Nigeria | Page 156 of 223

Now that controversial presidential candidate, Donald Trump, is President of the USA, we can definitely expect hundreds of shocking news stories. These are some of them:
1. “Donald Trump Deports All Nigerians, Also Dumps Unidentified Africans In Nigeria”

2. “Donald Trump Says Theresa May Needs To Visit A Salon, And Leave The Work To Real Men”

3. “Donald Trump Attends Kanye West’s Concert, Raps On Stage With Him”

4. “Donald Trump Repaints The White House To Gold, Renames It Trump Towers 2”

5. “Donald Trump Packs His Hair In Shuku, Says He Gets Inspiration From Justin Bieber”

6. “Donald Trump Announces Ivanka Trump As His First Lady, Says She’ll Take Over Leading The USA After Him”

7. “Donald Trump Builds A Wall Round Mexico, Sends Bill To Mexico”

8. “President Trump Makes Melania Trump His Chief Bullying And Trolling Officer”

9. “President Trump Announces Everything Was Just A Prank, Says Hilary Clinton Is Real President”

LOL WE WISH!!!
1. This very awesome gif of Viola Davis leaving bullshit behind.

2. This picture that perfectly describes failing with confidence.

3. Jake blessed us with this totally cute picture of him writing and it was meme material for days!

4. The relationship between Nigerian men and lies is like:

5. This one that is the perfect Nigerian parent’s response to everything.

6. When your friend doesn’t take your advice and they come crying to you, you’re like:

7. Odunlade blessed us with the perfect ‘and so what’ expression this year.

8. When you tell your mom you want to do masters, but you’ve not husband home

9. The Nigerian economy in one gif

10. When you want to pay the conductor and you can’t find your wallet

11. When instagram vendors are selling shoes for N20,000 but you saw it for N2,500 in the market

12. This is how you will win 2017 without effort!
1. People that have finished NYSC

Congratulations! Now your struggle has ended.
2. People that know maths very well

Na you biko! We hail thee!
3. Fashionistas that have entered Bella Naija’s Aso Ebi Bella

The original slayonces!
4. People that have left our level and gotten married

We will soon come and join you sha.
5. All serious-minded entrepreneurs

Continue to create jobs for us all! Thank you and God bless!
6. People that went for Cowbell Mathematical Competition in school

Efikos of life!
7. Anyone who went to a Federal University

You survived that, you can survive anything!
8. People that don’t padlock their WiFi

Favorite kinds of people!
1. You get a break from work/school for almost 3 weeks

And that’s all that counts
2. Christmas parties are the best

I plan on going for parties from the 19th till the 30th
3. All the free food

Once you say free anything, i’m there
4. People have to be nice to you in the spirit of christmas

Even if I steal your food, you have to be nice to me
5. If your birthday’s in December(like mine), they’ll treat you like a king

Double blessings, just for me
6. When your parents ask you what you want for Christmas and you can’t decide

Do I want new phone? Or should I just collect the money
7. Dancing to that heavy Christmas gbedu at every party

I only do these dance moves in December
8. Dressing up on Christmas day

I must kill it in all the pictures
9. It ends with the beginning of another holiday. New Years Day

It’s the gift that keeps on giving
1. Home Alone

Was there ever a greater Christmas movie?
2. Frozen

Disney’s Ice Queen will make Christmas a little colder for you.
3. Love Actually

Can’t count how many times we’ve seen this one.
4. The Huntsman – Winter’s War

A harrowing tale of a woman who lost her child and literally turned ice cold.
5. Just Friends

When Ryan Reynolds got totally friend zoned.
6. The Best Man Holiday

When friends have a reunion over Christmas.
7. Coming To America

Okay, this movie is forever the best for any season!
8. Batman Returns

Watch the Batman of the ‘olden’ days!
9. Die Hard

Yup! This Bruce Willis action packed movie has a Christmas theme.
10. The Holiday

The greatest combination of Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet.
11. Trading Places

Another Eddie Murphy classic!
1. When they call your brother 5 times on prize giving day and they don’t call your name

Is this how life is?
2. You, thinking of all the cane you’ll chop when you get home.

Am I not in trouble like this?
3. When your class teacher wants to give report cards your heart is like:

I don’t want to be last position again o!
4. When she now starts looking at you with pity

Is that a sign?
5. When they now give you report card and you’re 34th of 35 people in your class.

Chineke!!!
6. You, when your brother now asks you to help him carry his plenty gifts.

Carry it on your head, Sir!
7. When you get home and your mum is waiting for you like:

“Ehen? Oya where is the result?”
8. And you already know today will be trouble!

Is this how I die?
9. You, when your mumyy finishes your life with cane

Is this woman even my mother sef?
10. Every time you do something she’s like:

“That’s why you don’t know anything!”
11. When they now buy gifts for your brother and forget you

Is it my fault I don’t know book, though?
1. When she rocked this ankara ensemble in Italy.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BJDkDK8hvsG/?taken-by=mocheddah

2. When she attended a wedding like this and stole the spotlight.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BI5lg8PBl6q/?taken-by=mocheddah

3. When she did the Complete Fashion Magazine shoot and it was totally lit.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BJ5YaMgBH8-/?taken-by=mocheddah

4. What of when she modeled her clothing line and has us wishing we could buy all!

https://www.instagram.com/p/BKnogQ-BJnW/?taken-by=mocheddah

5. When she gave us this co-ord that was too popping.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BK-WC1UDyxT/?taken-by=mocheddah

6. When she was total perfection in this gold dress.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BLPIBJJjirJ/?taken-by=mocheddah

7. When she stunned us with simplicity in this dress.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BMeDBimjQfl/?taken-by=mocheddah

8. When she looked too beautiful posing with a mannequin…

https://www.instagram.com/p/BMyfseUjNHv/?taken-by=mocheddah

9. … and holding a watermelon.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BMyj3c5DAok/?taken-by=mocheddah

10. When her dress made her look like a honey bee and we loved her even more.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BM3jnKCjEhk/?taken-by=mocheddah

11. And how can we forget the slayage that was this tutu and crop top?

https://www.instagram.com/p/BNSZxB1DTn9/?taken-by=mocheddah

12. And when she gave us the best 90’s vibes in this suit.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BOMhc4nDDNf/?taken-by=mocheddah
Times are hard, and people are getting more desperate to make money.

Some of us even heard there’s now ‘plastic rice’ in Nigerian markets.

We almost didn’t believe it until we saw this video.

Nigerian family exposes plastic basmati rice. This is evil machination inherent in evil beings. Grow your own food. pic.twitter.com/hRi9CAMk3A
— Ọmọàgbàmẹ́tàlá™ (@omoagbametala) December 8, 2016

Is this how you people used to do?

Open your eyes well when you’re Christmas shopping. Fake drugs are also common.

As for the government agencies that are supposed to keep these things out of the market, we don’t have much to say to you.
We know plenty of you like owambe and weddings especially.

And Nigerian weddings are never boring!

This Nigerian guy and his wife took the game to another level when they danced to Yemi Alade’s ‘Johnny’.

https://twitter.com/KdubSoSolid/status/807701102040780800

We too want to get married so we can do ‘Couple’s Choreography’ like this!
1. When you see one fine, but expensive shoe and your conscience starts shouting

“You know you’re already broke!”
2. When you now pass by the shop again, you’re like

It’s not good to be broke sha!
3. You, at work thinking of those fine shoes you saw

But if I don’t buy it, will I eat my money?
4. When you now pass by the shop and you can’t stop yourself

How could I resist all the other beautiful shoes?
5. You, trying the shoes for the tenth time at home

6. When you’re now sleeping and your guilt hits you

I have finished all my savings o!
7. How your account balance appears to you in your dreams like

“You think you’re doing me, but you’re doing yourself!”
8. When you now want to return the shoes, and the shop owner is like

Somebody cannot even play small play with you again?
9. So you just decide to enjoy your very expensive shoes like that

I will not kuku kill myself!