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  • 1. So you’ve just been given one fantastic appointment that will bring plenty money

    2. You’re doing great things all around and paparazzi will not even let you rest

    3. Your salary is plenty, but there’s even more money just sitting there

    4. You’re trying not to look at it but the devil is opening your eyes

    5. So you kuku take small and keep straight face

    6. … and start buying small small houses upandan, nothing serious you know

    7. You even buy your son a small kabu-kabu jet

    8. When people say Dangote is the richest in Africa, you’re like:

    Yeah right!

    9. When people start carrying rumors that you’re stealing, you’re like:

    My hands are clean o! It’s only small I took o! Free me, abeg!

    10. And your correct boss even has your back!

    11. Your face, when you hear there’s a new boss in town and he’s asking for you

    12. You, looking for the devil that sent you to come and bail you out

    13. When you finally find the devil, it’s like

    14. That’s when you know your own has finished

  • According to our Minister of Information, Alhaji Lai Mohammed, a whistle-blower rejected commission from recently recovered N1 billion loot.

    The reason for rejecting the loot, was because the whistleblower believed he was simply rendering a service to his nation.

    That guy must be a real patriot sha!

    Just to clarify, 5% of 1 billion is 50 million.

    Somebody rejected 50 million because of patriotism. In this same Nigeria!

    This is us, thinking of all the things we can use 50 million naira to do.

    This is us again, wondering how we can become whistleblowers and get offered big money.

    This is still us oh, wondering whether Alhaji Lai is frying dodo for us with this gist.

    Would you reject that sort of money?

  • 1. One good Samaritan is reminding all of us about this legendary iron

    2. The iron that can do absolutely ANYTHING!

    3. You can even use it to cut grass

    https://twitter.com/Topson007/status/831193069869490176

    4. And ‘spoil’ or ‘faulty’ is not in this legend’s dictionary

    5. It’s a part of our pasts and even our present

    6. It deserves to be honoured

    7. … and to be carried everywhere

    8. But some think it’s not that great

    9. Oh wait, this one is actually freaking great! No light? No worries

    https://twitter.com/mutuku__/status/831176021265227776

    10. Okay, which one is this o?

    11. Okay, you are not our mate if you know this one!

    https://twitter.com/Taylormade9929/status/831271217445351424

    12. This is the only one we recognise

  • 1. This incredible work of art built by, Uniben student, Josh Egesi

    2. This wooden car was built here in Naija.

    3. This surreal Iron Man replica built by Odumegwu Collins, a student of IMT Enugu.

    4. Our favourite childhood game is back to life, thanks to UNILAG student, Tade Ajiboye.

    5. This adorable 12-year-old who created an app to help lost children get home.

    https://twitter.com/BlackNewsOutlet/status/822167668912488450

    6. Nigerians have even created an original children’s cartoon translated in the 3 major languages.

    7. The indescribable artwork of Isaac Aladeogo.

    8. The amazing Florence Adepoju, who started her own lipstick line, MDMFlow, from her parent’s backyard.

    9. This mind-blowing, record-breaking contortionist, Adewale Alade.

    10. Shoutout to these brothers for blessing us with Wilson’s Lemonade. They started their business with less than N3000.

  • 1. Whatever calamity NEPA/PHCN tries to place on you any given day.

    2. Your boss is insulting you for laziness even when he hasn’t paid salaries.

    3. Your ex-girlfriend telling everybody the demise of your relationship was due to erectile dysfunction.

    4. When your mother in law calls family meeting on your head because you burnt ordinary beans.

    5. An empty bank account, because that one is a tragedy not a joke.

    6. Your husband having a baby with your junior sister.

    7. The exchange rate madness, especially if you’re a business person.

  • You definitely remember this touching image that flooded social media last year.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BBp1meUOGT8/?taken-by=dinnoedhjaelp&hl=en
    Last year, we told you the story of this 2-year-old boy who was abandoned in Akwa Ibom for being a witch, and Anja Ringgren Loven, the woman who saved and nurtured him back to life.

    The little boy was severely malnourished and disoriented when Anja found him and took him in.

    Originally from Denmark, Anja sold all she had and moved to Nigeria to start a much-needed charity foundation for Nigerian kids accused of witchcraft – the African Children’s Aid And Development Foundation.

    She named him ‘Hope’, and a little over a year later, the little boy’s life has taken an amazing turn for better.

    In just a year, Anja’s foundation helped turn Hope into a healthy, fun loving child. He even started school recently.

    You mean there are still people like Anja in this wicked world?

    Unbelievable as it seems, Hope’s case is not unique. There are many cases of kids being killed for being witches and organisations like Anja’s are doing a lot to save them.

    But see how Hope, the little fighter, is doing now.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BLu8TpjgfnX/?taken-by=dinnoedhjaelp&hl=en

    Just look at him go!

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BGYcxtjOGbL/?taken-by=dinnoedhjaelp&hl=en

    Humanity in it’s purest form

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BL8UonrA7WF/?taken-by=dinnoedhjaelp&hl=en
    Anja with the kids her organisation has saved over the years.

    God bless this woman.

    When there is life, there is hope!

  • 1. So we saw that there was going to be a protest and we decided to attend.

    2. Because to be honest, we are freedom fighters and patriotic Nigerians.

    3. Also, there was no light in the office!

    4. So we carried camera and marched to the National Stadium, like:

    5. When we got there and saw all the security personnel, we were like:

    6. We quickly ran inside to stand with our fellow “bloody civilians”.

    7. Before somebody will chop slap on top of “fighting for our rights”!

    8. When we saw the low turnout, we were confused oh!

    9. Because everybody on social media was forming “Young Fela” and freedom fighter!

    10. But now we could not find them.

    11. Even the musicians and celebrities that were using all their power to type in CAPS on social media.

    12. Their activism apparently na audio oh!

    13. We dey hear am, we no dey see am!

    14. Before we could say “When is daddy Bubu coming back” it was time to start walking!

    15. We walked from the national stadium to the national theatre with panache and style.

    16. And whenever anyone asked us which media house we were from, we said with pride…

    17. After some time we realised the police and extra security were there to make sure it didn’t get out of hand.

    18. When one of the speakers said “we will fight for Nigeria even if we have to die”, we were like:

    19. Sorry please who is writing list of die-makers can they remove our name?

    20. When we got back to the office all our colleagues were like:

    21. Because we were sweating like christmas goats, and so tired we just collapsed in the office!

    22. They were just jealous, because they don’t have what it takes to be real freedom fighters!

    23. And do you know the fantastic thing?

    24. There was still no light in the office!

  • 1. VIP’s like Charlie Boy and Seyi Law were there

    They know if they touch them, na trouble!

    2. When the police saw oyinbo people present, they were like:

    Who wants to touch oyinbo pepper and get sacked?

    3. Nigerian police looking at all the Channels and TVC reporters flying around with their cameras

    ”Don’t camera me oh!”

    4. The protestors were playing mad jams

    From Fela’s ‘Zombie’ to Eedris Abdulkareem’s ‘Jaga jaga’, the policemen could barely stop themselves from dancing.

    5. The protests were also very, very peaceful

    Not a single tout or agbero in sight!

    6. Also, their big bosses were there

    https://twitter.com/jag_bros/status/828703719902560256
    All the ogas at the top!

    7. They probably wanted to join the protests too, but the work will not allow

    Aren’t we all in this suffering together?

    BUT to be quite honest, the Nigerian Police really made us feel secure at the protests.

    Whether it was because their bosses were around or not, they did very well. There were hundreds of them from the National Stadium down to the National Theatre at Iganmu, and there was a police helicopter circling the skies all through. They just stood on the sidelines, silent and watchful. In their eyes, though, was a solidarity they could not fully express because of the nature of their work. For once, the police truly was our friend.

  • 1. So out of nowhere your oga decides to travel.

    2. First he says it’s a family issue.

    3. Then small time he changes mouth and says it’s for a much needed holiday.

    4. Next thing, you hear that it’s a medical issue.

    5. When you ask what type of medical issue, he’s like:

    6. Okay no problem! What of a return date?

    7. Small time his PA starts saying he has spoken to someone, who has spoken to someone who has spoken to him, and all is well.

    8. So even oga’s PA too no longer has direct access!

    9. Meanwhile oga is uploading snazzy pics on facebook.

    10. Making new friends and feeling funky!

    11. The long and short of the story is, which day are you coming back sir?

  • With the vast amount of history Nigeria has, it’s sad that students hardly learn about events that happened in the past. But these days, we have social media to thank for schooling us on fun and sometimes hard facts of history. This Twitter account, @ArewaHistory is dedicated to curating Nigerian history-specifically Northern history with rare pictures of people that helped shape the North and the country in general.

    1. This photo of Musa Yar’adua and India’s first Prime Minister.

    2. These little Northern girls and a British soldier.

    3. Aliyu Makama Bida gisting with Queen Elizabeth.

    4. Atiku Abubakar during his baby boy days.

    5. The first northerners to ever visit Europe.

    6. Professor Shehu Shagari, speaking strongly against the racism in South Africa at the time.

    7. This rare picture of Dangote before he hammered.

    8. Students at a motor mechanics class in 1959.

    9. The wedding intivitation to IBB and Maryam’s wedding.

    10. Emir of Katsina, checking out a traffic sign with his squad.