• After a credit alert, there’s no better way to brighten a Nigerian’s night than with a thoughtful good night message to end their day. Whether sweet and flirty, funny, or motivational, good night messages remind your loved ones that they’re on your mind and can be a simple way to strengthen your bond.

    “I love receiving good night messages,” says Alani, 25. “They’re a nice way of saying, ‘You were on my mind all day,’ and I like that.”

    In this article, we’ve curated over 300 good night messages from real Nigerians, along with a guide to crafting your own and answers to some of the most common questions Nigerians have about sending them. Whether you’re texting a partner, lover, friend, colleague or family member, you’ll find the perfect good night message to close their day right here.

    Romantic Good Night Messages for Your Love

    Best for: Boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, or anyone you love deeply.

    Want to be the kind of partner who makes their significant other feel cherished every day? Thoughtful gestures, like randomly sending a love message during the day or sweet good night message before bed, go a long way in keeping the romance alive and making your partner feel special.

    “I love good night messages,” says Fola, 26. ”It doesn’t matter what the reason is; every time I get one from my man, I can’t stop smiling.”

    Here are some romantic good night messages from real Nigerians to help you end your partner’s day on a perfect note.


    ALSO READ: 150+ Romantic Good Afternoon Messages For Your Love


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    Short and Sweet Romantic Good Night Messages

    Even a quick message can make your partner feel special. These short and sweet good night texts are perfect for staying thoughtful without taking up too much time.

    • Hello, my darling. I know your day has been a long one, but I can’t wait for tomorrow because I’ll get to see you again. Have a good night.
    • As the day comes to an end, I want you to know that I fall asleep with thoughts of you on my mind. Good night, babe.
    • Good night to the person who makes a living through each day worth it. You are the light of my life.
    • Good night, baby. Remember that my love is always with you.
    • I love the sound of your voice, and I would listen to you forever if we didn’t have to go to sleep. Have a great night, babe.
    • Good night, my darling. Every moment I spend with you feels magical, and I can’t wait for tomorrow just to see you again.
    • Good night, baby. I hope your dreams are filled with me and everything that makes you smile.
    • Have a great night, baby. I’ll be up all night missing you.
    • The time difference means nothing to me. Even though it’s still afternoon here, I’m wishing you a good night, my love.
    • Good night, my love. Every moment with you today has been a gift.
    • Though I hate that we’re spending the night apart, I hope you have a restful night. I love you.
    • Good night, my darling. I pray your dreams are full of me.
    • Have a good night, my love. Remember that I love you deeply.
    • Every night without you is torture. I can’t wait to see you again. Sleep tight, and remember that I love you.
    • Good night, my baby. I can’t wait till I’m in your arms again.
    • Good night, my love. All the stars in the sky shine for you.
    • I hope you have a peaceful, stress-free night, baby. I’m always here if you need me.
    • I’m going to bed tonight with a smile on my face because of you. I love you so much. Good night, babe.
    • Every night feels better after seeing you, and tonight is no different. Sweet dreams, my love.
    • You were amazing today, baby. Have a good night. You more than deserve it.
    • Seeing you today made me so happy. I’m too giddy to sleep. Have a good night, babe. I hope I see you again really soon.
    • Good night, my dear. You are my everything, and I wouldn’t trade you for the world.
    • You make me so happy, baby. I can’t wait until we’re together again. Good night, my love.
    • Good night to the most beautiful person to ever walk the earth. I love you.
    • Wishing you a peaceful night filled with pleasant dreams, my love.
    • I know you’ve been stressed, babe. Please try to rest your perfect head. I love you, and good night.
    • Good night, my idolo. I’m sleeping tight, and I know I’ll be dreaming of you.
    • Good night, star boy. Know that you mean the entire world to me.
    • I hope you’re having a great night, baby. I’m going to bed now, but I’ll give you a call as soon as I open my eyes. I love you, and good night.
    • Good night, my babe! I love you more and more with every day that passes.
    • Good night, baby. It would be a much better night if you were here with me, but I’ll wait till I can hold you in my arms again.
    • Good night, sweet one. Remember that I love and care about you so much.
    • Goodnight my Princess. Thanks to your love, I look forward to each new day because its another opportunity to spend time with you. I love you.
    • I wish that I could spend every night in your arms! Until the next time I can hold you, sleep tight and have dreams of us together. I love you.
    • I appreciate everything you do and everything you are. Have a good night, my baby.
    • Good night to the reason for my beating heart. I love you forever.
    • My irawo, the moon looks almost as beautiful as you tonight. Have a wonderful night, baby.
    • Good night, my love. I can’t wait to spend tomorrow with you.
    • I am so happy I get to spend the rest of my life with you. Have a good night, my love. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.
    • Sleep well, my darling. You are one of my greatest joys, and I am so grateful for you.
    • My love, you are my guiding light and I will follow you wherever you want to go. Have sweet dreams, baby.
    • Good night my soul mate. I pray that no matter what, we will always be together. Sleep well, darling.
    • Good night baby mi. All the stars in the sky shine for you. Have an amazing night.
    • Sleep tight baby, don’t let the bed bugs bite. I love you to the moon and back and back to the moon again!
    • Have a restful night my baby. I can’t wait to shower you with all my love the next time we see each other.

    ALSO READ: 120+ Sweet and Thoughtful Good Afternoon Messages for Friends

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    ALSO READ: 200+ Good Morning Messages to Make Your Friend’s Day


    Long and Deep Romantic Good Night Messages

    These heartfelt messages are perfect for expressing your love and making your partner’s night even sweeter.

    • Each day, you surprise and delight me. I am so happy to share this world with you. Have an amazing night’s rest tonight, and I hope I appear in your dreams as you do in mine.
    • Good night, my darling. Remember, you are my greatest treasure. Every moment we spend together is an unquantifiable gift.
    • Thank you for everything you do to keep our love going strong. I pray every single day that nothing ever comes between us. Have an amazing night, my love.
    • The gift of your love makes everything in this life so much better. I feel like there’s nothing I can’t do as long as we are together. Wishing you a night of dreams as lovely as you are.
    • I spent the entire day thinking about you. My thoughts of you keep me going, especially when things are tough. I’m sure my dreams tonight are going to be full of you, too. Good night, baby, and tell me if you dreamt about me when you wake up.
    • Good night to the love of my life, who has made every day shine with happiness. Thank you for changing my life with your beautiful smile and fun spirit.
    • I hate that I’m not with you tonight. Every day we spend apart is so hard for me. I miss you more than I can say. Have an amazing night, babe, and I can’t wait to see you again.
    • You were on my mind all day, baby. I love you so much, and you fill my heart with joy. I can’t wait to spend even more years with you and watch our love grow. Sleep well, my love.
    • Every day we spend together is a gift. I never want you to have a reason to doubt the love we share. I will always be here to remind you of how deeply you are loved. Have an amazing night, my dear.
    • To the one who holds my heart and all my joys, I’m wishing you a good night. Just your smile alone sparks happiness in me like no other. I will love you forever.
    • As the sun sets, I hope you know that my heart belongs to you and only you. It will be the same when the sun comes up again. I love you forever. Good night, babe.
    • My amazing woman, I am so lucky to have you in my life. You bring me so much joy. Even as today ends, I hope you have a wonderful night. I look forward to seeing you this weekend.
    • Our calls last forever, but I never get tired of speaking to you. You are the love of my life, and your voice is my favourite sound. I can’t wait to talk to you again. Good night, baby.
    • Good night, my love. I can’t wait for the many more memories we’ll create together. Every moment we share is so special; may we never get tired of each other.
    • Wishing you a wonderful and restful night as you recover, my darling. I will be with you again very soon. Please be fine for me. I love you.
    • You colour every minute of my life with your spirit. I am so lucky to be the one you trust with your heart, and I do not take it for granted. I wish you sweet dreams and a restful sleep.
    • Good night, my angel. Every day with you feels unreal, like a waking dream. I pray our time together never ends, and each dawn brings us even deeper into this amazing love.
    • Good night, my king. It is my greatest pleasure to be the last person you speak to every night. I want you to know that you are my most precious treasure, and I love you.
    • My darling, you are everything that is good and wonderful. I can’t believe the day will come when we’ll never have to be apart again. Until then, I wish you a good night with wonderful dreams.
    • Good night, baby. This is just a reminder that you are the best decision I have ever made, and I can never regret it. I love you tonight, and I will love you for many nights to come.
    • You are so easy to love, my darling. Everything you do delights me. I pray that this joy never wanes for as long as we live. Have a wonderful night, my baby.
    • I can’t imagine a world without you. You make this place so much better. You make my life fuller and more beautiful, and I will always be grateful for you. Have a restful sleep tonight, baby.
    • I have dreamed about you every day for the last two weeks. I pray that joy permeates your life in the same way you have invaded my waking and sleeping thoughts. Have a great night, baby.
    • Good night to the most wonderful and hard-working king on the planet. It is such a privilege and a joy to be the one who stands beside you. I pray that this happiness between us only grows. Sleep tight, babe.
    • My love for you is greater than the distance between us and can cut through the darkness of any night. You bring me more happiness than anyone in the world. Even though I’m not there, I wish you the most peaceful night.
    • I miss you so much, my love. I truly can’t wait to be in your arms again. I hope you have an amazing night’s rest. Know that you’re always on my mind, and I adore you.
    • Since you travelled, food has only tasted half as sweet. Everything feels incomplete without you. I can’t wait until you come back home. Sleep well, my love. Have you been missing me too?
    • When I saw you today, it felt like my heart was soaring into the sky like an airplane. I love making memories with you. Rest up tonight because we’re going to do it all over again tomorrow!
    • The love we have is so special; it feels tailor-made for us. I wish I were in your arms tonight instead of in this cold bed, but I look forward to the day when that will change forever. I will always love you. Have a good night, baby.
    • If I could change the world so that we could spend every night together, I would do it in a heartbeat. You make everything make sense, and I can’t do without you. As you sleep tonight, dream with the assurance that my heart belongs to you.
    • Only one more sleep before we see each other again! I’ve missed you so much that I’m too excited to sleep. You are the absolute love of my life, and I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. Don’t let the bed bugs bite, star girl.
    • It has been seven whole nights since we snuggled together to sleep. I must admit, I haven’t been sleeping well. I can’t wait to have you in my arms again. Until then, please have a restful night’s sleep. I will be with you again before you know it.
    • My love, my darling, you mean so much to me. I hope that for every night we’re apart, your dreams are filled with all the love and joy you bring into my life. Sleep well, baby.
    • You are the reason I believe in love and have high hopes for the future. As you rest, know that your heart is safe with me in every way you could possibly want. May your dreams bring you the same kind of joy you bring me.
    • I can’t get enough of your laughter. Even your sleepy giggles make me so happy. I’m glad I get to be the reason for your happiness, no matter how brief. I wish you a lovely, restful night, baby.
    • My heart, you are my safe place, my comfort, and my home. No matter where life takes us, I’ll always find my way back to you. May your dreams be filled with happiness, just as you’ve filled my life with love. Sleep well, my love.
    • As I close my eyes tonight, I keep thinking about how much you mean to me. You’ve shown me what it means to love and be loved, and I’ll never take that for granted. May you have sweet dreams tonight. Rest well, my darling.
    • I can’t count how many times you crossed my mind today. All I know is that I have never felt so happy in love. You make everything so wonderful, and I feel incredibly lucky to have you. Have an amazing night, baby. Sleep well.
    • Just the thought of you fills my heart with warmth and peace. As you close your eyes, I hope you have the most wonderful and pleasant dreams because you deserve them. Sleep well, my love, and wake up feeling refreshed and cherished.
    • Even though we’re miles apart, my heart is always with you. I imagine holding you close as you drift off to sleep, whispering how much I love you. Sweet dreams, my baby.
    • It has been so hard being away from you but the thought of holding you in my arms again keeps me going. Good night, my love, my dreams are full of your face.
    • There’s nothing in the world I wouldn’t do if it would mean your happiness. I love you forever and a day. Sleep tight my love.
    • Every day I count my blessings, I count you four times because yo have changed my life completely since you came into it. I can’t wait to see you soon. Good night, my darling.
    • I wish I knew how to write poetry so I can write long odes dedicated to your beauty and grace. I hope you dream sweet dreams of us, good night sweetie.
    • I’ve been replaying our date today over and over again in my head. You’re always on my mind and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love you to pieces. Good night, darling.

    ALSO READ: 100 Sweet Names To Call Your Girlfriend That’ll Make Her Blush


    Playful and Flirty Good Night Messages

    Playfully tease your partner and keep the spark alive with these flirty good night messages that will leave them excited to see you again.

    • Sleep well tonight, baby. If you find it hard to sleep, just think of me, or better yet, call me. I’ll always be available for you, especially for late-night sweet talk.
    • Good night, my beautiful baby. Don’t panic if you see me in your dreams. I’m just there to steal a kiss and maybe cause small trouble.
    • I was going to send you a cheesy good night message, but then I thought, wouldn’t you prefer a picture of my ridiculously good-looking face instead? Also, I miss you. Dream of me, baby.
    • If you plan to appear in my dream again tonight, you better start paying rent for this space you take up in my head. Sleep tight, love.
    • Good night, babe. I wanted to wish you dreams as sweet as you are, but honestly, I don’t think that level of sweetness exists. You’re in a league of your own.
    • Hey babe, if your ears were itching today, it’s because I spent way too much time hyping you up to anyone who would listen. Have a wonderful night, superstar.
    • I saw a tweet today from a guy saying he was the luckiest man alive, and I was genuinely confused. How? When I am still the love of your life? Abeg, he doesn’t know real luck. I love you to the moon and back, baby girl. Have an amazing night.
    • Good night, baby boy. I hope you’re thinking about me as much as I’m thinking about you. If not, you need to fix up immediately. Sleep tight.
    • I can’t get enough of your scent, babe, which is why I’m wearing your shirt to bed again. Don’t even ask me to return it when you come back. Good night, baby.
    • The moon isn’t out tonight because it’s jealous of how much I love you. Honestly, I don’t blame it. Let me take over your dreams tonight, babe.
    • Good night, my love. Sleep well, but don’t forget, even the stars are jealous of how much you shine. Try not to give them low self-esteem.
    • If I tried to show you how much I love you, people would call police. And you know what? I’d be happy to be locked up in that guardroom with you. Sleep well, baby, and make sure I star in your dreams.
    • I want my love and my arms to wrap around you like a blanket while you sleep tonight. And by that, I mean I’m officially applying to be your personal human duvet. Have a great night.
    • Good night, my precious baby. Just know I’m lying here, counting down the hours until I can kiss you again. No pressure, but you’re making time move way too slowly.
    • Good night, my darling. I wish I were whispering this into your ear instead of texting it, but I’ll take what I can get. Just know that when we’re finally together, you’re not getting rid of me.
    • My safe space, my comfort, my darling. I miss your touch so much. If I could teleport straight into your arms, I would. Honestly, why has someone not invented that already? Good night, love.
    • Hello, my baby. Just a reminder that you are always the last thing I think about before I fall asleep. It’s honestly getting a little out of hand. Have the best dreams tonight.
    • If I were granted three wishes, I’d use all three to have you in my arms right now. Not even trying to be dramatic. Missing you like crazy tonight.
    • They asked me to name the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. I said your name before they even finished the question. It’s actually unfair how easy you make it. Sleep well, my love.
    • Good night, baby. If your bed isn’t treating you right, I’m officially offering my services as a much more fun replacement.
    • You’re the reason I believe in magic. Every time I’m with you, I feel like I’m under a spell, and I never want to break it. Good night, baby.
    • If I could change anything about the world, it would be the fact that you aren’t in my bed right now. This is a problem, and I’d like it solved ASAP. Dream of me while you sleep.
    • There is no one whose kiss I crave more than yours. A goodnight kiss from you would fix me right up. Guess I’ll just have to dream about it. Sweet dreams, darling.
    • Hey love, don’t fall asleep yet. I’m sending you a thousand virtual kisses first so you have the sweetest dreams possible. Goodnight, baby.
    • You, me, and a thick duvet would make the perfect goodnight plan. Too bad we’re missing a key element: you in my arms. Sweet dreams, love.
    • I know it’s bedtime, but I just wanted to remind you that you are the most beautiful and amazing person ever. Okay, now you can sleep. Goodnight, my love.
    • You’re going to bed without me? Excuse me? How rude. Sleep well, my darling, but know that I’m judging you for this.
    • If you dream about me tonight, make sure I look incredibly hot. If not, you’re going to have to redo the dream. Goodnight, baby.
    • I believe in love at numerous sights because every time I see you, I fall in love all over again. My heart literally resets itself. Dream of me tonight, darling.
    • Good night, my love. You are the reason I look forward to every tomorrow. That, and the fact that I get to annoy you for the rest of your life. Sweet dreams, my forever favourite.
    • I can’t count how many times I’ve thought of you tonight. All I know is that it’s been too much, and now I’m officially blaming you for my lack of sleep. But I love you anyway. Good night.

    ALSO READ: Birthday Wishes for Nigerians: How to Write the Perfect One & 200 Real Messages


    Funny Good Night Messages for Friends and Family

    Best for: Friends, siblings, and anyone who enjoys a good laugh before bed.

    In Nigeria, if there’s one thing we love, it’s a good laugh. Sometimes, the pressures of the day can get too much, and a hilarious good night message from someone you care about can be just what you need to lighten the mood. 

    Toluwani, 23, says, “My guys are so funny. Every time I have a really bad day, they send me the funniest messages that make me laugh so hard that by the time I’m ready for bed, whatever was upsetting me would have become a distant memory.”

    Here are some messages you can use to crack up your friends or anyone who likes a good joke before they turn in for the night.

    Funny and Lighthearted Good Night Messages

    Funny, playful and lighthearted, here are some good night messages to send to your besties, close pals and siblings. Don’t crack their ribs too much o.

    • Good night, bro. May your pillow always be cool on both sides.
    • Sleep tight, b. May your blanket never fall while you’re sleeping.
    • Wishing you a refreshing night’s rest. May your own snoring never wake you up.
    • Sweet dreams, my guy. May the mosquitoes always miss their way when looking for your room.
    • Good night! May all your bet tickets click in your dreams, o.
    • Keep your head up, friend. There’s always tomorrow, we go again!
    • Goodnight, buddy. May God not let your dreams be as confusing as your text messages. 
    • Good night to my best guy. May your traffic-free work route dreams come true.
    • Sleep well, bestie! Old age requires lots and lots of rest.
    • Sleep well! But if you wake up and forget everything, just assume you had the best dream ever. 
    • Have a good night’s sleep, bro. Man U is not winning the league; just accept it and sleep.
    • Sleep tight, friend. If your dreams don’t make sense, don’t worry; even real life doesn’t make sense.
    • Good night, bro. If you dream of being late to work, don’t sweat it, na who they employ dey late.
    • Good night, bestie! If you wake up feeling tired, welcome to adulthood.
    • Your frontal lobe is fully developed now, so don’t be surprised if you start dreaming of rent and bills. Good night and welcome to adulthood.
    • Good night! See the time you’re going to bed. May God help you with the shalaye you’ll give them at work tomorrow. 
    • Good night bro. I had a dream last night that you were in. Next time you try that, I’m charging an entrance fee.
    • Sweet dreams. May your bed be as loyal as I am, always there when you need comfort. 
    • Sleep tight. If you wake up looking good, it’s the illusion of sleep. Your real face will soon come out. 
    • Goodnight, sleepyhead. Don’t let your dreams be as messy as your work desk.
    • Good night my friend, if the bed bugs bite, na me send them.
    • Good night bro! Tomorrow is another day to pretend like we know how to adult.
    •  Sleep tight ,G. May your dreams be as wild as your browser search history!
    • Good night bro! I’m glad I’m not sleeping at home so I don’t have to hear you snore all night.
    • Good night bestie, may you never forget to plug in your phone before you sleep.
    • Sleep well babe. May they never table your matter on the family WhatsApp group.

    ALSO READ: 200+ Good Evening Messages to Make Your Friend’s Day


    Teasing and Playful Good Night Messages

    Send a message that makes them laugh at the end of their day with any of these options.

    • Sleep tight, my guy. Don’t let the mosquitoes bite you too much.
    • Good night! Don’t be mad if you wake up looking rough. Beauty sleep is a scam.
    • Good night and sweet dreams, bro. If you dream of me tonight, abeg, make me rich in your imagination so you can collect the ₦5,000 I owe you there.
    • Sleep tight. May your dreams be better than the Wi-Fi at your house.
    • Sleep well, my g. Please try to dream about the next crypto coin that will blow. I want to buy a Rolls-Royce.
    • Guy, sleep tight. Don’t let the bed bugs bite. If they do, abeg, just buy a new mattress. This thing you’re living is not life.
    • Babe, have a good night. If mosquitoes bite you, charge them rent. Passive income don set.
    • Good night and sweet dreams, lads. Please, let’s dream of how we’ll make me a millionaire overnight. I need to ball.
    • Good night, bestie. I know you’re trying to sleep early so I won’t text you nonsense again tonight, but first thing tomorrow morning, na that same nonsense I go still send you.
    • Good night. May God help your beauty sleep actually work this time.
    • Sleep well o. If you like, don’t read for the test tomorrow. No explanations or excuses for you.
    • Good night, guys. Let’s wake up tomorrow refreshed. And if you’re not refreshed, pretend, abeg. I no get time for rubbish. One love. 
    • Good night, ore. Don’t forget, it’s not the worst day of your life. It’s just the worst day so far.
    • Good night, bro. If they give you food in your dream, keep some for me o.
    • Good night, star boy. Please dream of how you can blow so I can famz you as my rich friend.
    • Sleep well. If you dream about me, I expect a five-star review. Also, I charge appearance fees.
    • Good night, my lil weirdo. Just don’t let your dreams be as wild as whatever that outfit you wore last week was.
    • Have a great night’s rest, sis. It’s not easy to be both lazy and annoying, but you do it so well I can’t help but love you.
    • Sleep well. But if you see me in your dreams, just know I’m probably there to annoy you.
    • Sleep tight, baby boy. May your dreams not shatter the way your ex broke your heart.

    ALSO READ: 200+ Romantic Good Evening Messages For The One You Love


    Motivational and Deep Good Night Messages

    Best for: Friends, colleagues, or anyone who needs encouragement before they sleep.

    Sometimes, we need a pick-me-up message to ginger us for a big day ahead of us. That’s where these motivational good morning or good night messages come in! They can help give your friend or colleague the necessary motivation to face a big challenge or important event.

    Morenike, 29, says,” Even though I’ve worked in sales for seven years, I’m still nervous the day before a big pitch. The messages I get the night before, encouraging me, always help me remember I can do the thing!”

    What are you waiting for? Start encouraging your friends and loved ones with these messages:

    Uplifting and Inspirational Good Night Messages

    Ginger and motivate them for the next day with these good night messages.

    • Good night, ore mi. Don’t let the difficulty of the day weigh you down. Remember, joy is coming.
    • Good night, my friend. May you rest well and wake up feeling refreshed and ready to conquer another amazing day at work.
    • No matter how tough today was, remember that tomorrow always brings new opportunities. Sleep well and wake up with hope in your heart. Good night.
    • Sweet dreams, bestie. May your night be as calm as a still lake and your dreams filled with happiness.
    • The night is a reminder that even the longest day must come to an end. Rest well and wake up with renewed strength. Good night, and well done.
    • You are strong, you are loved, and you are enough. Sleep peacefully, knowing that tomorrow is another chance to shine.
    • Good night, dear friend. Let go of today’s worries and embrace tomorrow’s possibilities. Sleep tight, we go again!
    • You’re going to do an amazing job at the presentation tomorrow! The team and I believe in you. Good night, sir.
    • No matter what happened today, know that you are strong and capable. Sleep well, and let tomorrow bring new opportunities.
    • The world can wait. Tonight is for you to rest and recharge. Sleep well, and wake up feeling amazing! Good night.
    • Good night, my friend. I hope you wake up with a heart full of joy and a mind full of possibilities.
    • A restful night brings a productive tomorrow. Close your eyes, relax, and let go of today’s worries. Good night.
    • You are loved, valued, and appreciated. Sleep peacefully, knowing you make the world brighter. Good night.
    • The moon and stars are watching over you, reminding you that you’re never alone. Sleep tight, my dear friend.
    • You’ve done your best today, and that’s enough. Rest now, and let tomorrow bring new adventures. Good night.
    • May your dreams be peaceful and your heart at ease. Sleep well, and wake up ready for a new day. Good night.
    • Life is a journey, and each night is a chance to rest before the next adventure. Sleep well, my friend.
    • A new day is a fresh start. Let go of today and embrace the peace of the night. Sweet dreams.
    • Wishing you a peaceful night’s rest. You’re a hard worker, but rest is just as important so you can recharge. Sleep well.
    • Sleep tight, and don’t dwell on any mistakes from today. Tomorrow is another opportunity to make things right.
    • Showing up every day, even when it’s hard, is the secret to greatness. Sleep tight, hun. We’ll see you tomorrow!

    ALSO READ: 100+ Heartwarming Long Good Night Messages for Her


    Good Night Prayers

    Let them know, you’re keeping them in your prayers with these good night messages.

    • May God bless you and protect you under the shadow of His wings. Good night.
    • There is no need to fear the arrow by day or the pestilence at night because God is with you. Sleep tight. I’m always praying for you.
    • Good night, friend. Be assured that God is watching over you and will protect you.
    • Sleep tight. You are a child of God, and you have nothing to fear. Your tomorrow is secure in Him.
    • Good night, dear friend. May Allah grant you peaceful sleep and bless you with beautiful dreams.
    • Sleep well. Remember, Allah is Al-Muhaymin (The Protector). He will watch over you day and night.
    • Good night. May Allah’s mercy and blessings surround you as you rest.
    • Sweet dreams. Recite Ayatul Kursi before sleeping, and may Allah protect you through the night.
    • Good night. Trust in Allah’s plan and sleep with a heart full of gratitude. He is the Best of Planners.
    • Rest well, my friend. May Allah’s peace fill your heart and home as you sleep tonight.
    • Sweet dreams, friend. God’s love will never leave your side. Rely on Him and place your hope for tomorrow in Him.
    • Good night. Remember, Allah is As-Salaam (The Source of Peace). Rest in His tranquillity tonight.
    • Good night. As you close your eyes, remember that God’s promises never fail. He will protect you and provide for all your needs.
    • Sweet dreams. May the Lord bless you with restful sleep and wake you up refreshed for a new day of His grace.
    • Good night, friend. Cast all your worries on God tonight. He cares for you. Sleep in His peace.
    • Rest well, dear one. God’s love is your blanket, and His Word is your pillow. Find comfort in His promises.
    • Good night. May the Lord’s presence fill your heart and mind as you sleep. You are never alone.
    • Sleep tight. God is working all things for your good, even as you rest. Trust in Him.
    • Good night. May God’s angels guard you through the night and bring you peace in your dreams.
    • Rest well, friend. God’s mercies are new every morning. Wake up to His faithfulness tomorrow.
    • Good night. Let go of today’s troubles and trust in God’s plan for tomorrow. He’s got you covered.
    • “Goodnight! Remember, Allah is with you wherever you are, there is no need to fear.
    • You were on my mind tonight as I prayed. I’m wishing you a sleep filled with divine grace.
    • Wishing you the best night my friend. God’s love follows you everywhere you go.
    • May the grace of the Lord follow you tonight as you sleep. Rest well.
    • Praying that God comforts you tonight and grants you ease. Good night!
    • Good night, dear. There is nothing God can’t do as long as you believe. Wishing you a restful sleep tonight.
    • Good night! Remember that God’s love is forever and His peace follows you wherever you go.
    • Wishing you a restful sleep. Remember you are God’s soldier and he will grant you strength if you only ask for it. Rest up.
    • As we fast, I pray God gives you strength that overflows into tomorrow. Have a great night.
    • As you close your eyes, may God’s love and protection be with you always. Sweet dreams.
    • May your night be filled with God’s presence and your dreams with His promises. Sleep tight. 
    • May the angels of the Lord guard your as you sleep tonight. Wishing you a restful night.
    • May the Lord fill your heart with peace as you rest. Good night and God bless.
    • May your sleep be sweet and your heart be filled with gratitude for God’s blessings.
    • Let us release the worries of today and trust in God’s plan for tomorrow. Sleep well.
    • As you rest, may you feel the warmth of God’s embrace and His endless love for you!
    • With faith, we believe that God has already prepared a beautiful tomorrow for you, so have a great night’s rest. 
    • May the Lord’s presence be your comfort and His promises your peace tonight. Sleep well, friend. 
    • Sleep in peace, for God is your refuge and strength, now and always. Good night.
    • May the grace of God renew your strength as you rest tonight. Sweet dreams.
    • Nighttime is a reminder from God that He renews His mercies every morning. Rest in that promise, good night.
    • As you lay down to sleep, remember: God has you in the palm of His hand, safe and cared for. Rest well! 

    ALSO READ: Good Morning Messages: How To Write the Perfect One & 300 Messages from Nigerians


    Good Night Messages for Family

    Best for: Parents, siblings, and extended family members to show love and appreciation.

    Family bonds are deeply valued in Nigeria, and staying connected is essential. Sending regular good night messages is a simple yet meaningful way to strengthen those ties and show care for loved ones.

    “Ever since I moved abroad in 2020, even if I don’t talk to my parents every day, I make sure to send them a good morning message and a good night message every day,” says Temi, 27. ”It makes me feel connected to them.”

    If you’re feeling stuck, these messages are a great place to get inspiration for your own good night messages to your family. They’re great for family group chats, extended family members, and your favourite siblings and cousins.  

    Affectionate Good Night Messages For Your Family

    Let your family know how much you care about them with these heartfelt messages.

    • Daddy, sleep well. May your night be peaceful and your dreams sweet. Good night, sir.
    • Good night, Daddy. May the Lord watch over you and grant you sound sleep. Tomorrow will be even better than today.
    • Daddy, I hope you rest well tonight. You work so hard for us, and I pray God rewards all your efforts. Sleep tight.
    • Good night, my dear father. May angels guard your sleep and bring you joy in the morning.
    • Sleep peacefully, Daddy. May your dreams be filled with laughter, peace, and the goodness of God. Good night.
    • Good night, Papa. May all your worries fade away, and may tomorrow bring you even more happiness than today. Sleep well, my hero.
    • Sleep well, Daddy. You are our backbone, and we appreciate everything you do for us. May your rest be sweet tonight.
    • Good night, Dad. I pray tomorrow will be far better than today. May you wake up refreshed and strong.
    • Good night, my sweet mother. May the angels surround you and keep you safe till morning. Rest well, my queen.
    • Good night, Mummy. Your love and kindness light up our lives. May God watch over you as you sleep.
    • Sleep peacefully, Mama. May your night be full of rest, and may you wake up energized and refreshed. Good night.
    • Mummy, may God grant you sound sleep like a baby and fresh joy with the new day. Good night, Ma.
    • Good night, little bro. May your dreams be sweet, your bed cozy, and your tomorrow amazing.
    • Sleep well, sis. Don’t let mosquitoes stress you, and don’t forget to charge your phone before you sleep.
    • Oya, go and sleep o! If you wake up before me, don’t disturb me, abeg. Good night, dear.
    • Good night, my wonderful sister. I know you’ll still be pressing your phone, but try and sleep o! May you wake up refreshed for the new day.
    • Good night, dear family. May our home always be filled with love, laughter, and good health. Rest well, everyone.
    • Good night to my favorite cousin. Sleep well o, and may your dreams be stress-free.
    • Good night, my wonderful family. May God watch over all of us and grant us peaceful rest. Sleep well.
    • Sleep tight, dear uncle. May your night be restful, and may you wake up feeling strong and happy. Good night.
    • Good night, my dear family. May our bonds remain strong and our hearts stay full of love. Sleep peacefully.
    • Good night, my sweet Grandma. May angels watch over you and keep you safe till morning. Rest well.

    ALSO READ: 100+ Heartfelt Long Good Morning Messages for Her


    Supportive Good Night Messages for Your Family

    If you know a family member who’s going through a tough time, these messages can show them you have their back.

    • No storm lasts forever, sis. May tonight bring you peace and tomorrow bring renewed hope. Good night, family.
    • God is bigger than any problem we may have. Sleep with faith in your heart. Good night, dear family.
    • Challenges may test us, but they can’t break us. Sleep well, knowing you are stronger than any storm. Good night, baby bro.
    • Tomorrow is a fresh start. Rest well and wake up ready for new blessings. Good night, dear family.
    • May your sleep be restful, your dreams peaceful, and your tomorrow bright. We can overcome any challenge we set our minds and faith to. Good night, my family.
    • God is still writing your story, and the best part is yet to come. Rest well tonight, sis. Sleep tight.
    • No matter how difficult today was, remember that joy comes in the morning. Sleep well, my dear family. Good night.
    • Every new day is a chance to start again. Rest easy and wake up with new energy. Good night, fam.
    • Life’s struggles may be heavy, but your spirit is stronger. Sleep in peace and wake up ready to keep pushing forward. Good night, bro.
    • To my precious family, may tonight’s rest renew your hope and bring you comfort. Good night, and God bless.
    • To my wonderful grandparent, may God grant you deep, refreshing sleep tonight. You are loved. Good night.
    • Aunty, take things one step at a time. You are stronger than you think. Good night.
    • May God’s peace surround you tonight and lift your burdens. Sleep well, dear family. Good night.
    • Cousin, don’t let today’s stress follow you into tomorrow. Let it go and sleep peacefully. Good night.
    • Grandma, I know things have been difficult, but God will see us through. Sleep peacefully tonight. Good night.
    • Cousin mi, your challenges do not define you. Tomorrow is another chance to rise again. Good night, love.
    • Sis, let’s take it one day at a time. May tonight’s rest restore our strength. Good night.
    • No matter how hard today was, you are not alone. Sleep peacefully, dear uncle. Good night.
    • Dear cousin, I know life feels heavy now, but joy is coming. Rest well and trust the process. Good night.
    • I know today wasn’t easy, but tomorrow will be brighter. Sleep well, my dear sibling. Good night.
    • No matter how big the challenge is, you are bigger. Sleep peacefully and wake up ready to fight again. Good night.
    • You are stronger than you think. Don’t let today’s struggles steal tomorrow’s joy. Rest well, my dear sibling.
    • I am always here for you, no matter what. Sleep peacefully, knowing you’re not alone. Good night, hun.

    ALSO READ: 200+ Good Night Messages for a Friend to End Their Day With a Smile


    Professional Good Night Messages 

    Best for: Mentors, bosses, colleagues or anyone you work with.

    While good night messages are often shared with close friends and family, they’re not limited to personal relationships. If you want to build strong professional relationships, thoughtful gestures — like sending a good night message to acknowledge a late work conversation or extend well wishes to your boss — is one way to do it.

    Good Night Messages for Your Colleagues

    Let your colleague know that you care with a simple, thoughtful good night message.

    • Hope you have a restful night and wake up feeling refreshed. Sleep well!
    • Thank you for your exceptional contributions today. Rest well and recharge for another amazing day ahead!
    • Your hard work is appreciated. Wishing you some well-deserved rest. Good night!
    • A good night’s sleep is the best preparation for another great day. Rest well!
    • May your dreams be filled with happiness and your morning with motivation. Good night!
    • You give the team 110% every time, and it’s greatly appreciated. Sleep well!
    • Congrats on meeting your deadline today. Please take some time to relax. Have a good night!
    • May your night be filled with peace and comfort. Sleep tight.
    • Clocking out of work mode. Wishing you a relaxing and refreshing night!
    • Hope you wake up tomorrow feeling energized and ready to take on new challenges! Good night.
    • Remember to rest well so you can bring your best self to work. Good night!
    • After a long day of productivity, you deserve a restful evening. Sleep well!
    • Relax your mind and recharge your energy. Wishing you a peaceful night!
    • Hope the stress of the day didn’t get to you. Please, rest up. Sweet dreams!
    • No deadlines, no emails. Just relax and enjoy your leave. Good night!
    • You’re one step closer to your goals every day. Now take some time to rest. Good night!
    • The best ideas come after a good night’s sleep. Rest well!
    • Take a deep breath and enjoy a peaceful night. You did great today. See you tomorrow!
    • Tomorrow is another opportunity to shine. Get a good night’s rest and be ready for a great day.
    • Wishing you a night of rest and a morning filled with energy and motivation. Good night!
    • Wishing you a calm and peaceful night. Thank you for being such a great coworker!

    Good Night Messages for Your Mentor or Boss

    Show your boss or mentor how much you respect them with a solid good night message.

    • Thank you for your wisdom and guidance today. Wishing you a restful night, sir!
    • May your night be as restful and rewarding as the lessons you share with us. Good night!
    • Your leadership inspires us daily. Hope you get the rest you deserve tonight!
    • Rest well, ma. You are an amazing teacher.
    • You pour so much into others. May tonight bring you the peace and rest you need.
    • Wishing you a night filled with tranquility and a morning full of new inspiration. Thank you so much for today, ma.
    • Your innovative approach to solving problems makes the workplace so much better. Wishing you a restful night.
    • Thank you for your support and guidance. Wishing you a good night’s rest.
    • Your impact is immeasurable. May you have a night filled with well-deserved rest.
    • As you guide us toward success, may you also find time to rest and rejuvenate. Good night!
    • A great leader like you deserves a peaceful and refreshing night. Good night, ma!
    • May your night be as inspiring and fulfilling as the advice you give us every day.
    • Your mentorship shapes so many lives. Wishing you a restful and peaceful night ahead!
    • May your dreams be filled with joy and your rest be deep and refreshing. Good night!
    • Take this time to relax, and I hope you wake up feeling recharged and more motivated!
    • Wishing you a night of serenity and a morning full of new possibilities. Sleep well!
    • Your wisdom is a gift. May your night be as rewarding as the knowledge you share!
    • Have a great night, mentor. I hope your night is peaceful and relaxing.
    • Ending the day with gratitude for your leadership. Wishing you a peaceful night!
    • Hope you have a restful night. Thank you for being an amazing mentor.
    • Good night! Your dedication is inspiring. Take care and rest well.

    READ ALSO: 20 Thoughtful “I Miss You” Messages for Your Long Distance Friends


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    How to Craft the Perfect Good Night Message for a Nigerian

    Writing a heartfelt good night message for her or him from scratch can feel stressful. That’s why we’ve put together this step-by-step guide — not just to make it easier for you, but also to break down the key elements of a great good night message.

    Ready? Let’s jump  in.

    Step 1: Start with a warm greeting: 

    Begin your message with a warm and personal greeting. You can use their name, nickname, or a simple salutation.

    “I like to call my mother by her nickname, IY, when I send her messages.” says Tomiwa, 30. “It’s just something cute we do that sparks joy when we text.”

    Example: 

    “Sleep tight, Ekun! Wishing you a good night’s rest.”

    Step 2: Acknowledge their day 

    Show that you care by referencing their day. You can ask how it went or, if you already know they had a busy one, wish them some well-deserved rest.

    “I like that when my boyfriend sends me good night messages at the end of my day, he remembers the little things about my day — like if I’ve been busy or had an important event at work,” says Laide, 23.

    Example: 

    “Have a good night’s rest, my love. I hope the presentation at work today went smoothly!”

    Step 3: Add encouragement or a blessing

    You should add a prayer, blessing or encouragement to really push your sentiment in the message home.

    “Prayers from my loved ones in my good night messages really warms my heart,’ says Ayo, 26. “I think it shows they have me in mind.”

    Example: 

    “Sleep tight, Sade! May the protection of the Lord follow you tonight and make you feel renewed in the morning.”

    Step 4: (Optional) Add humour if appropriate

    If you’re texting a close friend, cousin, or sibling, adding a lighthearted joke could make your message more fun. But only do it when appropriate. 

    Example: 

    “Sleep tight, bro, and if the mosquitoes come to bite, it’s because your blood is sweet. 😂”

    Step 5: Close with warmth 

    You can close out your message with a warm greeting or salutation. This concludes your message warmly and is key to maintaining politeness, especially when sending this to older Nigerians.

    Example: 

    “Good evening, ma’am. I hope today at the shop went smoothly. I am just checking in on you and wishing you a restful night’s sleep. Good night!”

    A well-crafted good morning message should look like this:

    Hello my love, hope your day went smoothly. I want you to know that I love and cherish you and I’m praying for God to protect you till you’re back in my arms. Sleep tight, darling.

    5 Questions Nigerians Have About Good Night Messages

    1. How long should a good night message be?

    The length of a good night message depends on your relationship with the recipient and their preferences. A romantic partner or close friend may appreciate a longer message as it shows care and thoughtfulness, while a colleague or an older family member might find it unnecessary or tedious.

    2. What should you avoid when sending a good night message?

    Avoid sending a good night message too late, especially to someone you’re not very close to or someone older. Ideally, messages should be sent between 7:00 PM and 9:00 PM, allowing you to reach even early sleepers before they turn in for the night.

    Sending messages beyond this time — particularly to work colleagues, mentors, or acquaintances — can feel intrusive, especially if they have partners who might view it as inappropriate. Be mindful of timing to maintain respect and avoid awkwardness.

    3. Who should you send a good night message to?

    Good night messages aren’t reserved for only romantic partners or close family and friends. You can send them to almost anyone.

    While romantic partners, family, and friends are the most common recipients, it’s also appropriate to send them to colleagues, mentors, older relatives, or acquaintances, particularly if you’ve had a late-evening conversation with them. A polite and timely good night message can be a thoughtful gesture and is often appreciated more than you’d expect.

    4. What makes a good night message special?

    The words you choose matter, but the true value of a good night message comes from the intention behind it. Different people appreciate different things:

    • Older relatives may prefer messages with prayers or blessings.
    • Friends and partners may enjoy a joke, flirty remark, or heartfelt reassurance.
    • Colleagues and mentors might appreciate a message that acknowledges their day and politely wishes them rest.

    For example, Bami, 26, still remembers this message from her girlfriend during her final exams:

    “Rest up, baby. I’ve seen how hard you work, and you don’t need to worry — you’ve got that exam in the bag. I believe in you and your sauce. Good night, my babe.”

    The thoughtfulness behind the message made it special.

    5. Should you send good night messages every day?

    This depends on your relationship with the recipient. Some people send their romantic partners good night messages daily, while others do so only when they haven’t spoken all day. Some regularly message their parents, while others do it occasionally.

    However, sending daily good night messages to acquaintances or colleagues you’re not close to may come across as excessive or overwhelming. The key is to assess your relationship and determine what feels natural. Keep it thoughtful, but don’t overthink it.


    If you enjoyed reading this, you’ll also enjoy: Birthday Wishes: 200+ Messages From Real Nigerians


  • Take me back to the beginning 

    Moyin and I had known each other since secondary school; she was my brother’s friend.  We met for the first time at my brother’s book launch event in 2008, and we hit it off and became best buddies right off the bat.

    What was your friendship with her like?

    Great! We’d be on the phone, exchanging calls and texts all day. We did a lot of the “midnight calls” from back when that was still a thing from 2008 till 2010. We also hung out in person every chance we got.

    Fast forward to 2021, we’d grown a bit older and had started making small, small funds, so we took each other out every now and again. Movies, restaurants, parties, such and such.

    Did you guys ever consider being more than friends?

    Not really. We didn’t date in all 17 years of friendship. There may have been a kiss here and there, but it never led to anything serious. We were happy being good friends. 

    At least that’s what I thought.

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    When did you start noticing there was an issue?

    It was weird because nothing happened. She just seemed to switch up one day.

     We worked out of the same office in Ikoyi for a time, so we saw each other every day. Suddenly, I started to notice some weirdness in our usual banter and regular conversations. She’d snub me or pretend not to notice when I spoke to her. 

    Why do you think she did this?

    Nothing comes to mind at all. About a week after I first noticed this change, I asked her what was wrong. I told her,  “I’m noticing a change in your attitude; what’s going on?” But she said it was nothing and we were cool.

    I asked her the same question at the office end-of-year party. But it was the same response; “we’re cool”. 

    I really didn’t want to go into the new year carrying beef with my best friend of 15 years, but my hands were tied. She didn’t give me much to work with.


    READ ALSO: Sunken Ships: I Went Crazy For Two Months After She Broke My Heart


    Did you try to reach out to her after that? 

    I reached out to her several times in 2023. She’d miss my call and not return it or reply to my texts the next day or two. She eventually agreed to meet for brunch in January of 2024, where we had what I thought was a good reconciliation. She told me she just needed some time away and that was fine with me.

    I tried to visit her, but I found out that she had given me false information during our conversation and had moved to an entirely different place, which rubbed me the wrong way and made me feel like our issues weren’t resolved as she had assured me.

    Where’s your head at right now? Do you think you’d be open to fixing your relationship with her if she tried to reach out? 

    Definitely, I don’t believe the damage is irreparable, but it seems like she’s in a place where she just doesn’t want to reconcile anymore. 

    We have had bouts in the past where we didn’t talk for  a stretch of time.  But we always came back to being best friends again like nothing happened. So I was hoping maybe this is just another one of those cases.

    As much as I’m still hopeful and looking forward to getting back to what we’ve always had, I feel like I’m also now in a place where I’m going to let it go. I’m going to let whatever is going to happen take its shape.


    If you enjoyed reading this, you’ll also enjoy: Sunken Ships: My Friend Tried to Cheat Me, So I Beat Him Up


  • Dating a Nigerian firstborn is not for the weak. You’re not just in a relationship with them — you’re also dating their responsibilities. Between the urgent ₦2k requests from their younger ones, settling family drama, and last-born siblings who refuse to grow up, being their partner is a full-time job with no salary.

    But do you have what it takes to handle the adjacent stress? Or will you tap out and run?

    Take this quiz to find out.


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  • Relationships can be sweet, chaotic, dramatic, or just a complete waste of time. After years of watching people fall in love and embarrass themselves on social media, I’ve concluded that many Nigerian relationships fall into these Nigerian reality show categories.

    So, if your love life were a Nigerian reality show, which one would it be? Let’s find out.

    1. Big Brother Naija: Too much drama, but you can’t leave

    If you’re in a BBNaija-type relationship, it’s everyday fighting, making up, fighting again, then whispering sweet nonsense under the duvet. Both (or more) of you are always updating us on social media,so even against our will, we know everything about your relationship. 

    One minute, you’re threatening to leave; the next, you’re cuddling like nothing happened on your Insta story. Your friends are tired, the audience (a.k.a. your group chat) is exhausted, and honestly? So are you.  But are you going anywhere? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

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    2. Gulder Ultimate Search: Suffering in the name of love

    Your relationship is just one long endurance test.  Only God knows what you’re looking for there because happiness is certainly not inside. You’re constantly fighting for survival, and nothing is ever easy. You’ve been in this relationship for three years but you’re still quoting every couple-coded tweet with “God when?”

    No dates, no romantic gestures, nothing — just you struggling like a contestant looking for who-knows-what in the bush. At this point, are you dating or looking for what is not lost? My sibling in Christ, if it didn’t dey, it didn’t dey.


    READ ALSOMy Boyfriend Pretends I Don’t Exist During Ramadan. It Hurts


    3. Nigerian Idol:  You’re the only one trying

    One person is serenading and belting notes with love and effort, while the other is just there, giving off backup singer with no microphone energy.

    You’re sending sweet messages, planning dates, making sacrifices, reading books — meanwhile, your partner is just coasting through life like someone who bribed the judges. They don’t believe in Valentine’s Day, they don’t like going anywhere you like to go, and they also don’t want you to follow them to the places they like. Do they know something you don’t? Spoiler: This love is not going to the next round.

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    4. The Real Housewives of Lagos:  All about vibes and aesthetics

    You both look so good together — on social media. Matching outfits, luxury dates, and carefully curated soft life content. But behind closed doors? If it’s not one thing, it’s another.

    It’s a full-blown cold war of shade and tension. Deep down, you both know this relationship is just for the aesthetics and will probably end when the season finale drops. When is that? We lie in wait.

    5. Date My Family: You thought you were dating one person, but it’s a package deal

    Are you dating one person or a small village? We can’t tell; your partner’s family and friends are too involved in your relationship.

    If you argue, their mum already knows, and is in your DMs like, “My son, why did you say you’re rooting for Micheal from Love Island?” If you go on a date, their bestie has to come too. At this point, are you dating them or their entire community? But the more, the merrier, I guess.

    No matter what reality show your relationship is cosplaying as, as long as you’re living your truth, there’s no problem. You’re in love and the people (me), are entertained, who could ask for more?


     If you enjoyed reading this, you’ll also enjoy: We Ranked Popular Nigerian Reality TV Shows From Messy AF to Squeaky Clean


  • Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.



    What’s your earliest memory of each other?

    Rachel: It was in November 2020, during a Zoom class in our first year of uni. Our lecturer called him and I found his name interesting. I’d never heard anything like it before. When he also showed up on the screen, he looked so tall and in my head I said “ Perfect. He’s also cute.”

    Daniel: I have a similar memory of Rachel.  During one of those Zoom classes, she answered a question, and I was like “Wow, she sounds so intelligent.” 

    But it wasn’t just that. She had a lovely voice that caught my attention immediately I heard it. However, she hardly turned on her video, so I couldn’t see her face for the entirety of the virtual classes. So, I started thinking of ways to strike a first conversation with her. 

    One day, on the class WhatsApp group chat, I suggested we all drop our Snapchat handles so we could add ourselves in the hopes Rachel would drop hers too. She did, and added me and we started from there.

    What did you start?

    Daniel: Well, we started texting and getting to know each other.

    Rachel: It wasn’t all that eventful. During one of our earliest conversations, he sent me this “50 questions to ask someone” quiz. I found it funny, and I answered what I could. But all that didn’t matter because he didn’t approach me when we finally resumed physical classes in January 2021. I felt like adding him on Snapchat should have been enough green light for him to approach me, but he didn’t. I had to go to him.

    Oh

    Daniel: She still holds that over my head till this day.

    Rachel: I ran into him at the student centre, and I was like “Oh, you couldn’t even say hey?”, and he looked at me crazy, then said “Oh, hey”.

    Daniel: In my defence, I wasn’t paying attention. Plus, she looked different in person so I didn’t recognise her immediately. When I heard her voice, I was like “Who is this person that is “hey-ing”.

    Wild. Any reason why you didn’t approach her considering your interest, Daniel?

    Daniel: To be fair, she disappeared immediately after classes, so it was difficult to get a hold of her.

    Rachel: I don’t dispute that I pulled a disappearing act in the first few days of resumption, but I felt like he could have simply sent a text and asked to see me. 

    Daniel: I’m sorry.

    So, what happened next?

    Rachel: Can you believe he still didn’t say anything to me after our first physical encounter?

    Wait, what?

    Daniel: That’s not how I remember things. The next day, you came to meet me during the first break between classes.

    Rachel: Exactly my point. We started talking because I came to meet you again.

    Seems like you left a lot of the chasing to her, Daniel.

    Daniel: The truth is, I was quite shy back, so making the first attempt didn’t occur to me most of the time. But we kind of hit it off after that day, and we were almost always together during and after classes till we started dating. 

    Rachel: We always had gist about our secondary schools, and we also talked about our families. Also, we gossiped a lot about things we saw and heard in school. It was during this period I got to know that Daniel produced beats, I thought it was cool because he didn’t look like he was into that sort of thing. He also had a really good taste in music. It was just an awesome time together, really. 

    Daniel: I agree. Those days were fun and flirty until a small hiccup with someone I was talking to before I came to school popped up.

    What was this “small hiccup?”

    Daniel: Before I met Rachel, I was talking to someone who was also going to be in our school. Unfortunately, she had to take a gap year. We’d discussed being long distance, but I wasn’t keen — my last relationship was also long distance and it wasn’t a fun experience.  Since we couldn’t be together in the way that I wanted, we decided to stay as friends and see where it goes. However, when I met Rachel and realised I wanted to be her, I let the other person know immediately. I didn’t want to make room for any confusion or lead her on, and she said it was fine. But later, she turned on me and said I was leading her on. 

    Rachel found out about the entire thing because a course mate, who was friends with the girl, told her about Rachel and I. Rachel made it clear she wasn’t interested in fighting over me with anyone, and she withdrew. It took a lot of reassurance to make her see that I only had eyes for her. 

    Was this when you asked her out?

    Daniel: Yes. I asked her out on January 31st, 2021. But she turned me down and said I should ask her again after a while. I had initially planned to on Valentine’s Day — which in retrospect was not a good idea —but I eventually asked again on February 19th.

    Rachel: He said he wanted to take what we had to the next level  when he asked on 31st. For him, that meant becoming his girlfriend. But to me, it meant we were finally exclusively talking. 

    So, how did it go the second time?

    Rachel: It happened on a rooftop at our school at night, and the scenery was extremely gorgeous. I was angry the entire time, and I still don’t know why. But I still said yes when he asked.

    Daniel, you mentioned earlier that you didn’t want to ask on Valentine’s Day. Why’s that?

    Daniel: I thought it would be so romantic to have our anniversary on Valentine’s Day at the time. But I’ve also learned that anniversaries should be their own separate day.

    Fair enough. So, what were the early days of your relationship like?

    Daniel: Those were interesting days. We were deeply in love, laughed a lot and had so many fun activities together. But my goodness, we got into each other’s wrong sides a lot. I wasn’t the most observant boyfriend, and I said lots of silly things. I learnt a lot about what it means to be in a relationship with her.

    Rachel: We were together every single moment that we could be. It was quite a time learning about each other. And like Daniel said, we did fight a lot, but I think our relationship grew with each fight. I had to learn to be very tolerant around him.

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    I’m curious, what sort of “silly things” did you say, Daniel?

    Daniel: Lots of them, really. One time, I hadn’t texted her properly during the day and she complained about it when we met in the evening. I jokingly said “I’m sorry for that. I almost forgot I had a girlfriend” because my parents used to say “You’ve forgotten you have parents abi?” whenever I went a few days without speaking to them. Rachel didn’t like that at all. She didn’t speak to me for the rest of the evening and told me months later that she would have ended the relationship that day if her friends hadn’t talked her out of it. 

    You didn’t think he was just being playful, Rachel?

    Rachel: I didn’t. I thought he wasn’t actually considering my feelings. I’m quite sensitive and he would often word these things in very odd ways that convinced me to consider that he was deliberately trying to hurt me, and he didn’t really think it through.

    How did you move past this?

    Rachel: We sat down to talk about our communication. We needed to find ways to express when we weren’t happy with how something was said. We eventually got the hang of it.

    Nice. How would you say your relationship has progressed in the last four years?

    Daniel: We’ve grown a lot as individuals and as a couple. We’ve both matured, we’ve progressively handled issues and found ways to love each other better over the years. 

    Rachel: We’ve never stopped growing since day one. But iIf anyone had told me we’d still be together, I probably wouldn’t have put much faith in it. Not because we didn’t love each other, but we were both so undecided and immature about a lot of things. We’re much better off now. 

    Daniel: We’ve also had to transition to a long distance couple after two years of being around each other. I relocated in November 2022. I’d been aware of the possibility of moving a few months into my first year in uni, but I debated telling Rachel. Eventually, I concluded it would be better to discuss it as early as possible.

    How did you take this news, Rachel?

    Rachel: I cried the first time he told me in 2021. I cried more when he told me his departure date in 2022, and I cried even more when he left for Canada. It was hard to accept that the person I spent 80% of my time with — my partner and best friend — was now miles away, and I had no idea when I’d see him again. It was awful.

    I imagine it was a difficult moment for you too, Daniel

    Daniel: I didn’t properly process the whole  “You’re not going to see her again for a while” thing till a month or so after I relocated. I was definitely sad about leaving her and at one point,  I told my parents to let me stay back and at least finish uni in Nigeria. I’ll say the whole thing hit me the hardest during Rachel’s graduation. I cried because that was a moment we should have experienced together.

    Curious. Did you ever try to make him stay back, Rachel?

    Rachel: Oh yes! I definitely did. I told him to beg his parents and tell them he’d live in an auntie’s house, since his entire family was relocating. But I didn’t want him to stay either because getting out of Nigeria is a good thing. When Daniel told me he did ask his parents, I was pleasantly shocked. 

    Do you remember what your last day together was like?

    Daniel: It was at my house. We had a send off party and I invited her over.

    Rachel: Yes. I had classes, but I went to his house after I was done for the day. Daniel drove me around his estate and bought me jollof rice — it was a beautiful moment. 

    Sweet. Talk to me about transitioning to a long distance couple.

    Daniel: It was extremely difficult. Keeping “us” going almost didn’t happen because we spoke about it, and weren’t sure if we wanted to do long distance. We ultimately decided to put up with it for a chance at having a life together.

    Rachel needs a lot of attention, and I wasn’t very good at providing that. So we got into lots of fights in the beginning. We almost split up a few times.

    Rachel: The time difference, the lack of closeness, the whole reality of it was depressing. He also wasn’t the most expressive person, so having to learn how to read him by just seeing his face and picking up on voice cues was difficult. Because of his lack of attention, he also made me feel like I was overdoing things and in over my head. 

    For instance, I had laid plans for dates and other virtual activities when he travelled. The first few times were good, but at some point it felt like I was the one constantly initiating or reminding him of these things. I didn’t like feeling like I was forcing him to do them.

    Daniel: We (I mostly) realised that we had to intensify our effort if this was going to work out. Right now, I’d say it’s gotten better and the love we’ve actively built makes it worth it.

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    How did you make it better?

    Daniel: For one, we made a rule to FaceTime everyday. It helps with not being able to spend physical time together. We’ve realised that texting alone doesn’t cut it. On my end, I’ve also learnt to be more mindful about nurturing our relationship.  A huge problem Rachel had with me was how we’d speak about an issue and I’d act right for a few weeks and then slowly taper off. So to her it felt like I was just doing it to keep her quiet, but I really just wasn’t being mindful. I’ve had to work on that, and I’m still trying to get better at it.

    I’ve also learnt to be expressive and talk about issues more. I was guilty of letting things be, but that has never been helpful. Now, we communicate when something’s wrong. And lastly, I’ve had to find ways to make sure holidays or events like Valentine’s Day, birthdays and anniversaries are properly celebrated. This means giving thoughtful gifts and organising activities for the day to do together.

    Rachel: For me, I’ve had to learn to regulate my emotions. While I did have reasons to be upset sometimes I didn’t pass this across the right way and would spazz out terribly. So, I had to work on being calm in my anger, and thinking before speaking. 

    Now, I take deep breaths when I feel myself getting to the verge of erupting or I can tell things are going south. If we’re on a call, I’ll end the call, take some time to breathe and think things through properly. I eventually call him back when I know I’m able to speak calmly. I also journal and write a lot so that has also been an outlet for me.

    Daniel: Something we also decided on was monthly check-ins and documenting them in a doc. The idea of documenting was helpful as we could see the things we both had to work on at a glance.

    Awesome. You mentioned earlier that you had lots of fights. Do you remember the major one?

    Rachel: For his last birthday in March, I made him a video, a heartfelt four-page card, and a few other thoughtful gifts. Fast forward to December—we had a heated argument, and I brought up how hard it was to put everything together. I mentioned how time-consuming it was, especially the card, and he looked confused and asked, “What do you mean?” I was also like, “Wait… you mean you didn’t see it?”

    That’s when he told me he only saw a picture of it, not the actual gift. I told him to check his email again, and that’s when he finally opened the full PDF — nine months later. Looking back, it might seem like a small issue, but we had just gone through a rough patch. It really hurt that something I poured so much effort into had gone unnoticed for that long. At that moment, I felt like I’d had enough and told him, “I don’t think this is working out.”

    Daniel: Yeah, I remember that moment clearly. It wasn’t just about not seeing the gift, it was the fact that we had just talked about me needing to be more attentive. She put so much effort into those gifts, and my lack of attention made it seem like I didn’t appreciate them. It wasn’t intentional, but still, it hurt to realise I had made her feel that way.

    When she said she didn’t think it was working out, my heart dropped. But she didn’t end things, so I knew I had a chance to fix it. 

    How did you do that?

    Daniel: Again, I had to reassure her it was never my intention to hurt her and promised to be better moving forward. I’ve learnt to communicate better.  Rachel is very passionate about the things and people she cares about, and she requires that same energy and effort from others. It’s something I’m trying to get better at every day.

    Rachel: And I think love is the consistency to keep trying even if you’re not 100% everyday, the willingness and commitment to learn and unlearn.

    Right. What would you say the future of this relationship looks like? 

    Daniel: Marriage…hopefully. We’re both striving and working towards having that in our future.

    Rachel: I also plan to start applying for schools so I can do my Master’s and be with him abroad.

    Sounds like a plan. What would you say is the best thing about being with each other?

    Daniel: I like crazy and spontaneous, and she’s definitely that. Besides that, it’s just wonderful to be with someone who complements me well in literally every aspect. She’s funny, loving, intelligent and a lot of, if not all, of our goals and dreams align.

    Rachel: It’s growing together, laughing together, just being myself with him.  I don’t have to pretend to be so proper and so politically correct. He’s also funny, smart and kind. He’s everything I could ever have possibly asked for. He sees me, for who I am and he makes me want to be better.

    Love it. How would you rate your love life on a scale of 1-10?

    Rachel: 8.5. It’s great now, but distance does add a lot of strain. Once that’s gone, we can continue to work for a better relationship.

    Daniel: It’s a 9 and for the same reasons as her. It’s a wonderful relationship but the distance is killing us.


    If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this form.

  • The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.


    How long have you been in your relationship?

    It’ll be a year in April. 

    How did you both meet?

    I met Adeola at a family friend’s wedding. The wedding MC organised a few games during the reception, one of which involved the Aso-Ebi girls bringing a man’s cap within a certain number of minutes.

    Adeola was one of the Aso-Ebi girls and she snatched my cap. When she returned my cap after the game, I joked that she needed to give me her number, and she did.

    After about two weeks of texting, we made plans for a movie date. I’d already toasted her; the date was supposed to be where she’d give me her answer. The date almost didn’t happen sef. Fortunately, it did and we officially started dating.

    Why did the date almost not happen?

    Adeola found out about my son. I intended to tell her about him after the date — I wanted it to be a face-to-face discussion. However, she discovered it two days before the date. My son turned one, and I posted him on my WhatsApp status. I’m not sure how I forgot I’d saved Adeola’s number and that she could see my status. 

    She asked, “Is this your son?” and I had no choice but to say yes. Adeola didn’t reply again even after I begged to explain. It took several calls before she agreed to hear what I had to say. She thought I was one of those married men who pursued single ladies. But I explained the situation with my son’s mum and she understood. 

    What was the situation with your baby’s mum?

    It’s a long story, but the summary is, my son’s mother and I aren’t compatible. We were in a toxic, constantly fighting relationship for years that ended when she got pregnant. Her family wanted us to marry, but I insisted it wasn’t happening. 

    So, we agreed that my ex would raise the child, I’d contribute financially, and I’d see my son a few times a month. That’s as far as our relationship goes, and that’s what I explained to Adeola. She had her doubts at first, but I convinced her to give our relationship a try and she did.

    How’s that going?

    It’s been going pretty well. Adeola is very considerate and hardly asks for money except for when she really needs it. Even then, it’s mostly when she wants to buy clothing bales for her online thrift business and needs quick cash.

    Our few arguments are usually about my son’s mother. Adeola always wants to go with me when I go see my son, but there’s always tension as she and my ex don’t really get along. Once, my ex told me not to bring Adeola to her house anymore, which turned into a big fight between the three of us. 

    Adeola also says my ex is using my son as an excuse to demand money from me. I send my ex a ₦50k allowance every month, and she often calls me for extra money, especially if my son is ill or she needs to buy something for him during festive seasons. I don’t think that’s too much for my child, but Adeola tends to complain about it. She thinks I spend too much on my ex and child.

    How do you manage these complaints?

    I’ve realised it’s best to pretend I’m doing what she says, just to let peace reign. I delete the debit alerts on my phone after I send my ex money so Adeola doesn’t see it and starts complaining. 

    She thinks I only send the monthly allowance. I’m not trying to hide things from her. I understand her concerns, but I don’t have much of a choice. I can’t leave my child to suffer.

    I see. Besides your child’s expenses, what other money conversations do you both have?

    We both hope to japa one day, so many of our conversations are about how to multiply our incomes. Adeola is currently saving ₦30k monthly because she wants to become a mini-importer for decorative flowers and interior decor accessories. She plans to raise ₦700k and should reach that figure in June. My job is to remind her to put money aside every month.

    For me, I’m trying to upskill and find a better-paying job. Adeola bought me a ₦7500 customer success management course in January. I’ve also bought a few other courses like that. We hope to get married by the end of the year or in 2026, so I need to increase my income as soon as possible.

    Subscribe to the Money by Zikoko Newsletter for more stories like this. It’ll only take a minute.

    How do you guys plan and budget for romance stuff in your relationship?

    After removing living expenses and providing for my child, there isn’t much left for romance. That might even be why Adeola complains about how much I give my ex. We hardly go on dates. The most we do is hang out at my place and cook. There’s no money to do anything else. 

    I got Adeola a handwritten card and picture frame for Valentine’s Day, which cost me ₦12k. Then for her birthday in December, I bought her a cake and a wristwatch. I think everything cost me ₦30k. She also bought me a watch for my birthday.

    Do you have a financial safety net?

    Hmm. I don’t. I just pray no emergency comes my way. Building a safety net is hard when so many responsibilities keep pulling at me. On second thought, Adeola is my safety net. I jokingly call her, “Madam CEO”. 

    I know she doesn’t have a set amount of money coming in every month, but I also know she has decent savings and is very financially responsible. The ₦700k she’s trying to raise is different from her regular savings. I’m not sure how much there is, but I know Adeola is the type to always have a plan B so she’s never stranded. If something happens, I can run to her. 

    What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?

    It’d be great to have joint long-term investments and assets like real estate or trust funds to pass on to our children. Life as a Nigerian is already hard, and I want to make sure my children have a soft landing.

    Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.


    *Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.


    NEXT READ: The Corps Member Dating a Mummy’s Boy on a ₦63k/Month Income

    Join 1,000+ Nigerians, finance experts and industry leaders at The Naira Life Conference by Zikoko for a day of real, raw conversations about money and financial freedom. Click here to buy a ticket and secure your spot at the money event of the year, where you’ll get the practical tools to 10x your income, network with the biggest players in your industry, and level up in your career and business.

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  • Ramadan is a sacred month for Muslims — a time of fasting, devotion, and stepping away from anything considered haram. But what happens when that includes a whole relationship?

    In this story, *Teni, 27, shares what it’s like dating *Abdul, 30, a man who loves her fiercely for most of the year but disappears completely during Ramadan. For 30 days, she goes from being his partner to a stranger, waiting for the moment he returns like nothing ever happened.

    As told to Adeyinka

    I met *Abdul in my third year of university. It wasn’t some grand love story. We were in the same study group, and he was always the one explaining concepts better than the lecturers. Over time, we started hanging out outside of class, and soon, our friendship turned into something more.

    Being with Abdul was easy. He was kind, funny, and always knew how to make me feel safe. I had dated other guys before, but this was the first time I felt truly understood. Our differences — especially our religious backgrounds — felt minor compared to everything we had in common.

    At least, that’s what I thought.

    The first Ramadan we spent together, I noticed he was withdrawing. He went from texting all day to one-word replies and eventually complete silence. I tried not to overthink it. Maybe he was just busy, overwhelmed with work and fasting. Then one morning, I sent him a voice note, and it didn’t deliver. I checked my messages; my last three hadn’t been read. I called, and it rang out. By evening, my concern turned into panic. Had something happened?

    I reached out to his best friend, who casually told me, “Oh, Abdul doesn’t really talk to people during Ramadan.”

    I didn’t know how to process that. Didn’t talk to people? Did I suddenly fall into the same category as his classmates, neighbours, and acquaintances? I was his girlfriend.

    When Ramadan ended, he called me like nothing had happened. I wanted to be angry, to demand answers, but before I could get too deep into my feelings, he was already saying he missed me.

    “It’s just something I do every year,” he explained. “I try to stay away from anything that could void my fast, and that includes our relationship.”


    TAKE THE QUIZ: Can You Make 15 Words Out Of “RAMADAN” In 1 Minute?


    I let it go because I loved him.

    The following year, I convinced myself it would be different. Maybe now that we had more history, he wouldn’t completely disappear. Maybe I’d get a text here and there. But when Ramadan began, he shut me out again — no calls, no messages, nothing. I remember sitting with my phone, debating whether I should reach out. Would I be disturbing his spiritual journey? Would he think I was selfish for wanting to hear from him?

    I stayed quiet, hoping he would be the one to reach out first. He never did.

    The worst Ramadan was last year. I had long accepted that he would disappear for the month, but I didn’t expect to run into him at the mall. I was with my cousin when I spotted him. My heart leapt. Here was my boyfriend, the man I loved, after weeks of silence.

    I smiled and started walking towards him, ready to ask him about his fast, his family, or anything else. But right before my eyes, he turned and walked in the opposite direction.

    I felt like I had been slapped.

    That night, I sent him a message saying, “I saw you today.” He didn’t respond.

    [ad]

    When Ramadan ended, he came back with the same old excuse. He said it’s because of how much he cares about me, and the sexual thoughts that consume him whenever we were together.

    I wanted to understand. I really did. I knew he was committed to his faith, and I never wanted to be the person who made him compromise. But I also couldn’t shake the feeling that I was being erased, reduced to something haram that had to be put away like alcohol or worldly pleasures.

    Every year, I tell myself I’ll get used to it. And every year, I don’t.

    Last Friday, we had our last proper time together before Ramadan started. He told me he loved me, and I told him I’d miss him. But as I write this, I know that for the next 30 days, I won’t exist to him. No good morning texts. No phone calls. I’ll have to pretend I don’t know him if I see him somewhere.

    And in April, when he calls again and slides back into my life like nothing happened, I don’t know if I’ll still have the strength to pick up.


    ALSO READ: 7 Young Muslims on Navigating the Demands of Ramadan

  • Tell me how you came across these boys

    This was back in 2017. My neighbour who lived in the building next to mine in Bodija Ibadan was having a terrible fight with her young nephews, Tolu and Abraham.  Around 9:00 pm, she threw them out of her house with their clothes and said she never wanted to see them again. They knocked on my door and asked to spend the night, which I was happy to allow.

    I spoke to them about what happened, and it seemed like a case of mistreatment and disregard. Their mother had passed earlier that year, and their father abandoned them, so they were forced to move in with their mother’s sister, who wasn’t interested in caring for them. She starved them and beat them whenever she had the chance.

    I asked if they had anywhere else to go, and they said no, so I offered to let them live with me. I have a husband who doesn’t make much and three children, so we couldn’t afford to send both of them to school along with our children, but they could have a place to sleep and eat without worrying. That’s how we came to live together.

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    How did this living arrangement affect your family?

    My family wasn’t affected at all. I’ve had extended family members live with us before and we had no issues. It was the same with Tolu and Abraham. They became fast friends with my children, and we were one big family. People saw them as my sons, and I treated them that way. It was hard sometimes because you know how Nigeria is, but we made it work.

    Abraham was sharp as a tack, and he won a scholarship for a course at the University of Ibadan, which paid for 55% of his schooling fees. I was happy to cover the rest of it. Tolu wasn’t as good at school, but he was an apprentice at a barbershop in the neighbourhood. We lived without any major problems until 2021.


    What happened?

    Abraham was the oldest child in the house, so I started having more adult conversations with him. He knew when all the bills got paid and had access to the account we used to pay them. I also trusted him to hold the money I made supplying dry goods to restaurants as a side gig.

    In March 2021, I had gotten approval for a ₦5m bank loan, which  I was going to use to expand my supply business. I excitedly told Abraham about it and how I planned to make him the manager of the business since he was almost done with school. 

    We talked about the trajectory of the business and how we were going to use some of the profit to send Tolu to university. Everything was going well till I got a call from the bank in April.

    After going to the bank several times during the loan application process, I became familiar with a few of the workers. One of them called me and asked why I sent my son to withdraw all of the money I had loaned in cash. He didn’t say it like he suspected any foul play, he wanted to advise that we don’t withdraw all the money because of the danger of thieves who may waylay the boy on his way home.

    I said okay and thanked him. I said he shouldn’t let him withdraw it anymore, and he should tell Abraham to come back home. As soon as the call ended, I called Abraham and asked where he was. He lied and said he was at a supermarket.


    READ ALSO: Sunken Ships: My Sister Is My Biggest Opp, And I’m Cutting Her Off


    Ah.

    I became very suspicious. I went to their room and saw that all of Abraham and Tolu’s clothes, as well as Tolu himself, were gone. I asked one of my children about it, and he said that the boys had been talking about taking a trip to Ghana and had packed boxes earlier in the week. I immediately called the person from the bank and begged him to freeze the account till I got there.

    That was the best decision I could have made because this boy went to another branch and tried to withdraw the money again. I called him over fifty times, but he didn’t pick up. I was so angry. That was the last day I saw either of them.

    Did you ever find out why Abraham tried to steal your money?

    Sort of. A month later, Abraham called with a strange number. He said he wanted to thank me for letting them live with us, but I should have known that he’d want to start his own business and not be under anyone. I was taken aback and told him to never contact me or my family again.

    How did this experience make you feel?

    It was very painful. I really saw those boys as my children and I did what I thought was my best for them. I went through a period where I doubted if I treated them well, but I did what even their families were unwilling to do for them. I don’t think I deserved to be robbed. If he had come to me to ask for support for whatever plans he had, I would have gladly done what I could to get him on his feet.

    It has affected how much I trust people. I find that after my immediate family, I feel everyone is looking for an opportunity to steal from me or harm me. I dislike how paranoid I have become.

    Have you heard from them since then?

    Not directly, but I hear that Tolu is now a yahoo boy while Abraham has started a church on a hilltop in the inner city of Ibadan. I hear they still live together, so I wonder what sort of arrangement they have. I don’t really care, though; my focus now is my family and my supply business.


    If you enjoyed reading this, you’ll also enjoy: Sunken Ships: I Lived With My Best Friend’s Girlfriend, and It Was the Worst Decision Ever


  • Jealousy is a universal emotion — everyone has felt its sting at some point. But when it comes to romance, the feeling tends to cut even deeper.

    If you’re monogamous, it’s easy to assume that polyamorous people have somehow mastered the art of jealousy-free love. After all, they’re out here juggling multiple relationships while you’re still waiting for your Instagram crush from 2018 to finally notice you.

    But the truth is, jealousy doesn’t vanish just because you’re dating more than one person. If anything, it’s like that uninvited guest who crashes the party, hogs all the small chops, and then complains about the playlist.

    Curious about how people in polyamorous relationships handle jealousy, I reached out to a few of them. The responses were eye-opening, not just about managing jealousy in polyamory but also about practical tips anyone can use to keep the green-eyed monster in check.

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    “I explain to them that there is a hierarchy in my life.” – Ben, M, 32

    How do you talk to your partners about jealousy?

    I’ve had a lot of experience with this, especially with partners who were previously only in monogamous relationships. My approach is to have an open discussion about my hierarchy of needs and expectations.

    I explain to them that my platonic friends come first, even before romantic relationships. Then I explain my perspective on romantic relationships, which is that I enter romantic relationships for companionship, not dependency, whether emotional or physical. Most of my emotional needs are met by existing platonic relationships; my romantic relationships are about exploring romantic attraction.

    I also make it clear that companionship, for me, means experiencing romantic love with someone without expecting them to meet all my needs.

    Regardless of whether a relationship is monogamous or polyamorous, each person has a responsibility to clearly communicate their needs and trust that their partner will respect them. It’s my responsibility to ensure my partner’s needs are met within our relationship and to prevent past unhappiness, trauma, or unspoken expectations from bleeding into it. After all, needs that aren’t communicated can’t be met.

    What’s something about navigating jealousy you think everyone should know/practice?
    Jealousy toward another partner can often be reframed by asking a simple question: Is this a want or a need? Do you want this only because someone else is getting it, or is it something essential for your happiness in the relationship? Being honest about the answer almost always takes the edge off jealousy and helps shift the focus to what truly matters.

    “Polyamory takes a lot more emotional bandwidth than mono relationships.” — Sam, M, 31

    How do you talk to your partners about jealousy? 

    I do feel jealous sometimes, but I wouldn’t call myself a jealous person. When jealousy comes up — whether for me or my partners — we acknowledge it, talk through our needs and expectations, and offer plenty of reassurance.

    What’s something about navigating jealousy you think everyone should know/practice? 

    Jealousy is natural in any relationship, especially in polyamory, and it’s something every partner or polycule should expect. What’s not okay is acting on that jealousy by projecting fears or insecurities onto a partner.

    When jealousy comes up, communication is key. Making your partners feel loved, desired, and appreciated helps keep things grounded. If possible, pinpoint exactly what triggered your jealousy and find a healthy way to address it. Polyamory requires more emotional bandwidth than monogamy, so navigating difficult emotions is part of the work that comes with it.

    “I think everyone should know that jealousy is normal and to be expected.” — Nabila, F, 23

    How do you talk to your partners about jealousy?

    I don’t think of myself as a jealous person. Most things that should make me jealous don’t really affect me, and when I do feel jealous, I take time to process it on my own before bringing it up with my partners.

    How I talk about jealousy depends on how serious it is. Sometimes, it’s as simple as saying, “God, I’m so jealous; I wish that was me.” But if it’s something deeper, I sit with it, figure out why I’m feeling that way, and think about what might help. When I do bring it up, my partners usually try to help if they can.

    That said, I only share serious jealousy if there’s something they can actually do about it. If I feel jealous that they live with another partner, for example, what can they really do? In cases like that, I might just mention it in passing so they’re aware, but I don’t dwell on it.

    What’s something about navigating jealousy you think everyone should know/practice?

    Everyone should understand that jealousy is completely normal, even in polyamorous relationships. There’s a common misconception that polyam people don’t experience jealousy, but that’s simply not true.

    What really helps is identifying the source of your jealousy. Sometimes, it has nothing to do with what your partners are doing, and realizing that can change how you approach the situation entirely.

    “Am I really jealous or just upset at a broken promise?” Princess, F, 25


    How do you talk to your partners about jealousy?

    I’m not a jealous person. I don’t think I ever really have been. Jealousy only comes up for me when a partner does something for someone else that they never did for me or when something I considered ours is shared with someone new. 

    For example, if you once told me you’d never go dancing but then take someone dancing on a first date, that would sting. Or if Tuesdays were always our movie nights and suddenly you’re spending Tuesdays with someone else, I’d feel a certain way.

    That said, I see jealousy as just another emotion like happiness, joy, or love, and I approach it that way in my relationships. I ask myself: Why am I jealous? Did my partner contribute to this feeling? Am I really jealous, or just upset about a broken promise? How can my partner reassure me? What can we do to prevent this from happening again?

    From there, we talk it through, process the emotions, and try to apply what we’ve learned to strengthen our relationship.


    READ ALSO: I Relocated and Asked My Mum to Care for My Kids. It Was a Mistake


    What’s something about navigating jealousy you think everyone should know/practice?

    Communication is the most important thing. There’s nothing wrong with feeling jealous — it’s how you handle it that matters. If you don’t talk to your partner about it, they won’t know they’re making you feel that way, and the jealousy can fester into something worse. It can turn into resentment, anger, or even aggression, all of which are unnecessary and avoidable.

    When jealousy comes up, take a step back and interrogate the feeling. Ask yourself why you feel this way, how it started, and when it began. Understanding the root of the emotion makes it easier to express to your partner in a way that leads to a solution.

    Jealousy isn’t exclusive to polyamory. Monogamous people often experience it just as much, if not more. I just wish more people communicated their feelings instead of bottling them up and taking them out on others.

    What To Do When You Feel Jealous

    Accept that jealousy is normal: First of all, remember that jealousy isn’t a flaw or a failure. It’s a natural emotion that will come up at some point in your relationship. The key isn’t avoiding it but learning how to manage it in a way that strengthens your connection.

    Interrogate the feeling: Jealousy doesn’t come out of nowhere. Ask yourself how, why, who, and what is making you feel this way. Being honest with yourself is key so you don’t unconsciously take your emotions out on others.

    A closed mouth is a closed destiny: Talk to your partner(s) about your feelings. An open, honest conversation can clear up misunderstandings and help you work through jealousy in a healthy way.


    If you enjoyed reading this, you’ll also enjoy reading this: Love Life: We Went From an Open Relationship to Polyamory


  • Cheating can feel like a death sentence for a relationship, but for some Nigerians, it’s not the end, it’s just the beginning of a new, often complicated dynamic.

    Whether it’s rebuilding trust, setting new rules, or staying for reasons beyond love, we spoke to seven people about what it really means to move forward after infidelity.

    “I forgave her, but she’ll never have male friends again”

    For *Wale, 32, staying meant regaining control of his relationship. His girlfriend had always reassured him that her male best friend was “like a brother” to her. Then he found out they had been sleeping together.

    “I had two choices: walk away or make sure it never happened again. I love her, so I chose the latter. But I made it clear that if she wanted to prove she was serious about earning my trust back, she had to cut off all her male friends. No unnecessary interactions, no casual texting, nothing. It’s been two years, and she’s kept her promise. Do I still have doubts sometimes? Yes. But at least I know she’s no longer putting herself in situations where it can happen again.”

    “Every time he cheats, I make him invest in something expensive”

    For some people, cheating is a dealbreaker. For *Toke, 29, it’s an opportunity. She knows her partner will never stop cheating, so she’s making sure she benefits from it.

    “The first time I caught him, I was devastated. The second time, I was just mad at myself for thinking it wouldn’t happen again. By the third time, I had a new strategy. If you want to embarrass me, you must pay for it. Literally. So every time he messes up, he has to put money towards something big — my business, property, or even my savings. I don’t know when I’ll leave, but when I do, I’ll be leaving comfortably.”

    “I thought I could handle it, but I couldn’t” 

    Some people think they can forgive until the reality of betrayal sets in. *Uche, 29, opens up about the mistrust that plagued his relationship after an episode of infidelity.

    “When my girlfriend cheated, I told myself that if I truly loved her, I would fight for our relationship. I convinced myself it was just a mistake. But every time she picked up her phone, my stomach turned. Every time she went out, I wondered if she was lying about where she was going. I became someone I didn’t recognise. I was constantly checking her WhatsApp messages, second-guessing every ‘babe, I love you’. I lasted six months before I realised I was just punishing myself. I should have left the first time, and that was what I eventually had to do.”


    TAKE THE QUIZ: This Quiz Knows if You’ll Forgive a Cheating Partner


    “He doesn’t know that I know, and I want to keep it that way” 

    Not everyone confronts their cheating partner. Some choose to stay quiet, but it’s not because they’ve chosen to accept less. *Fola, 24, shares how she plans to deal with the situation.

    “I found out my boyfriend was cheating a year into our relationship, but I never told him. Why? Because I needed time to figure out my next move. He thinks I’m in the dark, but I’m quietly preparing myself for whatever happens next. I’ve doubled my savings and started looking for a new hostel apartment. I’ve also started accommodating other potentials who I turned down before. The day I finally leave, I want it to be on my terms, not as the heartbroken girlfriend begging for respect. Also, I want it to hurt.”

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    “I forgave him because I wasn’t ready to start over”

    Starting over can feel more complicated than staying, and that was the real challenge for *Mariam, 27. She shares:

    “We had been together for five years, and I had already built my life around him. The thought of leaving and starting over exhausted me more than the cheating itself. So I forgave him. Or at least, I’m trying. The thing about cheating is, you can’t un-know it. Even when things feel normal, there’s always that small voice in your head asking, ‘What if he’s doing it again?’ But I made my choice, and now I have to live with it.”

    “We tried an open relationship. It didn’t work” 

    Some people try to balance the betrayal by making new rules. For *Jude, 32, that experiment was short-lived.

    “My fiance cheated, and instead of leaving, we had an honest conversation about why she did it. She admitted she had felt tempted for a while, but because we were in a committed relationship, she didn’t know how to express it. So, we decided to try an open relationship. The idea was that we could both explore, but always come home to each other. Sounds great in theory, right? Well, three months in, I realised I hated it. I couldn’t stomach the thought of her with someone else, even though she had already cheated. I thought I was being progressive, but I was just setting myself up for more heartbreak. We had to come to a resolution that involved walking away.”

    “We built something better after therapy” 

    While some people stay out of fear, obligation, or convenience, others like *Jide, 34, choose to fight for a healthier relationship. 

    “My wife cheated three years into our marriage. At first, I wanted nothing to do with her. But after weeks of talking, crying, and asking every ‘why’ possible, I realised I still wanted to be with her. We started therapy, and it helped us rebuild from the ground up. It wasn’t easy, but I can honestly say our marriage is stronger now. We communicate better, we set boundaries, and we’re more intentional about our love. Staying isn’t for everyone, but I’m glad I did.”

    Being cheated on is one thing; moving forward is another. Whether you stay, get even, or leave, healing takes time. Here’s a useful guide on healing a broken heart that can help you move on.


    READ THIS NEXT: I Cheated With Him, but I Won’t Cheat on Him