1. You, when you remember you’re about to see your wicked seniors again.
Stupid seniors that only know how to send you message.
2. When you realize there won’t be delicious food for you anymore.
Only salt and beans for the next months!
3. You, when you realize you can’t sleep past 5 o’clock for the coming term.
Can my parents just put me in a day-school already?
4. When you remember you won’t see your family for the next 90 days.
Not even my mummy that pampers me anyhow.
5. How you now start having nightmares the night before you go to school.
Hay God!
6. How you balance on the toilet for hours, because you know it’s only shotput after today.
You can only shotput after night prep sef.
7. You, when you’re eating that final meal before you leave home:
Before I face my cube of sugar meat in dining.
8. When you’re now almost in school and you see the signboard.
My wahala is about to start!
9. When you enter the gate and the first set of people you see are your wicked seniors.
It’s my God that will punish all of you.
1. They laugh a little too hard at your jokes.
Aunty I know I’m funny but this kind laugh you dey laugh.
2. Every time you talk about your babe, they look at you like.
Sorry na, I just said she said I should greet you.
3. They’re always at your table/cubicle.
You no dey work? Wetin you dey find?
4. Anytime you pass their desk/cubicle they look at you like.
I’m not coming to meet you, I just want to pee.
5. They’re always offering you food.
Na so Eve catch Adam, my sister I’m alright.. I don chop for morning.
6. When you tell them no, they try to act like its no big deal.
They’ll try to keep smiling even though they want to jump off the roof.
7. When they see you laughing with another coworker.
They’ll act like you’re disturbing them.
8. They blush when you talk to them.
Em… I just asked for a stapler, why you dey do like crayfish?
Nigeria is currently experiencing a terrible Cerebro Spinal Meningitis (CMS) outbreak, with about 328 people killed already. We told you about the signs and symptoms here.
But Abdulaziz Yari, the Zamfara State Governor, thinks the outbreak is upon us because we’re all sinners
Zamfara State is the worst hit and has the highest number of casualties. When he was questioned about this, he blamed God instead. Read the full story here.
Apparently, this Governor has talked to God in a WhatsApp message and God has revealed the reason we’re suffering from CMS to him
You, when you realize most Nigerian politicians have low thinking capacity
Zamfara people, when they see their governor
Other saner governors be like:
Meanwhile, the Ministry of Health has said there’s no such thing and CMS is not spiritual
Meningitis is a medical emergency not spiritual. Report any sign to the nearest health facility. FMoH Advisory 👇https://t.co/l27FKoP8kT
— Federal Ministry of Health, NIGERIA (@Fmohnigeria) April 4, 2017
1. When your danfo is speeding and you’re like:
Are we speeding to London or what?
2. When you look down into the water and remember you can’t swim
If we fall down like this, that’s the end!
3. When you see people walking on the bridge:
Where are you walking to, please?
4. When someone’s car now breaks down on the bridge
Oga, you have entered one chance!
5. You, when it’s now your unfortunate danfo that breaks down
Which kind of yama yama luck is this one?
6. When nobody now stops to give you lift
Is this how you people are wicked?
7. When you see people doing James Bond with their cars on the bridge
It’s like you people want to go and say hi to Baba God.
8. When the car keeps hitting those annoying bumps on the bridge, you’re like:
This bridge will not give me hypertension o!
9. One thing we know for sure: you don’t want to be stranded on 3rd Mainland Bridge with a poor network
Check out Etisalat’s EasyCliq plan to get more value for every recharge you make.
Check it out yuno.
1. Remember Gifty, former Big Brother Naija housemate?
5. She maybe working on a project but no one knows for now
6. We really can’t wait to see what Gifty 2.0 is up to
7. Because she always slays!
Every 22 March, the world celebrates World Water Day, but things are not as they seem
Right now, the United Nations says it’s facing the worst humanitarian crisis since it was created in 1945, and 4 major countries will be affected by drought, famine and ultimately starvation
1. Those countries include: Nigeria
Northern Nigeria as well as the Lake Chad region is at serious risk. After suffering from terror attacks, extreme conditions may cause millions to die, including children. In some communities, all the toddlers have died, and adults are too weak to even walk.
2. Somalia
Somalia has suffered from terror-related conflict just like Northern Nigeria and in 2011, it suffered severe famine. Now, more than one million children under the age of 5 may die due to malnutrition this year.
This woman had to walk for two days before she was finally able to drink water. pic.twitter.com/IprIL1zY3V
The World’s youngest country, South Sudan’s famine is described as ‘handmade’, because of the 3-year-long civil war the country is currently facing. 7.4 million people need aid and 270,000 children face imminent death if they don’t get assistance.
4. Yemen
Yemen is the poorest Arab nation, but Saudi Arabia and Iraq are supporting two opposing factions that want to control the Yemeni government. The conflict has affected more than 12 million Yemenis who currently need both water and food.
Want to help?
UNHCR, Mercy Corps, Save The Children, UNICEF are some of the aid organisations helping to fight the crisis. Visit their websites for more information on how to donate.
South African artist and graphics designer, Tumi Sibambo, is making awesome pictures of people into drawings. Until the 31st of March, he’s making these kinds of portraits for his ‘Queen’s Crown’ collection for women. To have yours done from any part of Africa, just upload your photos on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram and tag #SibamboPortraitsQC
1. This one he did for Women’s Day
2. This one celebrating the beauty of family
3. This beautiful portrait of Mahlalia, a South African gospel singer
4. A lovely portrait of Miriam Makeba
5. Aww, such a lovely baby
6. This one about the horrible, xenophobic killings in South Africa
Don’t forget to get in the competition and tag us if you win!!!
Things are happening in this our Nigeria
It appears that the Nigerian Bottling Company (manufacturers of Fanta, Sprite and Coca-cola in Nigeria) have been doing us plenty wayo
Apparently locally produced Sprite and Fanta are actually poisonous when taken with Vitamin C
And the soft drinks contain dangerous levels of benzoic acid and sunset additives
One Mr Fijabi attempted to ship large quantities of soft Fanta and Sprite to the United Kingdom in 2007, but they were declared unfit for consumption by health authorities in the Department of Environment and Economic Directorate because of a high level of cancer-causing substances. The goods were destroyed and Mr Fijabi sued NBC for damages in 2008.
But NBC says their product is fit for ‘local consumption’
So we should be ingesting poison because we are not Oyinbo?
In a court ruling on Monday,13th March, a Federal High Court Judge said the soft drinks should be fit for consumption by anyone irrespective of race or creed. She also ruled that:
That NAFDAC shall forthwith mandate Nigeria bottling company to, within 90 days hereof, include on all the bottles of Fanta and Sprite soft drinks manufactured by the company, a written warning that the content of the said bottles of Fanta and Sprite soft drinks cannot be taken with Vitamin C as same becomes poisonous if taken with Vitamin C.Justice Adedayo Oyebanji
People are asking why the coloring is so different
What of people that can’t use drugs without adding one bottle of Fanta?
Are we not finished like this?
As for NAFDAC, we have one thing to say to you
Stop selling our souls to the devil!
After almost 50 days in the wilderness (yes, we know he travelled to London), President Buhari is back.
He landed this morning in Kaduna, and then took a helicopter to Abuja.
Fellow Nigerians, rejoice! for your able leader has returned!
The first lady, Aisha Buhari shared this picture (we can’t lie, it’s quite cute) on her twitter page.
