* Jeffrey, 29, always imagined marriage as a true partnership where both people shared responsibilities across the board. But when job loss, pressure and resentment entered the chat, he wondered if he’d rushed into marriage before building the kind of financial stability he thought it required.
This is a look into Jeffrey’s marriage diary.
I knew I didn’t want to be the man carrying a marriage alone
Before marriage, I had a very clear idea of what I wanted it to look like. For me, it had to be a full partnership emotionally, physically and financially. No one person should carry the load of the relationship while the other relaxes. Even when I was dating, I made sure the women I got involved with shared that same mindset. I wasn’t the kind of guy who played around or dated for fun. Every relationship had to be intentional.
I remember the girl I dated before I met my wife. On the surface, it looked like we were aligned. We were dating, and she seemed comfortable splitting bills on dates, helping out when we spent time at each other’s places, and acting like a teammate. I thought we were good.
Then one day, her father called me. He said something like, “In Islam, there’s no such thing as shared responsibilities. A man must take full responsibility and pray to Allah to provide. If you aren’t ready for that, don’t waste my daughter’s time.”
To be fair, the man made valid points, but I reminded him that I never hid my stance. From day one, his daughter knew I wanted a marriage where both parties were active contributors. After the call, I confronted her. She claimed she never discussed the details of our relationship with her parents. So, how did they find out? Even worse, she tried to make me see reason with her father’s perspective.
That was it for me. I knew we’d have serious problems if we got married. I ended things. It took time, but I eventually met someone who shared my views on marriage and partnership.
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Marriage doesn’t follow any manual, not even the one you create yourself
Right after we got married, I created a spreadsheet. It had everything: finances, chores, weekly tasks, even sex. I divided the load as fairly as possible. My wife was fully on board, and I thought, “Great. We’ve cracked it.”
But life humbled me quickly. It didn’t take long to realise that marriage doesn’t follow any structure, no matter how detailed your plan is. Things started to shift. One person would get overwhelmed at work, and the other would have to step up at home. Or unexpected bills would land, and our money plans would scatter. The system just couldn’t hold up against real life.
Worse, I caught myself keeping score. I’d say things like, “I paid for this, so you should cover that.” It stopped feeling like I was helping my wife out of love — it became about doing my “share”. And that shift was dangerous. I started questioning whether I was acting like a husband or an accountant.
Now, I’m learning to give without calculating, to act out of care instead of obligation. It’s not easy. But we’re figuring it out, one glitch at a time.
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Losing my job made me question everything
One of the lowest points in our marriage came when I lost my job for three months. It was a brutal period. I had some savings, but it still shook me. That’s when I realised that marriage is expensive, no matter how “ready” you think you are. Very expensive.
We maintained our 60/40 split, but every contribution I had to make felt like it was dragging me closer to the poverty line. I’d drop ₦15k–₦20k weekly for soup and think, “If I were single, I’d coast with ₦5k for the entire week.”
My wife wants comfort in the house. If we drank garri just for the fun of it, she’d carry a face and assume we were suffering. She’d feel the same if I suggested we stretch our pot of soup across more days. That made me angry. In those moments, I kept thinking, “If I wasn’t married, I wouldn’t have to deal with this pressure.”
I remember staring at my account balance every day, calculating how far the money would carry us if the rejection emails didn’t stop. There wasn’t any “deep” resolution or breakthrough. I got another job eventually, and things levelled out. But even with a job now, I still remember how close I felt to snapping.
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I used to fear poverty. Now, as a married man, that fear has tripled
Before marriage, I was already scared of financial instability. Now? That fear has tripled. I worry a lot about not having enough. And the funny thing is, I didn’t even grow up poor. We were comfortable, but not rich. So this fear doesn’t come from trauma. It comes from pressure — the pressure to show up and be the kind of provider I think a husband should be.
We don’t even have kids yet, and I’m already paranoid. I can’t imagine what I’ll feel like when we start a family.
Thankfully, my wife understands me. She’s told me several times that my anxiety doesn’t come from laziness or irresponsibility. It comes from a deep desire to care for my family and do right by them. That helps sometimes. But even with that, I still feel uneasy whenever things don’t go according to plan.
If I could go back, I’d wait till I was super rich
If there’s one thing I wish I could tell my younger, unmarried self, it’s this: Wait. Wait until you’re so financially stable that you can handle any unexpected blow without feeling like your world will collapse. Because the truth is, love won’t stop the bills from coming.
One of the hardest things I’ve had to do was keep up with our 60/40 split even when I had no job. I don’t know if it counts as a compromise, but I kept pushing myself to contribute even when I was digging into savings I should’ve protected. My wife didn’t tell me to stop. But to be fair, I didn’t act like I needed her to. I still carried on like everything was fine.
I sometimes wonder, “Would she have eased up on me if I’d just admitted I needed help?” Maybe. But I also felt like I had something to prove. If I championed partnership, I couldn’t be the first to slack. It was a difficult time. I got angry every time I dipped into my savings, but I kept going.
Love isn’t enough, but it’s the reason I stay
People say love isn’t enough to sustain a marriage. They’re right, but I also believe it’s the glue that holds everything else together. When you’re knee-deep in frustration or anger, it’s love that pulls you back to clarity.
A few months ago, I got home and found out our generator had been running even though there was light. The security guard said we’d had power for over an hour. My wife was inside, watching TV with the volume high. I was furious. She knew how much I hated refuelling the generator, and it felt like she just didn’t care.
She didn’t like how I spoke to her, and we barely exchanged words for the rest of the night. But the next morning, I remembered I was the one who introduced her to the show she was watching. I got excited about it first, and she was watching it to share that excitement with me.
That memory brought me back. I apologised, and we moved on. That’s what love does. It reminds you why you’re in this thing together. It’s like when your teeth bite your tongue, you don’t yank them out. You deal with the pain and carry on because it’s still your mouth. Still a part of you.
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So, you’ve finally found love and want to add spice to your romance with a sweet nickname. Or maybe “baby” and “babe” have started sounding like official government names to the love of your life. If you’re stuck for ideas, don’t worry, we’ve got you covered with some sweet names to call your girlfriend.
Whether you’re looking for something playful, romantic, or just laugh-out-loud funny, we’ve compiled 100 sweet names to call your girlfriend that are guaranteed to make her blush, giggle, or lovingly roll her eyes.
Let’s get into it.
Sweet Names to Call Your Girlfriend
You know that feeling when you’re staring at your babe and you quietly ask how you ever got her to say yes? These sweet names to call your girlfriend are for those moments.
They’re soft, tender, and dripping with affection. Whether you’re sending her a good morning text, trying a corny pick up line or whispering sweet love messages into her ear, the addition of these names say, “I love you deeply.”
My Angel: If you’ve accepted her as your personal saviour.
Sweet Pea: If she’s pocket-sized sweetheart.
Ololufe mi: This means “My lover” in Yoruba. And what is she to you again? Exactly.
Honim: This is the Igbo version of “Honey.” Use only for absolutely sweet babes.
Sweetim: If “Honim” isn’t hitting the right chord for you, we raise you this Igbo name. It’ll melt her heart.
Achalugo: If you’re into sweet “Igbo” names for the LOYL, this should be on your radar.
Nwanyin Oma: If she’s a good woman by all ramifications.
My Tomato Jos: If you’re certain she’s just as fresh as Jos-grown tomatoes.
My Diamond: If she’s really precious to you.
Love of My Life: This is a sweet name, but also a declaration that tells her there’s no one else.
Habibi: A little Arabian-vibes doesn’t hurt anybody.
You know that babe who sends voice notes with several “awwwns”, uses baby voice when she wants your attention, and always snuggles under your arms? She deserves a name that captures all that adorable chaos.
These cute names to call your girlfriend will make her giggle, blush, and maybe even forgive you for snapping at her.
Baby Boo: If she’s suddenly a baby anytime she’s around you.
Boo Boo: Think of this name for your girlfriend as the mushy version of “My love.”
Darling: This is a straightforward name to call your girlfriend, but genuinely from the heart.
Cutie: If the LOYL is as cute as a button.
My Cupcake: Use this name if you always have to resist the urge to give her love bites.
Sweetie: Short and sweet, just like her.
Sugar Plum: This is the only acceptable name if she’s as sweet as a treat.
African Khaleesi: If she’s a diehard fan of Game of Thrones.
Adumadan Mi: It means “My black and shine” in Yoruba. Use this name if your babe is a dark-skinned baddie.
Best: If the LOYL is the best thing since hot Agege bread.
Angel Eyes: Nobody knows what angels look like, but if you see the world in her eyes, this is the name to call your girlfriend.
My Sunshine: If she brightens your world even on the darkest days.
Giggles: This is the perfect name for your girlfriend if she laughs more than she talks.
Peaches: Call her this name if she reminds you of all the sweet things in life.
Snugglebug: When you just want to cuddle up with her all day.
Munchkin: This is the cutest name for your girlfriend if y’all enjoy love bites.
Mine: Think about it — who else dares lay claim to her?
African Princess: It’s only right because you’re her African prince.
My Smallie: If she’s a bite-sized queen who makes you feel like Goliath.
Think of pet names as the default setting of any relationship. They’re the catchy yet ridiculous names you use when you’re half asleep on the phone or teasing her in traffic.
If you’re tired of overusing “babe” and want pet names to call your girlfriend that feel a little more personal, this list will help you switch things up.
My Sweetheart: Oldie but goldie.
My Pearl: If she’s the most precious person in your life.
My Teddy Bear: If she’s a hard girl who only activates her soft, squishy side when she’s with you.
Hon: If you like short and sweet names, this is the perfect one for you.
Puppy: This is the go-to name to call your girlfriend if she loves getting clingy and cute at the same time.
Dollface: This is the only name to call your girlfriend if no one else compares to her beauty.
Love Muffin: If you want her to know she’s a meal you’ll always dig into anytime, any day.
Ginger: The spice in your life, who also knows how to give you premium drama if you misbehave.
My Ladybug: For the girl who’s small, sweet, and always brings good luck.
Apple of My Eye: Call your girlfriend this name if she’s as precious as your eyes. Without her, you’re blind.
Kitten: Let her know she’s as adorable and lovable as a little kitten.
World-Best: If you genuinely believe she’s the best thing to have walked planet earth.
My Homegirl: If you guys have the gang love thing going on, and she’s dependable AF.
You know those moments when she looks so good, it’s borderline disrespectful? Or when your conversations are 70% teasing and 30% “come over”? That’s where flirty names to call your girlfriend come in.
Use them to spark tension, cause small trouble, or make her run to you.
My Aquafina: If you can’t resist drinking her juices.
Sexy Mama: If she’s always giving body and confidence every time.
My Spec: What better way to remind her that she’s everything you’ve ever wanted in a woman?
My Girl: Call her this name when you want the world to know she’s yours.
Pretty Hawt Thang: If she’s irresistibly good-looking, go for this name.
Hawtie: This should be the go-to name to call your girlfriend if she’s hot and she knows it.
Temptress: For the girlfriend who leaves you thirsting for her juices all the time.
Beau: A little French vibe is sexy AF.
Naughty girl: If she’s a freaky little thing.
Dodo Mayana: Use this name if you’ve somehow managed to bag yourself an area mama who’s bad in bed.
Snuggles: What’s a better way to let her know how you really feel about her inside?
Mma: Use this Igbo name if her beauty is second to none.
Sugar-lips: If she incites the desire to kiss her anytime you’re together.
She’s not just your babe, she’s your peace, your soft place to land, your “I saw this and thought of you.” For love like that, basic names won’t cut it.
These romantic names to call your girlfriend are for when you want to express just how much she means to you, in a way that melts her heart.
My Heartbeat: This is a name to call your girlfriend if you’re certain you’ll stop breathing if she ever lives.
Love: If you want your girlfriend to know how you feel, call her this as often as possible.
My Everything: Because she truly means the world to you.
Other Half: Use this name if your girlfriend completes your life.
Queen: Because she reigns over your heart, rent-free.
My Peace: After a long day of hard labour, and she’s the calm to your chaos.
Iyawo Mi: In Yoruba, this means “my wife.” Use this name only if you plan to pay her bride price.
My Rib: Because she’s the missing rib that completes and makes your life whole.
Wifey: Only call her this name if y’all are engaged to marry.
My Woman: The best way to declare you only have eyes for her in this lifetime.
My World: Because everything revolves around her.
Ayanfe Mi: It means “My chosen one” in Yoruba. Use this if you’re convinced she’s your soulmate.
My Muse: Because she inspires you to be all that you can be.
My Dreamgirl: If she’s everything you dreamed of in a woman.
Enibiokanmi: This means “the one after my heart” in Yoruba. It’s the perfect romantic name for your girlfriend if you plan to put a ring on it.
Ego Oyibo: It means “foreign currency” in Igbo. Use this name if your girlfriend is the original cash madam in your relationship.
The Mrs: If you’re in a more serious relationship with your girlfriend and you guys are nearing the end of the quarter-to-get-married phase.
Some couples call each other “choco milo” and “sugar banana” without flinching. If you and your babe have a relationship built on laughter, memes and jabs, you need funny names to call your girlfriend that match the vibe. We compiled the most unhinged ones.
My Choco Milo: If the love of your life is a brown skin hottie.
Ukwu V-Boot: If the LOYL is moderately endowed.
Ukwu Venza: If your woman is endowed with a big behind.
My Trouble Maker: If she comes with premium loving and chaos as a two-in-one package.
Fine Girl No Pimples: This one is an oldie but goldie, but it’ll always make her smile.
Oxygen Supplier: Calls your girlfriend this name if you can’t breathe without her (or so she claims).
Sugar Banana: Because you want to peel and gobble her up anytime you see her. She’s sweet like that.
My Oga at the Top: Call your girlfriend this name if she’s a disciplinarian who’s always in charge.
Boss Lady: If she doesn’t exactly fancy “Oga at the top,” use this one.
My Drama Queen: If she’s super boujee and comes with drama.
Mumu Button: This is the name to call your girlfriend if she knows how to make you always do her bidding.
My Biggie: If she’s a plus-sized queen.
Sleeping Beauty: If sleep is the only thing dragging her with you in the relationship.
Little Miss: If she likes acting like she doesn’t need you to do everything for her.
Dimples: If she’s got a cute set of facial dimples that attracted you to her.
Queen Mother: If she likes to baby you in the relationship.
Big Mummy: Another version of “Queen Mother” for a girlfriend who likes being in control.
Milky: If your girlfriend’s a skincare junky with results to show for it.
Mummy C-Dollar: If your baby girl runs multiple businesses and is always about the money.
With age comes clarity, and sometimes decisions you make can have far-reaching ripple effects. In this piece, Zikoko went into a Lagos market and sat with five older Nigerians as they reflected on the love they lost, the partners they hurt, and the relationships they wish had gone differently.
From ghosting a woman who truly loved them to enduring a violent marriage they should have walked away from, these are stories of regret, and the what-ifs that still linger decades later.
“I wish I had married my girlfriend instead of ghosting her” — Bamiji* (60), M
In 1985, I started dating this gorgeous girl who sold agbo in the bus park. She loved me so much, but I was wary of the honesty of her feelings because so many other men in the bus park also wanted her. Soon enough, we got intimate, and I immediately knew she had an STI. I didn’t know how to tell her, so after the first few times we slept together, I pretended I didn’t know her in the bus park.
She would come to the bus park early in the morning to try to speak to me, but I never gave her a chance. After a while, she stopped trying, and we became distant. Now, she has a child of her own, but over the years, I swear she has gotten even more beautiful.
I still see her at the bus park every day, but we only greet each other — nothing else. I regret abandoning our relationship the way I did. I should have saved up some money to help her treat the STI, and then married her. I’m still unmarried now, and I’ll be 61 in October. I wonder what our life together could have been.
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“My husband turned out to be a violent schizophrenic. I regret our marriage.” — Alexandra* (52), F
I wish I had never gotten married to my ex-husband. I didn’t have much of a choice, though; I was an orphan living with a distant widowed relative who was looking for a place to send me off to.
One day, in our village church, the church secretary of the regional district of East Nigeria came to visit. He took an interest in me and asked me some questions about myself, like whether I was a virgin and if I could cook well. I answered yes on both counts.
I was only 19, but I remember he was very impressed. He told me he was looking for a wife for his brother, who was a wealthy auditor in Lagos. The thought of elevating from farming in the village to the wife of an educated man delighted me so much that I accepted, and they set the wedding for a few months later.
Around that time, a boy in the village beside mine fell in love with me. He was also 19, but he was working as an apprentice at a big store. He bought me things I had never owned before, like dresses with flower prints, shoes and even a brassiere. He even asked me to run away with him, but I rejected him and his gifts because I was already promised to the auditor. I thought God would be angry with me for breaking my engagement.
In September 1992, I got married in a small parlour ceremony to the auditor who didn’t seem as excited as I was. After two weeks as a new bride, I started to see hell. It turned out that the auditor was a violent schizophrenic who would hit me at the slightest trigger. Three weeks after our wedding, he broke my eye socket with his fist and sent me out of the house in the middle of the night, naked and covered in blood. Our neighbours at the time took me to get treatment and urged me to run away, but I had no place to go.
I tried to tell his family, but they said that I was young and strong and should be able to endure it. Meanwhile, I heard the village boy had started his own shop in Ikeja and was doing great for himself. I wished I had run away with him instead. I left that violent man after eight months of sadness and suffering. I really regret marrying him.
“I regret letting my wife and my older sister get close. “ — Abayomi* (50), M
When I got married 20 years ago, I thought it would be nice for my older sister and my wife to be close friends. My sister could help us settle any disagreements and also teach my spouse how to be a good wife.
I had some challenges at the time. I had no money, so I slept in the bus park while my wife stayed with my sister. After a while, I managed to rent a little room for my wife and our daughter while I still continued to sleep in the park. I was saving up for my own bus, so I didn’t have a lot of disposable income, but I thought my wife understood.
My sister got under my wife’s skin and encouraged her to leave me. She told my wife that she could make money for herself and didn’t need me because I wasn’t well off. This evil advice caused a rift in our marriage, and my wife moved out.
It’s been a long time since then, but now I’m much better off. I have a two-bedroom apartment in Surulere, but she still won’t move back in with me. She says she can make all the money she wants on her own.
I visit my daughter twice weekly, but I wish we all lived under the same roof. I’ll never stop trying to win my wife back. I deeply regret letting her get close to my sister. I no longer talk to that homewrecker.
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“I regret marrying my wife against my family’s wishes.” —Tomiwa* (48), M
They didn’t want me to marry an Ondo woman as an Osun man, but I didn’t care. They encouraged me to leave her years after we got married, but I couldn’t imagine my life without her in it. My wife and I were passionately in love and determined to prove them wrong, but I’ve learned that it takes so much more than love to make a marriage work.
We’ve been married since 1998, and I don’t know what happened after we started living together, but we have fought bitterly every single day of our marriage. Small things like unwashed dishes could lead to a shouting match that lasts days. I don’t even know why she agitates me like that. I love her, but it’s impossible for us to have a small disagreement. The fights have weighed me down over the years. I’m anxious to go home, and our children always flinch at loud noises.
We’ve tried couples’ counselling, separation, and family intervention, but we can’t stop fighting. I refuse to leave her, even though I regret our marriage. A part of me is still holding out hope that we can go back to how we were before we got married.
“I rejected my brother’s advice and married my ex-husband” — Yetunde*(59)
I got married to my ex-husband in 1989, even though my older brother hated him and didn’t support the marriage. Our mother had passed, and our father was a polygamous man, so my two brothers and I only had each other.
Ade*, my ex-husband, courted me for over two years, and the whole time, he was as meek as a lamb. He would come to the hairdresser’s shop where I was an apprentice with lunches he cooked for me, packed carefully with meat, eggs, and fish. He was so caring and indulgent that, of course, I said yes when he asked me to marry him.
His family was also well off. He had his own car and a little printing business, but he was very humble and caring. I don’t know why, but my older brother hated Ade. He was vocally against our marriage and threatened to scatter our wedding if we went through with it.
On the day of our introduction, I remember my step-siblings had to stop my brother from entering the house because he had come with a machete. When I asked him why he hated my husband, he said something about Ade’s spirit being evil, and he could sense it. I thought he was just being too overprotective.
After I had our first son in 1991, Ade got a big recurring printing contract with the government and became a completely different person. He would come home drunk several nights a week, and he started hitting me and our baby.
At first, I didn’t tell anyone. I thought he was just stressed, and after a while, he would go back to being the loving person that he was, but he never did. I had two more children in four years, and the abuse only got worse. By then, Ade was extremely wealthy, but my children and I lived and ate like paupers.
One night, I went to him crying, begging him for money to buy food for the children. They hadn’t eaten all day because he didn’t drop any money for food, and I wasn’t allowed to work. That was when Ade said the only way those children would live a good life was if I took myself out of the picture. He said he had already seen the woman who was perfect for him, but he couldn’t marry her because no matter what he did to me, I refused to leave his house.
My first child was going to be five years old, and I wanted him to have a good education. I also wanted my other children to have a shot at life, too. So one day in 1996, with nothing to my name, I packed the few clothes that I had and left Ade’s house.
Since that time, so many things have happened. It was a struggle for Ade to let me see the kids. Once, when I visited them, they begged me not to come back because their dad would punish them after every visitation. This strained our relationship. My older brother tried to step in to insist that I should be allowed to see my kids, but Ade had big money and government connections, so he threatened my brother into silence.
Without my kids, I lived like a shadow of myself, and I sold fruits by the road to get by. One by one, when each of them entered the university and became a bit more independent, they came to look for me, and now we have a secret relationship that their father and half-siblings know nothing about. I love having my kids in my life again. My first son just paid for a nice apartment for me in Surulere. He has assured me that I’ll soon stop selling fruits here, and he’ll rent a shop for me when he earns a better salary.
I haven’t laid eyes on Ade since 2006, and I don’t want to. I wish I had listened to my older brother. I wish I had never been taken in by Ade’s behaviour in the beginning. It has been an extremely difficult time for me.
Editor’s note: These conversations were had in Yoruba/Pidgin English and were translated to English and edited for clarity.
*Names have been changed to protect the identities of respondents
Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.
*Ezra (29) and *Feyi (26) met at a Jehovah’s Witness meeting in 2022, and what began as small talk during evangelism outings slowly evolved into a friendship neither wanted to lose.
On this week’s Love Life, they talk about falling for each other slowly, navigating clashing communication styles, and why supporting each other through crisis made saying “yes” to marriage the easy part.
If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this form.
What’s your earliest memory of each other?
Ezra: I walked into our Jehovah’s Witness meeting on October 30, 2022, and sent my best friend a text saying, “I’ve just seen the most beautiful woman to ever attend one of our meetings.”
Feyi dressed so simply — a wine and brown Bubu gown, cute glasses, a spectacularly pointy nose, and a perfect chin. I was in awe and couldn’t stop staring. But I didn’t approach her until days later.
Feyi: My memory is similar. I’d just joined the meeting and noticed Ezra that same week. Something about him stirred something in me. I loved how he carried himself, plus, he was really good-looking. I asked a friend about him, and they had lovely things to say. That was it for me. I knew I wouldn’t approach him. But as God would have it, I’d apparently crossed his radar, too.
Right. So, when did you first interact?
Ezra: A few days later. I first saw her on Friday. We went out for evangelism on Saturday, and I approached her on Sunday. I’m talkative, so it was easy to start a conversation. I used a younger friend as a launch pad; I got him talking and brought Feyi into the conversation. Once she was engaged, I subtly nudged the guy out and kept chatting with her. I didn’t get her number that day, though. That came a week later. But we kept seeing each other at group activities. I remember one evangelism trip where we had a long walk and got to gist properly. I mentioned a vendor whose food I liked, and Feyi said she could cook better. I thought she was joking until she called me days later and brought home-cooked food to my workplace.
Feyi: After that first interaction, I started greeting him whenever we crossed paths at meetings. I’d ask how he was doing, just general check-ins. Some kids in the congregation called him “daddy”, and I joked about being his daughter. That’s how I started calling him “daddy” too.
Ezra: I remember that. She said she wanted to be my daughter because I pampered my children.
Interesting. Were either of you in a relationship at the time?
Ezra: I was. But the relationship was fizzling out. I’d mentally checked out and stopped calling regularly because I wanted it to die naturally. My ex once said she didn’t love me as much as she thought. I tried to save it, but I was wrong.
Feyi: I was single. I’d left a relationship a few months earlier and wasn’t ready for love again.
So what happened next?
Ezra: The food. Whenever I mentioned being hungry or enjoying a particular meal, Feyi would show up with something even better. Real home-cooked meals.
Feyi: Food is one of my love languages. It’s how I show care, to friends or otherwise.
Ezra: Beyond the food, we started building a deeper connection, and that’s when I noticed and appreciated Feyi’s level of independence. She’d gone through so many personal challenges with family and carried on with this “self-made” aura that was undeniable. It made me really curious about her story.
Feyi: I should also mention that something I found fascinating about him was how committed he was to his craft as a fashion designer. He was always busy whenever I called or texted to check in. So busy he wouldn’t even have time to eat, which is why I started sending him food. But it also showed he was serious about his life. Despite his “busyness,” he’d still find time to call and check on me. I really liked that about him.
At what point did you confess your feelings, Ezra?
Ezra: It took months. We continued as friends. We were both fashion designers, both Jehovah’s Witnesses, so there was always something to talk about. But something happened that sealed it for me. I knew she wasn’t someone I could ever let go of.
What was that?
Ezra: My dad fell ill and was hospitalised. Feyi spent days with me there. My friend, who was also the attending doctor, pulled me aside and said, “This one isn’t just a friend. You must wife her.” And I agreed completely.
Feyi: For me, it was simply about showing up for a friend. I wasn’t overthinking whatever we had. Ezra hadn’t come forward with any strong proposition, so I didn’t read too much into our relationship. All I saw was a friend going through a hard time, and I believe I’d have shown up in the same way for anyone I considered a friend.
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Right.
Ezra: I made my move after my dad recovered. I was no longer worried about his health, and Feyi was the only thing on my mind. I asked her to date me, adding that I didn’t think she should be sacrificing so much for me without something serious in return.
But she turned me down. She made it clear she was just being nice and nothing more. I nearly lost my mind. I couldn’t understand how she was so good to me and didn’t want to commit. Still, I stayed friends with her. I didn’t want to push it if she didn’t want to date, but I also didn’t want to lose her; she was just an excellent person to have in one’s corner.
Curious, Feyi. Why did you turn him down if you liked him from the start?
Feyi: Honestly, I was overplaying the “hard to get” card. That was it. I just wanted to do “shakara”.
Ezra: I think she just wanted to be sure I was who I claimed to be. And I doubled down. I showed her my best character.
Feyi: All of this lasted about nine months from when we first met. At one point —a few months after he asked me out— I called him again and asked, “What are we?“ And that was when we agreed to date.
I’m still confused. Was there any quality in particular you were looking out for?
Feyi: Nothing, to be honest. He had everything I wanted in a man — God-fearing, hardworking, trustworthy. But it just felt too good to be true. I needed to be sure it wasn’t a performance. But the more I watched, the more he proved me wrong.
Did you consider moving on, Ezra?
Ezra: Not really. She never said “no.” It felt like “not yet,” and that was why I applied more pressure. Plus, every important person in my life loved her so much. It would have been stupid to let her go. I had to hold on until I got what I wanted.
Makes sense. What were the early days of dating like?
Ezra: We talked about everything. I was always working, so evenings were for gisting. We saw each other a lot. She’d give me food almost every day. I’d pass by her place, share hugs, gist for an hour, then head home. I started teaching her my habits — I’d buy books and read to her. I brought her goodies and made clothes for her. If I saw something romantic online, I’d try it with her. They were really good days.
Feyi: Everything he said. We spent a lot of time together, went on evangelism, and worked side by side.
You mentioned trying romantic things. What sort of things did you try?
Ezra: To be clear, we didn’t get physically intimate. Not because of church rules, but our personal convictions based on biblical teachings. We only shared long hugs. I sometimes have bad days, and hugging her calms me. But we avoided lonely places or situations without a third party to stay true to our commitment.
Did you discover anything new about each other?
Ezra: Plenty. She doesn’t like to talk when she’s tired — she gets irritable, which is hard for me because I’m a talkative. I’ve learnt to talk less and help out when she’s stressed. Her love language is acts of service. She doesn’t enjoy reading but loves learning, so I read and share summaries with her.
The weirdest discovery? Her love for hawusa (the fruit). I bought it once and she was really happy. It was beautiful to see, because I only bought it after a long day at work, and couldn’t find any nice things. But to see how happy it made her? That was a delight.
Feyi: For me, it was how much he loved talking. I could barely keep up with him because I’m not a big talker. I only speak when necessary, and even then, I don’t say much. But Ezra’s talkative nature has rubbed off on me, and I think I’m getting better at expressing myself.
Curious. Did this dislike for talking ever cause issues around communication?
Feyi: Not really, but there’ve been times I had to say, “You’re talking too much. It’s overwhelming.” Sometimes he listens. Sometimes I get upset and check out.
Ezra: I’ve learnt to manage it. We have a system now: I ask if she’s in the mood for a long or short version of the conversation. If she’s not up for it, I take note and bring it up later. I try to be brief. She’s actually more open to longer conversations now, even if she doesn’t realise it.
I also remind myself we were raised differently, and that keeps me grounded. Take our wedding plans for example — I’ve had to make a few changes recently. I tell her, and she says “okay,” even when she’s clearly not fine with it. She just wants to avoid conflict. So now, I ask twice before making any changes, just to be sure she’s actually fine with it. I carry her along with every decision. I just keep the explanations short and sweet.
We both have moments where we’d rather be quiet, and I’ve learnt to respect that. When it’s her turn, I try to ask gentle questions that can draw her out. I feel bad sometimes when I want to talk and she’s not in the mood. But I’ve found a trick — I start with gist and slowly ease the real topic into the conversation.
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Do you think you shy away from conversations to avoid conflict, Feyi?
Feyi: Not at all. Sometimes, I have so much to say, but I end up just saying “okay” because I’m tired. It’s not about avoiding conflict — it’s just how I am. I’ve always been quiet and careful with words. I don’t like long, drawn-out conversations or back-and-forths.
Speaking of wedding prep, at what point did you know you wanted to commit forever?
Ezra: When my dad got seriously ill again, I called Feyi. She showed up instantly, took care of him and was there for my mum in a way that moved me deeply. Watching her jump into action without hesitation made me realise she wasn’t just supportive, she’s the kind of woman people learn from.
Then there was a time we had a fight and weren’t talking much. I remember saying, “We can’t be like this when our baby girl is here,” and as cheesy as it sounded, it broke the tension. From that moment, our unborn daughter had a name.
There’s also the fact that everyone in my family adores her. At some point, I met someone who knew her as a child. When they found out we were together, they basically adopted me. They’ve been showering us with love ever since, mostly because of who she is. All of these things combined made it easy and pointed to one clear signal: wife her. I proposed on Feb 12.
Feyi: And he got a yes.
Sweet. It’s been three months since the proposal. How’s the journey been so far?
Feyi: Excitement is the only word that truly captures it. I’m genuinely looking forward to forever with this man. Since I said yes, I’ve learnt even more about him — especially how much he values opening up, even when it’s hard to talk. The last few months have been really beautiful.
Ezra: It’s been a rollercoaster. I’m excited about the upcoming phase of my life, but there’s also fear.
Why’s that?
Ezra: Marriage is a completely different experience. I know Feyi well, but now, I’ll be responsible for leading a home spiritually, financially, and emotionally. I’ve made plans to support us, but life doesn’t always go according to plan. The fear is just about the unknown.
Have you shared that fear with Feyi or anyone else?
Ezra: Yes, we talk about everything. She’s always reassuring. We also have some older mentors who care about us and have given us solid advice. They’ve encouraged us on the journey ahead and given us pointers. They’ve all pointed to one thing: consult God’s words and pray.
One of them also said, “The only opinion that matters in your marriage is your partner’s. No one understands your dynamic like you both do. So never take your gist outside.” That’s stuck with me.
Feyi: It’s interesting because I haven’t felt any fear. Ezra is so kind and grounded. I’m confident we’ll weather any storm together.
Neat. Have you had a major fight yet?
Ezra: Nothing that made us question the relationship, but yes, we’ve had fights.
Feyi: Especially around wedding planning. It’s such a stressful period. I remember a day I needed help with a client’s outfit and went to Ezra’s workshop. He said I should handle it myself. It hurt. I didn’t say anything at the time — I just went quiet. We barely spoke for five days. He tried to reach out, but I used work as an excuse to ignore him. Eventually, we talked it out.
Ezra: I didn’t mean to hurt her. I was distracted when she asked for help and my response came off as dismissive. Also, I’d already helped with similar work before, so I made a joke about her doing it herself. But she was serious, and I didn’t read the room. It was later on that I figured that she found my actions hurtful. Once I realised, I made it up to her with shawarma. That was all it took to win her back.
Has wedding planning caused other issues?
Ezra: Definitely. One of the biggest was the guest list. We’d agreed to keep it at 80 guests, but I bumped it up to 120 because of family pressure. She didn’t take it well. I also booked the venue late, and that annoyed her too.
Feyi: I couldn’t believe he’d renege on our initial agreement simply because the family wanted more guests at the ceremony. We were sticking to a strict budget, and we made those decisions together. Then he went behind my back to please others. Yes, he explained that his hands were tied, but I felt he should’ve stood his ground since we had already decided as a couple.
Ezra: Again, we resolved it by having a frank discussion, and my pleading. We agreed to the increase after I explained that we might’ve missed out on including some important people.
Any shared activity that helps you take your mind off wedding planning?
Ezra: Nothing particularly planned yet, but we’ve decided to start going on dates on the 6th of every month — our wedding date is September 6 — to stay connected and relaxed.
Nice. What’s the best thing about being with each other?
Ezra: Feyi fully embraces her femininity. It makes her presence so powerful. She’s nurturing in ways I haven’t seen in a long time. A lot of people today are harsh and unkind, but not her. She’s soft, gentle and intentional. She fights for me, not with me. And when life throws problems at us, we face them together, not as enemies, but as partners. In most ways, she complements and balances me out.
Feyi: Ezra is my peace. He’s my safe space. With him, I don’t have to worry. That feeling alone is everything.
On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your love life?
Ezra: 8. We’re still learning how to communicate better, but we’re on the right path to making it a 10.
Feyi: 8 too. He’s done a great job of loving me. Well done!
If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this form.
Sex for money? We’ve all joked about it at some point, whether as a passing sugar daddy or mummy fantasy, or a half-arsed solution to being broke.
But what about the people who’ve actually done it? For these Nigerians, transactional sex wasn’t just a thought; it was the quickest way to solve real money problems. They open up about the unique situations that pushed them into it, and how they feel looking back now.
“I slept with an older woman to fund part of my wedding” — *Garuba, 40
In a twist of desperation and mutual understanding, *Garuba found himself making an uncomfortable choice for love. He shares:
“There’s a woman on Lagos Island I’ve known for a long time. She’s older, very comfortable and well-connected. She used to buy food from my shop, and we built a rapport over time. She’d hinted once or twice about wanting me to be her “man friend”, but I never took it seriously.
Fast forward to a few years later, I was preparing for my wedding and had already borrowed more than I should’ve. Things got really tight. Out of the blue, this woman called and said she hadn’t seen me in a while. We talked, and I explained the pressure I was under. She asked me to come and see her. When I did, she offered to help offset part of the debt, but the condition was clear.
I won’t lie, I hesitated. But I also knew what I was facing: creditors breathing down my neck and no backup plan. I did it. Just that one time. And the next morning, I felt hollow. I eventually told my wife about it after our wedding. She was quiet for a while but didn’t blow up. Maybe because she knew I’d forgiven her once for cheating, too. Somehow, we were even.
The craziest part? Some months later, when we were in a financial mess again, my wife lightly mentioned that the same woman could “help out” if I asked nicely. I was shocked. Maybe she was joking. Maybe not. I considered it. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. But something in me felt wrong. My spirit didn’t align. Or maybe I was just overthinking. Either way, I didn’t go back.”
“I was in 200 level when I got my first ‘trip’ invite” — *Tola, 29
For *Tola, weekend trips to Lagos helped her pay bills and eat during her university days, even if she doesn’t miss that version of her life.
“I schooled in Ilorin, but most of the money I made came from Lagos. The state wasn’t exactly filled with opportunities to make extra cash. I’d catch up with some of my friends from UNILAG, and they’d share how they made thousands just from attending parties. I felt like I was missing out a lot, but it also wasn’t feasible to catch a bus from Ilorin to Lagos on a whim. So, I made do with the handouts I got from my friends.
In my second year, someone in my hostel told me about weekend “parols” to Lagos and asked if I was interested since I had the right looks. She explained that we just had to show up at parties and didn’t have to do anything with the guys—that was entirely by choice. I felt like I’d finally gotten my chance to make extra cash and thought, why not? I was nervous, but I was also broke AF. I was on a ₦5k weekly allowance from home and barely got anything done.
They asked us to get tested before coming. We went over, chilled at a hotel in Lekki, partied, and did what we had to do. I got ₦80k that weekend. I’d never had so much money to my name. After that, it became a twice-a-month routine. I made anywhere from ₦50k to ₦100k, depending on the client’s generosity.
It paid for my rent for a private hostel and my general survival in school. To be honest, I didn’t love it, but I didn’t hate it either. I eventually slowed to 400lvl. There was no reason, really. I just thought I’d saved up enough. Besides, I’d bagged a rich boyfriend by then, and he was really coming through with the funds.
Now that I’m older and self-sufficient, I look back and feel weird about it — like it wasn’t me. But I know I wouldn’t have finished school without it.”
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“He squeezed two rumpled N500 notes in my hand” — *Kenneth 32
*Kenneth’s first brush with sex-for-pay was driven by curiosity and desire for a BlackBerry phone. But after a 2go chatroom meetup left him feeling used and underpaid, he gave up chasing sugar daddies altogether.
“I had my first sex-for-pay experience during my post-secondary school days, when I was still writing JAMB and hustling for admission. Blackberry had just hit the streets, and I’d go on Facebook and see my former classmates posting pictures with their BBs, flexing in school. Me? I only had an old Alcatel phone that my uncle passed down to me.
Life was hard. 2go was the social app of the moment, so I’d spend hours chatting with strangers just to pass time. That’s how I met this older guy who seemed really pleasant. We got talking, and I noticed he looked well-off. All his photos were taken in flashy cars and in nice places on the island. In my head, I thought, “Jackpot — sugar daddy.”
It was normal in those days to go from chatting on 2go to planning a meetup in days. He eventually asked to see me, but I hesitated because he looked way older — probably in his 40s — and I wasn’t sure how to feel about that. I eventually agreed and told my mum I had to go to the WAEC office. She gave me ₦500 for transport, and I headed out.
We met at a hotel. He was exactly how I imagined — older and well-dressed. Two other younger guys were in the room, but he asked them to leave. After a bit of small talk, we got down to business. Nothing intense — mostly touching. But when we were done, he picked up his phone, faked a call and said he was expecting someone. Basically, a polite way of telling me to get going.
As I stood to leave, he squeezed some cash into my hand and said, “Manage this.” I got outside, opened my hand and saw two wrinkled ₦500 notes. I felt like I’d been stabbed in the chest. Based on how he looked, I hadn’t asked for money directly, but I’d assumed I’d leave that hotel with something tangible.
That was the first and last time I went on that kind of high-effort, low-reward adventure. For a long time after that, I refused to believe sugar daddies were even real.”
“I made ₦70k and never looked back” — *Bella, 23
For Bella, her journey into transactional sex wasn’t intentional. One night of kink play turned into a stack of cash and a new side hustle.
“My first experience with transactional sex happened by accident. I’d been chatting with this woman online — we met through a kink/BDSM platform. We talked a lot and flirted a bit, but nothing serious. Then we finally met in person at a party in Lekki. One thing led to another — a few drinks, more flirting, some kissing — and she invited me back to her hotel. I said yes. We’d already shared pictures, so she wasn’t a stranger, just someone I was seeing for the first time.
She was older, and the sex was great. I’m a dom; she was a sub. We both knew the dynamic we were playing into. But after everything, I got up to leave, and she handed me a stack of cash, over ₦70k. I asked, “What’s this for?” and she said, “You’re a dom. I thought this was your rate. Is it not enough?” That’s when I realised she assumed I was a paid dom. I was shocked. I told her, “Damn, I would’ve fucked you for free.” But still, I wasn’t mad about the money.
Before that, I already had male submissives online, men I never met in person who’d send me money or gifts while I degraded them over text or audio. But after that night, I started taking it more seriously. I kept at it. It was fun, and I loved women, so getting paid to sleep with them didn’t feel like a big deal.
At my peak, I made close to half a million naira. One client paid me $200 just to video call him and drink something from a bottle — all he wanted to see was from my lips to my chest. That was it. Another time, I made almost the same in naira. It became a normal thing. I was constantly balling.
So why did I stop? I got overwhelmed. Most of my clients were male subs, and they’re very needy. I don’t like men enough to deal with that level of emotional demand. I was also juggling school, work and my mental health. It felt like one more thing I needed to take off my plate, so I let it go. No one found out — not my family, not even my closest friends. Funny thing is, I talked about it openly, but no one knew the full extent of what I was doing. Even my best friend only found out last year. I was in an open relationship, so people assumed I was just hanging out or dating people casually. They had no idea those people were paying clients.
I got tested regularly — I was always safe. But yeah, it was a chapter of my life that most people around me never truly understood.”
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“I sold a blowjob for an AirPod replacement I didn’t even need” — *Gbemi, 22
*Gbemi didn’t plan to exchange intimacy for cash. But a Bumble date and a missing AirPod led to a ₦10k transaction she still feels sick about — especially because she found the AirPod hours later.
“There was a time in school when I lost my AirPods, and it shattered me. I was broke and couldn’t afford to replace them. Around that time, I matched with a guy on Bumble, and we agreed to meet up.
When I got to his place, we watched a movie, and he started talking about his feelings. In my head, I was like, “Guy, abeg, enough of the love talk. I’m only here to make out.”
We started kissing, and when I touched his dick, he said it felt really good. Then he asked for a blowjob. I said I couldn’t. But in that moment, I remembered my AirPods and used them as a bargaining chip. I told him I’d only give him what he wanted if he gave me money to replace them. He asked how much, I said ₦10k, and he agreed. Still, I made sure he transferred the money before I did anything.
On my way home, I felt sick to my stomach. I kept asking God to forgive me. The guilt weighed heavily, and as if that wasn’t bad enough, I got home and found the AirPods in my bag. The guy tried to see me again, but I never agreed to meet him.”
“It felt easier than begging” — *Seyi, 24
*Seyi’s run-in with transactional sex dates back to the 2020 coronavirus year where people lost their jobs. For her, selling sex was an easier option than hounding family and friends for handouts.
“I lost my job during the COVID years, and everything went downhill fast. Rent, feeding, black tax — everything became too much. A friend I’d known since secondary school who was into selling private sex videos said, “You know you’re fine, right? Some people are willing to pay for this.” It was a disgusting idea when she pitched. I knew she made a killing and had never judged her, but doing the same thing felt debasing in a way. But here’s the thing, the idea stuck once she put it in my head. I was already sharing nudes with my boyfriend, and I thought, why not make money from it? I didn’t have to meet anyone in person or reveal my identity.
Eventually, I got my friend to help me set up a private account, film content and started getting DMS. But even then, I wasn’t making enough. N20k here, N30k there, I just wasn’t hitting the right people. Again, my friend noticed, and that was when she came completely clean about meeting up with people —men, women— for sex. Again, I refused. It was too much for me, and that seemed extreme. I eventually agreed to meet an expatriate on the Island who wanted my friend and me at the same time. We spent a weekend with him, and it was worth it. We got half a million each. But after we left, I had this feeling of self loathing pour over me. The money felt like blood money, and I didn’t even spend it for some time. I turned down other requests from my friend and kept doing stuff online. I stopped around mid-2021. The requests kept getting weird, and people sent the most disgusting pictures and videos to my DM. It was a really crazy time, and a phase. It’s why I don’t judge the Yahwehs and Hydonni. They’re probably doing the best they can to get by.”
Looking for the perfect birthday wishes for your boyfriend? Whether he’s the type who cracks you up with his silly jokes, a hopeless romantic who loves heartfelt words, or the long-distance love you miss every day, we know how tricky it can be to find the right words.
That’s why we’ve done the hard work for you by putting together a collection of over 200 birthday wishes designed to fit every kind of boyfriend and every kind of mood. From simple and sweet to long and emotional, you’ll find all the inspiration you need right here.
No more overthinking or stressing — these happy birthday wishes for your boyfriend read like deep love messages for him, and are curated to help you celebrate your man in a way that feels personal, thoughtful, and full of love.
Simple and Sweet Birthday Wishes for your Boyfriend
These simple and sweet birthday messages for your boyfriend get straight to the point. These feel casual but thoughtful. They’re perfect for people who don’t want to be overly mushy.
Happy birthday, babe! You make everything brighter and more beautiful.
Happy birthday, my darling! Wishing you all the happiness in the world, today and always.
Happy birthday to my favourite person in the world! You are the sun in my sky.
I’m wishing you a day as amazing as you are. Happy birthday, my sugar plum.
Happy birthday to my personal star boy! You deserve all the good things in the world, today and always.
I can’t wait to be able to celebrate you in the way that you deserve. Happy birthday, my love!
Happy birthday to the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love you forever.
Happy birthday to my calm in the chaos. Everything feels easier to handle when I know you’re with me.
Loving you has been the easiest and best decision I’ve ever made. Happy birthday, babe.
Happy birthday, my baby! I feel so lucky to call you mine. Enjoy your day!
Happy birthday, babe! Can’t wait to shower you with kisses when I see you!
Happy birthday to the light of my world. My love for you grows with every passing year.
Happy birthday to my favourite person. You are the reason for all my joys.
Happy birthday to the one who has made my life so much sweeter. I celebrate you, babe!
Another year around the sun! Happy birthday, my love. I will always be so grateful for you and all you do.
Happy birthday, my wonderful darling. I’m wishing you a year full of blessings.
Happy birthday, my Odogwu! Here’s to more love, laughs, and memories.
My life is better with you in it. I’m so happy we get to celebrate another birthday together. May we always have a reason to celebrate you.
Happy birthday, my king! Every moment with you is a precious gift.
Happy birthday to the guy who stole my heart. I wish you the happiest day filled with light.
Happy birthday to my person. You make everything feel easy. I love you.
Happy birthday to my peace and my person. Love you deeply!
Happy birthday, my darling. Loving you is the best thing I have ever done.
Happy birthday, baby! I hope today brings you as much joy as you bring me.
Happy birthday to the man of my dreams! I’m so proud of you, and I can’t wait for all the joy we’ll share.
Happy birthday to the original life of the party! To many more years of fun and love with you.
Being with you is my favourite thing. I’m wishing you a happy birthday full of joy and peace.
Happy birthday, my sunshine. You are the reason I smile every day.
Forever grateful to be able to share special days like this with you. Have an amazing birthday, baby.
Happy birthday to my happy place. May blessings always multiply in your life.
Happy birthday to the best man to ever do it. I love you forever, and I can’t wait to spoil you today!
These romantic birthday wishes for your boyfriend are perfect for when you’re feeling sentimental and want to make him feel extra cherished on his special day.
Whether you’re newly in love or years deep into your relationship, these romantic birthday messages will help you express the love, admiration, and passion you feel for him.
Happy birthday, my love. You make every day feel like magic, and sometimes I can’t believe a love like yours exists. Wishing you the best of the year!
Happy birthday to my forever person. I’m so lucky to love someone as genuine and kind as you. Wishing the year brings you new and exciting experiences.
Happy birthday, my love. Being in your arms is my favourite place to be. I feel more and more in love with you as I watch you grow into yourself.
Happy birthday, babe. My heart belongs to you because you’ve made life sweeter than I ever imagined.
Here’s to celebrating the man who completes me and fills my heart with joy. Happy birthday, my heartthrob!
Happy birthday, baby. You are my dream come true, and I’m so grateful we get to live this love story together. I’m wishing you a very long life and prosperity.
Happy birthday, my love! Even after spending so many birthdays together, your smile still gives me butterflies. I love you so much, and I look forward to seeing you soon.
Happy birthday, baby. Your love is the best gift I’ve ever received, and I’ll cherish it forever. I hope to be able to pay you back with something just as precious.
Happy birthday to my soulmate and best friend. I’m so lucky to do life with you. I wouldn’t change a thing about what we have.
Happy birthday, my baby! I hope today is as perfect as your love makes me feel every single day.
Happy birthday to the light of my life. Your love is everything I need, and more than I ever dreamed I’d find. Wishing you the best year ever.
Happy birthday, my baby. You’re not just my boyfriend—you’re my whole world, and I love you endlessly. Have the best day ever.
Happy birthday, babe! I didn’t know what love was until I met you. Thank you for showing me what it means. I wish you the best of the year as you add another year to your life.
Happy birthday, my precious. Thank you for being the reason I smile, the calm in my storm, and the love of my life. May your year be full of joy and laughter.
Happy birthday to my brightest star. You light up my life in the best ways!
Happy birthday, babe. I’d choose you in every lifetime. You’re the best decision I’ve ever made, and I love you with all my heart.
Happy birthday to my partner in all things—my love, my support, my everything. May this year be filled with joy and happiness for you.
Happy birthday, my baby. You’re my heart’s favourite place to rest, and I love you more with each passing moment.
Happy birthday! Loving you is so easy, natural, and deeply rewarding. I can’t wait to see how you conquer this new year.
Happy birthday, Starboy. With you, every moment feels right and every dream feels possible. I’m wishing you the very best this year.
Happy birthday, my darling. You make life worth living, and I’m so happy that I get to share this world with you.
Happy birthday to the love of my life. I cherish you more than words can say. Wishing you the best year ahead in your new age.
Happy birthday to the main character of the love story I always dreamed of. Loving you is a gift, but I have another gift for you the next time we see each other.
Happy birthday, my lover. I’m better because I have you. You’ve helped me grow in the best ways.
Happy birthday, baby! You’ve made my heart your home, and I’m so grateful to be yours. May we always have a reason to celebrate.
Happy birthday! I can’t wait to spend forever with you. This birthday is another example of all the milestones I want us to celebrate together. Let’s keep building our beautiful story.
Happy birthday, babe! You’ve made every year of my life better since you walked in. Here’s to another year filled with love and joy.
Happy birthday to my lover. The one who has turned ordinary days into fairy tales, full of laughter and love. I will always celebrate you.
Happy birthday to the man who owns my heart. I’ll never stop loving you!
Happy birthday to the love of my life. Your love is the kind that people write books about. I’m so glad that I get to be a part of your story.
I love you more with every breath and every heartbeat. Happy birthday to you, my love.
Happy birthday to my one and only. You have helped me discover a whole new side of love I never knew existed. I’ll never stop choosing you again and again.
Being with you feels like coming home to where I belong. Happy birthday, love.
Happy birthday, baby. My heart beats for you, today and always. Your happiness is everything to me. Have the best day.
Happy birthday to the reason I smile without even realising it. Your love is so real to me, and I’m glad that I have you in my life.
Happy birthday, my darling. You’ve made my world more beautiful, more peaceful, more joyful. I hope today brings you as much happiness as you bring me.
Every part of me loves every part of you, and today, I’m sending you even more love. Happy birthday, baby.
Happy birthday to the loml. With you, forever doesn’t feel long enough. I want to spend every second being in love and celebrating with you.
Happy birthday, my baby. You’ve turned every ordinary moment into something magical and meaningful. I’m wishing you a long life and prosperity.
Thank you for being my partner, my protector, and my peace in every season. The gift of your love is priceless, which is why I hope you love what I got you. Happy birthday, baby!
Happy birthday, baby. I’ll love you through all the seasons, all the birthdays, and all the tomorrows. Have an amazing day!
Happy birthday, my darling. You are the reason I believe in soulmates. May you always experience joy and success.
Happy birthday, baby boy. When I count my blessings, I count you twice—sometimes more because you are everything I’ve ever dreamed of and more. Have the best day ever today.
Happy birthday, my love. My only dream in life is to make you as happy as you make me. I love you forever.
Happy birthday to the man who still gives me butterflies and melts my heart. You’re the spark that lights up my life.
Happy birthday to the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m wishing you the best birthday ever.
Happy birthday, my darling. There’s no one else I’d rather grow old with, laugh with, and dream with. I hope you have an amazing day today.
Happy birthday, my love! Your love has made me the happiest version of myself. I hope this gift brings you just as much joy. Have an amazing time.
Happy birthday to my better half. I didn’t know love could feel this safe and thrilling all at once. Thank you for being amazing. Wishing you the very best of the year ahead.
Every birthday with you is a new chapter in our love story, and I can’t wait to write more. Happy birthday, baby!
Long Heart Touching Birthday Wishes for your Boyfriend
Sometimes, a short message just isn’t enough to capture the depth of your feelings. These long heart touching birthday wishes for your boyfriend read like personal love letters.
They’re to express deep gratitude, admiration, and connection, helping you show your boyfriend exactly how much he means to you.
Happy birthday, my love. Every day I spend with you is a gift, but today is all about celebrating you. You’ve brought so much light into my life, and I hope this year brings you everything you’ve ever dreamed of. I’ll always be with you, cheering you on and loving you endlessly.
Happy birthday, my sweetheart. Thank you for being the incredible person that you are. Your strength, kindness, and patience inspire me every day. I’m so lucky to have you in my life, and I want to spend every waking moment showing you how much you mean to me.
To the man who stole my heart, I hope your birthday is full of the love and happiness you give so freely to others. Your presence in my life is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love you more than you’ll ever know.
Happy birthday to the most amazing boyfriend in the world. You’ve brought me endless joy, unwavering support, and a love deeper than words. You deserve the entire universe, and I want to spend my days trying to give it to you.
Happy birthday to my sunshine, my rock, my everything. Today, we celebrate your life and the love we share. Thank you for always being there, for making me laugh, and for loving me just the way I am. I love you more and more with each passing day.
Happy birthday, my bae. I can’t imagine life without you. You’ve changed me in the best ways and made me believe in love again. I hope your birthday is as beautiful as your soul. Here’s to more years together.
Happy birthday to the one who knows my heart better than anyone. Thank you for making me feel safe, cherished, and loved. You are my greatest blessing.
Every birthday with you is a reminder of how lucky I am. Your smile, your kindness, and your love have made my life infinitely better. I hope your day is everything you want and more. Happy birthday!
Today, I celebrate you, the man who makes every ordinary day extraordinary. You’ve made me laugh, you’ve held me through tears, and you’ve loved me through it all. Happy birthday, my heart.
I wish I could bottle up every moment we’ve shared and relive them all today. Your love is my favourite memory and my constant motivation. Happy birthday, darling. I love you always.
Thank you for making me feel beautiful, inside and out. You’re more than my boyfriend, you’re my best friend, my comfort, and my future. Happy birthday, love.
I hope today brings you peace, joy, and everything you’ve ever dreamed of. You’ve given me so much, and I can’t wait to return the favour by making your day special. Happy birthday, sweetheart.
To the one who fills my heart with love and my mind with hope, I wish you a birthday filled with laughter, hugs, and everything that brings you happiness.
You have this amazing way of making everything feel right, just by being you. Happy birthday to my safe space and my favourite person.
Happy birthday, sweetheart. From day one, you’ve shown me what true love looks like. You’ve been my biggest cheerleader, my comfort, and my inspiration. I love you so much. Have an amazing birthday, babe.
No matter how crazy life gets, I know I have you, and that makes everything seem possible. Happy birthday to the love of my life.
Happy birthday, my baby. Life with you is a gift I never take for granted. On your birthday, I want to say thank you for everything you are and all that you do.
Your love has transformed me in the best ways. Thank you for always believing in us. I hope this birthday is as amazing as you are.
I used to wish for someone like you, but now I get to wish you a happy birthday. You have no idea how much brighter you have made my life. I love you deeply. Happy birthday, and I wish you an amazing day.
Happy birthday to the guy who makes me laugh the loudest, love the hardest, and smile the widest. I adore you like birds love the sky.
Happy birthday to my superstar! You bring out the best in me and inspire me every single day.
On your birthday, I want to remind you of how special and loved you are. We’re going to be giving you gifts today, but you are the best gift.
Happy birthday, ife mi. I hope your day is filled with everything you love: drinks with the boys, quiet moments of joy, and kisses from me. You deserve it all.
Happy birthday, my lover. I love you so much, I’d choose you in this life and every life after. I wish you the happiest birthday!
You’ve turned my life into a beautiful adventure. Thank you for loving me through it all. Here’s to you today and always. Happy birthday!
I’m so proud of the man you are and the journey you’re on. Today, we celebrate your heart, your dreams, and everything you are. Happy birthday, my love.
Happy birthday, my love! You bring the kind of joy a person gets to experience only once in a lifetime. I hope your birthday is filled with magic, memories, and more love than you can handle.
Happy birthday to my north star. Your love is like a lighthouse in the dark, always showing me the way home. I love you so much and I’m wishing you the best on your big day.
I can’t believe another year has gone by. Being at the forefront of your growth this year has been a fantastic privilege. I wish you even more success as you grow a year older.
Happy birthday, my darling. There aren’t enough words in the dictionary to capture just how much I adore you. I wish you the most amazing birthday yet.
Happy birthday, baby. You’re ageing like the finest wine. I wish you many happy returns and even more birthdays with me by your side.
Cheers for the birthday boy! On your special day, I want to wrap you up in love and affection. You are everything I ever wished for, and so much more. Here’s to more wins, more kisses, and more birthdays to celebrate together.
Happy birthday to the man of my dreams. Every day with you is special, but your birthday is even more so. It reminds me of the day you were gifted to this world. I will always appreciate you. Have a blast today.
Happy birthday, baby, you are a star! Nothing about you is ordinary or simple. You have the most beautiful and warm spirit, and I love to celebrate you. Have an amazing day.
Happy birthday, my champion. You are everything I have wished for and more. I love you to pieces, and I can’t wait for even more celebrations ahead of us.
Happy birthday to the hardest-working man I know. You inspire not just me but every single person who interacts with you. My birthday wish for you this year is that you get to see the remarkable impact you have on those around you. I love you.
Happy birthday, star boy. You are the reason each day is full of happiness for me. I never could have imagined a love like yours, like ours. May we always have this joy to share with each other.
Happy birthday, sweetheart. I love you so much, my heart feels like it will burst. You fill every vein in my body with happiness. I pray that this happiness finds you this new year. Enjoy your day!
Happy birthday, darling! I wish I could give you the world as a present, but since I can’t, please manage my heart, filled to the brim with love for you. Wishing you an amazing day.
The air is filled with birthday cheer! You are the reason I always have a smile on my face and peace in my heart. I can no longer imagine the future without you in it. I can’t wait for all the wonderful memories we’ll make. Have a great day today, baby.
Happy birthday, my love. Your love lights up all the dark corners of my heart. I appreciate all that you do for me, and I will pay it back by loving you with all my heart. Wishing you the very best this year.
Happy birthday to my favourite person in the world. You make every part of me burst with happiness. You are the reason I can face anything that comes my way. I’m so happy to celebrate with you on your special day. Have a great one.
Happy birthday to my best friend and confidant. You are a wonderful, beautiful person, and I am so privileged to know and love you. I can’t wait to see how many more layers of you I can discover. Have an amazing time.
To the one who makes loving so easy, happy birthday. You are my soft landing, my escape, and my peace. I wouldn’t trade you for the world.
Happy birthday to the best man to ever do it. You are a shining light, and you transform everything you touch, even me. I’m so glad we get to celebrate another year. I will always love and adore you.
Birthdays are the perfect excuse to be just the right amount of annoying to the love of your life. These playful, funny birthday messages are for the boyfriend who makes you laugh, rolls his eyes at your jokes, or sends you memes at 3 AM.
These funny birthday wishes keep things lighthearted while still showing how much you love him.
Happy birthday, babe! You’re one year older, wiser, and still somehow convinced that Arsenal will win the match when you wear your jersey. MMS.
Congrats on surviving another year of me stealing your hoodies. I cannot promise that your closet will rest, but I’m still wishing you a happy birthday.
Happy birthday to the guy who puts up with me even though I never know what I want to eat, even after all these years. You’ve tried, well done.
Congratulations, you’re a year older! I will always love you, even when your hairline starts running away from your forehead.
Happy birthday to the man who makes my heart race. It’s usually because you’re stressing me, but I still love you, sha.
I was going to get you something amazing for your birthday, but then I remembered you already have the best gift of all, me. You’re welcome and happy birthday.
Cheers to another year of you being ridiculously good-looking and only slightly annoying. Balance is important in everything. Have an amazing day, babe.
You’re the amala to my owambe, the groundnut to my boli, the ketchup to my fries, and the reason I sometimes question my sanity. Happy birthday, I love you to the moon and back!
Happy birthday to the man who stole my heart. I’m going to tell your mummy you’re a thief. Siri, play “Ole” by 2face.
Another 365 days of you saying “I’m stuck in traffic” when you’ve not even left your house. Happy birthday, my king of punctuality, I love you even if we’re always late.
To my favourite wahala partner—thanks for always making me laugh, even when I want to block you. Happy birthday, baby!
Happy birthday, my love. Congratulations on getting a year older. I’ve told Igwe to prepare an award for you, stay ready.
Happy birthday to a star boy. Your face dey show, and your shoe dey shine. Enjoy a fabulous day!
I wanted to send you money for your birthday, but I remembered you still owe me ₦5k from February. Use that to get yourself something cute. I love you. Happy birthday!
Happy birthday to the man who calls himself a chef because he added some carrots to his noodles. Iron Chef no do reach you, have a lovely day , babe.
Happy birthday, my love. You’ve survived another year of my wahala, and I’m so proud of you. You deserve cake, jollof, and a statue.
Cheers to a new age, babe! Wishing you long life, good health, and the wisdom to finally know when I’m angry without me saying it.
Happy Birthday to my babe, I love you even though you ate six wraps of pounded yam in front of me yesterday. God go make you bigger.
Wishing you a happy birthday, womb escape, earthside emergence, born day and annual age acknowledgement. You deserve a lambo.
Happy birthday to the fine boy who stresses me as much as he makes me laugh. I love you forever.
These messages are filled with heartfelt birthday prayers and blessings for love, protection, success, and joy for your boyfriend. They are warm, personal, spiritually uplifting and sure to put a smile on his face.
Happy birthday, my lover. May God bless you with strength, wisdom, and guidance as you add another year of life.
On your birthday, I pray that God showers you with mercy, grants you blessings in your life, and answers all your silent prayers. May your faith continue to increase in Him.
Happy birthday, lover. I pray that in this new age, God enlarges your territory, protects your spirit, and blesses you with the desires of your heart.
Happy birthday to a man after God’s heart. I pray God blesses you with endless joy, success, and love this new year. May your limits continue to expand as you walk in His guidance.
As you celebrate your birthday today, may the Lord keep you grounded in love and bless you in every aspect of your life.
You’re my favourite blessing, and I pray you receive blessings from god in abundance. Happy birthday, baby.
May God’s protection never leave you, and may His love always surround you. I pray your new year is filled with purpose, joy, and countless answered prayers.
Happy birthday, my sweetheart. May God grant you favour with men, peace in your soul, and ease in all you do. Never forget I love you.
I pray the Most High sees your heart and rewards your hard work and sincerity. May this new age bring clarity, success, and growth into your life. Happy birthday!
May God bless your new year with purpose and peace. I ask that He continues to make you a man after His own heart. Happy birthday, my darling.
May Allah grant you wisdom, rizq, and tranquillity as you step into this new chapter. Happy birthday, and may this year exceed your expectations.
May heaven smile on you today and always. I pray that this new age strengthens your spirit and fulfils your heart. Happy birthday, baby!
On your birthday, I pray that Allah increases your blessings, forgives your past mistakes, and fills your life with meaningful joy.
May the Lord establish you in all your ways and make His face shine upon you. On this special day, I want to let you know that you’re deeply loved and divinely favoured.
Happy birthday, my king. May Allah write your name among the successful and place light in your path always.
May God renew your strength, replenish your soul, and give you reasons to smile every single day of this year. Have an amazing birthday, my love.
I pray that Allah keeps your heart firm, your intentions pure, and your journey straight. I love you with all that is within me.
May God’s hand be upon you as you rise into greatness. I declare joy, increase, and peace over this new year. I pray this birthday is everything you hoped for, and more.
On your birthday, I pray that Allah surrounds you with loyal people, opens new doors of opportunity, and grants your heart’s prayers. I love you.
Happy birthday, babe. May the Holy Spirit fill you with insight, calm, and a sense of direction in all your decisions. You will always have a place in my heart.
Happy birthday, my love! I pray that as you mark this day, God makes your success loud, your heart peaceful, and your faith unshakable. May your path always be easy.
Happy birthday, boo. May God continue to prove Himself faithful to you. You are covered and deeply cherished.
As you celebrate today, may Allah answer your heartfelt du’as and be with you every step of the way as you become a year older. I love you.
Happy birthday, my bobo! May God align your path with purpose, guide your thoughts with wisdom, and fill your life with favour.
May God increase your wisdom, enrich your spirit, and water your dreams until they manifest beautifully. Wishing you the happiest birthday ever.
On this new journey around the sun, I pray Allah grants you the strength to overcome every obstacle and faith that never fades. Have a great day, babe.
May God continue to bless the works of your hands and crown your efforts with success. Happy birthday, my love.
May the Lord lift you above your fears and help you walk boldly in your destiny. You are chosen for greatness. Happy birthday, my darling.
Happy birthday! I pray Allah grants you sincere joy, noble friends, and a heart that always remembers Him.
On this birthday, I pray that God sends you the right people, opens the right doors, and gives you peace even in uncertainty. You deserve every blessing, and I’ll never stop interceding for you.
I pray your new age is filled with Allah’s mercy and divine alignment. May your intentions lead you to greatness. Happy birthday!
May your birthday be the start of a year filled with answered prayers, growth, and unwavering peace in your soul. God is with you every step of the journey.
May Allah write joy and prosperity into your story this year. Happy birthday to the one my heart loves.
On your birthday, I pray God makes a way for you even where there seems to be none. You are stronger and more favoured than you know.
I pray Allah blesses you with health that strengthens you, faith that guides you, and friends who uplift you. Have a great birthday, my star.
Happy birthday, my lover. May God walk beside you this year, blessing you with courage, wisdom, and happiness that doesn’t cease.
As you grow another year older, may Allah surround you with positive energy, protect your heart, and provide all your needs. Happy birthday, sugar.
Happy birthday, sweetie! May you walk in God’s promises this year, confidently and joyfully. I pray that increase beyond your imagination finds you this year.
I pray God places peace in your heart and success in all your endeavors. You’re a light, and I’m grateful to know you and celebrate with you on your special day. Happy birthday.
May God keep you far from harm, closer to purpose, and always in the company of love.
I pray this year brings you closer to Allah and to the best version of yourself. May your birthday be a reminder of all the blessings that are still to come.
Happy birthday, babe. May the Lord refresh your spirit and surround you with people who see your worth. May joy flow unbridled into your life as you make another trip around the sun.
May Allah multiply your joys and forgive your shortcomings. May this birthday start your best chapter yet. Sending you the best wishes, babe.
I pray that the peace of God will rule in your heart and that the blessings of heaven will rain upon you this year. Have a blessed, divinely protected birthday.
Happy birthday, loml! Pray for you that Allah may bless your mind with clarity, your days with productivity, and your nights with restful peace.
Happy birthday! May God surprise you with answered prayers and opportunities that show you how loved you are. May His wisdom guide you in all that you do.
I pray Allah preserves your joy, strengthens your Imaan, and brings you ease in every challenge. Wishing you the best cake day!
To the best birthday boy, may the grace of God go before you and the goodness of God follow you. You are protected, cherished, and loved deeply. Have a wonderful birthday.
As you turn a year older today, may Allah never leave you empty-handed. May every effort bring reward, and every prayer bring peace.
Long-distance relationships are not easy. Between the yearning and your partner’s absence, being apart can be tough, especially on important celebratory days, but the right words can help you close the distance and celebrate with birthday wishes for your long-distance boyfriend.
These birthday wishes for your long-distance boyfriend will remind him that your heart is right there with him, no matter the distance.
Happy birthday, my love. Even though we’re miles apart today, my love is wrapped around your heart, and I’m sending you all my warmth and affection.
I wish I could be there to hug you tight and kiss you senseless, but for now, I’ll settle for reminding you how madly in love I am with you. Happy birthday, baby.
Every part of me wants to be by your side today. But even from a distance, I hope you feel how deeply loved and celebrated you are. I’m wishing you the best birthday!
Happy birthday to the man I miss every single day. Being apart only makes me realise how much you mean to me—and how lucky I am to call you mine. Have an amazing day today.
If love could fly, I’d be in your arms by now. Happy birthday, babe. I’m counting down the days till I can hold you again.
The distance might keep us apart physically, but nothing can dim how brightly I love you. Happy birthday to my favourite person in the world.
Long-distance love isn’t easy, but you make it worth every second. Happy birthday to the one I can’t wait to build a future with.
You’re far away today, but your love is right here with me. A constant, beautiful reminder of how much I miss you. Happy birthday, my darling.
Happy birthday, babe! I know this distance is temporary, but our love is forever, and that’s what makes every lonely day easier. Have the best time today!
I’m proud of you, I miss you, and I love you more than words can hold. I can’t wait to see you soon. Happy birthday to the strongest man I know.
Even oceans apart, you still manage to make my heart skip several beats. Happy birthday to my man, you who make every kilometre between us worth it.
I miss your laugh, your hugs, and the way you light up a room, but today, I celebrate your amazing spirit. Happy birthday, baby.
No matter how far you are, you live in my thoughts and in every beat of my heart. Happy birthday, baby. Next year, we’re celebrating together!
Wishing you all the love and joy your heart can hold today. And just know, my arms will be the first place you run to when we meet again. Have an amazing day today.
Distance can’t dull the joy you bring to my life. Happy birthday to the one who owns my heart, even from afar.
Sammie*(23) thought he had found love in medical school, but he soon discovered his girlfriend had other plans — wedding plans — that didn’t include him.
This is Sammie’s story, as told to Betty
I’ve been a medical student in Northern Nigeria for the last two years, but I only realised how conservative it is here a few months ago.
In January, I moved to a new campus to begin my third year of medical school. I’d spent the first two years on a different campus in a more liberal part of town, which wasn’t much different to the life I was used to in Southern Nigeria.
However, in this neck of the woods, things like dating and intimacy only happen in secret. Dating isn’t outrightly forbidden, but the girls here prefer to get married early to much older men, so there aren’t a lot of couples on our campus.
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I met Aisha* the first week I moved here. She was a beautiful fifth-year student who sold snacks and cold drinks. Within a few days of banter, we had formed a quick friendship. A friend told me Aisha was already dating someone, so I had my eye out for another beautiful girl in my class.
However, during my first month here, Aisha and I got really close, and I began to develop feelings for her. As our bond deepened, though, I noticed some things about her.
First, she constantly stressed how private she was and didn’t like people seeing us together. In fact, because of her near-obsessive need to be private, she once pretended to take a phone call and ran off when a mutual friend noticed we were hanging out outside her hostel and tried to say hello. I assumed she was just shy. When I asked her about it, she said she just didn’t want to mix her friend groups, which I understood.
Another thing that stood out to me was that Aisha didn’t talk about her past relationships at all. She would dodge or change the subject if I tried to ask questions about her past. I had a situationship end abruptly in December, and her reason was that I pestered her about topics she didn’t like talking about. So, I didn’t want to make the same mistake with Aisha and let the matter be.
By mid-February, Aisha and I had started getting intimate, but we kept it very low-key because, remember, she liked her privacy. I had already caught feelings by this time, but I waited until March to tell her I didn’t want something casual with her; I wanted us to build something serious. She said yes, and just like that, I had a beautiful, intelligent girlfriend who was going to be a doctor.
Our relationship was great. Aisha had a fun personality that brought out the best in me, and after long days in class or the clinic, it was pleasant to unwind with her. One day, after a gruelling day in class, I was wrapped in her arms, decompressing for the day, when she asked me a question that made my blood chill.
“So, how would you feel if I got married while we were doing this?”
The question threw me for a loop. We had just started dating, so marriage wasn’t a topic we were discussing yet. I dismissed it as a joke, but she was very serious. She said she had just turned 25 and her parents were pressuring her to get married, so she had to pick a suitor soon.
I was aghast. Aisha had let me assume we were the same age, 23, so her revelation surprised me. I didn’t mind dating someone older, but she couldn’t be seen dating someone younger because of how conservative the area was. That’s when I understood that she wasn’t keeping our relationship private; she was keeping it a secret.
I asked Aisha why she got into a relationship with me if she knew she wanted to be married in a few months. She said she didn’t think it was a big deal, and that since I wasn’t going to marry her, I should make way for the person who would. She also said marriage didn’t have to disrupt what we had.
According to her, her ex had cut her off three years ago because she resisted their arranged marriage, and it had hurt to lose their friendship. She didn’t want that to happen to us.
I couldn’t bring myself to believe her. I understood the parental pressure she was facing and told her she could either be actively interviewing suitors for marriage or be with me, but not both.
Aisha made her choice. She’d keep talking to suitors for her arranged marriage. That was the last time I spoke to her. I blocked her everywhere. I couldn’t eat or study for a few days after our split— I even failed an important paper because of it.
Just last week, at the start of May, Aisha sent me several messages and voice notes on Snapchat — an app I rarely use — saying she couldn’t believe I broke up with her and explaining how disappointed she was that I threw our love away over what she considered a workable issue. I replied, telling her how much she hurt me, then I blocked her there, too.
I still see her on the campus almost every day, but I act like I never knew her. At first, she tried to get a response from me, but now she just looks at me sadly from across the hallways and streets.
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The worst part is that the other babe in my class I was eyeing has a new boyfriend, so I can’t shift my focus to her. I’m too wary to date anyone else from here. I’m afraid they, too, will suddenly start planning weddings that don’t include me.
I’ve decided to focus on my studies instead; at least I know what to expect there.
*Names have been changed to protect the identities of the subjects.
The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.
*Jack refers to his partner in gender-neutral pronouns, they/them.
How long have you been with your partner?
Pat and I have been together since 2020, so that’s five years.
How did you meet?
We met during the 2020 lockdown. A mutual friend shared their contact, and we started talking over the phone. I wasn’t looking for anything more than friendship because I was in another relationship. Things weren’t great with my ex, but I was trying to figure things out with them.
However, four or five months after I started talking with Pat, I realised my relationship was beyond saving. Among other things, it bugged me that my ex and I lived in the same city, but they didn’t prioritise trying to see me. My job as a journalist allowed me to move around during the lockdown, and I kept asking to come see them, but they kept giving me different excuses.
Yet Pat lived in a whole other state, several kilometres away, and they came down to Lagos to see me immediately after the lockdown lifted in August. At that point, I decided to stop pushing things with my ex. Pat asked that we be together, and we made things official.
You both lived in different states at this point?
Yes. Pat was in their final year at school, but the ASUU strike and lockdown allowed us to spend a lot of time together. We did a lot of travelling back and forth, and they stayed at my place for long periods. The first visit was about two weeks, then the next one lasted for three months.
Who financed these trips?
I was the financially buoyant one, so I handled the expenses. Pat had a few hustles in school, but I had a stable ₦200k salary, not including the extra money I made from the occasional writing side gigs.
Bus trips were a recurring expense in the first year — about ₦40k for a round trip. We also had date nights. I was very into the entertainment scene, so I always dragged Pat along to art exhibitions, fashion shows, restaurants and movie dates.
We often hung out with friends and got outfits together. It was the honeymoon phase, so we did all the works. Each outing typically cost ₦50k – ₦60k, and this happened every two weeks. Pat often chipped in for the expenses as well. It was a very give-and-take situation. I could organise date night this weekend, and they’d make plans for the following weekend.
Sounds like you had a working system
Yeah, and seeing someone willing to spend their last cash on me was really nice. Once, they offered to send me the last ₦2k in their account because I was broke. Gifting is my love language, and I always try to achieve balance in giving. If someone gives me something, I want to give back, so it’s not like I’m just taking.
Knowing Pat was open to sharing their limited finances made it more natural for me to do the same. In the early days of our relationship, Pat was uncomfortable with that. They’d complain, saying, “Every time I give you something, it feels like you are returning it. You always find something to give me in return, and it makes me uncomfortable.” But that’s me, and we just accept it.
In 2021, Pat graduated from uni and moved in with me in Lagos. This was about five months into the relationship. I didn’t even have a say in the moving-in part, but we’ve lived together ever since.
How come you didn’t have a say about them moving in?
So, Pat already knew they were coming to Lagos for their residency. It was somewhat delayed because of the lockdown and strike, so when it came, they just said, “I’m moving in.”
I didn’t like having people in my space for long stretches of time, and I told them this, but they just said, “You’ll learn to get comfortable with it.”
And did you get comfortable with it?
Well, we still live together. It was easier to adjust than I imagined. I think when you love somebody, you just find a way to create space for them. I adjusted pretty quickly.
Remember I said I was the financially buoyant one? That changed when we started living together. Pat found an online customer service gig with an international communications company that paid by the hour. I think the base pay was $2, and the rate increased with the number of hours worked. For instance, you could work $3/hour for one hour, but if you worked five hours, it’d increase to $5/hour.
I initially didn’t pay much attention to the gig because it was just a few dollars per hour, but Pat kept asking me to try it, so I relented and took it as a side gig. Within a few months, the exchange rate skyrocketed, and the pay began to make sense. I started making $350 – $500/month, and Pat made $750-$800.
We’ve stuck with the company since — I made it my full-time job in 2023 — and our income has grown a lot. I now earn an average of ₦2.2m/month (minus the odd writing gig), and Pat makes about ₦200k more because they started ahead of me and are now like my boss. You know what’s great about earning much more now?
What’s that?
Money has helped our relationship. Don’t let anyone lie to you, money is very important in a relationship. Love is sweet, but it’s sweeter when there’s money. Friends always ask how we’ve stayed together so long, and money is a major reason.
As much as I love gifting my partner, I also like being cared for and pampered. There’s a comfort in telling your partner you want something and they can afford to get it for you.
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True. What kind of money conversations do you both have?
I’m more financially prudent, so I often try to get them to set financial structures and stick to budgets.
For instance, Pat is their family’s breadwinner, and when we first met, they were drowning under black tax obligations. I taught them the system I use with family, which is to put everyone on an allowance, and once that finishes, it’s until the next month.
We often clash over budgets. I don’t pull out money randomly. If I want to buy an item, I budget a certain amount for that item and don’t go overboard. On the other hand, Pat tends to spend a bit more money on items, even items we don’t need. I always say, “Just because you can afford it, doesn’t mean you should buy it.”
To be honest, their purchasing decisions sometimes make sense. I once wanted us to buy a cheaper blender, but they insisted on a better one since they do all the cooking. We bought the more expensive blender, and two weeks later, the price went up. If we’d bought the cheap blender, we would’ve had to replace it after a while at a more expensive price.
Speaking of, how do you both share the expenses at home?
We split everything 50-50, so we each contribute ₦120k monthly to cover grocery shopping, and Pat does the market runs. We also share rent equally. When we first started living together, we lived in my mini flat. But last year, we moved into a three-bedroom apartment for more space. The total package was ₦4.5m, and the annual rent is ₦3.2m.
For other small expenses, each person pays out of pocket without necessarily asking for a refund. For instance, I pay for the cleaner who comes every week and buy toiletries like toothpaste. Pat is the perfume person, so they buy things like perfume and kitchen utensils.
We sometimes argue about expenses, especially the question of who buys the fuel. We have an inverter, but Pat plays video games a lot, which kills the inverter. That means we have to buy fuel of ₦20k-₦25k every two days. I consistently refuse to buy the fuel, and Pat argues that I use the generator, too. But, hey, I didn’t kill the inverter.
Our finances are generally very open. We’re transparent with our earnings, and they have access to all my banking information.
Interesting. How about date and romance expenses?
We don’t budget for dates; they come randomly. We both work from home, and the honeymoon phase is over, so we hardly go out anymore.
We gift each other a lot, though. Neither of us can go clothes shopping without buying something for the other. Sometimes, I get random deliveries at home, or they go out and get me food from our favourite restaurants.
How are you both thinking about safety nets?
I take my savings and investment portfolio very seriously. I currently have about ₦15m in investments on Piggyvest and RiseVest, and another ₦5m in my mutual funds. I also have two plots of land, and I plan to acquire a plot of land every year for the next 10 years.
Pat, however, is reluctant to take risks or try growing their money with investment platforms. They prefer to look at their account balance in a traditional bank. I think they have about ₦12m in the bank.
Last month, I asked a friend to draw up plans for me because I’m considering investing in stocks, and Pat said, “You don’t carry me along in your financial moves.” That shocked me because I’ve always preached about investments and told them about every move I make. I even tried to get them to partner with me and purchase an acre of land for a real estate project last year, but they were too scared to lose money, and I lost that opportunity.
But recently, it looks like they’ve started trying to replicate my portfolio. They asked about mutual funds and also bought a plot of land. So, maybe there’s hope for them.
Out of curiosity, what’s the most challenging aspect of living with someone for so long?
Adjusting to a different personality. I have a way I like things getting done, and sometimes I tend to forget we are not the same person, and we didn’t have the same upbringing.
Sometimes, I flip out over something, and when I calm down, I realise I could have handled it better. I just constantly remind myself that everything does not have to be how I always want it to be.
What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?
Ideally? To retire at 40 and travel the world. But realistically, the kind of financial freedom I want isn’t going to magically happen in eight years. So, maybe in the next 20 years, or when I build my portfolio to $300m.
As a couple, I’ve started broaching the topic of joint accounts and investments, but the one thing holding me back is our different risk appetites. I don’t want to rely on Pat for every financial opportunity that I think we can seize because there’s a chance they’ll have cold feet. We’ve earned almost the same amount of money for years, and there’s a big disparity in our assets and financial choices.
I just want them to get to a point where they’re financially conscious like me and comfortable taking calculated risks so we can be prepared for the long term, especially in a country like Nigeria, where you never know what will happen next.
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*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.
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*Jide, a 42-year-old Lagos transporter, thought nothing could hurt more than the accident that left him on crutches. That was until his ‘wife’ moved in with another man while he was still hospitalised. Now, after twelve years and a custody battle, he’s struggling to stay in touch with his kids and move on from the relationship.
This is Jide’s story as told to Mofiyinfoluwa
I met *Yemisi in 2009 through a mutual friend. I was a cobbler at the time, and she must have been about 21. We started as friends, but things moved fast, and she became the first woman I truly loved. When she got pregnant a year later, I helped her set up a baby care stall. We had a small family introduction and moved in together. That’s when I started seeing sides of her I never knew existed.
We used to fight a lot because Yemisi was too outgoing and loved to party, even when I was against it. I also hated that she couldn’t keep anything to herself. Her mother would hear about every little disagreement we had, and before I knew it, she’d show up to pack her daughter’s belongings. I’ve always believed misunderstandings are normal, but if we can’t even settle and move on, then what are we doing? Yemisi always had to be right; there would be no peace if I disagreed. One time, we were arguing and she grabbed my shirt. I told her to let go or I’d slap her, but before I finished the sentence, she slapped me.
Things got worse after she gave birth to our second child. That’s when friends—even my exes— started pulling me aside to say, “Your wife has become an ashewo,” or “She’s sleeping with so and so.” She lived with me as my wife, but still did all sorts with area boys.
At first, I didn’t want to believe it. Then came the day I gave her money to cook soup, only to catch her taking it to another man. I lost it. I poured the soup away and beat her out of frustration. Her mum rushed over, caused a scene, and took her away. But when she slapped me first in a past fight, that wasn’t a problem for them.
After some months apart, I begged for her forgiveness, and she returned with the children. I tried to be very loving to her — I cooked, washed her clothes, and helped out however I could. My friends mocked and called me a “woman wrapper”, but I did it because I believed love meant service. I never wanted to treat my wife like a slave. Still, she never respected me the way I respected her. I remember the night a close friend of mine got stranded and needed a place to sleep. Even though our room self-contained was spacious, Yemisi refused to let him in. The guy had to sleep in the stairway passage. A few days later, when her goods supplier came late at night, she told me to sleep outside.
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I never once cheated on her. Yes, I had problems with alcohol and smoking, but sex wasn’t a big deal to me. This even affected our relationship because I didn’t realise she needed more sex than I was giving. Instead of sharing her concerns, she went to other men when she felt unsatisfied. I only found out how much sex meant to her when friends recommended some herbal mixtures that helped me get better. That was when she confessed that our sex life was the main reason she started sleeping around.
Of course, our improved sex didn’t stop her. She was getting more money from the men she was sleeping with than my cobbling job could provide. Soon after, she did the worst thing ever. In 2012, I had a terrible accident that left me bedridden for over a month. While I lay in the hospital fighting for my life, Yemisi packed her things and moved in with another man. Not once did she check on me.
Those were the darkest months of my life. I was depressed, broke, and looked like a madman. I drank Ogogoro all day, wore the same clothes for months, and begged her mum and sister to help me get her back. Then one day, her sister called me aside and told me, “Even if you had died, she won’t cry. Move on.” That was my wake-up call.
It took me nearly two years, but I picked myself up, quit smoking and saved money. Soon, I bought my first vehicle and became a transporter. When Yemisi noticed my upgrade, she came back begging. I forgave her, but deep down, things were not the same. I still harboured resentment towards her for abandoning me. We had our third child a year into reconciliation.
The final straw came in 2020 when I caught her red-handed, riding a man I knew. A man I considered a friend. I told her to pack out. She did, and when she left, she took everything: the TV, generator, even the kitchen cabinet.
Not long after, I heard she started dating an Alfa and used charm to collect nearly ₦2,000,000 from him before she abandoned him and moved to a married man who was funding her lifestyle. I should have known she couldn’t build a life with me. I was a struggling transporter.
It pains me that I barely see my children. She makes it difficult, and my job doesn’t give me time. I give them whatever they ask for when they call, but that’s all I can do. She has dragged me to two human rights courts. The first one favoured her. At the second, they checked my records and saw I’d sent almost ₦400k in under six months. When they asked me to commit to ₦100k monthly, I told them it was impossible as a transporter. We settled on ₦70k, but when I asked for weekend custody, she refused. The court finally ruled that if she wouldn’t let me see them, they couldn’t force me to pay.
Now, my only daughter is barely 13 and already lives with a man. I had to involve the police to scare her out of the place. I’m afraid she’s already turning out like her mother. A guilt I can’t explain has been eating me up lately.
I tried moving on by dating again, but it was a miss. She stole ₦300k from my cupboard and ran off to a cultist. I got some of the money back, but the experience scarred me. I’ve been single since then. These days, I work all day, eat and get drunk at roadside joints, and sometimes visit brothels when I feel lonely. I’ve lost hope in love. I believe Lagos Island women don’t want men who will love and caution them; they just want money and freedom.
I’m focused on working hard, healing slowly, and hoping that someday, someone will love me for real.
When Chigozie*(31) first met Lawrence in 2014, he seemed like the perfect welcome-home package: good-looking, charming, and deeply interested in her. What started as casual dating spiraled into a messy situationship filled with financial favours, emotional manipulation, and one unforgettable betrayal.
Years later, at her lowest point, when all she needed was a friend, the same man she’d helped when he had nothing left her on read — literally and emotionally.
This is Chigozie’s story, as told to Betty
In September 2014, I moved back to Nigeria after finishing my degree. I had lived in the UK since I was 15, so returning to Nigeria felt like a homecoming. I didn’t have any friends in the country — only family — but I didn’t mind. I was curious to see what the future had in store.
I landed an internship in Lagos, and one day, while buying pastries during my lunch break, I met Lawrence. He caught my attention because he was really good-looking. Like me, he’d been raised in a wealthy family, but his dad had abandoned them, and they’d fallen on hard times.
He seemed interested in me, and I was looking for a good time, so I gave him my number and we started getting to know each other. I learned that his dad was Lebanese, and his abandonment had forced Lawrence to drop out of university. We got really close, and eventually started dating.
The sexual chemistry between us was undeniable, but so were the red flags that began popping up.
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First, he was always broke. I initially assumed it was because of his dad’s abandonment, so I tried to help out by lending him money whenever he asked. But over time, it became clear that he had no real interest in improving his situation.
Secondly, he was wildly insecure. Whenever we had a minor disagreement, he’d say things like, “It’s because I don’t have money,” or “Nobody wants to help me.” On top of that, he was also quick to bring up my weight when he was feeling defensive because he knew I was sensitive about it.
He was surprised I wasn’t more docile after living abroad and mentioned it enough times to annoy me. So after six months, I broke off the relationship.
But Lawrence didn’t let me go. He called me constantly and sent messages professing his love. After two months of his badgering, I decided to give him and the relationship another shot.
Then came the final straw. Shortly after we got back together, Lawrence called me to ask for a large loan. He wanted to start an agricultural business, and begged me to invest. But even though the sex was still great, I could no longer see myself seriously dating someone I was constantly lending money to. I explained this to him and gave him two options: we could stay in a relationship, or he could take the money and we’d just be friends with benefits.
To my surprise, he chose the money. I didn’t mind, though — I enjoyed the sex much more than I liked him.
So I lent him ₦4 million, and we continued our casual arrangement. This was 2016, and I told him there was no rush to pay me back; he could start repayments whenever he felt financially stable. He was really grateful and assured me that I would be on the business’s directorial board, which I agreed to since I had been looking for good investment opportunities anyway.
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By the time 2020 rolled around, I was struggling. Lockdown had left me jobless, and I decided I was going to be celibate for a while. Lawrence, on the other hand, was thriving. He’d gotten a new life-changing job, and his dad had even reconciled with the family. I was really happy for him, but I was going through my own struggles. I tried to share some of this with him, but he didn’t seem very interested.
Once we stopped having casual sex, I noticed Lawrence growing distant. The calls stopped, and even though I kept reaching out — telling him how I felt, because he was still my only close friend in Nigeria — he barely responded. As time passed, my mental state worsened, and I became suicidal. I kept this hidden from my family because I didn’t want to burden them, but in desperation, I called Lawrence and told him everything. I told him I was scared I might hurt myself and needed someone to talk to. But he simply said he was “too busy to talk.”
That hurt. I had stood by him through a really rough period in his life, and I truly thought we were at least friends. This made me put some distance between us.
In 2021, Lawrence’s father passed away, and it was a tough time for his family. He reached out to tell me and said he wanted to start repaying the loan he owed me. I was relieved because I really needed the money. My family was helping keep me afloat, but I wanted to regain some financial independence.
When he missed his first promised payment, I asked how the business was doing, just to get a sense of his finances. That’s when things got strange. He became defensive, started ignoring my messages and dodging my calls. Suspicious, I checked the CAC website and discovered I wasn’t listed on his company’s board at all.
I tried confronting him, but he kept avoiding me. At that point, I decided to ignore him too. Honestly, I was even willing to let the money go if not for my mum and sister, who insisted I make sure to get it back.
In 2022, after months of trying to get my money back, Lawrence and I finally met to talk — honestly, I needed closure. That’s when I discovered that instead of making any effort to repay my money, he had bought a new car, started dating a university student, and upgraded his lifestyle. Every time I asked when he would start paying me back, he came up with one excuse after another.
I also tried to talk to him about how his absence had hurt me when I needed him most, but he kept dodging the topic. Instead of answering my questions, he switched to flattery, telling me I was the rock in his life, that I had changed his world, and how much he missed me. This only made me angrier; I felt like he was trying to play me for a fool.
That meeting made something click: I realised Lawrence would always be dubious and sneaky, no matter how much grace I gave him. After that, I told him never to contact me again. With my family’s support, I hired a lawyer to help retrieve the money he owed me. The whole experience left me gutted. Thankfully, with my sister’s encouragement, I’m now in therapy, working to heal.
Though it’s been more than a year since I last spoke to Lawrence, the hurt from his abandonment still lingers. I honestly don’t think I can ever befriend a man who’s had a crush on me or shown interest. There are just too many ways that kind of relationship can go south, and I’m not willing to find out again.
