Nigeria | Page 157 of 223

1. We can’t download food

Is it fair?
2. … or money!

Isn’t technology supposed to solve all my problems?
3. There are no robots to bathe us

In this century?
4. … or spoon-feed us when we’re tired

After a long day in traffic, is this too much to ask?
5. And what of the self-driving cars we were promised?

Please, don’t mention Google’s self-driving cars here!
6. Please, when is someone making us an ‘Invisible App’?

So we can disappear when debtors are at the gate!
7. Can you even believe that Mars is STILL inhabitable?

You mean we can’t relocate from this nonsense Earth?
8. And just how long do we have to wait for tele-transport technology?

How else will I transport myself to America without using visa?
1. Jolloficus-Ricicus

Creates jollof rice out of thin air.
2. Generatiamus

Turns on your generator when NEPA takes light.
3. Agua-Bagua

Brings ice cold pure water to you on a hot day.
4. Inlaws-mobilio

Sends your wahala in-laws (especially your mother-in-law) back to their village.
5. Morsel-diffindo

Perfectly splits food down the middle to make sharing easier.
6. Transportium-prohibere

Stops your danfo from leaving without you.
7. Frigidum

Freezes things, for those hot sunny days.
8. Incend-oleum

Shoots hot oil out of the wand. For plantain.
1. When you clock 20 years and your relatives start asking of ‘your husband’

Which husband did you give me, please?
2. When everyone in your squad suddenly decides to get married

I thought we were in this together.
3. How your mom gives you side-eye when your friends bring their aso-ebi

“What are you still dong with your life?”
4. You, when your younger cousins now want to get married too

You people are not playing with this marriage thing sha.
5. You and all the people in your squad that are not planning to get married yet:

Just me!
6. When you go to a wedding and you see your uncles and aunties coming

Let them not bring their wahala here.
7. How your mom does night vigil for you everyday

“I cast and bind every spirit that is blocking my child’s marriage!”
8. When you now announce that you want to do your masters, your whole family is like

“Is it masters we asked you for?”
9. You, when nosy people ask ‘why aren’t you married yet?’

Mind your business!
10. You, when your friends arrange the hundredth blind date for you

What is all this nonsesnse?
11. When your mum starts talking about your ticking biological clock

Everything is now about ‘biological clock’!
12. When you do something wrong and your mom starts with ‘that’s why you’re not married’

Has it reached like that?
Nollywood is giving us something new and super exciting this December, and we can’t wait to see it.

Directed by Sobe Charles Umeh and produced by Stan Nze, ‘Colourless’ tells the story of a crippled twin, who has watched his healthy brother live life to the fullest.

Things change when the crippled twin resolves to take out all his pent-up anger on his brother, and everyone around them.

Staring Nollywood up-comers Stan Nze and Chris Okagbue, as well as Judith Audu, Ordera Orji amongst others, the movie looks like the perfect year-end gift from Nollywood.

‘Colourless’ will hit cinemas on the 9th Of December, be sure to check it out!
1. When you see all your friends downloading Snapchat and you’re like

It’s only for vain people, though!
2. When you now realize there are plenty juicy stories there, so you start to rethink

Maybe it won’t be so bad, right?
3. When you download it and see that it’s actually too complicated

It’s more complicated than Twitter, Instagram and Facebook put together!
4. You, when you’ve downloaded Snapchat since 1900, but still have zero friends

Is this how you people are unfriendly?
5. By the time someone finally adds you as a friend, you’re already like

Thanks for helping my case sha.
6. You, when you try to take a snap and you’re looking too ugly

You mean I won’t have bomb snaps today?
7. You, trying to find the perfect lighting for your snap

See stress!
8. When someone now responds to a snap you don’t remember sending

What am I supposed to say, abeg?
9. You, when you mistakenly send a private snap to everybody

Jesus!!!
10. When you see your friends making up and saying ‘I woke up like this’ on their snaps

Who is this one deceiving?
11. You, when someone asks if you’re on Snapchat

I am, but I’m not stable at all!
12. When you see your self on your friend’s snap and you didn’t even know when they took it

They don’t even care if you look fine or not.
13. You, when the one person that posts bomb snaps now refuses to add you back

Kuku kill me!
14. When you see people’s snaps and they’re just looking at the screen and moving their mouths

What is all this mumu behaviour?
There we were, just having a jolly time on Twitter when we saw President Buhari making another speech about the ‘other room’.

I mean, we were so sure it was him, until we looked very closely.

Please, help us see this American wonder!

https://twitter.com/Oh_Ni_Dije/status/804794135140040704

Meet Katsina-born comedian, Mc Tawgaye, the guy who is truly President Buhari’s doppelganger.

This guy really had us fooled. Apparently, he does this mimicking act on a regular.
Check out more of Mc Tagwaye’s work on his Facebook page.
Nigerian parents swear they’re the best drivers in the world. But driving them is another wahala on it’s own.
Nigerian parents, when you mistakenly drive above 20Km/Hr:

When they see you driving with one hand.

Popular Youtuber, Comedy Shorts Gamer, aka Deji drove his father in a Lamborghini for the first time, and his reaction was priceless.

https://twitter.com/Chibueze_O/status/786698796428320768

Can you relate to this? Share your experience while driving your parents in the comments section.
We all know the Governor of Ekiti State Ayo Fayose, and we know how much he loves wahala!

He’s really not the type of person that avoids controversies, in fact, he lives for it.

You’ve not forgotten all the trouble he gave Madam Aisha Buhari, have you? Madam Aisha was so angry!

Now, he has come again. This time, his petty game is 10/10! Just look at how he dragged President Buhari’s administration:

Lmao Gov Fayose is petty! 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/vyKYKumDND
— SisiYėmmié.com 🌶 (@Sisi_Yemmie) November 26, 2016

Uncle Fayose is not even here to play.

We can’t blame Uncle Ayo Fayose this time around, this is the Federal Government’s fault.

Daddy Bubu, what are you doing?

Sorry for yourself!
1. How you still sleep by 7.45 AM because there’s nothing like traffic

Unlimited sleeping!
2. What of the joy of just walking down to your workplace

No need for danfo wahala.
3. You, when you see your colleagues running to sign in at past 8

Sorry o!
4. When your boss now makes you the janitor because you stay close-by

But they’re not paying me extra o!
5. When it’s time to close and your boss singles you out for more work

Is it an offence to live close by ?
6. When everyone is buying cars with their last kobo, you’re just like

Nah. Nope. Not gonna happen!
7. When you tell bae to come and pick you at work and he’s like “Can’t you just take keke?”

Come and pick me up, my friend!
8. You, when your co-workers say you should go and bring food from home during lunch hours

You people should better bring food from your house.
9. When there’s traffic and your co-workers want to turn your house to hotel

Just enter your traffic jejely!
1. If he sends you pizza and shawarma at work

Even roasted corn and eba, all join!
2. If he doesn’t flinch when you fart

We heard some of you have broken up because of this!
3. If he really listens and responds to all your senseless rantings

He will even join you to be senseless!
4. If he knows how to cook jollof

Husband material, one million yards!
5. If he takes you to mama on a regular

P.S If she prays that you’ll find your husband, just carry your slippers nd run!
6. And does he like your face with or without makeup?

He loves the messy you sef!
7. And does he genuinely care and support your career goals?

He’s just here for your happiness.
8. If he is truly the one guy who doesn’t lie

We’re all so done with guys who lie.
9. He also doesn’t see any qualms in buying you sanitary towels and other girl stuff

No biggie!
10. And if he’s not stingy at all!

He wants to spend his last kobo on you.
11. Plus he also tries to treat others nicely

The best!

1. We can’t download food

2. … or money!

3. There are no robots to bathe us

4. … or spoon-feed us when we’re tired

5. And what of the self-driving cars we were promised?

6. Please, when is someone making us an ‘Invisible App’?

7. Can you even believe that Mars is STILL inhabitable?

8. And just how long do we have to wait for tele-transport technology?

1. Jolloficus-Ricicus

2. Generatiamus

3. Agua-Bagua

4. Inlaws-mobilio

5. Morsel-diffindo

6. Transportium-prohibere

7. Frigidum

8. Incend-oleum

1. When you clock 20 years and your relatives start asking of ‘your husband’

2. When everyone in your squad suddenly decides to get married

3. How your mom gives you side-eye when your friends bring their aso-ebi

4. You, when your younger cousins now want to get married too

5. You and all the people in your squad that are not planning to get married yet:

6. When you go to a wedding and you see your uncles and aunties coming

7. How your mom does night vigil for you everyday

8. When you now announce that you want to do your masters, your whole family is like

9. You, when nosy people ask ‘why aren’t you married yet?’

10. You, when your friends arrange the hundredth blind date for you

11. When your mum starts talking about your ticking biological clock

12. When you do something wrong and your mom starts with ‘that’s why you’re not married’

Nollywood is giving us something new and super exciting this December, and we can’t wait to see it.

Directed by Sobe Charles Umeh and produced by Stan Nze, ‘Colourless’ tells the story of a crippled twin, who has watched his healthy brother live life to the fullest.

Things change when the crippled twin resolves to take out all his pent-up anger on his brother, and everyone around them.

Staring Nollywood up-comers Stan Nze and Chris Okagbue, as well as Judith Audu, Ordera Orji amongst others, the movie looks like the perfect year-end gift from Nollywood.

1. When you see all your friends downloading Snapchat and you’re like

2. When you now realize there are plenty juicy stories there, so you start to rethink

3. When you download it and see that it’s actually too complicated

4. You, when you’ve downloaded Snapchat since 1900, but still have zero friends

5. By the time someone finally adds you as a friend, you’re already like

6. You, when you try to take a snap and you’re looking too ugly

7. You, trying to find the perfect lighting for your snap

8. When someone now responds to a snap you don’t remember sending

9. You, when you mistakenly send a private snap to everybody

10. When you see your friends making up and saying ‘I woke up like this’ on their snaps

11. You, when someone asks if you’re on Snapchat

12. When you see your self on your friend’s snap and you didn’t even know when they took it

13. You, when the one person that posts bomb snaps now refuses to add you back

14. When you see people’s snaps and they’re just looking at the screen and moving their mouths

There we were, just having a jolly time on Twitter when we saw President Buhari making another speech about the ‘other room’.

I mean, we were so sure it was him, until we looked very closely.

Please, help us see this American wonder!

Meet Katsina-born comedian, Mc Tawgaye, the guy who is truly President Buhari’s doppelganger.

This guy really had us fooled. Apparently, he does this mimicking act on a regular.

Nigerian parents, when you mistakenly drive above 20Km/Hr:

When they see you driving with one hand.

Popular Youtuber, Comedy Shorts Gamer, aka Deji drove his father in a Lamborghini for the first time, and his reaction was priceless.

Can you relate to this? Share your experience while driving your parents in the comments section.

We all know the Governor of Ekiti State Ayo Fayose, and we know how much he loves wahala!

He’s really not the type of person that avoids controversies, in fact, he lives for it.

You’ve not forgotten all the trouble he gave Madam Aisha Buhari, have you? Madam Aisha was so angry!

Now, he has come again. This time, his petty game is 10/10! Just look at how he dragged President Buhari’s administration:

Uncle Fayose is not even here to play.

We can’t blame Uncle Ayo Fayose this time around, this is the Federal Government’s fault.

Daddy Bubu, what are you doing?

Sorry for yourself!

1. How you still sleep by 7.45 AM because there’s nothing like traffic

2. What of the joy of just walking down to your workplace

3. You, when you see your colleagues running to sign in at past 8

4. When your boss now makes you the janitor because you stay close-by

5. When it’s time to close and your boss singles you out for more work

6. When everyone is buying cars with their last kobo, you’re just like

7. When you tell bae to come and pick you at work and he’s like “Can’t you just take keke?”

8. You, when your co-workers say you should go and bring food from home during lunch hours

9. When there’s traffic and your co-workers want to turn your house to hotel

1. If he sends you pizza and shawarma at work

2. If he doesn’t flinch when you fart

3. If he really listens and responds to all your senseless rantings

4. If he knows how to cook jollof

5. If he takes you to mama on a regular

6. And does he like your face with or without makeup?

7. And does he genuinely care and support your career goals?

8. If he is truly the one guy who doesn’t lie