relationships | Page 107 of 110

1. When you first get to the office and make a new friend

2. When you realise they actually like you and aren’t just pretending.

3. When they start giving you office cheat codes to make your office life easier.

4. When they start offering to pick and drop you off at home.

5. When it’s their birthday and you get the biggest slice of cake.

6. When people think you are working but both of you are just gisting on whatsapp for web.

7. When you start hanging out after work.

8. When someone tries to be friends with both of you, you’re like:
1. When he uses style to abuse you while you are disagreeing about something.

2. When you are trying not to cry but it’s really peppering you.

3. When he tries to joke like everything is okay.

4. When you get home and he sends texts really expecting you to reply.

5. When you wake up in the morning and he hasn’t called to apologise again.

6. When you bump into your friend and they ask you how he is, you’re like:

7. When you hear any song about heartbreak and betrayal.

8. When you tell your friend what happened and she comes to the conclusion that you are in the wrong.

9. When you guys finally make up and all is well in the world again.
1. You have a whole host of people to talk to while you pretend to work.

2. If your boyfriend is a useless boy, you have a network of spies all over the state.

3. When you miss some gist you have your people to fill in all the blanks.

4. When you get your heart broken they come and cry with you like;

5. When your mother asks you where you are going, you have a whole rolodex of people to use to lie.

6. When you get to a party and your whole squad is there.

7. When you get yourself in trouble and they come to your rescue, you’re like:
1. So I joined social media out of boredom and to feel among.

2. Everyday I would just go there, make noise, do amebo and jump on trending topics.

3. That’s how one day someone I always had banter with entered my DM’s.

4. First of all I thought it was just normal jokes and games oh!

5. Then he asked for my number! Ghen ghen.

6. Before I knew it we were talking all day, everyday.

7. Then one day he asked if I would like to go out for diner, as per a date!

8. I tried not to get too excited but I was like:

9. Then we finally went on the date and it was better than I imagined.

10. Then there was another date.

11. And another one.

12. Before I knew what was happening my heart was going jiggi-jiggi bam bam whenever I saw his name and number.

13. My friends had even started using him to make fun of me online!

14. Then one day I woke up to a text from a number I hadn’t saved.

15. The first line was “I know you don’t know me but I come to you as a woman”.

16. Ah! Look at life oh!

17. So apparently the love of my life was wedded in holy matrimony to another woman.

18. Whats even more fabulous is that he met her on social media as well.

19. And had even used some of the same lines he used on her to toast me.

20. And had taken us to the same restaurants.

21. Since that day whenever anyone tries to greet me too much on any social media I’m like:
1. When you wake up from them banging on your door because knocking like a normal person is too mainstream.

2. When they start dragging with you because you no longer want to attend their church/mosque.

3. When it’s time for you to decide a degree and your parent’s don’t hear medicine, accounting or engineering.

4. When you come 18th out of 20 students in class, your father is like:

5. When they suddenly decide that they know the most fashion and won’t allow you wear what you want in peace.

6. When they won’t let you hear word because you think their 7pm curfew is ridiculous at your age.

7. When the marriage discussion comes up, your mother is like:

8. When you give an opinion different to the one they like, your parents are like:

9. When they fight you because you don’t spend enough time with them.

10. And then fight you again for spending too much time with them and have now become anti social.
1. When they say you are their best friend ever.

2. When they say they wish they could date someone as nice as you or as kind as you.

3. When they say you would be the perfect boyfriend or girlfriend … for someone one day.

4. When they come and ask you for relationship advice.

5. When you ask them out and they say they don’t want to ruin the friendship.

6. When they try to use you to make the person they really like jealous.

7. When you use all your bars on them and get “wow thanks” as a reply.

8. When you confess your love and they say “stop joking”.
1. You can break up via text.

Chai!
2. You can use the gateman to do it.

“Madam said I should not open the gate for you again.”
3. You can use bae’s mum to do it.

“My dear I need to tell you something.”
4. You can use your own mum to do it.

“Young lady don’t call my son again he said he is no longer doing.”
5. Block them on social media.

Everything oh! Facebook, twitter, Instagram.
6. Use their best friend to do your dirty work.

“Umm your boyfriend wants me to tell you something”
7. Just start parading your new boyfriend/girlfriend while you are dating a new one.

Love is love!
So you and your guys are talking about love and relationships.

Forming like you people know everything!

Everybody’s head is swelling and they are talking one million talks.

Then you start trying to figure out how many girlfriends it will take to make you satisfied.

You need one to stop your mother from disturbing you about marriage.

Another one you have in the office to make life more bearable.

Another one that brings food in cooler for you at the beginning of the week.

One that is a prayer warrior.

One to teach you bad bad things “in the other room”.

The one that has a masters degree in frustration and manufacturing conflict.

The one that is an assistant mummy.

One that helps you augment your finances. As per assistant ATM.

The one that will nab you reading this post and give you query later since you are now insane.
1. When she says don’t worry then “I just think it’s funny how…”

But you just said don’t worry na.
2. When you tell her you’re going out with your friends and she says ‘have fun’

Wazz all dis ?
3. When you say you’re hungry and she says “tell that your other babe to cook for you na”

Nawa for you o.
4. When you tell her sorry and she says “sorry for yourself”

Some people sha…
5. When she says “you can’t even say sorry”

Didn’t I just say sorry 40 times?!
6. When she sends an angry text and you’re trying to remember what you did wrong

But….all I said was “hello”.
7. When she says “get out” and then starts crying when you want to go

I’m so confused…what’s going on.
1. When you see one crush at a party.

“Hey boo!”
2. And then the other one walks in.

This might be a problem sha!
3. When you are chatting with both of them at the same time.

Fun! Fun! Fun!
4. When both of them start to like you.

Ah! Wahala has come.
5. When you realise they are both actually being serious.

Which kind of one chance is this?
6. When you’re tired of them but they’re still talking to you.

You people should come and be going.
7. When they realise you have been romancing both of them, you’re like.

Before they come and kill me.

1. When you first get to the office and make a new friend

2. When you realise they actually like you and aren’t just pretending.

3. When they start giving you office cheat codes to make your office life easier.

4. When they start offering to pick and drop you off at home.

5. When it’s their birthday and you get the biggest slice of cake.

6. When people think you are working but both of you are just gisting on whatsapp for web.

7. When you start hanging out after work.

8. When someone tries to be friends with both of you, you’re like:

1. When he uses style to abuse you while you are disagreeing about something.

2. When you are trying not to cry but it’s really peppering you.

3. When he tries to joke like everything is okay.

4. When you get home and he sends texts really expecting you to reply.

5. When you wake up in the morning and he hasn’t called to apologise again.

6. When you bump into your friend and they ask you how he is, you’re like:

7. When you hear any song about heartbreak and betrayal.

8. When you tell your friend what happened and she comes to the conclusion that you are in the wrong.

9. When you guys finally make up and all is well in the world again.

1. You have a whole host of people to talk to while you pretend to work.

2. If your boyfriend is a useless boy, you have a network of spies all over the state.

3. When you miss some gist you have your people to fill in all the blanks.

4. When you get your heart broken they come and cry with you like;

5. When your mother asks you where you are going, you have a whole rolodex of people to use to lie.

6. When you get to a party and your whole squad is there.

7. When you get yourself in trouble and they come to your rescue, you’re like:

1. So I joined social media out of boredom and to feel among.

2. Everyday I would just go there, make noise, do amebo and jump on trending topics.

3. That’s how one day someone I always had banter with entered my DM’s.

4. First of all I thought it was just normal jokes and games oh!

5. Then he asked for my number! Ghen ghen.

6. Before I knew it we were talking all day, everyday.

7. Then one day he asked if I would like to go out for diner, as per a date!

8. I tried not to get too excited but I was like:

9. Then we finally went on the date and it was better than I imagined.

10. Then there was another date.

11. And another one.

12. Before I knew what was happening my heart was going jiggi-jiggi bam bam whenever I saw his name and number.

13. My friends had even started using him to make fun of me online!

14. Then one day I woke up to a text from a number I hadn’t saved.

15. The first line was “I know you don’t know me but I come to you as a woman”.

16. Ah! Look at life oh!

17. So apparently the love of my life was wedded in holy matrimony to another woman.

18. Whats even more fabulous is that he met her on social media as well.

19. And had even used some of the same lines he used on her to toast me.

20. And had taken us to the same restaurants.

21. Since that day whenever anyone tries to greet me too much on any social media I’m like:

1. When you wake up from them banging on your door because knocking like a normal person is too mainstream.

2. When they start dragging with you because you no longer want to attend their church/mosque.

3. When it’s time for you to decide a degree and your parent’s don’t hear medicine, accounting or engineering.

4. When you come 18th out of 20 students in class, your father is like:

5. When they suddenly decide that they know the most fashion and won’t allow you wear what you want in peace.

6. When they won’t let you hear word because you think their 7pm curfew is ridiculous at your age.

7. When the marriage discussion comes up, your mother is like:

8. When you give an opinion different to the one they like, your parents are like:

9. When they fight you because you don’t spend enough time with them.

10. And then fight you again for spending too much time with them and have now become anti social.

1. When they say you are their best friend ever.

2. When they say they wish they could date someone as nice as you or as kind as you.

3. When they say you would be the perfect boyfriend or girlfriend … for someone one day.

4. When they come and ask you for relationship advice.

5. When you ask them out and they say they don’t want to ruin the friendship.

6. When they try to use you to make the person they really like jealous.

7. When you use all your bars on them and get “wow thanks” as a reply.

8. When you confess your love and they say “stop joking”.

1. You can break up via text.

2. You can use the gateman to do it.

3. You can use bae’s mum to do it.

4. You can use your own mum to do it.

5. Block them on social media.

6. Use their best friend to do your dirty work.

7. Just start parading your new boyfriend/girlfriend while you are dating a new one.

So you and your guys are talking about love and relationships.

Forming like you people know everything!

Everybody’s head is swelling and they are talking one million talks.

Then you start trying to figure out how many girlfriends it will take to make you satisfied.

You need one to stop your mother from disturbing you about marriage.

Another one you have in the office to make life more bearable.

Another one that brings food in cooler for you at the beginning of the week.

One that is a prayer warrior.

One to teach you bad bad things “in the other room”.

The one that has a masters degree in frustration and manufacturing conflict.