. “But when you’re sharing a tiny apartment, that’s easier said than done.”
Their differences came to a head during a heated argument about Tobi’s plans to host a game night. “I felt like he wasn’t considering my needs,” Chioma says. “He just assumed I’d be okay with it.”
Tobi, on the other hand, felt hurt. “I thought she didn’t like my friends or didn’t want to be part of my life,” he admits.
During the heated argument about Tobi’s game night plans, Chioma stormed out to the balcony, leaving Tobi frustrated and confused. “I didn’t know how to give her space in such a small apartment,” he admits. “It felt like she was shutting me out.”
When they argue, Chioma’s need for space becomes a challenge in their small apartment. “I can’t just go to another room to cool off,” she says. “Sometimes, I sit on the balcony or take a walk, but it’s not the same.”
To navigate this, they’ve developed a system:
When Chioma needs space, she puts on headphones and listens to music, signalling Tobi that she needs time to process.
Tobi, in turn, has learned to give her that space without taking it personally.
“It’s still a work in progress,” Chioma says. “But we’re getting better at respecting each other’s needs.”
Takeaway: Personal space is important — even in small apartments. Establish a system that lets both partners breathe without resentment.
Small Spaces, Big Lessons
All three couples agree: a tiny apartment forces you to communicate.
“You can’t hide from each other in a tiny apartment,” Kunle jokes. You either learn to fix things, or the walls close in — literally.
For young couples navigating similar struggles, these stories remind us that love isn’t about the size of your apartment but the strength of your bond. They remind us that even in the most cramped corners, the biggest love can grow.
Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.
What’s your earliest memory of each other?
Joy: It was in March 2019. I don’t exactly remember how I got his contact, but I know we bonded over Juice Wrld’s “Robbery”.
Declan: She’s right. I’d texted her on a WhatsApp group for freshers to make some enquiries about school. We saved each other’s numbers afterwards, and that was when she saw a short clip of a Juice Wrld music video I’d posted on my WhatsApp status.
She reacted and asked me to send the clip, but I sent the full music video to her since I had it on my phone.
Joy: We continued texting each other after he sent the video. We talked a lot about music. We also talked about family and other school-related stuff.
Then, I got a shocker.
On International Women’s Day, Declan posted my picture on his WhatsApp status along with his mum and sisters, whom he was also celebrating.
How did you feel about that, Joy?
Joy: I was over the moon. I’d snooped through his Facebook profile and developed a crush on him. So, when I saw my picture on his status, I was genuinely happy.
Declan: I posted a few other girls on my WhatsApp that day, too. But yes, I posted Joy’s picture because I was attracted to her. I’d seen her around school and liked what I saw.
So, what happened next?
Joy: We planned to meet.
On the day we agreed, I got to the meeting point on time. However, I got there, and Declan was nowhere to be found. I waited about twenty minutes, before I left for other important school business. I was really angry because I’d wasted my time and spent an unnecessary ₦50 on campus shuttle.
In my head, I also felt that I should have been the one who kept him waiting and not the other way around.
Declan: I wasn’t intentionally late, though. I had some school errands to sort, or I probably overslept. Either way, I could tell she was really pissed when I eventually showed up at our meeting point.
I apologised for my lateness, but she wasn’t having it. Two of her coursemates also showed up around that time, and she told them what happened. I couldn’t understand why she was so upset, especially after I’d apologised.
But I didn’t let her deter me; I continued apologising. It was the first time we met face-to-face, and I’d made a bad first impression.
Right
Joy: I eventually accepted his apology because it seemed genuine — but then he did something else.
While we were together, he bought biscuits and offered me some, which I gladly accepted. I don’t like sharing, but I felt like returning the favour. So, after buying a bottle of Coke, I offered him a sip. But instead of using a different part of the straw, he tried to drink from the exact spot I’d used.
Declan: She refused, insisting that sipping from the same spot was like kissing. I thought it was hilarious, but it was the most memorable part of our first meeting.
Afterwards, we headed to class together and continued to do so as we became friends.
What were the early days of your friendship like?
Joy: Declan was a lot of fun, and we had great banter. On our way to class, we’d share his earpiece and listen to Post Malone and Juice WRLD.
We started spending more and more time together, and I grew so comfortable around him that I could tell him anything. We were in a WhatsApp group with a few friends who jokingly called us “the couple”.
At the time, I was dating someone I didn’t really like, and I often vented to Declan about him. But at some point, Declan started developing feelings for me, too.
Declan: Exactly as she said. We were close in those early days — best friends, even. But before I worked up the courage to tell her how I felt, I found out she was dating someone much older — he was 23 and she was 17. I wasn’t comfortable with the age gap, but I kept my opinions to myself.
As time passed and our friendship deepened, my feelings for Joy grew stronger. I eventually told her how I felt three months after we met, but she turned me down. Her reason? We were in the same department, and she wasn’t comfortable dating a classmate. According to her, we were better off as friends. I respected her decision until we started getting intimate.
Wait, what?
Declan: It started one evening when she came to my place after a long day at school. We were in bed together, and we kissed. We didn’t plan it; it just happened.
Joy: It wasn’t just a one-time thing. We started sneaking to his hostel to kiss, and I won’t lie, I enjoyed every moment. But the guilt started creeping in; I was still with my boyfriend, and the worst part? He had warned me about Declan when I first mentioned him. I promised to cut Declan off, but I didn’t.
Eventually, a minor argument about school related stuff between Declan and I escalated into a big fight, and it finally put an end to everything.
Declan: We didn’t speak for almost a month, the longest we’d gone without talking. During that period, I started dating another girl I’d been eyeing while the situationship with Joy was going on.
So, how did you resolve your issues?
Joy: Some mutual friends intervened. They made us share biscuits as communion and rekindling of our friendship.
Declan: I remember being led into a room in our department, completely unaware that Joy was inside. But the moment I saw her, I knew I was happy to be there. After talking things through, we shared a quick peck and made up.
We didn’t return to sneaking around after that. By then, I was already seeing someone else, and we both agreed that our relationship was better off platonic.
I’m curious. How did you feel about his relationship, Joy?
Joy: We weren’t speaking when it started, but I found out from mutual friends. There was an intense wave of jealousy; I wasn’t happy for him, so I was more than excited when they broke up about five months later.
Considering your relationship’s many ups and downs, how did things progress over the years?
Joy: I broke up with my boyfriend in 2020 after finding out he was cheating. I got into another relationship in 2022, but it crashed a year later. Through it all, Declan and I stayed friends, and our bond only got stronger. He was there for me during both breakups; we studied and went to classes side by side. I was just grateful to always have him around.
Declan: I remained single after my last relationship ended. I wanted to focus on myself — on my friendship with Joy. As she said, we grew closer. Even though we’d both agreed to keep things platonic, we crossed the line a few times. I was fine with what we had.
I’m curious. Did you still have feelings for Declan during this period, Joy?
Joy: Definitely. The feelings were still there, and I knew he felt the same way about me. The timing was just never right. Whenever he made his move, I was with someone else. When I made a move, he’d claim he was on a “self-discovery” journey.
For example, in January 2024, I asked Declan out and he turned down my request. It really broke my heart.
I’m sorry
Joy: When we finally talked about it, he said he hadn’t realised I was serious. I respected his decision not to make things official, but by then, I was already exhausted from always making the first move. Throughout our years of knowing each other, I was the one who initiated everything — including being the first to break the silence whenever he withdrew without explanation.
Declan: I don’t completely agree with Joy. There was always a balance between us because I had strong feelings for her and acted on them. But as she said, timing was always an issue.
When she asked me out in January, I was in the middle of relocating to another state, and I didn’t think starting a relationship was the best decision.
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So, it’s been over a year since you turned down Joy’s proposal. Has anything changed?
Declan: Things feel different now. We’re still drawn to each other and love spending time together, and we’re being more intentional about what we want this time.
Joy: Declan moved back to town in November 2024, but I had already accepted that we’d probably just remain friends. Also, he got into another relationship earlier in 2024, which I wasn’t a fan of. I could tell he was more into her than she was into him, so I won’t lie, I was relieved when it ended December last year.
The timing finally feels right, and we’ve been having conversations about giving a relationship a real shot. But there’s also a church issue.
What church issue?
Declan: We’re both Catholics, but we don’t see eye to eye on certain things. I don’t want us to get together and break up over our differences.
Joy: Long and short of it is that he fully believes in the Church’s teachings on contraception. If we get married, he wouldn’t want us to use any form of birth control because preventing childbirth is considered a sin.
Wait. But didn’t you practice safe sex in the past?
Joy: It’s like knowing God frowns against certain things but still doing them regardless.
Declan: We weren’t supposed to be intimate or use protection, but we did. Now that we’re thinking about our long-term future, we want to do things differently. I’m a staunch Catholic and even though some of the teachings are somewhat difficult to adhere to, I can’t cherry-pick what I’ll stand for.
We’ve already taken the first step by halting every form of sexual relationship between us. She’s tried to initiate sex a couple of times, and I fell for it, but now we’ve stopped all forms of extreme intimacy.
How do you feel about this, Joy?
Joy: I thought he wasn’t serious at first and assumed I’d change his mind when we became official. But now that I know he strongly feels about it, I’m open to walking the same walk. After all, I’m also a practicing Catholic.
Is Declan aware?
Joy: Well, not until this moment. Over time, I’ve realised that I often get swayed in the direction my romantic partners want me to go, and I didn’t want the same case to play out with Declan. However, I’ve had time to think things through and being a Catholic makes it easier to go with him.
I also think it’s important to commit to ourselves this time. We’ve always been super close, and everyone I dated always had something to say about our closeness. If we try and it fails, at least we’d be able to say we gave it a real shot.
Are you willing to make things official, Declan?
Declan: It’s something to think about. I don’t want us to ever stop being in each other’s lives. I fear if we date, and things go wrong, it’ll be over for us. But I’d definitely love for us to work out.
Neat. What would you say is the best thing about being with each other?
Declan: Joy is amazing. She’s beautiful, and I like that she’s smarter than I am.
Joy: I like the way Declan makes me feel. My insecurities disappear when I’m with him. He’s my biggest cheerleader and knows how to comfort me when life gets hard. He cares deeply about me, and I’ve never been in doubt.
Sweet. How would you rate your love life on a scale of 1-10?
Declan: Joy is a 10 in my books, but I’ll give us 8.5. It could be more, but love takes time.
Joy: I’d say a 7. Our journey hasn’t been perfect, but I’m happy to have him by my side. I also think what we have creates a foundation for a healthy relationship.
If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this form.
We’re finally in the month of love and lovers! Valentine’s Day falls on a Friday this year, so what better way to celebrate than to book a romantic dinner reservation for just you and your lover?
We’ve asked couples what packages they are looking forward to, and we have ten lovely dinner options for lovers on a budget who want to make the most of the weekend of love.
Tucked in the La Cour Hotel in Ikoyi, Lagos, Zoe’s bistro promises a romantic candlelit table and a three-course gourmet dinner with complimentary wine, music and gifts.
Contact: +2349120147745
La Chaumiere
Credit: @lachaumiere.lagos
Cost: ₦100,000
Location: 1384 Tiamiyu Savage, V. I, Lagos.
Asake* is looking forward to a romantic dinner with her boyfriend at La Chaumiere. They’re offering a romantic dinner with a set menu along with live saxophone music to accompany the mood.
Contact: 09151340000
Indigo Bar
Credit: @Indigolagosng
Cost: ₦40,000 to ₦100,000
Location: 242B, Muri Okunola Street, VI, Lagos.
Daniel* is excited to take his babe to the Indigo Bar for a budget-friendly Valentine’s dinner experience. The restaurant promises different Valentine packages at different ranges, so you can pick whatever suits your budget.
If you want to spend your Valentine’s in Lekki, Vintano Hotel has a very affordable couples buffet package that comes with unlimited water.Alternatively, you can get an intimate dining experience that comes with a four-course meal, a bottle of wine and some chocolates to delight your babe.
Contact: 08023579600, 08167428562
The Safron rooftop
Credit: @Safronrooftoplagos
Cost: ₦35,000
Location: 57 Joel Ogunnaike St, Ikeja GRA, Lagos
The Safron Rooftop Valentine’s buffet is a great way to celebrate with the love of your life while keeping your budget demure. They have a lot of delicious options on the buffet menu so you and the love of your life will be spoiled for choice.
Contact: +2439066498862
The SIG
Credit: @thesiglagos
Cost: ₦90,000
Location: 7/9 Molade Okoya Thomas Street, Off Ajose Adeogun, VI, Lagos
The SIG’s warm ambience and gorgeous interior decor are sure to set the mood for your perfect Valentine’s dinner. The SIG has promised a night full of fun, laughter, games and prizes for each couple.
Contact: +2348164025306, +2348033075627
Bon Appetit
Credit: @bon_appetite_lagos
Cost: ₦100,000
Location: 1384 Tiamiyu Savage, V.I, Lagos
Bon Appetit promises a Valentine’s dinner to remember. The cost will cover a set menu, and while you eat, you’ll be serenaded by a talented saxophonist.
Contact: 09151350000
Romantic Valentine’s Day Dinners in Abuja
Grand Pela Hotel
Credit: @grandpelahotels
Cost: ₦55,000
Location: Plot 649, Cadastral Zone B02, Durumi Area 1, Abuja
Grand Pela Hotel will treat you and your bae to a romantic candlelit dinner with live saxophone music to turn those romantic vibes to the max. You have to make a reservation in advance, but it’s well worth it!
Contact: 08176025992
Kebabs & Kurries
Credit: @kebabs.kurries.abuja
Cost: ₦50,000
Location: 22 Ajesa Street, Off Monrovia Street, Wuse II, Abuja.
Can’t make it for Valentine’s dinner? Grab your babe for a romantic late lunch at Kebabs & Kurries. The restaurant is offering a Valentine’s package that covers good music, a glass of wine and a platter of food of your choosing.
Contact: 09090999993
Tastia Restaurant
Credit: @Tastiarestaurant_Nigeria
Cost: ₦50,000
Location: Danjam Plaza, 1st Avenue, Gwarinpa
The Tastia Restaurant in Gwarimpa, Abuja is offering a whole evening of fun. The package includes a three-course meal, a movie screening, unlimited cocktails, and a bouquet.
Contact: 09164135773
Don’t go to your Valentine’s date empty-handed, we’ve compiled a list of Valentine’s gift ideas you can choose from to make your celebration an even more memorable one.
