relationships | Page 110 of 110

Statistics show that there are more women than men; and we know sharing is caring. Being a side-boyfriend can be one of the hardest and easiest jobs, depending on a lot of factors. If you have been failing or want to be better at it, this is the list for you.
1. First you have to know your position.

As a side boyfriend, set and respect your “boundaries”. No more no less. This is really important.
2. You have to be super caring.

Women love guys that are caring when their boyfriends are not doing their job.
3. You have to be this guy.

Because you will need to make her laugh when her boyfriend makes her sad.
4. No matter how boring her day was…

Always be ready to listen or pretend to listen.
5. Get rid of emotions.

Remind yourself, you are not the boyfriend. Think with your head always.
6. In case you are a very emotional person, you will need this.

Because these feelings like to creep in at unwanted or unnoticed times.
7. You have to step up your acting skills.

Just in case something goes wrong that was not planned for.
8. And when her relationship begins to have problems…

You have to be Dr. Phil and give her the best advice so she stays in the relationship.
9. And when the relationship is going too good and she forgets you.

Never forget. Just hold on.
10. You have to own one of these.

We don’t make the rules, but rumor has it that every side boyfriend has one of them.
11. You must always have one of these on standby.

For when she wants some in-house entertainment and distraction from her boyfriend.
12. But never forget.

Always stay and play safe.
Could it be? Maybe it is? Maybe he is…? There are so many perceptions about ladies being friend-zoned, here are some clear signs that will show you you are being drafted in that zone.
1. When your crush finally says “we should hang out”.

Making you feel he’s about to propose.
2. And while at it he says “You’re so nice”.

Nice? Do you mean nice enough to be your girlfriend?
3. Then he keeps inviting you to social gatherings… With his friends.

But you never go out alone together.
4. When he tries to introduce you as his new best friend.

Brother…this was not the perception or plan.
5. So you start throwing heavy hints.

I just thought to make you breakfast as your friend.
6. But he is acting “brand new”.

Please open your eyes.
7. When he tells you his girl problems.

Wait so I am not the only one?
8. And goes on to give you dating advice.

What are you doing?
9. So you push further with the hints.

Just thought to get you a gift.
10. And he says “I am not ready for commitment”.

Oh no. What have I done?
11. “I don’t want to ruin our friendship”

*cries in salt poured on an open wound*
12. So things get awkward super fast.

Everything has been ruined.
13. And the texts are now like…

Wow, what is life? Must be bad network.
14. And you start getting “Let me call you right back”.

Why is this happening to me?
15. And finally you understand.

That you have been awarded a seat, in the Friend-zone.
1. When all your friends are in relationships and nobody wants to hang out with you anymore.

All of you will soon break up.
2. Then you spot that fine boy.

I’m ready to devour you sir.
3. But you’re not sure if he’s a Yoruba demon.

If he’s a demon, then I’m a demon.
4. So you decide to send him a message.

Please don’t shatter my dreams, please don’t crush my heart.
5. Then he replies your message and subsequently falls into your trap.

HAHAHAHAHAHAPLEASEDATEMEHAHAHAHAAH
6. And you both fall in love with each other.

Bye bye single life!
7. When you have your first kiss.

Mills and boons where are my sparks?
8. Then you start to giggle each time you stare at your screen, and people look at you like you’re crazy.

Yes O. The spell of love. Don’t hate.
9. Then a random person starts flirting with bae.

Somebody wants to die.
10. You talk to bae about it and y’all have a huge fight.

Could this be the end?
11. Then people want to start toasting you randomly.

Where were all of you when I was single to stupor?
12. But deep down inside you miss bae.

What is this nonsense now?
13. So you decide to swallow your pride and apologise.

Ha ha. In your face haters!
14. And you have a long funny conversation afterwards.

Maybe the fight was worth the laughter.
15. Then bae has to go to school in another country.

Shebi they said absence makes the heart grow fonder. Then you remember ‘out of sight, out of mind’.
16. And you ask your parents if you can move there too and they say no.

*Cries in exchange rate*
17. And you wonder who sent you to fall in love.

I was on my own jeje and you came to love me.
18. And suddenly your life is an adaptation of Romeo and Juliet.

Who knew that heartbreak could hurt so much.
19. And you have to lay in a pool of your own tears.

At this rate, a swimming pool might be forming.
20. Then you remember your toasters.

Maybe it’s not the end of the world. Written by Zikoko Contributor Barakat Sheriff
As always, we are committed to your laughter and well being; so here to save you from a ravaged relationship and social suicide are 21 questions you should NEVER, never ever ask your/a Nigerian girl.

Some of these questions may not seem like a big deal right now, but trust us; you’ll thank us for this later:

1. What’s Your Body Count?

2. Do you have any siblings, like a younger sister, maybe?

3. When last did you change this profile picture?

4. How did you screw-up your last relationship?

5. How long does it take to put on all that make-up?

6. Did you know my aunt has that same kind of hairstyle?

7. Is it that time of the month?

8. Have you gained weight?

9. Is that what you’re going to wear?

10. Don’t you know how to cook?

11. Are you a virgin?

12. My ex-girlfriend used to do this. Can you do this too?

13. Are You Really Going To Eat All That?

14. Can We Have A Threesome?

15. Why are you single?

16. Are you bleaching?

17. What weave is that?

18. Why do you like wearing that gown?

19. Are you wearing a butt pad or is that your real ass?

20. Is this how you’ll behave in your husband’s house?

21. Is this how girls from your village behave?
If you’re reading this, you’re probably in love and fully believe your partner is the best thing on the planet since the invention of fried plantain. You’re probably also wondering: Will our love survive a long-distance relationship if it ever comes down to it?

Well, if you see the signs below, the odds are that the answer is probably “No”. Even if you aren’t in a relationship, you should watch out for these signs in the future.

They can go a day without speaking to you

If you’re a member of the “We don’t need to talk every day” WhatsApp group, sorry, but you don’t have any business being in love. How can I be the love of your life, and you don’t want to hear my voice or text me at least once a day? If that’s who your partner is, your relationship has an unfortunately low chance of successfully crossing the border.

You don’t discuss the future

A long-distance breakup is on the horizon if you and your partner do not have plans for a future together. Chances are, they’ll meet someone new over there, and if you were just dating for vibes, it’ll only make sense for them to move on. Remember, “Out of sight, out of mind”?

They like sleep too much

What do you mean your boo sleeps off 10 minutes into a phone call? Is that what we came to do here? Adulting is tiring, but love is a full-time job. If you want to do it, do it well.

They don’t have the Timon app

You can’t be serious about the future of your long-distance relationship if you don’t have the Timon app. It’s the one fintech app you need to simplify payments whenever you travel globally. Imagine planning a surprise trip to see your boo and then worrying about changing currencies or exchange rates, or worse, getting stranded in a new country. That won’t be you when you travel with Timon.

They have a favourite ex

Hot take, but if your partner is still fond of their ex, your relationship isn’t standing on steady ground, and there’s a chance everything will collapse over long-distance. On the bright side, you can also take over the position of favourite ex. Win-win, right?

Romance has gone on holiday

You’ve barely dated for a year, and you already feel like an old married couple? That doesn’t exactly spell confidence for a long-distance relationship that’ll rely on emotional connection rather than physical presence.

Speaking of holidays, you should know that Timon is the financial passport you need for global travel. Whether you’re planning a trip to surprise your partner, sending or receiving money internationally, travelling for work or just want to relax in a new location, Timon is the one fintech app you need.

Download the app here, sign up for the Timon Black Card using Apple Pay or Google Pay and make your money work everywhere, without limitations.

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1. First you have to know your position.

2. You have to be super caring.

3. You have to be this guy.

4. No matter how boring her day was…

5. Get rid of emotions.

6. In case you are a very emotional person, you will need this.

7. You have to step up your acting skills.

8. And when her relationship begins to have problems…

9. And when the relationship is going too good and she forgets you.

10. You have to own one of these.

11. You must always have one of these on standby.

12. But never forget.

1. When your crush finally says “we should hang out”.

2. And while at it he says “You’re so nice”.

3. Then he keeps inviting you to social gatherings… With his friends.

4. When he tries to introduce you as his new best friend.

5. So you start throwing heavy hints.

6. But he is acting “brand new”.

7. When he tells you his girl problems.

8. And goes on to give you dating advice.

9. So you push further with the hints.

10. And he says “I am not ready for commitment”.

11. “I don’t want to ruin our friendship”

12. So things get awkward super fast.

13. And the texts are now like…

14. And you start getting “Let me call you right back”.

15. And finally you understand.

1. When all your friends are in relationships and nobody wants to hang out with you anymore.

2. Then you spot that fine boy.

3. But you’re not sure if he’s a Yoruba demon.

4. So you decide to send him a message.

5. Then he replies your message and subsequently falls into your trap.

6. And you both fall in love with each other.

7. When you have your first kiss.

8. Then you start to giggle each time you stare at your screen, and people look at you like you’re crazy.

9. Then a random person starts flirting with bae.

10. You talk to bae about it and y’all have a huge fight.

11. Then people want to start toasting you randomly.

12. But deep down inside you miss bae.

13. So you decide to swallow your pride and apologise.

14. And you have a long funny conversation afterwards.

15. Then bae has to go to school in another country.

16. And you ask your parents if you can move there too and they say no.

17. And you wonder who sent you to fall in love.

18. And suddenly your life is an adaptation of Romeo and Juliet.

19. And you have to lay in a pool of your own tears.

20. Then you remember your toasters.

1. What’s Your Body Count?

2. Do you have any siblings, like a younger sister, maybe?

3. When last did you change this profile picture?

4. How did you screw-up your last relationship?

5. How long does it take to put on all that make-up?

6. Did you know my aunt has that same kind of hairstyle?

7. Is it that time of the month?

8. Have you gained weight?

9. Is that what you’re going to wear?

10. Don’t you know how to cook?

11. Are you a virgin?

12. My ex-girlfriend used to do this. Can you do this too?

13. Are You Really Going To Eat All That?

14. Can We Have A Threesome?

15. Why are you single?

16. Are you bleaching?

17. What weave is that?

18. Why do you like wearing that gown?

19. Are you wearing a butt pad or is that your real ass?

20. Is this how you’ll behave in your husband’s house?

21. Is this how girls from your village behave?

They can go a day without speaking to you

You don’t discuss the future

They like sleep too much

They don’t have the Timon app

They have a favourite ex

Romance has gone on holiday